Shape of My Heart
By: Silverstar
~~~~~
Hey minna-chan!!! I hope you all like this one! I wrote it last year, and coming upon it this year, I decided to send it out. New Years is right around the corner ya know! Please review or send emails to Silverstar81286@aol.com. Suggestions or praise are needed immensely. If I get nothing, then I'll go into depression...^^ Okay, I guess I should say the disclaimer. I do not own Gundam Wing...darn it! And I don't own the song "Shape of My Heart" by the Backstreet Boys. I'm sorry if any of you don't like this group, but my sister is obsessed. When you share a room with an obsessed fan you tend to listen to and know every single song on the whole CD...*grumble grumble*...Anywayz, I liked this song so I decided to write a fic. I hope you enjoy!!!! ~~~~~ ^.^ ^-^ ^^ ^o^ O_O o_o hee hee...I luv smiles!!!
~~~~~
Opening the door to my apartment, I let out a sigh of relief. Tomorrow was Sunday, which meant a day of rest and relaxation. Work was getting time consuming and stressful. I took a step into my home only to hear the sound of wrinkled paper. Looking down, I saw a small envelope on my floor.
"Hello?" I questioned to the empty apartment. After looking around cautiously I closed the door, picked up the envelope, and walked over to my desk. Turning the light on, I put down my suitcase and opened the mysterious piece of paper. The only clue to what might be inside was the smooth and familiar handwriting on the front, that careful spelled out the name "Heero."
Dearest friends,
I, Relena Dorlan, am hereby inviting all of you, my friends, to a New Years celebration from 8 o'clock pm on December 31st to 1 o'clock am on January 1st. Refreshments will be available, and please, no gifts are necessary. I hope to see all of you soon, and I'm looking forward to welcoming the new year with all of you.
With love,
Relena
"Hmmmnnn...." I thought quietly, and was just about to decide that I should keep to myself and not go, but then another piece of paper fell out of the envelope. I reached for it and it read:
Heero,
Please consider coming...I would love it if you would take some time out of your busy schedule to come and see me. I'd be honored if you came. If not, I'll see you around work.
Relena
P.S. Your Mission : Have some fun ! Will you accept this mission???
Smiling to myself, I set the letter down and walked into my bedroom to get ready for a shower.
*****
As I stood over my bed, looking at my new suit laid before me, I started to have doubts. The question kept repeating in my head over and over...leaving a feeling of dizziness and confusion. Should I go? Am I making the right decision? Is she ready? Am I ready? A hole the size of my fist was burning in my heart. If I went to this party...it would symbolize a new beginning. I'd probably tell her everything...All of my secrets would be revealed. But then again, if I let this chance slip by me...I'd hate myself for the rest of my life. There was only one choice I could make...
Twenty minutes later I had had my shower, gotten dressed, picked up my car keys, and was on my way to the car. My destination was Relena's New Years Party. My mission: To embrace my destiny, fate, and love.
*****
As I pulled up to Relena's huge mansion that was decked out with lights and streamers, I smiled to myself. Then, before I could stop myself, I started to laugh. It was all really funny really....really...it was...Here I was, the man who has saved earth and have been in many life and death circumstances...yet I was afraid to walk into a party, hosted by the one person who cared about me the most.
"The irony of it all...I can't take it...hehehe..." I chuckled to myself, looking up at the house. A few minutes later I had myself under control, and reality sunk in. My features had changed from relaxed and indifferent to nervous and jumpy. Just as I gathered up enough courage to take a step, something smacked me hard against the back. Immediately switching into combat mode, I dropped to the ground and rolled a couple of feet to the side. When I reached for my gun and remembered that I didn't carry one anymore, I looked up. There stood a smiling and gloating Duo. Mumbling to myself, I pushed myself off the ground and dusted my suit off.
"Hey Heero! A little uptight tonight now, aren't we?" he said in an annoying and knowing voice that made me want to smack him across the face. I grunted in response and managed to refrain from hurting him as he put his arm around my shoulder and started to drag me closer to the front door.
"C'mon Heero! We're already late!" he urged, as we got closer to the door. Finally, I decided that enough was enough. Bracing myself, I stopped dead in my tracks and Duo came slamming back into me, and fell to the ground.
"Owwww......Hey!" he whined up to me, giving me a hurt look. I looked down at him, and then offered my hand.
"Sorry," I mumbled, wondering where Relena was at this moment.
"Um...thanks..." he said cautiously before taking my hand and getting up. "Um...Heero?" I looked over at him and was surprised at what I saw in his face. It was understanding. "I know you're worried Heero...but don't be. She won't disappoint you." I looked at him in shock, and then nodded my head, a miniature smile on my face.
"Thanks....thanks," I said, as we walked the rest of the way towards the house.
Taking a deep breath, I reached for the door knob and we walked in. Tonight was the night I would see her...and tell her the truth. The house was filled with guests from all over the world. There were important politicians, world leaders, soldiers, and government officials. There were also family and friends of Relena. I quickly remembered how Relena had addressed my invitation with the word "friend."
As I looked around I saw Duo heading towards the dining room.
"Probably off to find Hildie," I mused, wondering what they were going to do tonight. After thinking about it, I decided I didn't want to know. Anyway, I had a mission to complete, and Relena had to be somewhere in the house. As I walked around quietly, I saw no sign of her. Every now and then a familiar face would show up, but no one talked long. Quatre and Trowa were hanging out by the TV report, Duo and Hildie were by the refreshment tables, and Sally was over near a locked door, pleading for Wufei to come out. As I walked through swarms of the drunk and laughing people surrounding me, I came to a conclusion. I was never going to go to another New Years party again. It was impossible to find her in this crowd! Finally, getting fed up with it all, I decided I needed to bail. When I spotted a balcony I sighed with relief, and headed outside.
"Thank you, some fresh air," I said as the cool night air hit me. Then, looking ahead of me, I saw Relena. She was looking up at the bright and twinkling stars, and the beauty that she held made my heart stop. Unfortunately, this also made me drop my champagne glass. She quickly turned around, but when she saw me her features switched from alarm to joy. She ran towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her small frame up to mine. My first instinct was to push her away, or even to threaten her life...Then I remembered that the war was over. There was no need for coldness and cruelty any longer. My life wasn't being threatened and she would not get hurt. I could be with her without worry that my death would bring her sorrow.
"Heero...You came! I wanted to start the New Year off with you." she whispered to me in an excited voice. I didn't notice that I was trembling, so when I fell to my knees I was surprised. Relena knelt beside me with worry written all over her face. She was so close...I had never dared to get this close to her before. Unconsciously, I had an unemotional blank expression on my face, and when she got up to walk away, I realized this. I couldn't let her leave! This was my chance.
*Baby, please try to forgive me*
*Stay here, don't put out the glow*
*Hold me now, don't bother*
*If every minute it makes me weaker*
*You can save me from the man that I've become*
I reached up and grabbed her arm before she could take three steps. She looked down at me with surprise...And with HOPE. I got up, and walked directly in front of her, looking into her eyes.
"Relena, I've become cold and bitter. The war has had its effects on me. I fought for the people of earth, and the people of the colonies...But at the same time I pushed your heart away. I didn't want you to get hurt...You have to believe me. My life was so dangerous, and any contact with me could be life threatening to you...Even then, you had an effect on me. Different from the war's effect, for your presence brought out my goodness...not the quality needed on the battlefield. You moved a piece of my heart, making me weak in battle...At least in my eyes. But...I don't care any more. I just don't care. Please, forgive me."
*Lookin' back on the things I've done*
*I was tryin' to be someone*
*Play my part, And kept you in the dark*
*Now let me show you the shape of my heart*
She starred at me, disbelief strongly written in her soft angelic features. She was silent for a moment, but when the shock wore off I saw wholesome tears of joy coming to her eyes.
"Heero...You don't know how long I've waited...How many times I've cried...The sadness I felt..."
"It was so hard," I said to her as I put my hand over her, and we interlocked our fingers. "The loneliness that came with the title 'Perfect Soldier' held such pain. During the war, there was also a war inside of me...But the soldier had won, and taken me to a life of fighting and death. I'm sorry I didn't fight harder...I should have fought the title of the 'Perfect Soldier'...I should have."
*Sadness is beautiful*
*Loneliness is tragical*
*So help me, I can't win this war, oh no*
*Touch me now, don't bother*
*If every minute it makes me weaker*
*You can save me from the man that I've become*
I pulled Relena towards me and we wrapped our arms around each other. Then, I whispered in her ear...
"I pushed you away before so I could be a 'Perfect Soldier,' but the war is over now. Will you...Can you...forgive me?"
*Lookin' back on the things I've done*
*I was tryin' to be someone*
*Play my part, And kept you in the dark*
* Now let me show you the shape of my heart*
I pulled her a step away from me and looked into her eyes. Many emotions reflected out of them...caution, excitement, wonder, and...love? Please Relena...Don't disappoint me. You have every reason to, but please...
"I've kept secrets from you Relena...but the war is over now. Safety is all around us. I wasn't sure what secret I wanted to tell you first, so I decided that this would be the first thing." Then, I slowly leaned forward and drew her towards me. Our lips met...
*I'm here with my confession*
*Got Nothing to hide no more*
*I don't know where to star*
*But to show you the shape of my heart*
I slowly drew away and searched her eyes with mine. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were opened wide. I then realized that it was probably her first kiss. I know it was mine.
"I promise not to keep anything form you any more...just please...forgive me."
"Do you promise?" she asked innocently.
"Yes," I replied. "With all my heart."
*I'm lookin' back on the things I've done*
*I never wanna play the same old part*
*Keep you in the dark*
*Now let me show you the shape of my heart*
Like a magnet we were pulled closer and closer together. As we shared our second blissful kiss, shouts from the inside drifted towards us.
10...
9...
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
!Happy New Year!
It suddenly wasn't cold on the balcony anymore. When we broke apart I heard the sound of celebration from inside. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was 12:00, and I looked back up at Relena. "I wanted to start the New Year off with you." I remembered Relena saying, when she first saw me.
"Relena...It's 12:00. We did start off the New Year with each other," I whispered in her ear.
"My dream has come true," she whispered back, as we leaned towards each other for another heavenly kiss.
1 Year Later
I looked with annoyance over at Relena. I couldn't believe that she had talked me into coming to her New Years party! There were important politicians, world leaders, soldiers, government officials, family, and friends. Just a year ago I had vowed never to go to a New Years party ever again...And here I was! I glanced over at Relena again and saw her showing off her beautiful diamond engagement ring. Two seconds later she was bouncing up to me with excitement. The countdown would be starting soon. Still having some of my perfect soldier traits, I gave her a hard glare...But my eyes softened at the sight of her. She was so beautiful...
10...
9...
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
"Happy New Year!" Everyone shouted. Except, that is, for us. We were welcoming the New Year with a long and sweet kiss.
*Show you the shape of my heart*
By: Silverstar
~~~~~
Hey minna-chan!!! I hope you all like this one! I wrote it last year, and coming upon it this year, I decided to send it out. New Years is right around the corner ya know! Please review or send emails to Silverstar81286@aol.com. Suggestions or praise are needed immensely. If I get nothing, then I'll go into depression...^^ Okay, I guess I should say the disclaimer. I do not own Gundam Wing...darn it! And I don't own the song "Shape of My Heart" by the Backstreet Boys. I'm sorry if any of you don't like this group, but my sister is obsessed. When you share a room with an obsessed fan you tend to listen to and know every single song on the whole CD...*grumble grumble*...Anywayz, I liked this song so I decided to write a fic. I hope you enjoy!!!! ~~~~~ ^.^ ^-^ ^^ ^o^ O_O o_o hee hee...I luv smiles!!!
~~~~~
Opening the door to my apartment, I let out a sigh of relief. Tomorrow was Sunday, which meant a day of rest and relaxation. Work was getting time consuming and stressful. I took a step into my home only to hear the sound of wrinkled paper. Looking down, I saw a small envelope on my floor.
"Hello?" I questioned to the empty apartment. After looking around cautiously I closed the door, picked up the envelope, and walked over to my desk. Turning the light on, I put down my suitcase and opened the mysterious piece of paper. The only clue to what might be inside was the smooth and familiar handwriting on the front, that careful spelled out the name "Heero."
Dearest friends,
I, Relena Dorlan, am hereby inviting all of you, my friends, to a New Years celebration from 8 o'clock pm on December 31st to 1 o'clock am on January 1st. Refreshments will be available, and please, no gifts are necessary. I hope to see all of you soon, and I'm looking forward to welcoming the new year with all of you.
With love,
Relena
"Hmmmnnn...." I thought quietly, and was just about to decide that I should keep to myself and not go, but then another piece of paper fell out of the envelope. I reached for it and it read:
Heero,
Please consider coming...I would love it if you would take some time out of your busy schedule to come and see me. I'd be honored if you came. If not, I'll see you around work.
Relena
P.S. Your Mission : Have some fun ! Will you accept this mission???
Smiling to myself, I set the letter down and walked into my bedroom to get ready for a shower.
*****
As I stood over my bed, looking at my new suit laid before me, I started to have doubts. The question kept repeating in my head over and over...leaving a feeling of dizziness and confusion. Should I go? Am I making the right decision? Is she ready? Am I ready? A hole the size of my fist was burning in my heart. If I went to this party...it would symbolize a new beginning. I'd probably tell her everything...All of my secrets would be revealed. But then again, if I let this chance slip by me...I'd hate myself for the rest of my life. There was only one choice I could make...
Twenty minutes later I had had my shower, gotten dressed, picked up my car keys, and was on my way to the car. My destination was Relena's New Years Party. My mission: To embrace my destiny, fate, and love.
*****
As I pulled up to Relena's huge mansion that was decked out with lights and streamers, I smiled to myself. Then, before I could stop myself, I started to laugh. It was all really funny really....really...it was...Here I was, the man who has saved earth and have been in many life and death circumstances...yet I was afraid to walk into a party, hosted by the one person who cared about me the most.
"The irony of it all...I can't take it...hehehe..." I chuckled to myself, looking up at the house. A few minutes later I had myself under control, and reality sunk in. My features had changed from relaxed and indifferent to nervous and jumpy. Just as I gathered up enough courage to take a step, something smacked me hard against the back. Immediately switching into combat mode, I dropped to the ground and rolled a couple of feet to the side. When I reached for my gun and remembered that I didn't carry one anymore, I looked up. There stood a smiling and gloating Duo. Mumbling to myself, I pushed myself off the ground and dusted my suit off.
"Hey Heero! A little uptight tonight now, aren't we?" he said in an annoying and knowing voice that made me want to smack him across the face. I grunted in response and managed to refrain from hurting him as he put his arm around my shoulder and started to drag me closer to the front door.
"C'mon Heero! We're already late!" he urged, as we got closer to the door. Finally, I decided that enough was enough. Bracing myself, I stopped dead in my tracks and Duo came slamming back into me, and fell to the ground.
"Owwww......Hey!" he whined up to me, giving me a hurt look. I looked down at him, and then offered my hand.
"Sorry," I mumbled, wondering where Relena was at this moment.
"Um...thanks..." he said cautiously before taking my hand and getting up. "Um...Heero?" I looked over at him and was surprised at what I saw in his face. It was understanding. "I know you're worried Heero...but don't be. She won't disappoint you." I looked at him in shock, and then nodded my head, a miniature smile on my face.
"Thanks....thanks," I said, as we walked the rest of the way towards the house.
Taking a deep breath, I reached for the door knob and we walked in. Tonight was the night I would see her...and tell her the truth. The house was filled with guests from all over the world. There were important politicians, world leaders, soldiers, and government officials. There were also family and friends of Relena. I quickly remembered how Relena had addressed my invitation with the word "friend."
As I looked around I saw Duo heading towards the dining room.
"Probably off to find Hildie," I mused, wondering what they were going to do tonight. After thinking about it, I decided I didn't want to know. Anyway, I had a mission to complete, and Relena had to be somewhere in the house. As I walked around quietly, I saw no sign of her. Every now and then a familiar face would show up, but no one talked long. Quatre and Trowa were hanging out by the TV report, Duo and Hildie were by the refreshment tables, and Sally was over near a locked door, pleading for Wufei to come out. As I walked through swarms of the drunk and laughing people surrounding me, I came to a conclusion. I was never going to go to another New Years party again. It was impossible to find her in this crowd! Finally, getting fed up with it all, I decided I needed to bail. When I spotted a balcony I sighed with relief, and headed outside.
"Thank you, some fresh air," I said as the cool night air hit me. Then, looking ahead of me, I saw Relena. She was looking up at the bright and twinkling stars, and the beauty that she held made my heart stop. Unfortunately, this also made me drop my champagne glass. She quickly turned around, but when she saw me her features switched from alarm to joy. She ran towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her small frame up to mine. My first instinct was to push her away, or even to threaten her life...Then I remembered that the war was over. There was no need for coldness and cruelty any longer. My life wasn't being threatened and she would not get hurt. I could be with her without worry that my death would bring her sorrow.
"Heero...You came! I wanted to start the New Year off with you." she whispered to me in an excited voice. I didn't notice that I was trembling, so when I fell to my knees I was surprised. Relena knelt beside me with worry written all over her face. She was so close...I had never dared to get this close to her before. Unconsciously, I had an unemotional blank expression on my face, and when she got up to walk away, I realized this. I couldn't let her leave! This was my chance.
*Baby, please try to forgive me*
*Stay here, don't put out the glow*
*Hold me now, don't bother*
*If every minute it makes me weaker*
*You can save me from the man that I've become*
I reached up and grabbed her arm before she could take three steps. She looked down at me with surprise...And with HOPE. I got up, and walked directly in front of her, looking into her eyes.
"Relena, I've become cold and bitter. The war has had its effects on me. I fought for the people of earth, and the people of the colonies...But at the same time I pushed your heart away. I didn't want you to get hurt...You have to believe me. My life was so dangerous, and any contact with me could be life threatening to you...Even then, you had an effect on me. Different from the war's effect, for your presence brought out my goodness...not the quality needed on the battlefield. You moved a piece of my heart, making me weak in battle...At least in my eyes. But...I don't care any more. I just don't care. Please, forgive me."
*Lookin' back on the things I've done*
*I was tryin' to be someone*
*Play my part, And kept you in the dark*
*Now let me show you the shape of my heart*
She starred at me, disbelief strongly written in her soft angelic features. She was silent for a moment, but when the shock wore off I saw wholesome tears of joy coming to her eyes.
"Heero...You don't know how long I've waited...How many times I've cried...The sadness I felt..."
"It was so hard," I said to her as I put my hand over her, and we interlocked our fingers. "The loneliness that came with the title 'Perfect Soldier' held such pain. During the war, there was also a war inside of me...But the soldier had won, and taken me to a life of fighting and death. I'm sorry I didn't fight harder...I should have fought the title of the 'Perfect Soldier'...I should have."
*Sadness is beautiful*
*Loneliness is tragical*
*So help me, I can't win this war, oh no*
*Touch me now, don't bother*
*If every minute it makes me weaker*
*You can save me from the man that I've become*
I pulled Relena towards me and we wrapped our arms around each other. Then, I whispered in her ear...
"I pushed you away before so I could be a 'Perfect Soldier,' but the war is over now. Will you...Can you...forgive me?"
*Lookin' back on the things I've done*
*I was tryin' to be someone*
*Play my part, And kept you in the dark*
* Now let me show you the shape of my heart*
I pulled her a step away from me and looked into her eyes. Many emotions reflected out of them...caution, excitement, wonder, and...love? Please Relena...Don't disappoint me. You have every reason to, but please...
"I've kept secrets from you Relena...but the war is over now. Safety is all around us. I wasn't sure what secret I wanted to tell you first, so I decided that this would be the first thing." Then, I slowly leaned forward and drew her towards me. Our lips met...
*I'm here with my confession*
*Got Nothing to hide no more*
*I don't know where to star*
*But to show you the shape of my heart*
I slowly drew away and searched her eyes with mine. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were opened wide. I then realized that it was probably her first kiss. I know it was mine.
"I promise not to keep anything form you any more...just please...forgive me."
"Do you promise?" she asked innocently.
"Yes," I replied. "With all my heart."
*I'm lookin' back on the things I've done*
*I never wanna play the same old part*
*Keep you in the dark*
*Now let me show you the shape of my heart*
Like a magnet we were pulled closer and closer together. As we shared our second blissful kiss, shouts from the inside drifted towards us.
10...
9...
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
!Happy New Year!
It suddenly wasn't cold on the balcony anymore. When we broke apart I heard the sound of celebration from inside. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was 12:00, and I looked back up at Relena. "I wanted to start the New Year off with you." I remembered Relena saying, when she first saw me.
"Relena...It's 12:00. We did start off the New Year with each other," I whispered in her ear.
"My dream has come true," she whispered back, as we leaned towards each other for another heavenly kiss.
1 Year Later
I looked with annoyance over at Relena. I couldn't believe that she had talked me into coming to her New Years party! There were important politicians, world leaders, soldiers, government officials, family, and friends. Just a year ago I had vowed never to go to a New Years party ever again...And here I was! I glanced over at Relena again and saw her showing off her beautiful diamond engagement ring. Two seconds later she was bouncing up to me with excitement. The countdown would be starting soon. Still having some of my perfect soldier traits, I gave her a hard glare...But my eyes softened at the sight of her. She was so beautiful...
10...
9...
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
"Happy New Year!" Everyone shouted. Except, that is, for us. We were welcoming the New Year with a long and sweet kiss.
*Show you the shape of my heart*