Konosuba RE: Love Letter Iris
Preface
This fan fiction is a "what if" wish fulfillment story that explores the possibility of Iris as a
romantic interest. You'll want to have read up to at least volume 11 of the official light novel to
fully appreciate this story. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
"Alright! Iris, do you want to go with me visit my country?"
I asked Iris. She gave me a perplexed look when I suddenly sprung the question at her.
"Onii-sama, how do you mean?"
"It's just as I said. Let's go to Japan right now. I have this device that will teleport us back to my country. It's just for 12 hours though and we'll lose our memories once we come back, but if we go now while it's early evening, we should arrive back in the morning without anybody noticing we were gone. Just keep this between us though, alright?."
We were in Iris' bedroom, and before we could chat the night away, I suddenly remembered I still had Wiz's teleportation device. I was planning to use it right away as soon as I bought it from her to take care of some unfinished business back at home, but figured I'd rather not babysit my party while we were there. Instead, I clung to the hope of maybe inviting Luna Onee-san from the guild staff/reception out on a date with this someday. It's been pretty troublesome, but now that things have mellowed down I finally found the time to use this.
Iris paused to consider, though her eyes were gleaming with excitement.
"Onii-sama, can we really go there? If we can't remember it, can we at least bring back a souvenir as a memento?"
"...sorry, I neglected to ask Wiz if we'd be able to do that. Can't hurt to try though right?"
Without any more prelude, I motioned to open the box as we sat beside each other in her room.
"Onii-sama, this is...!"
Amazed by what she saw, she looked up to the sky as the buildings before her stretched to the heavens. Rows upon rows of buildings fit for kings, stretching to the horizon for as as far as the eye could see.
As her eyes returned to the earth, Iris found the the city was bustling with life, and metal-like objects were running at superhuman speed. Titan-like humans were talking on top of the buildings, like gods preaching to their believers. Spirits of light passed by from building to building, changing every color of the rainbow as they passed by. She couldn't help but turn her head at every little thing, trying to take everything in as the chaotic scenery before her held her breath. fascinated, worried, and dizzy, she lost her footing and would clumsily fall on her behind.
Or so she would, if not for her beloved Onii-chan. This is exactly the chance I was waiting for! Figure it out already!
I caught Iris' back and patted her head. "Really, along with the occasional ditzyness of a sheltered girl, you can be clumsy at times too".
"Onii-sama...!"
Iris' face flushed from her cheeks to her ears. A smile betrayed my face before I quickly dashed it away. Now that there's nobody to call me loli-neet you think I'd stop here?!
"Iris, what's wrong? do you have a fever?" I placed the temple of my head on hers to check her temperature. If you can't find chad-like situations, you gotta make them!
"WAWAWAWAWA" Iris overloaded under my arms. It was a critical hit.
Officer, I can explain.
As I held Iris in my arms, my thoughts raced back to how she readily accepted an engagement with a prince just to curry favor and establish diplomacy with an allied country. Would she do this again for the similar reasons? Won't she turn into a beautiful woman when she gets older and eventually ask me, her beloved Onii-chan, to marry her? Or would she marry the person who ends up defeating the demon king as a reward even if it's not me? I can't accept it! I won't accept it! If I want her to ask me to marry her one day, I have to strike preemptively and confirm her feelings for me here. I'm fairly confident that she likes me, I just have to give her a push in the right direction. I have home field advantage too so I can definitely impress her here. I've decided! Iris-with my smooth moves and suave lady killer lines- you will confess to me before the end of the day! You can't brand me a lolicon if it's the loli that falls for me instead right? All I'm doing is above board!
I brought a dazed Iris inside a cafe and ordered a parfait to share to calm her down. She was looking at me absentmindedly with flushed cheeks as we waited for our order. The cafe was lively, and business was booming especially at this time of year.
I waved my hand into the space her eyes drifted to.
"Hello, earth to Iris. You still there?"
"Huh? Oh! Onii-sama, where are we? what are we doing here?"
You'd think I drugged her. No Officer, it's not what it looks like.
"Were in a cafe. It's a restaurant that serves light meals and drinks. Since we left the castle in the evening, you could say this would be our midnight snack?"
"midnight snack?" she repeated as she composed herself.
"Yea. Back when I was a kid I'd often sneak into the night and grab a cup full of ice cream, a staple dessert after dinner here in Japan. Though as of late instead I'll sneak into Aqua's room and have a chug at her prized liquor. I'd replace it with the cheap stuff too, and she's none the wiser to this day."
"Onii-sama's still a kid."
"Oi."
Iris had a hearty laugh as we talked. The once composed, collected, and reserved princess was no where to be found. It felt liberating to see her no longer suppress her laughter into a giggle. Though a giggling Iris was still cute, you know?
"Here's your order, customer-sama. One chocolate parfait"
"Onii-sama what is this!?"
Iris' eyes gleamed once more at the marvel of a finely crafted chocolate parfait as though she was looking at a masterpiece.
"It's a parfait, Iris. It's similar to the ice cream I told you about, but with several layers for a richer taste. Have at it and enjoy."
"Ah, but it looks so beautiful. It'd be a shame to ruin it if I took a scoop out of it."
"Some things become more beautiful when you mess them up you know?"
We both looked at each other for some time. She looked into my eyes as if searching for an answer.
"...?"
"..."
"ah...!"
We both had to turn away from that one.
"a-anyway, taste it already Iris, before it melts away."
"ah, um, yea!"
Iris scooped herself a portion and gulped.
"Onii-sama, this is so good! It's delicious! You have to try this! I've never had this before!"
"If you eat a larger serving in quick succession, it'll taste better."
"Really? Then don't mind if I do!"
She banged on the table and squeezed my hand while covering her mouth.
"Onii-sama...!"
"Iris, you know you shouldn't talk while your mouth is full. You're a princess, you ought to have more manners than that."
"I'll get you for this some day! It hurts...but it's so good"
Iris started making moaning noises as she ate through the parfait in glee and pain.
"Oi stop it! don't make those sensual noises while saying such easily misunderstand-able lines! People are staring at us!"
"Onii-sama, are you not gonna have any? It's really good."
"You've already eaten through most of it though"
"Oh! I'm really sorry! I was so caught up with how good it was I forgot you hadn't eaten any!"
"...Will you forgive me?"
She said with a smile befitting her age.
...Isn't she cute?
However! I won't forgive you easily just cause you're charming!
"Iris, if you want me to forgive you, there is something you could do for me..."
Iris tilted her head inquisitively.
"What is it, Nii-sama?"
"let's feed each other."
"what?"
"I'm saying let's feed each other. I want to experience those "aah" situations couples always do when they feed each other. Come on, here, say "aaah""
I scooped a portion of the leftover parfait and motioned to feed Iris.
"Onii-sama what are you-"
Before she could finish, I fed her a spoonful of parfait.
Her cheeks were flushed as she tried to resist at first, before gulping it down. She was raggedly breathing when I removed the spoon from her mouth.
"Onii-sama..."
She was looking at me with a vacant gaze and flushed cheeks as she called out to me.
I gulped.
This is bad.
My little sister can't be this cute!
I hadn't noticed that my jaw was gaping, and before I could compose myself-
"You're wide open!"
Iris jammed a spoonful of parfait into my mouth and I choked on it. My head hurt from brain freeze as I grabbed my head in pain.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah"
"Fufufu- Onii-sama's still a kid. Revenge complete!"
"Onii-sama look at this! Someone's making art of the snow falling from the sky. The figures are so intricate, I wonder if this is how Eris-sama spends her time in the winter. But I've never seen snow fall from the sky like this back at the fortress."
"Iris, those are called snowflakes. Those patterns on the snowflakes occur naturally, though if you asked me I wouldn't know why."
We walked in the cold winter as Iris ran past me, catching the snowflakes along the way.
It was winter in Japan, and Christmas lights were already being displayed in shops around us along with other festive paraphernalia. Iris thought this to be the most blessed country, being surrounded by the glow of spirits, beings that would normally be wary of humans. Mean while, the digital billboards she called the titans celebrated in a festive cheer along side humans and Eris-sama herself would craft intricately designed snow and let them fall to the earth to spread her blessings across the nation. The bullet train- metal-like creatures she called mini destroyers were docile in this country, tamed by beast-masters- who, for a small fee, would provide transportation with unparalleled speed and comfort. There was even flying destroyers that would make a thunderous sound as loud as they were ominously imposing. She could not see this country being challenged by the demon lord himself, with such an amalgamation of power present.
Well, she's not wrong on the last account at least. I told her about the history of this country- not just that, but of this world as well. There was no reason to hide the fact that this is another world anymore. I told her about the world war. I told her that powerful nations across the sea possessed explosion magic with a large enough radius to level entire cities- and that even 2 of the cities here were devastated by such magic. I told her that the military possessed archers that could use the skill snipe from 3,000 meters with deadly accuracy, with enough firepower to pierce through the destroyer back in her world. I told her of men falling from the sky, as though through levitation- could easily infiltrate the demon lord's castle.
Iris' eye glistened as she listened to all this, with respect and awe for the other world she never knew about. Looking at her, I envy her leisurely other world adventure. I got a useless goddess for a cheat, I stayed and froze over in the stables, and had to clear an enormous debt. Where's the justice?
"Onii-sama, don't you regret it?"
"huh?"
"coming over to our world, I mean. I get that Onii-sama can't go back to this world as he pleases, and life seems so much more comfortable here. I was happy and envious when you said that children my age ran cafes like the one we visited just for fun. If I were to have a second lease at life, I wouldn't mind being reborn as your little sister here."
Iris continued-
"Don't you ever feel like going back home?"
I felt Iris asked that question wistfully, as though she'd find a way to send me back home, even if it meant we'd no longer see each other again. I was moved by how thoughtful she was, despite her age.
However, as her beloved Onii-chan, I won't allow her to entertain such depressing thoughts any further!
I hugged Iris in the cold snow and reassured her.
He shoots-
"Iris, whether it's Japan or Belzerg, or another world we've never seen before, I'll always feel at home if you're there to welcome me."
He scoreeeeeeeeees! Playaaaaaaaaaaah! moshi moshi? keisatsu desu ka? (Hello? Is this the police?) I'm calling to turn myself in cause I'm a smooth criminal.
I could not see the face Iris was making as I hugged her, but I felt her small hands tremble on my back. I felt the gentle warmth of her body as the snowflakes fell around us. Ah, I wished that this would last forever.
"Thank you, Onii-sama."
We took a bullet train to Akihabara. The excitable Iris was unusually quiet, and held on to my sleeve with a pinch. Despite the atmosphere, at least it was appropriate, as everybody in the train was quiet. I would occasionally steal glances at Iris, and she'd catch my eye on her and offer a gentle smile in return.
...Isn't she cute?
We got off the station and when we arrived, Iris returned to her gleeful demeanor when she saw the city.
"Onii-sama, this place is much livelier than the town from earlier. What are we gonna do here?'
"There's a place I wanted us to visit since I had a score to settle with you."
"Oh?"
We stopped at a game center.
"You Win!"
You're in my territory now.
"You win!"
Bitch.
"You win!"
"Onii-sama this is fun!"
So why.
"You win!"
Why are you so.
"You win!"
Why are you so much better at this game!?
"You win!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH Iris give it back, give back my dignity as a Nee - No, as a man!"
"Ehhh, Onii-sama, you should be more familiar the games here than I am. Are you sure you're not losing on purpose? I'm just mashing buttons randomly you know?"
I could feel the stupid grin she made behind the arcade machine opposite to me from here when she said that bare faced lie.
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up you cheeky brat! You're just lucky!"
"I don't want to hear that from someone who consecutively won at the casino enough to secure the national defense budget!"
I managed to dominate at first. But as soon as she got accustomed to the controls, she snowballed win after win. To preserve my dignity, I settled the score at even from the wins I snagged from when she was adjusting. I refused to play another round to break the tie.
After that, me and Iris ended up playing luck based games like the claw crane machine, and Red Hot Ball Drop Jackpot. I got several looks of suspicion and doubt from the staff for hitting jackpot so often. I felt like some of the staff tried to throw us out already, only to be thwarted by Iris' irresistible smile as she greeted their approach.
...like I said, isn't she cute?
We won lots of prizes from the enormous amounts of tickets we exchanged, but we had to carry them with us until the effect of the teleportaion device wore off and we were sent back.
Even though our hands were already full, something caught my eye- a gacha capsule machine.
Iris leaned over to see what the prizes were.
"Onii-sama what's that?"
She pointed at a model weapon.
"That's a miniature toy model of a weapon called a grenade launcher- It's a weapon that allows you to cast long range explosion magic consecutively without chanting or using up any mana. You can fire off plastic rounds with the toy model too. Ah but don't expect anything fancy, it's just a model after all."
Her eyes shined with excitement.
"Onii-sama can you get that for me? I feel like any of the prizes would be fine since all of them look so cool, but this one in particular I'd love to show to Megumin. Additionally I get the feeling Claire would confiscate most of the stuff we got, so I'd love to have something small I can hide, like the ring you got me."
"Sure, but do you want to go to the toilet for now? We'll be lugging around all this stuff we won while were walking until the teleportaion wears off, so if you gotta go I'd say do it now"
I pointed her towards the ladies room.
When she left, I bought her the gacha she wanted, and then one other thing I didn't want her to see.
When we exited the game center, our luck ran out as a rouge blizzard came upon us. We took shelter at the roof of the facade of one of the buildings, while most stores near us were packed to the brim as people tried to take shelter from the blizzard.
"Onii-sama I can't see through the snow! We can't stay here, and it's getting hard to carry all of these prizes. It's ok even if we leave these behind and just keep the gacha instead! We can find shelter in one of the shops that way!"
I didn't want to leave behind all the prizes we won. They were gonna be mementos of Japan after all once we leave this place. I also didn't want to huddle up with people in a random shop as we weathered the storm. There was one last thing I wanted to do with Iris.
I looked around for a place to take refuge from the blizzard. I look behind me to see if the establishment would let us in for now.
"There it is!"
I exclaimed.
It was a love hotel.
Love hotels here have very limited interaction with staff and reception as people valued discretion when visiting these places. The receptionist will usually never get to see your face, you use a touch screen TV to select your room and pay when you leave. And on the off chance that they do, I could just explain to them that we visited here in a hurry to get shelter from the blizzard.
This was perfect.
I selected one of the more fancy rooms, and selected a stay for more hours than the time we had left before our time here was up. We'd never have to actually pay for the stay and food.
I've seen documentary videos on these places. The theme rooms they had were pretty amazing, you know? I've always been somewhat interested in visiting one just for fun, but it'd be too sad to just go there on your own, you know? Ah but it's not like I see Iris that way yet, alright? I just thought me and Iris will never be able to do this again, alright? I didn't go here because I thought "Iris in a school girl uniform would be great" okay? It just can't be helped that our clothes are soaked and Iris would need to change into a school girl uniform while I dry our clothes right? It can't be helped, nothing to be done about it!
We entered the room we selected from the touchscreen. Both me and Iris gasped in amazement when we saw the room.
It was a crazy elaborate room with a second floor staircase that had low headroom/ceiling leading up to who knows where. Low hanging decorative light bulbs hanged from the center of the room. Beneath the staircase was the bedroom floor- It had a widescreen T.V., bean bags, plush goats, pandas, geese, and ducks for whatever reason. Finally, there was a padded circular trench or "peeping hole" in the ground at the center of the room- where you could entrench yourself inside while facing the bathroom, which had an untinted glass door.
Iris was ecstatic and went ahead to play inside the trench and gently held the light artifacts in her hand. Then she sat on one of the beanbags in the bedroom while grabbing and hugging one of each plush toy there. Then she crawled upstairs while holding on to the plush toys, full of curiosity as to where it might lead.
She was like Alice in wonderland.
"Onii-sama! come over here, you should see this!"
The childish side of Iris was just too cute, you know?
I crawled upstairs to find Iris in a small but adequately lit room, packed with plush animals that Iris used as a cushion to lay on top off.
I laid down with Iris, who was still clutching to the plush toys as we both looked at the ceiling one meter away from our faces. I looked to my side to see Iris' face starry eyed. Crawling into small spaces and claiming hideouts like a tree house was every boy's child-at-heart dream. I was too happy inside to see Iris living that dream, having a proper adventure in another world.
A growl came from both of our stomachs. We looked at each other and laughed.
"Iris, I'll have someone deliver food to our room. Come downstairs once I've finished preparing the bath for you. I'll dry your clothes while you take a bath, and give you a change of clothes once you're done."
"Alright, Onii-chan."
I leveled up. That was a proper Onii-chan moment right there.
Instead of calling up room service, there'd be a digital device that'd let you order through a menu.
I ordered a change of clothes and more food than we'd be able to eat.
"Iris, come downstairs the bath's ready."
She promptly came downstairs and gasped in wonder at what she saw.
"Onii-chan what is this?! It's so beautiful! And it smells so fragrant too! Is this a scented bath? Even among nobles scented bath salts were an expensive luxury!"
The bathroom was just as equally mental. This was a rare opportunity, so I pulled out all the stops-I prepared a hot bubble bath and turned on the jacuzzi feature. I dimmed the lights inside the bathroom, and the lights shined from beneath the bathtub, illuminating in a breathing pattern and changing colors of the rainbow. There was a T.V. you could watch in front of you as lied down in the bathtub- so I turned that on too for Iris to watch anime.
I stepped out of the bathroom so Iris could enjoy herself. Even in another world, she gets to enjoy the royal treatment.
"aaaaaah Onii-chan, this is too nice. It feels too good, the bubbles are melting me away!"
She continued-
"Onii-chan are you sure you don't want to go back to Japan? I know you said such a sweet line to me, but I'd scarce wonder how you could resist such comfort. I wouldn't hold it against you, you know?"
There was a knock on the door, it was room service.
I opened the hatch on the door as to discreetly receive our order, without revealing our faces. she didn't ask too many questions and left.
This was the best.
"Iris, food's here and I'll give you your change of clothes once you're done, I'll dry your clothes in the meantime".
An hour passed.
I knocked on the glass door, careful not to steal a glance inside.
"Iris, are you done yet?"
No response.
Iris must've slept in the bath. We came here in the night and haven't slept since then after all. I'll have to dry her and clothe her and put her to bed. I guess I'm a proper Onii-chan now huh?
"Iris, I'm coming in."
"Onii-chan..."
She looked at me with teary eyes. She was engrossed watching a romance movie. It was a modern twist to the classic Romeo and Juliet, where Romeo was merely a commoner pining for the noble lady Juliet. Just like the classic, the movie ends on a tragic note with both lovers taking their lives.
"Onii-chan, isn't this the role reversal of what you referred to as "princess carrying" that happened in your guild which eventually led to it's disbandment?"
"hmm it's not really like that, but yea. when you use your power as authority to favor someone who hasn't properly risen in rank, especially for personal reasons such as love- it sows discord within the seats of power, and in our case it got so bad it led to the guild's disbandment. Well, at least nobody died right?"
I died inside though. And soon after, quite literally.
Iris pondered on this heavily as she hugged her legs in the tub.
I placed a small towel over her head.
"Don't think too much about this, Iris. I'll leave your change of clothes here. After you're done changing let's eat."
"...okay."
I left to make my own preparations.
"Onii-chan what is this?! Wait, why are you kneeling?"
Iris looked beautiful in a bridal dress as she stepped out of the bathroom. Not to be one up-ed, I dressed for the occassion in a tuxedo.
"Belzerg Stylish Sword Iris."
"..."
"Will you marry me?"
I took out a gachapon capsule and opened it to reveal a toy ring. My heart was beating like crazy. Time was running out and I needed to know how she felt about me.
A moment of silence.
"Onii-sama, why?"
I couldn't look at her straight. I felt droplets of sweat run down my face. I felt like my heart could explode at any moment.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't buy you a proper ring again. I didn't have a lot of money on me as we left for Japan, and even if I did, there'd be no way to suprise you since you were with me the whole day. It was only when you left for the bathroom back at the game center that I had an opportunity to sneak this in."
"NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M ASKING! DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THIS!"
She screamed at me.
I was afraid to see what kind of face she was making.
I couldn't look at her.
I want to cry.
I felt numb.
I knew it.
Somewhere in my heart, was a room full of doubt I chose to ignore. I ignored it because no matter what happened here, I'll still be her beloved Onii-chan at the end of the day, once we return and forgot about all this. Now I know for sure that's all she'll ever see me as. Still, it hurts like hell. I couldn't bear to listen to what she had to say anymore. My ears were ringing.
I guess she'd be the second "princess" to reject me. I should have learned the first time. I'm such an idiot. The thought that I'd have to go through this again eventually, horrified me to the core. There's no doubt in my mind that even after my memories here get wiped, I'd still fall in love with Iris all over again and make the same mistake.
Some time had passed.
I looked up to find that the gashapon capsule was no longer in my hands. Iris placed the ring in her finger and covered her mouth, crying tears as she looked at the ring.
"Onii-sama...why?"
she continued-
"Of all the times you could have proposed, why now? Onii-sama, I don't ever want to forget about your first confession of love to me, especially a proposal!"
Did I misunderstand?
"Wait Iris, does that mean you're not rejecting me? Wouldn't you just be married off to whoever defeated the demon king?"
Iris grabbed me by the collar with both hands while I was kneeling. She was fuming!
"Stupid Onii-sama! If I wanted to reject Onii-sama, I would have asked for the ring Onii-sama stole from me back! I was banking on the chance that Onii-sama would defeat the demon king someday since he already has a good track record of defeating the demon king generals. Given the chance, I'd join Onii-sama's party and defeat the demon king myself and give the credit to Onii-sama! This way, I'd avoid a national scandal, and even if some other schmuck like Mitsurugi managed to defeat the demon king instead, I could use the absence of my ring to indefinitely delay our marriage. We could maintain an illicit relationship anyway or if Onii-sama wanted, we could have eloped together just like in Keele's story! I would have protected Onii-sama from the entire kingdom with all my might if I had to! I just didn't say anything cause I thought Onii-sama was still too busy flirting with other women and didn't see me as a woman yet!"
I was speechless.
She really said schmuck. Who's Misurugi?
More importantly, who is this girl? This is bad. Even though she's like another person when she's mad like this, I still find her incredibly adorable.
"God damn it, this pisses me off. Despite everything I'm still really happy that Onii-sama proposed to me. aaaaaaaah what should I do? Even after proposing to me, Onii-sama's just gonna go back to flirting with other women when we lose our memories won't he?"
I subconsciously patted Iris' head. Ah.
She let go of her grip on my collar and grabbed my hand and took it away from her head and into her palm. I was expecting to get told off some more, but instead she rested her other hand above mine and cleared her throat:
"Onii-sama. No- Satou Kazuma. I would be elated, more than happy, to be your wife. I didn't need all this pampering for you to win me over. I was already in love with you."
As if I couldn't fall for her any further, she continued-
"It can't be helped. I'll place my faith in Onii-sama once more. Onii-sama can flirt with other women once we come back, but Onii-sama has to end up with me in the end ok?"
Angel! She's an angel!
Iris gave me a hug and playfully whispered to my ear:
"For now, I'll gladly play along with Onii-sama and be Onii-sama's dear little sister, okay?"
...
"Onii-chan."
I've never wanted to push a girl down and go down on her in my life more than I have now.
After eating, me and Iris talked for hours while lying in bed as we held hands. We tried to get to know more about each other, even if we'd forget all of this once time was up. We were delirious from lack of sleep and would say anything that came to mind.
"And that's the story of my pathetic life- and death- here in Japan. I've laid it all bare for you to see Iris."
Iris has kept quiet and listened to me intently as I "honestly" retold my life here in Japan this time.
"I'm pitiful, aren't I?"
...
"It's okay to laugh, you know?"
I'm tried to pass off my self-depreciation as a joke.
...
"Actually just staying silent like that is depressing me please spare me Iris-sama!"
She sighed.
"While I'd normally laugh, especially with the way you died, I just haven't felt like laughing for some reason. I guess it's because I'm struggling to stay awake. If I'm gonna forget all of this, then I want to keep remembering for as long as possible. You made me the happiest woman when you proposed to me you know? So take responsibility and stay awake with me till this is over!"
"Iris, there's better ways to keep a woman awake all night, you know?"
perhaps out of deliriousness, Iris had forgone her shame as a woman and said-
"Onii-sama, I'm already your woman. If you wanted to do it with me right now I'll gladly oblige."
Iris said something incredible just now.
"Oh? then don't mind if I do!"
I pushed Iris down on the bed and got on top of her. Officer, there's nothing to explain. It's exactly what it looks like.
I think officer Eris-sama must've been watching us, cause as soon as I steeled my resolve, our bodies started disappearing. It was time.
"Pfft...Hahahaha, now that made me laugh! Onii-sama better luck next time in another 6 years! I'll be your ideal woman then!"
Ah. Of all the things Iris could've laughed at, it had to be this. I wanna cry.
Epilogue
Me and Iris stared intently at the box as I opened it.
Huh?
Nothing happened.
Iris tugged on my sleeve.
"Onii-sama, actually I feel really tired tonight. Can we just do this some other time?"
A wave of drowsiness hit me as she said that, as if her just saying that reminded my body that I wanted sleep.
"o-okay. Good night, Iris."
I felt like I wanted to say something more, but I'm too sleepy to think about it. I'll probably remember it in the morning. I closed Iris' door behind me and left.
Iris was about to fall asleep on her bed, but she felt the ring Kazuma gave her in her finger. She motioned to remove it and hide it in the usual spot but her eyes widened as she saw that the ring she wanted to hide was already there. She looked at the ring that was still in her finger. Was it the ring that got stolen? no-
"Iris-sama, what is that ring you're wearing? I've come to wake you up."
It was Claire, standing behind me, who leaned to inspect the ring on my finger.
...Wake me up? Am I dreaming?
"Iris-sama, what are you doing placing such a cheap ring on your finger? As royalty, what would the nobles think if they saw you wearing this ring? You're going to cause unnecessary rumors. I'm confiscating this."
As Claire motioned to remove the unfamiliar ring from my finger, I simply looked at it without offering resistance. I won't acknowledge any ring, except the one Onii-sama gave me.
Claire stopped.
Claire looked at me with a worried expression.
"Iris-sama, are you okay?"
Eh?
I felt something damp travel across both of my cheeks.
What is this?
Claire was getting too blurry for my eyes to see her expression.
I could scarce pay attention to what she was saying.
I knew she was worried about me, but I wanted to tell her I was fine.
I was tired, but I felt really happy actually.
But I couldn't tell her that, cause I was getting too choked up to speak.
I wiped away the morning tears in my cheeks, I must've just woken up.
See Claire? There's no need to worry.
I must be feeling happy from a dream I can't seem to remember, Claire.
It was a wonderful dream.
Maybe if I sleep some more, I'll remember it when I wake up again.
I'm sorry Claire, I know you'll keep trying to wake me up, but I don't think I can give up on my dream just yet.
-End
Afterword
I wanted to write the ending of this fan fiction with the intent of making it a "lost in time"
story- a story that would have significantly altered the events moving forward in a certain
direction- attempting to wrestle the narrative away from it's author-
but due to the circumstances of this story, will ultimately go back to the course that the light
novel author intended to charter. It's meant to leave a vague sense of regretful longing for the
"what if" and inspire hope that the light novel author would loosely support the events that
transpired here, even if there is no official acknowledgement of it's existence.
If you wanted to see the visual setting I used for the love hotel, you can watch this YouTube video:
watch?v=IXgX_r-x-XE
The reference I used for the bathroom was featured at 4:59.
The reference I used for the room was featured at 6:38
I had other ideas, like a punk scene where a pair of degenerates try to kidnap Iris, Kazuma being
completely helpless and on the verge of tears; Only for the punks to be destroyed by Iris' fancy
martial arts and for her to end up emotionally supporting a traumatized Kazuma in an ironic
role reversal twist. Maybe a scene where Iris would try her hand at being a street performer,
quickly gaining a talent for instruments and busking enough money to participate in a legendary
illegal street race against the Yakuza- with Iris at the helm and Kazuma riding shotgun Initial D
style- the pair goes on a bizarre adventure as they bet everything on the line to settle a score
with a mafia boss they inadvertently messed with that all started when Iris did a beat down on
those mob characters.
Eventually Kazuma ends up winning the heart of the mafia boss' daughter that sends Iris
on a thinly veiled jealous frenzy over Kazuma's shotgun marriage. The story reaches it's finale
turning point, as Iris does the unthinkable and amasses a fortune and gate crashes the wedding!
Armed to the teeth with guns, grenades and guns for hire to follow, Iris rescues and reunites
with Kazuma; But before the Mafia boss could retaliate, Iris throws a duffel bag at him-
filled with cold hard cash worth 2 billion yen- as peace offering to let Kazuma go.
Kazuma protests, only to understandably meet the ire of Iris and shuts up.
Kazuma and Iris share one last sunset together as they held hands before they were sent back
and lost their memories, yet still Kazuma is reluctant to confess his feelings for Iris after all
(mostly Iris) they've been through! Iris, understandably impatient at this point, takes the lead
and kisses kazuma before the falling sunset!
(sadly there's not enough time in the story to develop this. I'll try to find a reason to do this someday.)
The love hotel scene had to be the most fun part of this writing endeavor, with potential for a
lot more hilarious moments than I included- such as Iris blowing up condoms or playing with a
dildo, much to kazuma's embarrasment; Or Iris discovering an escort magazine that featured
busty Onee-sans that kazuma liked so much, with an "amateur/newly wed wife" motif which
would lead to kazuma having a heart-to-heart to talk with Iris about ideal wife preferences.
In the end, I went with the "clean" route, which I reckon was just as equally entertaining as it
was heartwarming to me.