Warnings: Slash/Bumming, I guess you could say it's PWP.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Mighty Boosh or any of its affiliates.
A/N: Again, this is not my own story, this is a role play conversation between two of my mates that I decided to convert into a fic. So don't blame me for anything, and don't blame them either.
Fitting Rooms
Vince threw another item of clothing into Howard's already overflowing arms, a smile spread across his face in excitement. Vince had somehow convinced Howard to come with him clothes shopping but now it had turned into a fiasco of getting Howard a new wardrobe.
"Oh wow, this is genius!"
Howard picked up the tight pale blue shirt and looked at it sceptically, "Vince, I don't think that's going to look any good. And I'll never in a million years wear these clothes!"
Vince frowned and moved to the side of Howard so he could see his face over the pile of unwanted clothes in his arms. Vince's eyes dropped and his lips pouted, playfully putting on a look of disappointment and hurt.
"You don't look like you're having any fun..."
Howard sighed and would've put an arm around Vince's waist in comfort if it weren't for his preoccupied arms to stop him, "You know clothes shopping isn't fun for me, Vince." He tried saying gently, afraid he might hurt his feelings.
Vince lifted his head to give him a devious look that Howard knew could only lead to trouble, "I could make it fun." He said teasingly, winking at Howard to show exactly what he meant.
Howard's eyes widened and he cheeks turned a nervous pink colour, "Vince, we're in public!" he said trying to lower his hitched voice to a whisper. Vince pointed over to the other side of the room at a sign that said 'Fitting Rooms' and gave Howard a questioning look, Howard still seemed unsure. He stepped forward and grabbed Howard's hand that wasn't supporting the pile of clothes and pressed it to his already half-hard cock and looked directly at Howard,
"Look how hard I am already." He whispered seductively, trying to tempt him into the offer.
Howard's eyes widened further and looked at Vince surprisingly, "Brian Christ, Vince! Are you always horny? What did I even do?" his voice sounding distressed and cracked.
Vince looked up at Howard through his fringe and muttered the words only for Howard to hear, "Yeah, whenever I'm around you."
Howard's cheeks flushed red once more and looked around the store nervously, trying to see if he could spot anyone.
"But won't people hear us?" He asked quietly, "Can't you wait until we get home?"
His protests seemed a bit pointless, he was already getting hard. Vince looked into his eyes, trying to see what he was thinking.
"I'll be quiet."
Howard immediately dropped the pile of clothing from his arms and let himself be led in hand by Vince to the fitting rooms. He knew Vince would get his way, he always did. It's not like Howard ever did anything to stop it. Vince looked back at Howard, seeing that his face was still searching the room for onlookers, he didn't see any. Vince walked Howard through the door and locked it behind them. He wrapped his arms around Howard's waist and moved upwards to make their lips touch, pulling them backwards so Vince was against the wall. Howard pushed himself up against the smaller man, pressing him tightly to the wall, kissing him hungrily. Vince kissed back shortly and then pulled back, panting at the intensity of Howard's kiss.
Howard looked back confused, his own breath coming out in short stops, 'Why'd you stop, little man?"
"I can barely move. I'm all cloudy," he took in a deep breath and whispered the next words in Howard's ear, "I love it when you take control, it's so sexy."
Howard's eyes darkened with lust at the compliment and he grabbed Vince's wrists, pinning them to his sides and shoving him roughly back against the wall kissing him aggressively.
"So you probably like it when I do this." Howard spoke punctuating each word with a kiss down Vince's neck and collarbone, making his breaths slow and become deeper, Vince managed a breathy 'Uh huh' in response. He moved Vince's hands above his head and held them there with one of his own as he began undoing Vince's drainpipes with the other.
"How," he placed another kiss to the underside of Vince's chin, "about," and another travelling back down his neck, "this?" with a final nip at his skin with his teeth as he roughly pulled the drainpipes down Vince's thighs. He whimpered, looking down the length of his nose at Howard, whose gaze never faulted from him for a second. A smirk spread across Howard's face when he discovered that there was no underwear to be discovered beneath the tight trousers, he wasn't surprised. He snaked his free hand up the length of Vince's bare thigh, he was shaking from the anticipation, the tingling of his skin from Howard's fingers felt like he was on fire.
"And, I bet you love it when I do this." Howard's hand wrapped itself around Vince's fully hard cock. His mouth fell open and he let out a loud moan, forgetting the need to be quiet. He quickly remembers where they are and bites his lip and whines quietly.
Howard let go of Vince to put a hand over his mouth in order to silence him, "If you can't be quiet, you're just going to have to wait until we get home."
"No!" he quickly protested into Howard's hand, almost a little too loudly, "I'll be quiet."
Howard raised a questionable eyebrow.
"Promise."
Howard removed his hand to stand up and place a messy kiss on Vince's mouth, "Alright."
Vince needily kissed back. Howard's hands moved to the hem of Vince's shirt and the smaller man began sucking on his neck, every now and again kissing the red skin. He slid his hands under the shirt, his warm hands making Vince moan into his neck. Howard started pulling it up and over Vince's head, all the while having him accost his neck, only allowing himself a split second before moving his hands to Howard's chest and he began to unbutton the shirt. He fumbled with the buttons and Howard took over, just pulling it over his head in one swift motion. Vince steps forward and kisses Howard hard, he grinds himself against Vince and moved him around to hold him tightly against the door. Vince throws his head back, breathing heavily. Howard opened his mouth and ran his tongue along the bottom of Vince's earlobe.
"Do you want me to fuck you?" Howard's mouth was so close that Vince could feel the hot breath pulsing out and dampening his skin, he nodded quickly. "Tell me." His voice coming out in a throaty rasp.
Vince closed his dry mouth in preparation for his apprehensive speech, "I-I want you to fuck me."
Howard growled in Vince's ear and took a step back to rid himself of his trousers and briefs. Vince bit down on his lip once more, attempting to silence his arousal at the sight of Howard's erection. They met again in a messy, eager kiss of all tongues and teeth.
Howard suddenly pulled back and ordered Vince to turn around. He immediately obliged and reached a hand behind him to grab hold of Howard's cock. Howard groaned and held his fingers up to Vince's mouth, placing them on his lip. Vince opened his mouth and began sucking on Howard's two fingers whilst Howard's mouth was busy nipping at his neck before biting down on his shoulder and Vince hummed around his fingers. Howard took his fingers from Vince's mouth and nudged his feet apart with his foot. He slid his hand down Vince's bare back all the way to his arse and rested the tips of his fingers teasingly at Vince's entrance. Vince sucked in quickly and waited for Howard to enter.
He pushed his finger harder against him and slid slowly inside, Vince exhaled haggardly as he tried to remain quiet. Howard's finger moved inside him, pushing in and out ever so slowly. He pulled out again and entered with a second finger. Howard's fingers twisted and scissored inside him, stretching and preparing. Vince whimpered with his forehead pressed against the door as Howard continued to move his fingers in and out, getting rougher and adding a third. Vince was now trembling, his leaking cock digging into the wooden door, almost unable to hold himself up.
Howard pulled his fingers out suddenly, "You ready?"
Vince pushed back against Howard, already missing the feeling of his fingers moving inside him and wanting him to touch him more. He replied with a breathy, "Yeah." And Howard gripped Vince's hip as he slowly pushed his length inside, his head thrown back and mouth open in a silent cry of pleasure. Vince groaned and readily took in all of Howard and he began a steady rhythm.
"Mmm, Howard...harder..." Vince urged.
Howard told him to shush as he pulled out slowly and pushed all the way back into Vince rough and hard. Vince let out a squeaky whine and Howard had to cover his mouth, not wanting to take the chance of Vince being too loud. Howard was going hard and fast, leaning his head against the back of Vince's shoulder for support.
Vince took Howard's hand off of his mouth and moved to try and kiss him but on discovery of not being able to reach goes to turn around and switch positions, waiting for Howard to comply. He grabbed hold of Vince's hips, not wanting to lose contact as Vince turned and wrapped his legs around Howard's waist, thrusting him back into the door. Howard smacked their lips together, biting and sucking on Vince's bottom lip and tongue; taking control of his mouth. Vince bit back and then suddenly his eyes were in the back of his head, Howard had found his spot and was repeatedly hitting it with a force whilst licking over his collarbone. Vince grabbed his shoulder's hard and couldn't suppress a deep moan that was probably too loud but neither of them cared. Howard could feel himself coming close and reached down between them to stroke Vince's cock in time with each of his forceful thrusts. Vince swallowed a sound that was threatening to escape and instead opted for a simple "Fuck, Howard.", grabbing hold of the back of his neck and pressing his forehead into his chest.
At this point, Howard was too far gone to care about how loud Vince was getting, letting his own voice rise above them, "God, Vince...I'm gonna..."
And without a word for an answer but a strangled moan in reply, Vince came over Howard's fist. The sight of Vince squirming and clenching around him was enough to send Howard over the edge as he came, repeating Vince's name in his ear. Vince, still holding onto Howard, now released his grip and untangled himself - still trying to catch his breath. Howard let him stand on his own and leant on him against the door.
There was a knock on the wood.
Vince looked panicked and motioned for Howard to not say anything.
"Yeah?" said Vince, trying to sounding normal from behind the door.
"This is store security. What's going on in there? Everything alright?" the deep voice asked.
Howard pressed his face into Vince's neck in attempt to stifle his laughter.
"Yeah, everything's fine. That was my ringtone..."
Howard was almost choking with laughter.
"Your ringtone?" the man said, not sounding at all convinced, "Are you in there alone, sir?"
"Of course. This is the men's fitting room. Why would I have another man in here?" He retorted, Howard making his neck wet with tears as he shook against him in a fit of laughter, "Are you calling me a bender?" Vince bit his own lip as he tried to hold back his own giggle.
The man cleared his throat, "Could you open the door please, sir?" not sounding at all amused with Vince's smart-ass reply.
"What, are you a bender?" Vince said accusingly, "I'm not dressed y'know."
"Sir, I need you to get dressed and open the door." The man was sounding very annoyed at Vince's evident quips.
Vince huffed and told him to give him a minute. He looked about the small room trying to think of something, then suddenly he pulls Howard close and tells him to lie down. Howard does as he is told and lies on the floor, Vince grabs a pile of clothes from the corner and covers Howard completely. He finishes getting dressed and opens the door to face a very unimpressed looking security guard.
"Happy?"
Howard tried not to move under the clothes. The security guard poked his head in the door and peered about the room.
"Alright, thank you, sir." He gave Vince a sceptical look and wandered off.
Vince quickly locked the door again and started laughing quietly, uncovering the still naked Howard from the pile. Howard was in tears, he was clutching his bare stomach as he rolled about the floor, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Vince pounced on Howard and he yelped in surprise.
He whispered loudly and still laughing, "Vince! Wha...what are you doing? We have to get out of this fitting room!"
"Fine." he sighed, pouting, "More fun when we get home though?"
Howard kissed him playfully, nibbling on his lip, "Definitely."
Vince got off Howard, allowing him to finally re-dress himself. He opened the door and looked out to see the security guard a few feet away looking in his direction. Vince looked at Howard, asking him what to do. Howard straightened his shirt, put an arm around Vince's waist and walked them through the store towards the door. They burst out laughing as soon as they were outside and sure the security guard couldn't see or hear them.
"We have to do this again sometime." Howard said, still laughing.
Vince rose up and placed a lingering kiss on Howard's lips, "Definitely."
Howard smiled against his mouth and pulled away, "Just maybe a different store. We might not be allowed back in that one."