Goddess of My Shadows

Severus Snape sometimes wished that there was an easier way to evade the Dark Lord than to teach children who couldn't care less the profound skill and precision required for the art of potion-making.

He had once been quite like those children; bored, uninterested, and hormonal. The only difference between him and the others had been James Potter.

James Potter had despised Severus Snape for one reason; Severus didn't care. When James would stroll off the Quidditch pitch, looking for affection and admiration, Severus had his nose stuck in a book. When James kissed Lily passionately in the halls, Severus would turn around politely and take a different route. Finally, James had forced Severus to care in the only way that he could; he humiliated him.

Now, 4 years after his graduation, Severus was seated at the Head Table in the Great Hall. He had never seen himself here, teaching at Hogwarts. This was the one place that he hoped to leave more than anywhere else, and the one place where he was safe.

The new students had been sorted, but there was still one teacher missing. The new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was late, and the feast was coming to a close. Severus glanced at his house table, but saw no one of interest, so allowed his thoughts to return to the essay he was writing. He was arguing that blast-ended skrewts should be legalised in England, due to the magical properties they possessed and their uses in potions.

Suddenly, the door to the Great Hall opened. Severus lifted his chin from his hand and gazed at the figure that entered. She had dark cherry hair, confident brown eyes and a smirk that could make a dragon nervous.

As was the custom, she wore her Hogwarts robes, but underneath, she bore a close fitting burgundy velvet top and very close fitting dress pants. Severus guessed that she was about 23.

She walked gracefully up to the Head Table and spoke briefly with the Head Master. She took the empty seat beside Severus, as was tradition, and he looked away, now realising that he had been staring at her. He was less embarrassed, however, when he noticed that he wasn't the only one. Bill Weasley, one of the Professor's favourite students, looked about ready to faint. Severus crossed his legs casually (and quite strategically) and greeted the new teacher.

"Severus Snape," he said in his deep, calm voice. "Welcome to Hogwarts."

"Thank you Severus." Oh how he loved the way she said his name. "I'm Kali Ridler. Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine," he said earnestly.

"What is it that you do here?" she asked.

"I'm the Potions master," he replied.

Kali whistled in appreciation. "You must look young for your age. Becoming a master takes years."

"I was apprenticed by Dumbledore at 16. I became a master last year."

"That would make you 23, correct?"

"Twenty-two, actually, though I progressed more quickly than most."

"Interesting," Kali responded slyly. She raised an eyebrow and was about to speak when Dumbledore rose.

"Please welcome our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Ridler. I will now -"

But nobody heard what Dumbledore had said, due to the loud clapping, cheering, whistling and general approval from the students. When the noise finally died down, Dumbledore continued.

"Please follow your Prefects to your Common Rooms. Professors, please see me once you have made sure that the students are fine."

Severus walked to his House's table and spoke quickly to the Prefects, then strode out of the hall. He never bothered to meet his students before classes. He failed to see the point; his students were never that keen on him in the first place, why cause the relationship to begin any sooner than necessary? Aside from that, the noise normally gave him a horrible migraine.

"Considering the speed with which you left the Great Hall, one would think that you're trying to avoid me, Severus."

Professor Ridler stood halfway down the dungeon corridor, leaning casually against the stone wall and examining a nail. She turned to him and gave him a crooked smile, then stood up properly and walked toward him.

"Not you, Professor, the students," he said. His voice guarded the fact that he was incredibly nervous and had no idea how to act in such a situation.

"Call me Kali."

"Of course. I hope you don't mind my asking, but how did you know that I would be down here?"

"Did I say I was looking for you?" she said, her voice confirming that she had, in fact, been waiting for him.

"Forgive me. I hadn't considered that you enjoyed taking long walks in dank, dark, cold corridors," he said, his thin lips curling into what might have been a smile.

"I didn't come for the walk," she said, moving closer to him. He swallowed hard, then hoped that she hadn't noticed. "I had a question to ask you."

"Yes?" he asked, his voice cracking nervously.

"I've never taught a Defence class before and was wondering if you might know what types of things they've been taught," she said, leaning against the wall again. Severus brought his eyebrows together and mentally frowned.

"I've never discussed it with the other Professors. I tend to keep to myself most of the time, but I'm sure that Dumbledore can give you reports on that sort of thing."

"Alright, thanks," she said, walking away.

"You're welcome," he responded, then walked into his private chambers. He immediately went to his bedroom and lay down on his bed. The soft, satin sheets rubbed against his neck and cheeks, asking him to sleep. He closed his eyes to acquiesce to their call, but his mind wouldn't stop racing. He hadn't thought about anyone like this since sixth year, and that had been short-lived. Severus had a feeling that this would last much longer.

He went over their entire conversation more than eight times, even though he knew that she'd only wanted to know what to instruct.

Wait a bloody tic. I'd already told her that I was the Potions Master. Why would she come all the way down here to ask me about the class?

"Bloody Hell."

Severus woke up an hour early the next morning and found that he was unable to go back to sleep. He stepped into the bathroom, turned on the shower and stared into the mirror while he waited for the water to warm up.

The only noticeable differences in his physical appearance were that he'd filled out his body, which two years previous had been tall and lanky, and that his acne had finally cleared up. His eyes were now cold and quite a bit darker than they had been. He sighed and undressed, stepped into the shower and let the hot water cleanse away his thoughts.

A/N: I've been told that Severus is a bit out of character by a giant bunny in a man suit, (aka Brianne.) I felt that perhaps I should explain my reasoning.

Severus, at this time, is not a bitter man full of hate. Of course, he is still partly hanging on to his teen angst, as well as having horrible thoughts because of Voldemort. I held on to what I think his main characteristics are, aside from those that are caused by being hurt and bitter. I know from experience that all that it takes is one single time where you've trusted someone and had that taken away from you for you to change in ways you never thought possible.

p.s. Kali is not a Mary-Sue. She has faults as well. We all do.