Author's Note: This is the last story in my 'you hold nothing but the sun' series. A little epilogue, if you will. It doesn't seem right to have a series about Jyn and Cassian and not have them interact in at least one story.
Again, this is a companion piece to "The Spy and His Informant" (Cassian's POV), "The Thief and Her Partner" (Jyn's Pov), and "The Captain and The Prisoner". You don't have to read those ones to understand this one, but I encourage you to nonetheless! *wink wink*
K2SO-LOG-R10-076
CASSIAN HAS ACQUIRED A HUMAN. PRISONER SIX-TWO-NINE-FIVE-ALPHA. JYN ERSO. ALIASES INCLUDE KESTREL DAWN, TANITH PONTHA AND LIANA HALLIK.
OUR MISSION: USE ERSO TO VERIFY CASSIAN'S INTEL FROM KAFRENE BY CONTACTING SAW GERRERA ON THE PLANET JEDHA.
PERCENTAGE OF SUCCESS: FORTY-THREE POINT NINE.
PERCENTAGE OF SUCCESS WITH JYN ERSO: THIRTY-THREE POINT EIGHT.
GENERAL ANALYSIS OF JYN ERSO: RECKLESS. EMOTIONAL. DANGEROUS.
CASSIAN SAID THAT HE DOES NOT TRUST JYN ERSO BUT HE HAS LET HER CARRY A BLASTER. AFTER INQUIRING TO HIS INTENT, HE GAVE NO EXPLANATION.
GENERAL ANALYSIS OF CASSIAN: AT PRESENT, PRONE TO RECKLESSNESS. IN NEED OF FURTHER EVALUATION.
He told Kay-too that they should just get going. Thankfully, the droid listened. Well, listened as well as he could have hoped. Their ship takes off and Kay-too begins preparing for their jump into hyperspace. Jyn Erso (or the Liana Hallik he has been tracking for the last four months) stays in the back with the blaster she has stolen.
His blaster.
He realises it now when it is too late.
A voice whispers: Maybe the droid's got a point, you know.
But he thinks of the way she glared up at him and how those dark eyes he has been staring at in the photograph for the last four months came to life. There have been days and nights when he has imagined what it would be like - to have her staring at him like that. Now he knows. Her gaze burns.
"Trust goes both ways."
He feels his skin itch. He recalls the downward curve of Draven mouth's as he whispered that last order: Galen Erso. You find him, you kill him. Then and there.
He can finish the task. Of course he can. He has done it countless times before.
"Ready?" he asks Kay-too.
"Coordinates locked," says the droid.
He pushes the gear and he feels the familiar jerk of the ship as it hurtles into hyperspace. Another step closer, he thinks. To Jedha. To Saw. To Galen Erso.
He discovers that he is taking off his headset. Before he realises what he is about to do, he puts it down on the console and swivels his chair around to face the droid.
"Kay, take over."
Kay-too's mechanical eyes enlarge in what he recognises as a droid's expression of surprise. Well, in Kay-too's case, surprise mixed with disdain and curiosity.
"Whatever for?"
"I'm getting a caf."
The droid barely hesitates. "She is still there, Cassian. She cannot go anywhere."
"Who?"
It is stupid, he knows, but what other choice does he have?
"Jyn Erso."
"I'm just getting a caf, Kay."
"You certainly are," says Kay-too, in a way which says he certainly is not.
Cassian sighs but gives his friend a reassuring pat on the shoulder before he leaves his seat. He knows the droid will not be reassured; Kay-too never gets reassured by anything, really. But if he can convince the droid that everything is fine, maybe he can convince himself.
He finds her curled up in one of the seats in the back. Her posture is like a cat's, he notices, with arms and legs pulled up and tangled like barb wires. She is not sleeping yet. Her eyes (bright and large and burning) are fixed on something she has in her hand. When she catches sight of him, her hand immediately closes on the thing and it disappears into her palm before he manages to catch a glimpse of it.
A memorabilia from her past, perhaps. Or something else she has stolen. He files it away for future use.
"We'll be there in a couple of hours," he tells her casually as he walks pass to pour himself a cup of caf. "Have you been to Jedha before?"
He knows the answer, of course. He just wants to know if she would tell him.
"Why ask when you already know?"
He turns and she is staring at him, chin lifted in defiance.
"I'm not testing you," he lies easily. Too easily. But he sees from the way she smirks that she doesn't buy it. He lifts up the cup in his hand. "Caf?"
She hesitates for a moment.
"I'm not going to poison you," he says. He picks up another cup, fills it, and takes a sip before handing it over to her. "It's cold in space. This will keep your vitals up and get you energised for what awaits us down there."
She just stares at him.
Idiot, he snaps at himself. You shouldn't try to get to know a dangerous woman whose father you are going to kill.
He pulls back his hand. "Fine. If you don't want it-"
"Wait!"
And she is out of her seat, her limbs untangling and her hair falling into her eyes as she stands. They stare at each other for a moment, him acutely aware that she is breathing hard and that she is looking at him with a strange look in her eyes. No, not want. It is not that. (Never ever going to be that.) She is trying to read him, he realises with a jolt. Well, he has had women try to read him before, but never quite like this.
"Here." He offers her the cup again, not knowing what else to do.
This time, she takes it. She doesn't say thank you - just takes a sip instead.
"Terrible," she remarks.
He takes a sip of his own and the heat almost scorches his tongue.
"Oh, absolutely."
The end of her lips quirk up as though she is about to smile but then thinks better of it. His eyes slip down to her waist where the blaster hangs.
"That's my blaster," he says, pointing.
She shrugs. Hardly a denial.
"You went through my bag," he says again.
"Well, you left your bag where I can find it." She shrugs again as if to say, fair game. "You don't carry much around, do you? Just gear. Nothing sentimental. No holoimage of anybody…"
She is playing him, he realises with dread. Trying to get under his skin and pry him open piece by piece. He thinks of the photograph of Liana Hallik he left behind under his cot at Yavin 4. The tattered, old photograph he carried around in his pocket for four months while he searched for her.
"You should get some sleep," he says instead, hoping against hope that his voice is still calm. "I don't know when we'll get the chance again."
He brushes pass her and makes his way back to the cockpit. He hears her scoff behind him, but he doesn't dare turn.
Kay-too stares pointedly at him when he takes his seat in the pilot chair.
"You are disturbed," states the droid.
You could say that. He takes another sip of the scalding hot caf.
"I have a bad feeling about-"
"Be quiet, Kay."
K2SO-LOG-R10-077
ARRIVED IN JEDHA. AN IMPERIAL STAR DESTROYER IS FLYING OVERHEAD. MY HELP WAS REJECTED BY CASSIAN IN FAVOUR OF JYN ERSO'S ADVICE. BOTH ARE CURRENTLY MAKING THEIR WAY INTO THE CITY TO COMPLETE THE MISSION. I AM WAITING IN THE SHIP FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.
MORE IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS OF JYN ERSO: RECKLESS. EMOTIONAL. DANGEROUS. PREFERS TO OPERATE ALONE. MIGHT BE CAPABLE OF EVOKING PECULIAR REACTIONS FROM OTHER HUMANS (CASE POINT: CASSIAN).
PERCENTAGE OF MISSION SUCCESS: THIRTY-THREE POINT NINE.
PERCENTAGE OF MISSION SUCCESS WITH JYN ERSO: TWENTY-THREE POINT EIGHT.
CASSIAN SAID THAT HE DOES NOT TRUST JYN ERSO BUT HE HAS LET HER CARRY A BLASTER BEFORE LEAVING IN HER COMPANY. THIS IS STRATEGICALLY UNSOUND.
MORE IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS OF CASSIAN: AT PRESENT, PRONE TO RECKLESSNESS, IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOUR AND INDECISIVENESS. FURTHER EVALUATION NEEDED.
He walks behind her, she notices immediately. Not too far behind, but far enough for him to catch her every movement and draw a blaster on her if necessary. He doesn't trust her still. What was it that Kay-too said? Cassian thinks that this is a bad idea.
The road into the holy city of Jedha is mountainous and they have to climb and crawl from rock to rock, feet and hands almost slipping on every ledge and every hollow. But not once does he offer a hand - not even to give her a leg up or to prod her in the right direction.
He just stands back, as if he trusts that she won't fall.
But then, as with most things she has learned about Cassian Andor, she doubts that he trusts anyone at all.
She thinks of the woman she met in Corulag - the informant who warned her that an Alliance officer was on her tail. What were her words again?
Sullen type. A fan of Corellian gin like you. He's not wholly bad, you know. Not much of a talker, but you can't have everything.
Cassian is definitely sullen, although she has not seen him drink anything except for the caf on their way here to Jedha so she can't say much on his taste in alcohol. She does not have to know him long to see that he is a committed spy; sleeping with an informant for information and leaving her heartbroken does not seem like an impossible task for him. He is definitely not much of a talker. But he did try to talk to her, and somehow, he has let her keep the blaster. His blaster.
If he is the man who was on her tail, then he would know about Liana Hallik and all her crimes. He would know about Corulag and about the seventeen-year-old boy she tricked, slept with, and then abandoned. He would (probably) know about Jyn Erso too. And this does not sit well with her at all.
It might be because they are in Jedha, but Saw's voice seems to be whispering to her.
Strike first. Strike hard.
So she stops in her tracks and wheels around. Cassian, who is following close behind, nearly stumbles into her.
"What's wrong?"
"I met your informant on Corulug," she says quickly. (Maybe if she says everything quickly, the shame wouldn't be so great.) "Turns out she is not as loyal as you might think. She warned me that you were looking for me."
His face remains impassive. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"I believe her name is Heera."
"I have many informants."
She cocks her head. A challenge. "And do you sleep with all of them?"
The mask of the spy slips and various emotions flicker through his expression at once. She can't catch them all. There is anger there, for sure, and pain. And there is something else she can't quite read. Again, there are many things about him that she can't quite read, and it bothers her, but she doesn't know why. And that bothers her even more.
"We don't have time for this," he tells her, running a weary hand through his hair. "This - here - " he gestures at their surroundings, "we don't have time for this here."
"I think I deserve to know if you're the one who's been following me for the last few weeks."
He lets out an exasperated sigh.
"We don't have-"
"Answering my questions will help speed things up."
"Fine! Fine!" His shoulders drop and he glares at her. She smirks.
"So," she continues, crossing her arms and looking at him up and down, "are you the one?"
"Yes."
"How long were you following me?"
"Four months and two weeks."
She feels her heart sinking inside her chest. Four months.
"You were…" he sighs again and looks away. He shoves a hand into his jacket pocket. "You were…impressive."
"You're mocking me."
So he knows (almost) everything about her while she knows nothing about him. She could have hit him right then and there.
"No, I'm not mocking you."
"So you know about Davin and the propellors I stole. About…"
She can't quite bring herself to speak his name, but Cassian seems to understand. He nods.
"I know about the boy, yes."
She wants to ask other questions, but can't. He seems to understand that too.
"The boy's fine," he says in a flat, indecipherable tone. "And you're well shot of him, if you ask me."
Is that a compliment? Another joke? She can't quite tell. Again. She wants him to clarify what he meant, but he is looking at her in a completely new way. No, not with want. It is not that. (Never ever going to be that.) It is not trust either. (She doubts that he will ever trust her.) It is something else entirely.
Then he says quietly, almost without emotion, putting words to the intangible things she sees in his eyes: "Jyn, I am not judging you."
And for a moment, the world shifts.
She looks back at him and she is the little girl in the cave again, huddled against the cold and the dark with the hatch above her. She shoves down the memory, bites the inside of her mouth until she tastes blood. He has not promised her anything with those words. But why does it feel like he has?
"Okay," she manages to say. "Okay. Let's go."
She turns away before he can say anything else.
They continue trekking across the wasteland, but this time, he begins keeping strides with her now. She doesn't say anything about it. (What can she say?) Sometimes, she even feels a ghost of a touch. His hand on the small of her back.
(And he leans in closer until she sees the unevenness of his beard and all the colours dancing in his eyes.)
But then the touch is gone again, and she convinces herself that she must have imagined it into existence.
K2SO-LOG-R10-078
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. CASSIAN'S INTEL VERIFIED. JEDHA CITY OBLITERATED. CONFIRMATION SENT TO BASE ONE. AWAITING FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.
CASSIAN HAS ACQUIRED THREE MORE HUMANS - A DEFECTED IMPERIAL PILOT, A BLIND MONK AND HIS PARTNER.
CALCULATING THE EFFECTIVENESS OF THESE THREE IN A MISSION: THIRTY-TWO POINT NINE PERCENT.
CURRENT SURVIVAL RATE OF SHIP AND CREW: TWENTY-THREE POINT TWO PERCENT.
MORE IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS OF CASSIAN: AT PRESENT, PRONE TO RECKLESSNESS, IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOUR, INDECISIVENESS AND SECRECY. HE IS SAFE ON BOARD THE SHIP BUT - REGRETTABLY - SO IS JYN ERSO. EXPLANATION NOT GIVEN.
FURTHER EVALUATION NEEDED.
.
.
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Author's Note: There it is! And I simply can't pass up the opportunity of Kay-too trolling Jyn. Please let me know what you thought!
On a serious note, thank you so much to everyone who has read, commented or given kudos to the stories in this series. I appreciate it all and I am very grateful for your support and interest.