I just got the news a few minutes ago.
Tomo died earlier today at the hands of Suboshi. My advisor didn't bother to go into details, just that he was found dead a few minutes ago, a hole in his chest where Suboshi's weapon had run him through. After the discussion of what to do with the body, he asked how I felt about losing yet another Seishi.
I didn't bother to answer. How am I supposed to feel about it? I'm angry, of course, we're down another man, the Suzaku Seishi are getting stronger every day...at this rate we're never going to win the war.
But other than that? I don't feel anything. All we've lost is one of the more powerful warriors. It's not like I had an emotional attachment to Tomo, right?
An image flashes through my mind...no, a memory.
I brush it off. Whatever happened between us was in the past, dead and buried. He was nothing more to me than my most trusted warrior, and that's it. Friends, lovers, brothers-in-arms...I have no need for such trivial sentiments.
Lord Nakago.
I storm off to my bedroom and bolt the door shut behind me, not listening as the advisor calls after me. I need to be alone, I don't want to think about him anymore. But it won't go away, the image of the Ryuuseisui tearing through his chest forms in my mind's eye. Part of me wonders if he had any last words.
"I don't care," I remind myself.
Forgive me, Nakago. He would say something like that, wouldn't he? But forgive him for what? Failing miserably? Being an idiot and getting himself killed by an insolent fifteen-year-old boy?
He had so much potential and in the end he was foolish and overconfident. I'm sorry, Tomo, my mind whispers, and I pound the bed with my fist. I've nothing to be sorry for, I wasn't responsible for his well-being. We were partners if we were anything.
"Tomo, you idiot," I mutter softly. "You just had to go and get yourself killed before I-"
I won't let myself finish that thought. There was nothing left unresolved between us. Nothing at all.
You're lying, my mind scolds as I busy myself with other things. Yes, maybe I am lying but I don't care. It's easier this way.