Save me

But I will fight until the day the world stops turning. And they will fall to ashes, I will just keep burning. But tonight I need you to save, I'm too close to breaking. The Edge, Tonight Alive.

I'm still standing. Why? Why did it have to be like this! I never wanted this, this immortality. This petty human dream to live forever. Why? I've asked myself that many times but it always leads me back to one sentence echoing in my head 'life is a beautiful lie while death is the painful truth' I never knew why humans feared death so much, maybe the other me- the human me- would know… but no matter I would never be her again. Too much hurt, heartbreak, bloodshed. I turned my back on that years ago when the sky went dark, the ground turned red and the world burnt 'so much fire…'. But no matter what I couldn't bring herself to turn my back to the small creatures who loved, fought and lost and won and hurt and healed. Call me sentimental-and they did- but I watched, watched and reaped and sowed. Watched as these animals grew, reaped their souls for judging and sowed new life- choosing what souls could try for rebirth and those who could have a small slice of heaven nestled away in some far corner to be happy in death.

I was happy and content and I thought nothing could ruin that 'how naïve', well until Lucifer rebelled, that wasn't good. I could get him though, I mean God asking us to bow down and love humans more than Him? That was rather sudden, and in true Lucy fashion- he threw a tantrum but I loved him, how couldn't I, he was my big brother, he helped raise me as an angel, he raised me with Gabriel and I couldn't hate him. Not for rebelling, only for not seeing how beautiful these creatures really are. I know Gabe gets this, I saw him leave after all. I watched over him after, I saw how he threw himself into Loki until he was satisfied that no-one would find him. And no-one would for I will shield him from view and let him live in peace…

I have been watching over the angel Gabe left behind. His name is Castiel and he is easy to look after. Sometimes I wonder if that is bad, but I swore to myself that I would protect him from harm and to follow what he thinks is the right path. I can only hope that that was the correct decision as god has been distant lately. I want to leave soon but god has disappeared so I cannot leave for I am bound to his will. Castiel has a long life ahead of him I can sense it. But I am too late to stop most of the damage, Naomi [that bitch] has already wiped his sweet innocent mind, tainted as one of Gods warriors I wish him well when I am not around to protect him.

God has appeared to me as I was alone by the gates, he told me that I was free and to find the scarecrow. He pushed me down to the earth and locked my powers in my swords and a human, I do not know what one. But I am grateful for my father as he has given me my old vassal back and left me with my gear and my memories. I am starting to get flashbacks from something so I will go sleep it off as they might be a side effect from my… 'fall'?

I can sense Gabe near, it is with those Winchesters and… Lucifer? I must go for that must mean bad things. I am lucky I am so close as those stupid, arrogant Pagan gods tried to kidnap me and others for food… [idjits] I never left though, If I did that would have been Gabe's downfall. I pushed him out of the way. I now have a hole in my torso… De ja vu… Gabe's panicking now, so is Lucy. I just glared at Lucy… he left after I hissed at him… I just collapsed, is that good? I can't feel anything. I just told Gabe that. He just stared at me surprised I think. Someone just ran in; I can't see who they are but the brothers call him(?) 'Grey' he feels familiar, I just stood up I can't see his face but his hair… could it be? Is it him? But I didn't hear anything about him getting another chance! I just staggered, Gabriel is trying to get me to sit back down again but I won't. Not until I find out if its him or not. He just turned around. He looks good, familiar, the same. He is surprised, now panicked. He just picked me up and put me on a table. I remember His words now to find the scarecrow, well I just found him. I touched his forehead and I can feel my grace flowing back now, we need to go, Michael would have felt that. That wound is healing. We need to go now. Gabe knows I and getting up to go. He is standing there shocked the brothers have their guns pointed at me. I have grabbed hold of Gabriel. I am leaving. Gabe has just looked at the younger, he has found his mated one maybe? If so I am sorry for that but we need to go, I have told that that they need to leave before Michael arrives, they just glared. He- I shall call him Grey as that is the name he has taken- is starting to pull them out of the hotel the younger is protesting but Gabe just looked at him and he stopped. I just left. I am happy. Gabe is here and so is Castiel apparently, he goes by 'Cas' or is that just what the brothers call him…

He is happy so I am happy and I wish him luck in whatever and hope that now, if he needs help he will call for that is what I taught him all those years ago and I look forward to seeing him, Gabriel and Grey again.

And again, I am not alone. Not anymore.