Two years. It's been two goddamned years since that, human, that disgusting scientist or whatever he called himself, arrived at Lukedonia and started leeching off of Ser Raizel like a parasite. It's not that he hates humans. How could he? He's an Agvain. Rather, he just hates that Ser Raizel cares more for this human than him, than them. That he cares more for someone that only stays to protect himself overEdian who's given everything up for him. So he hates Frankenstein, no matter how stupidly attractive he may be.

Oh, Urokai didn't really care much for Lagus' plans at first, he still doesn't agree completely now, not with how it includes getting rid of the noblesse. Yet, it's becoming more and more tempting, though he's sure Zarga won't be happy with him if he does join. Neither of them have said anything to the lord about it, or of how Roctis is already working with Lagus, and of how Gradeus seems to be spiralling down deeper and deeper still into a pit of self-destruction. Slowly dying over his mother and brother being in eternal sleep despite it having occured over a millenia prior. The guilt eats at Urokai, not as much as Dragus does, nor as much as how the Agvain soul weapon slowly drives him insane, but it is there. Edian's situation is the worst though. He doesn't know how he stays quiet about her mind being controlled, doesn't know how he hasn't revealed it to the lord, but he knows why Gradeus doesn't, and he knows why Zarga doesn't utter a word despite his disapproval, despite his disgust.

It's because Gradeus wants to do something so bad that the lord himself will put him into eternal sleep. Committing sin isn't his goal. He just wants to die, and in a way where he can justify that he's a horrible person. So even though Gradeus hates Edian's state more than him, even though he's terrified of his own actions, of the fact that he is sick and cannot control his own body at times, he acts as though he is fine. He acts as though he's the villain. As though he'll become one if he pretends hard enough. The worst part of it all is that it's working.

And Zarga. He only averts his eyes for Urokai. He does it because he cares for him and even though it tears him apart, he doesn't tell Zarga to stop. Doesn't tell him that he shouldn't sacrifice everything for him because he's pathetic and snaps at everything and has never been suitable for the role of the Agvain gaju.

Urokai isn't even putting himself down, it's merely the truth that he was never meant to be the gaju of his beloved clan. That position was meant for his twin sister, Arakei. Had been hers at one point because their father too, like him, hadn't been suitable for the position. They weren't suitable, not because they were lacking, but instead because they didn't miss one thing. Their sanity.

Arakei wasn't a cruel person, but she wasn't sane, and he had loved her more than anything, still loved her more than anything. His elder sister, the gaju before his father and only not in position anymore because she was too sickly, had been the greatest gaju their clan had ever had, and she had been missing enough screws in her head from the moment she was born that their father had raised her with thousands of rules compared to he and Arakei's ten. Yet Arakei is in eternal sleep just like their father, not from murder, but from Gradeus' body that can't be controlled, from Gradeus who he doesn't blame, only pities. His elder sister sleeps too. She fought, not out of duty, but for her beloved sister, Mergé Ennea di Gentilus, the previous lord, and only failed due to her miscarriage. Only failed because the previous lord could not handle her death and soon joined her in eternal sleep. Only failed because her sacrifice was in vain.

And just how could any sane person deal with Dragus' hunger? Deal with the whispers of countless gaju forced into insanity because they weren't meant for the role. Deal with the agony that coursed through the bearer of the Agvain soul weapon, because it's feelings were theirs too, and never be able to hate it or their role, because how can you hate your own clan? How can you hate the children of your own family, since for every Agvain that lives there are three who have passed before reaching twenty, and that is true even for the line of the gaju.

So no he isn't putting himself down. He's but a shell of his former self since Dragus came to him, and Zarga knows that. Knows it because he's a Siriana, and they, the Agvains, and the Kravei are close. Close because they are all dragons in one form or another, because their instincts try to claw out from the pathetic bodies they maintain to burst out and appear as how they really should be. Close, because they don't find it fearful or hard. So Urokai can't tell him to stop, not because he's selfish, but because he already has for thousands of things and has been refused everytime.

It's part of the reason why he stands before Ser Raizel's manor alone. He doesn't want Zarga to worry for him. To make his brows furrow or for him to look at him with that concern-filled face. To offer to accompany him or at least to send Gradeus (not Edian because even though he loves her he can't face her wrath if she is freed from her mind control just yet) with him in that quiet voice of his.

Urokai is small compared to the manor, and still would be small even if he was in the form of a hydra. After all, he knows his hate and anger makes him inferior, so even if he looks grand, looks imposing, he's nothing more than a fool trying to play a role not meant for him. If Ser Raizel did love anyone it would not be him. Could not be him. For he's too poisonous and a relationship like that would never work out so he always thinks of how it would be good for the noblesse to love Edian one day.

He ignores himself.

As he goes to Ser Raizel, a route that has never changed from the first time his elder sister brought him and Arakei to visit the Madam Noblesse, Ma'am Crespo Iglesias di Xuvunue, and her two sons, he holds the tiny grey kitten close to him. She's a calm little thing, and had been in his darling Xhama's first litter. He's already weaned her off, and Ser Raizel is sure to adore her.

Honestly, this wasn't planned. The idea of letting the noblesse raise a cat? Horrifying. Would he even be able to do such a thing? Probably not, but he can help out there, Urokai's not bad at teaching things. That's what his clan's elders say anyway; apparently he got the skill from his father. Not too surprising since Vaktel Agvain had been in charge of the education received by the Agvain children about their clan when he was still alive.

The first thing he sees is Ser Raizel standing by the window like always. The second thing is that the wood panelling of the whole room has been replaced, just like that of the hallways he walked through, and that everything smells fresher. The third is that Frankenstein is glaring at the sofa with some cloth clenched in his hands, and that he is soaked.

Perhaps he came at the wrong time.

Frankenstein doesn't notice him, and he's not sure if he should be insulted, or uncaring, after all, Ser Raizel has already felt his presence. The noblesse looks at him, or so he wishes.

His eyes focus on the kitten in his arms and even Urokai can tell that he's intrigued. Surprising since he usually can't differentiate all the minute expressions of his. Oh he tries. Tries and tries and tries. And he fails. He hasn't given up yet, but that doesn't make things any better, or any easier.

He moves forward and his girl mewls at Ser Raizel's movement. He pauses, and stops entirely. Is it out of confusion, or hesitation? Urokai can't tell.

"What idiocy have you brought this time?"

Unfortunately Frankenstein seems to have noticed him, and he bites back a 'Finally.' because he doesn't intend to start anything. There's no need to get worked up, or to act like a fool. So that means he can't get provoked.

He tries his best to give a curt reply.

"She isn't idiocy," Urokai says, and he's already failed his goal because even he can hear the annoyance in his voice, "She's much smarter than the Kertias. Rayga has failed to find her several times."

He wants to leave the manor the moment he finishes speaking because he's said something stupid again. Rayga probably wouldn't be pleased to learn that he had divulged that he played hide-and-seek with cats either. Especially not the fact that he lost. There's no chance it'll stay hidden with Frankenstein here. Everyone knows of the spars that occur, even the younger ones are aware.

The way Ser Raizel's face is blank as always doesn't help, and he doesn't even look at Frankenstein. If it wasn't for how he's always slipping up like this (around Edian the most so why did he mess up here?) he'd have ran the moment he finished speaking. Now he simply ignores his actions and lets his girl down on the sofa that Frankenstein has a vendetta against. He hears angered words behind him as he does but it's little more than a buzzing in the background.

"Frankenstein." Ser Raizel speaks and it's a calm warning that makes Urokai glad he wasn't listening because nothing good could have been said. Maybe he could have weathered taunts against himself (lies), but not against anybody else.

His girl stumbles around on the damp furniture, constantly lifting a paw after a few steps and looking to him in indignant confusion. She's sweet, no doubt about it, but spoiled. He doesn't mind. She likes being carried and he likes carrying her.

When she leaps off of the sofa he feels a foreign cold choking against his throat. Ser Raizel is horrified, but it turns to a gentle caress from the breeze that children are prone to feel as she lands on the ground more nimbly than any noble could.

Watching as she explores the ground, and trying not to laugh at how Ser Raizel's flinches when she stretches on his foot, he suppresses the glow of his eyes. It's improper and all he wants is to be liked, so even though holding it back hurts so bad he wants to cry, he pretends that the flow of the snake on his shoulders hasn't become a heavy chain. Pretends that he doesn't feel eyes taking over his body and consuming it whole.

Then he almost does cry when his girl stops in front of Frankenstein. She's looking at the bastard expectantly, the way she does whenever she wants to be picked up, and it's a bit too obvious that she's taken a liking to him. Urokai doesn't like this. Of course he doesn't. But he hates the way she's ignored more because she's deserving of more. The resentment in his voice is clear but nothing can be done about it.

"She wants you to pick her up."

Disgust flashes over Frankenstein's face and he feels like his stomach is a pot, or perhaps a cauldron. It's boiling and threatening to spill so he screams at his fire to calm itself. The response is it flaring up angrier, but then he can feel the pain and it diminishes into a spark, quivering and apologising like a child. He wants to comfort his fire because it's not its fault or burden to bear, yet the time isn't right. Though is the time ever right for anything?

"Why must I do that? It's a cat, nothing more, nothing less."

Faster than he can force himself quite or Ser Raizel can let the feathery (itchy) disapproval over the entire room, he replies, "She. Izil isn't an it."

He regrets it.

"Izil? You would give your cat such a stupid name?"

He doesn't regret it.

"I suppose that as a human you wouldn't know much. It was my grandfather's name." Urokai doesn't even stop his sneer, unable to tell what the electricity in his ears or the mist that blinds his eyes are.

Izil shouldn't have to hear this blasphemy. She's only a child and even if Frankenstein doesn't like cats he shouldn't be so, so, rude. He could have just refused. Politely!

"You named a female cat after your grandfather? What sort of twisted scenario is that?" Frankenstein doesn't have even a hair out of place compared to how his fire is burning with him and how he's tearing himself up.

Half shouting, half trying not to wail because the man that smiles in his elder sister's paintings is someone he's never met, his words start to turn incoherent. He says something about how it's a fitting name. How his grandfather was mistaken to be everything his girl is.

He practically sounds like a child when he says, "It's a traditional name for both sexes!" Not because he's wrong, but because he's broken the promise he made to himself and how it feels like he's throwing a tantrum. How he wants the burning warmth of suns upon his skin rather than the gentle cold on his neck.

It continues on like this. Frankenstein growing annoyed as Urokai winds himself up tighter and tighter. Goes on and on until Ser Raizel says "Stop."

Frankenstein ignores him, and the fog in his eyes has grown so thick that he can barely care of the arrogance that they both show. Can barely notice Izil's distressed voice by his feet.

"Perhaps," he says, voice cold, "We should make a contract. Maybe then you'll understand that humans aren't useless."

"Maybe," Urokai says, unable to tell him that he knows humans are amazing. That if his elder sister could love them so dearly, if she could take one as a lover, they couldn't be inferior. He doesn't though, because his emotions control him and he can't articulate anything more than insults. He can't remember everything he thinks about when he's calm. "We should."

Ser Raizel doesn't even stop them them as Urokai lets blood flow from his fingers as if he wants to die rather than make a contract. He doesn't stop them as Frankenstein cringes at the fire in his blood that must surely burn his throat, or as the blood in his (it tastes like metal and it's horrible but the influx of emotions is even worse because they're so clear and vivid and if he likes cats than why did he act like such an asshole?) makes Dragus sob and tug at him. He's hungry but Urokai can't feed him now, at least not what he wants.

Only when he manages to push all the new emotions down do his actions become clear to him. Ser Raizel is staring at them and Izil is crying as Frankenstein starts to speak.

He picks her up and runs.