Disclaimer: ST: VOY not mine. You'd have seen this insignificant little character of mine killed on TV if it had been under my ownership.

Author's Note: One hour and forty minutes to home and able to surmise that I've failed my third major examination this semester, I've decided to calm myself with some self-insert death. Got the idea from reading Singing Violin's profile… :)

I Hardly Knew Ye

By mistress amethyst une

Janeway sighed. Going to the funeral of an acquaintance from the academy wasn't her ideal way of spending her first weekend back home. Then again, it was a good excuse to delay her debriefings even for just a day or two.

She eyed herself in the mirror and admired the black dress she'd picked for the occasion. It was simple and sleeveless. Well, it wasn't like she really knew the poor girl.

What did she remember about the deceased? Oh yeah… That custom Starfleet uniform she had always insisted on wearing. That girl had gone and recycled all her uniform trousers into pencil skirts. Well, she had been "unique."

Ok, downright weird. Always sleeping in class, failing everything to do with math and science, notorious for copying homework… It was a miracle she'd ever made ensign although people did say she was an excellent holonovel writer and was top of her class when it came to diplomacy and public relations. God knew what she was doing in military school when she obviously belonged elsewhere. That girl was irresponsibility given human form but only because all the responsibility in the world wouldn't help her be good at some things she was never meant to do. No wonder she'd died so young. How had her friends described it?

"Her clothes got caught in the airlock and she opened it instead of taking off her skirt. We're lucky to have recovered the body."

It was at that moment that Janeway realized that stupid ways to die really did exist.

"That poor vain creature," she shook her head in dismay, "She was nice though."

She'd met the girl only a few times. When she had been observing classes at the academy… The creature fell asleep during her math test and actually drooled on her PADD. She'd also made a fine mess of things at the chemistry laboratory by setting her entire work station aflame. There was a certain mirth to her though. Even when everything was stacked against her... One of their few conversations had been about that.

"Captain," she'd said, "My goal is simply to graduate. Holonovel authors need credentials, you know… Even if I hate all this, I might as well have fun as compensation."

"But why Starfleet?"

She shrugged, "Ask my parents that. I wanted to take a communications course," she grinned.

She then laughed, "Well, I best be off. I have more math to mess up. Heaven knows if I'll ever use any of this crap. Tell me, Captain… Even on your missions when you're supposed to use the stuff you learn in school, have you ever found yourself looking for the x coordinate of y just for kicks?"

"Well…"

"I didn't think so. Call me stupid, and a lot of people do," she winked, "But I really think we should hit applications immediately. I hate doing equations without knowing what the hell I'm going to use them for later."

She walked off without so much as a salute of formality. And then, seven years after Janeway had been hurled into the Delta quadrant, they met again. The service was lovely and everyone seemed happy though not in the "Glad she's dead," way. More in the, "Always knew she'd die young and go with a bang" way…

She smiled down at the freshly dug grave, "I never even really knew your name, Ensign. By the way, x and y coordinates come in handy for plotting an uncharted quadrant of space. Too bad about your pencil skirt killing you. I kind of liked that style of uniform."

OOO

This is absolute nonsense. I just wanted to see if I could pull off a self-insert death people wouldn't absolutely hate. I love experimenting. :) Yes, I love skirts and despise math. xD