Originally posted on the CrowleysAngels yahoogroup.
The Revenge of the Plants (or How to Confuse Crowley)
The house was white and pristine. The Antichrist had done a good job when he put everything back the way it was before. Even the puddle of demon goop that was previously in Crowley's office door was gone. Crowley did not notice this however when he and Aziraphale walked, well, dragged themselves into Crowley's apartment. Preventing the Apocalypse was tough work, and that bottle of wine they had shared hadn't helped them either.
'Zira collapsed on the couch and Crowley walked over to his plants. They had been neglected for the past few days while Crowley had been trying to locate the Antichrist. They would be getting ideas that it was OK to grow all willy-nilly. Time to remove one. Crowley chose a potted palm that wasn't looking as perky as it normally did. His hands had just touched the pot when a flash of green blinded him and his hands were neatly secured to the pot.
"What?!" he yelled, very confused. HOW could his plants do this?
"Oh, I guess that their request made it through Heaven bureaucracy," 'Zira said in a lazy voice.
"What do you mean 'request'?" Crowley sputtered, still trying in vain to remove his hands from the mass of green leaves that entrapped them.
"Your plants were getting fed up with your behavior. I mean really Crowley; did you have to scare them that much? Anyway, they asked Heaven to grant them some powers so they could have their revenge. It looks like Heaven just gave them their powers." He shrugged. "At least the request came through after this whole Apocalypse mess, not before or even during it." 'Zira shuddered at the thought.
"And when were you planning on telling me about all of this angel?" Crowley growled, as his attempts to free himself became more aggressive.
"I guess it slipped my mind," 'Zira said, with a slight grin.
"Slipped your mind indeed," snarled Crowley. 'Zira just yawned and snuggled down in the couch, content with watching the demon. Crowley continued tugging on the vines, trying the free his hands. He was growing constantly more agitated.
"Angel!! Do something about this before I do something drastic!" Crowley screamed, his patience almost gone. 'Zira sighed and extracted himself from the couch. He crossed the room and stood by Crowley, examining the situation. Crowley's hands were trapped against the pot of the palm. Well, 'Zira assumed Crowley's hands were in the mass of green leaves and vines, he couldn't actually see the hands. Crowley was growling softly and 'Zira was sure that he was glaring, but his eyes were covered by sunglasses, as always.
'Zira suddenly had an idea. He hadn't seen Crowley's eyes in, well, centuries. And Crowley couldn't do anything to stop him currently.. 'Zira reached up slowly and removed Crowley's sunglasses. Yep, he was glaring, and not only was he glaring at the plant, he was glaring at 'Zira, in fact, he was glaring more at 'Zira then at the plant.
"So you knew about this, did you?" Crowley asked. 'Zira nodded, looking a little pleased with himself. However, he was very glad that Crowley's hands were trapped at the moment. It the demon was free, 'Zira was sure Crowley would be attacking him.
"Angel, give me back my sunglasses," Crowley said with remarkable calm. 'Zira grinned.
"You can't make me," 'Zira said. Crowley began to hiss.
"Angel," Crowley said in a voice that promised pain later on if his glasses were not returned.
"Yes?" 'Zira asked, as he leaned closer to Crowley. The demon was slightly startled at the angel's movement.
"My sunglasses," Crowley managed to say as 'Zira moved even closer. He was defiantly invading Crowley's personal space bubble now. Crowley tried to move back, but the plant held him still.
"What do I get if I give them back?" 'Zira said in a sweet voice that was terribly mismatched with the expression on his face.
"Er.." For the first time Crowley could remember, the angel had rendered him speechless.
"Ummm, I see," 'Zira murmured and moved around to block Crowley against the table. "You don't have anything to offer do you? Well, what are you going to do?" He grinned again and leaned closer to Crowley. "Think fast demon."
Crowley really tried to take 'Zria's advice, but his mind was not listing. It was more concentrating on the amazing way 'Zira's tongue felt on his ear. Then all brain function shut down as 'Zira leaned close and kissed Crowley.
'Zira had never been the forward type, but then again, he had never lived through the Apocalypse either. That is, until today. Today he had realized that his time on earth, and with Crowley could never be eternal. So he might as well make the best of it. So he did. He had always wondered what type of amazing things Crowley could do with his tongue, and now he was finding out. And he was certainly amazed.
Time seemed to stop, and for all the two divine beings knew, it really did. Time is an odd thing and always likes to do it's own thing. But after a while 'Zira drew back, leaving Crowley panting. Not that he needed to breath, but it seemed like to right thing to do.
"That was nice," 'Zira said softly. Crowley nodded, for his head was all he could really move, with his hands held by the plant and an angel pressed up against the rest of him. 'Zira gazed into Crowley's eyes for a moment and then sighed and moved back.
"It's time for me to go," he said. Crowley tried to think of something to make him stay, but his brain was still not working. 'Zira placed Crowley's sunglasses on the end table by the couch and opened the front door.
"Call me sometime," were 'Zira's departing words. He closed the door softly leaving Crowley alone with his plants. Crowley still had not quite recovered from the shock of an angel, and not just any angel, his angel, kissing him. Angels didn't know how to kiss. And they certainly didn't know how to kiss that well! Crowley replayed the scene over and over in his head, reliving every second. And then a through crawled into his mind.
"Angel! How do I get out of these damn plants?!"
End
The Revenge of the Plants (or How to Confuse Crowley)
The house was white and pristine. The Antichrist had done a good job when he put everything back the way it was before. Even the puddle of demon goop that was previously in Crowley's office door was gone. Crowley did not notice this however when he and Aziraphale walked, well, dragged themselves into Crowley's apartment. Preventing the Apocalypse was tough work, and that bottle of wine they had shared hadn't helped them either.
'Zira collapsed on the couch and Crowley walked over to his plants. They had been neglected for the past few days while Crowley had been trying to locate the Antichrist. They would be getting ideas that it was OK to grow all willy-nilly. Time to remove one. Crowley chose a potted palm that wasn't looking as perky as it normally did. His hands had just touched the pot when a flash of green blinded him and his hands were neatly secured to the pot.
"What?!" he yelled, very confused. HOW could his plants do this?
"Oh, I guess that their request made it through Heaven bureaucracy," 'Zira said in a lazy voice.
"What do you mean 'request'?" Crowley sputtered, still trying in vain to remove his hands from the mass of green leaves that entrapped them.
"Your plants were getting fed up with your behavior. I mean really Crowley; did you have to scare them that much? Anyway, they asked Heaven to grant them some powers so they could have their revenge. It looks like Heaven just gave them their powers." He shrugged. "At least the request came through after this whole Apocalypse mess, not before or even during it." 'Zira shuddered at the thought.
"And when were you planning on telling me about all of this angel?" Crowley growled, as his attempts to free himself became more aggressive.
"I guess it slipped my mind," 'Zira said, with a slight grin.
"Slipped your mind indeed," snarled Crowley. 'Zira just yawned and snuggled down in the couch, content with watching the demon. Crowley continued tugging on the vines, trying the free his hands. He was growing constantly more agitated.
"Angel!! Do something about this before I do something drastic!" Crowley screamed, his patience almost gone. 'Zira sighed and extracted himself from the couch. He crossed the room and stood by Crowley, examining the situation. Crowley's hands were trapped against the pot of the palm. Well, 'Zira assumed Crowley's hands were in the mass of green leaves and vines, he couldn't actually see the hands. Crowley was growling softly and 'Zira was sure that he was glaring, but his eyes were covered by sunglasses, as always.
'Zira suddenly had an idea. He hadn't seen Crowley's eyes in, well, centuries. And Crowley couldn't do anything to stop him currently.. 'Zira reached up slowly and removed Crowley's sunglasses. Yep, he was glaring, and not only was he glaring at the plant, he was glaring at 'Zira, in fact, he was glaring more at 'Zira then at the plant.
"So you knew about this, did you?" Crowley asked. 'Zira nodded, looking a little pleased with himself. However, he was very glad that Crowley's hands were trapped at the moment. It the demon was free, 'Zira was sure Crowley would be attacking him.
"Angel, give me back my sunglasses," Crowley said with remarkable calm. 'Zira grinned.
"You can't make me," 'Zira said. Crowley began to hiss.
"Angel," Crowley said in a voice that promised pain later on if his glasses were not returned.
"Yes?" 'Zira asked, as he leaned closer to Crowley. The demon was slightly startled at the angel's movement.
"My sunglasses," Crowley managed to say as 'Zira moved even closer. He was defiantly invading Crowley's personal space bubble now. Crowley tried to move back, but the plant held him still.
"What do I get if I give them back?" 'Zira said in a sweet voice that was terribly mismatched with the expression on his face.
"Er.." For the first time Crowley could remember, the angel had rendered him speechless.
"Ummm, I see," 'Zira murmured and moved around to block Crowley against the table. "You don't have anything to offer do you? Well, what are you going to do?" He grinned again and leaned closer to Crowley. "Think fast demon."
Crowley really tried to take 'Zria's advice, but his mind was not listing. It was more concentrating on the amazing way 'Zira's tongue felt on his ear. Then all brain function shut down as 'Zira leaned close and kissed Crowley.
'Zira had never been the forward type, but then again, he had never lived through the Apocalypse either. That is, until today. Today he had realized that his time on earth, and with Crowley could never be eternal. So he might as well make the best of it. So he did. He had always wondered what type of amazing things Crowley could do with his tongue, and now he was finding out. And he was certainly amazed.
Time seemed to stop, and for all the two divine beings knew, it really did. Time is an odd thing and always likes to do it's own thing. But after a while 'Zira drew back, leaving Crowley panting. Not that he needed to breath, but it seemed like to right thing to do.
"That was nice," 'Zira said softly. Crowley nodded, for his head was all he could really move, with his hands held by the plant and an angel pressed up against the rest of him. 'Zira gazed into Crowley's eyes for a moment and then sighed and moved back.
"It's time for me to go," he said. Crowley tried to think of something to make him stay, but his brain was still not working. 'Zira placed Crowley's sunglasses on the end table by the couch and opened the front door.
"Call me sometime," were 'Zira's departing words. He closed the door softly leaving Crowley alone with his plants. Crowley still had not quite recovered from the shock of an angel, and not just any angel, his angel, kissing him. Angels didn't know how to kiss. And they certainly didn't know how to kiss that well! Crowley replayed the scene over and over in his head, reliving every second. And then a through crawled into his mind.
"Angel! How do I get out of these damn plants?!"
End