Antonio was sitting, feet dangling over the edge, when he heard the door creak open. He knew who it was, of course. Footsteps slid on hot concrete, small grains of rubble scraping the ground beneath them. The figure sat down next to him and flung its feet over the edge as well. A shuffle and a crack was heard, and the scent of cigarette smoke wafted over towards him.
"It's getting harder and harder to breathe, isn't it?" Lovino spoke, and although Antonio was listening, he continued to gaze out upon the city in front of him, instead nodding in response.
"Too weird to think that this city has stood for so long," He whispered, staring directly at the large circular structure further out along the horizon. People have lived here for eons—eons, Lovi—and it's just starting to lose its life now," He wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. Lovino snickered.
"Yeah, I was surprised that you didn't want to go back to your place. It's so hot here, it's almost sickening." He watched over his city, breathing in deeply. The sky was orange and the sun was larger than ever. Heat settled down upon the buildings and distorted them, made them wavier. It made Lovino sick.
"I'd rather spend my moments here," Antonio chuckled, "The people back in my country hate me now. I didn't show up to any of the preparation meetings, and now I'm not even showing up in my own country when it matters most." He tried laughing again, but was cut short when his breath lungs gave out, resulting in a coughing fit. After he caught his breath, he sat up straight, stretching his spine. "How much longer do we have?" Lovino pulled out his watch.
"About 9 minutes," He sighed.
"Wow," Antonio gawked, a pained smile spreading across his face. He moved his hand over just enough to reach Lovino's, gripping onto him. He felt the smaller man's thumb run over the back of his hand and smiled, tears beginning to gather in the corners of his eyes.
Antonio wasn't scared. He was never scared. He had looked into death's eyes on multiple occasions, and even celebrated it. He had lived too long to be scared of something as petty as death. The dirt and fire that filled his lungs with every breath was as inviting as it was painful, and the thought of being engulfed in flame wasn't necessarily worst-case scenario for him. However, he knew that Lovino was a very unstable man, and the green fields back at Antonio's home could never compare to the green of the two eyes in front of him. There was no argument when it came to staying in Madrid or Rome.
The silence that enveloped the two of them was as comfortable as it had always been, and they didn't expect anything less. They had barely noticed how much time had passed until they could feel the sun singeing their skin. Every building was illuminated in a golden hue, and the sky was practically in flames. Lovino suddenly took a breath in that was sharper than usual, and Antonio whipped around to find him in a crying mess.
"Toni, I'm scared." It was barely above a whisper, but Antonio could hear it from a mile away. He leaned over, wrapping his arms around the Italian and breathing in his scent. He smelled of smoke and sweat and Lovino, and it somehow triggered something within him. Antonio's hands travelled up and down Lovino's back in an attempt to calm him down. Sobs echoed through his frail form, causing him to shake beneath Antonio's embrace. Food was scarce, so they had both gotten quite thin over the last month. Lovino might have appeared tough on the outside, but on the inside, he was as weak as ever. Antonio pulled back to look at him, caressing his cheeks with his hands.
"Everything is going to be alright." He smiled sadly, kissing his forehead. "There's nothing to worry about," He whispered, kissing him softly on the lips. Lovino reciprocated, hugging Antonio tight against his chest, trying to get as close to him as possible. When he pulled back, he rested his chin on the Spaniard's shoulder, arms still wrapped tightly around him.
"I'm scared. I've been more terrified than ever. I've been trying to play it cool and appear composed, but let me tell you how fucking hard it is because it is fucking impossible. The world is collapsing in on itself and all I can do is sit here and watch as my entire existence is burnt to a crisp. And my brother is with Ludwig, and there's no way in hell I'm leaving my country to go see him up there." He was beginning to take a breath after every sentence. The hyperventilation was taking control of him. " I don't want to live. I don't want to die. I don't want to exist. I don't want to disappear." He gasped. "I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna d—"
"Lovino, Lovino…" Antonio cut him off, gently rubbing his back. "Take deep breaths. We are going to be okay." Tears were streaming down his face now. He couldn't see his Lovinito like this—it tore his heart to pieces. Once Antonio felt Lovino calm down, he threaded his fingers through Lovino's hair, leaving his other hand to trail comfortably along his back. They stayed like that until another minute had passed by. Antonio sighed deeply.
"Laudato sie, mi' Signore," He let the words softly leave his lips, barely skimming Lovino's ear and floating up into the sky above them. "Cum tucte le tue creature." He stood up and inched towards the edge, toes just peeking over it. Puffing out his chest, Antonio took in a deep breath.
"Spetialmente messor lo frate sole, lo qual è iorno, et allumini noi per lui!" He shouted out across the desolate city and up towards the sun, mocking it. His eyebrows furrowed, tears beginning to well up again. Why did it have to end this way? After how far he had come; after all he had risked to survive? His country had always been led along by the sun, and now the sun was betraying him? "Et ellu è bellu e radiante cum grande splendore, de te, Altissimo, porta significatione." He pushed out every last bit of air in his lungs, breathing heavy and continuing to look out at the city. Antonio turned around to look at Lovino.
"How much time is left?"
"Fifty-eight seconds," Lovino replied, his voice coated with worry. Antonio gulped and reached down to pull Lovino to his feet.
"Lovi, about how tall do you think this building is?" Lovino caught his balance, peering over the edge.
"At least fifteen stories. It's a hotel." Antonio looked into Lovino's eyes, gazing deeply into them, and suddenly, it was as if there were some kind of mutual understanding. Antonio smiled in relief, tears freely streaming over his cheeks and down the perimeter of his jaw, gathering at his chin.
"Te amo, Lovino." He pulled him in by his the fabric of his shirt, kissing him deeply. All of his love and passion had to be passed to him through this last strand of kisses, or it will have been put to waste. Lovino pulled back to gasp for air, openly sobbing.
"Ti amo, Antonio," Lovino whispered, frantically closing the gap between them again and trying to take in every last bit of Antonio. He wrapped his fingers in his hair and hummed. He loved Antonio. He loved him so much. He didn't want to lose him, and he was afraid of being alone. What happened when you died?
But he couldn't worry right now. That's not what Antonio would want him to do. So he caressed the Spaniard, trying his best to remember all they had been through, every last bit of it.
And as Antonio leaned backwards and Lovino's feet left the ground, he did not open his eyes. He did not think about the sun that was burning up the earth as they fell through the atmosphere, nor did he think about what was to happen seconds after. He thought of Antonio and clung to him, for nothing was more inviting than spending your life with them and watching them grow as a person, falling more and more in love with them each and every day. And when he thought of Antonio, he thought of the sun. Not the sun that had expanded to fill the sky with heat, but the sun that had casted light upon Antonio's face. Beautiful light that had kept them alive and leaked colour into their skin, light that had kept their land fertile and alive. Light from the sun that was slowly killing them. Memories flooded in and then quickly flooded back out, leaving his body and filling the air.
Antonio. Antonio. Antonio. Antonio.