The Broken Mask

The Broken Mask

By Chichi

Disclaimer: Not mine but the words... you can mix up the order and then it wouldnt be mine either (but then it wouldnt make sense too)

Warnings: Sapsapsapsapsapsapsap (I got this thing for sap now...) Agnst (a bit?...a lot) Death fic, yaoi 4+3

I sit in the attic rummaging through my old stuff. It's got to be here somewhere! I'm quite certain I kept that set of teacups after we got a new one. I just couldn't bear to part with them, even though Duo made so much fun of me about them. I knew they would come in handy too. And so they have, too many guests should never be an excuse for too few teacups! This box doesn't have it I push it to the side and pick up the next one. Perhaps this is the lucky one.

I rip open the top and freeze. Carefully and slowly I reach in and remove the broken mask. It's half smile stares at me, seemingly mocking me, daring me to remember. The crack down the middle of the mask haunts me even more and the weeks of waking up screaming and crying may just start anew. But an unknown force tries to make me touch the mask, feel it. Hesitatingly my hand reaches out fingering the crack

We all sat Heero, Duo, Wufei and I in the bleachers, awaiting Trowa's act. My excitement could not be contained, and like a child's always was noticed, the others surely did as well for I ecstatically the ground for Trowa with my binoculars.

"Oi Quatre, Trowa'll be out soon enough! You might want to calm down, don't be so obvious. Wouldn't want him knowing bout you being here right now would ya" Duo said nudging me in the ribs. Heero and Wufei just sat and stared ahead ignoring the both of us.

Suddenly the elephants disappeared and the lights focused in on Trowa. An over head speaker turned on announcing Trowa and Catherine's names. A slight rustle in the crowd and some whispering passed over it. I glared at them. How rude they do this over Trowa's act.

Catherine raised her hand above her head preparing to throw. The anticipation build up was too much for me, I almost felt like a little kid again.

"Look at the audience." Heero suddenly said. Why was he being such a drag, even here in the circus? He really should let up some times but I looked at the audience never the less. Heero is my leader after all, and he never says anything (other than omae o korosu) that isn't important.

"You're right" Wufei announced. The people in the audience were all anxious preparing for something. They nodded to each other and handled things in their pockets a very excited group, but definitely not excited about Catherine and Trowa.

"Where are all the kids?" Duo whispered loud enough for only us to hear. Catherine threw a knife at Trowa hitting the board in precisely the right spot, but no one applauded; no one seemed to care. Yet glancing at the crowd they seemed intensely focused on Trowa perhaps too much so.

"I don't see any" I whisper. This is all too different than it should be. Only adults in this crowd? Fear of the unknown loomed overhead and my concern for Trowa's well being grew quickly.

"Get ready. They're going to attack." Heero's hard edge steel voice announced and my fears confirmed.

They were OZ soldiers.

Sudden movement, as if on cue, erupted through out the bleachers. Everyone stood, attacking. Screams of anguish echoed from the staff of the circus through out the tent, but were consequently drowned out by the gruff voiced of the commanders ordering the soldiers about.

Heero's gun jerked from his pocked shooting the nearest soldier through the head. I fumbled for my gun mean while looking for any sign of Trowa. He must still be here! Heero, Duo and Wufei left for their gundams, leaving me to help Trowa, knowing that I wouldn't leave anyway. There he is, but before I can breathe a sigh of relief he is surrounded, Catherine pulled away. I get it I understand. They all knew Trowa was one of us, a gundam pilot. Somehow they got him. But but he cant die yet. He will not die yet. There's so much I didn't say

"The Alliance shall terminate all who oppose them!" A voice rang.

Another force, another factions has arrived making the aggression double. They quickly get into a shooting with OZ. When will the Alliance and OZ finally realize that their goals are similar and stop fighting?

Trowa escapes but to where? Everything's happening to fast! Stop it! I can't take this! Trowa I'm coming for you. I ran down the bleachers wildly shooting who ever dares to try to shoot me. Luckily most are too focused on the battle in the center of the tent to pay me much mind. But that's where Trowa is! I search the area wildly for Trowa and find him. Our eyes lock for a moment and I could never have been able to pull my eyes away unless he did so first.

OZ has somehow managed to kill off most of the Alliance opposition. So much blood I stare at my shoes soaked in the life of others. "Stop!" I say to myself and myself only. I become frantic and rush down the steps, towards the heart of the battle. Get Trowa and leave, get Trowa and leave, my mind and heart say in unison. "It's a Gundam!" Someone shouts when Heero's gundam flies into view.

"Disperse now!" Another says, and many people scatter. I stand in the middle wildly looking for Trowa. He's here somewhere. My eyes search out his and instead find a pair of cold dead ones.

"You're turn to die." The owner holds up a gun with a steady hand. Cocking the gun he says, "Good by Gundam pilot."

The surprise that appeared on my face wasn't evident to him for someone had landed between us, cutting off his dreadful glare. "Trowa?" I breathe. "Trowa!" I screamed this time, as Trowa gasps and jerks forward, blood splaying from his back and his mask hitting the ground. He falls into my arms. "No no Trowa. Why'd you do that?" I frantically shake him, tears spilling from my eyes.

"Trowa's breath was coming fast making it harder on him by the moment. He looked up at me with a partial smile and his eyes are full of warmth love? "Are you all right Quatre?" His voice speaks with effort and I nod numbly. "That's good."

"But Trowa, y-you wont m-make it." I grasp him close stuttering. I feel the warm blood cascading over my hands and the life flowing out of him, knowing even if he did get a doctor he would die and all hoped is lost. "I cant live without you!"

Anger sweeps through Trowa and he fiercely whispers into my ear, "Don't you dare. Make me one promise Quatre and that's all I ask of you. You'll continue to live and live happily." When I failed to respond Trowa continued. "Your death now would mean the wasting of my life. I want you to live on more than anything in this world. You cant refuse a mans last wished, especially from your koi"

"But, but Trowa I cant do that! Not without you!" I say kneeling. Standing was such an effort for Trowa and me alike. His heartbeat is slowing and new fresh tears break from my eyes.

"I'll always be in your heart." He says growing limp. "Hear the music in your heart remember what we played together, what we are together."

"But we never- I never told you I love you Trowa. Please don't go! Not yet!" I'm trying to grasp onto something, something stable but I'm failing miserably.

"I always knew Quatre, I always new. And I love you too." He gasps and I can tell he is near the end.

"Trowa" I say. There is nothing left, nothing.

"Take my mask. Remember it as the smile I never had and the heart I just gave" He trails off. I pull Trowa back a bit so I can see his face. His half-lidded eyes stare at me with pure love and as if time slowed for him and me, I pulled his lips to mine and we shared out first and final kiss Sweetness is the only word I could describe it with, despite the salty taste of my tears and metallic taste of blood, his blood, coming off my hands.

He dies there and I sit alone holding his body. The battle rages about us but I couldn't have cared. All that mattered was holding Trowa until the end and his warmth is gone. "We'll always be together." I try to convince myself.

"Quatre come." Wufei arrives next to me, sorrow in his eyes. The entire tent was empty save him, Heero, Duo, the circus staff, the dead and me. I release my hold on Trowa's body, it's usefulness is gone with Trowa's soul not there. Catherine comes and takes Trowa off; probably she will bury him since she is his family. I pick up the mask the long crack down the middle an imperfection due to the roughness in which it fell of Trowa's face. My finger trailed down the crack

And reached the end. Tears had dropped onto the mask and I quickly scrub them off, not wanting to ruin the paint. The smile on the mask no longer appears to be mocking me, but inviting me to love and laugh like a child.

"Quatre c'mon! We got guests here ya know!" Duo yelled up the stairs. "Don't tell me you got lost up there!"

"No no, I'm coming." I shout back. I set the mask aside and look into the box again. The set of teacups is underneath and I grab them leaving to go downstairs. I steady me self, wiping my face and straightening my clothes.

Pausing at the door and looking back at the mask I say, "Trowa I hope you know I'm doing what you want, I'm living happily. Someday I'll see you again and I'll give you your mask back." A light breeze of warm air washes over me in the airtight room. "I love you still." Walking down the stairs I'm left with a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. Trowa's still with me. In my heart.

***

^^ Didnt I tell you about the sap? Well tell me what you think... C&C... I've never written a 3x4/4x3 and I didnt really plan on doing it that way either... but the plot fit these two the best so... are they IC majorly OOC? ^^ Feedback!!!

Chichi~

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Protector of Heero's one true love

Healer of Heero's wounds

Owner of the bathhouse in the Shinigami Temple

Official Caretaker of Heero's guestroom in the Temple of the Shinigami Cult

Proud member of the SACBHY

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The Touch of a Feather, a GW page: http://www.geocities.com/chichi894