Help! If It Really Happened, an across the universe fanfic

Help!

Summary: If Help! Had really happened

Parings: George/Ringo and John/Paul

Warnings: Language, and slash

Rating K+

Timeframe: 1965

Story © me, The Beatles © Themselves

Chapter 1: The New Ring:

Ringo walked in admiring the new ring that he had gotten from some Indian bird and it was just a big ruby and a gold band. George said "'ello love." Ringo smiled and he replied "Look, some Indian bird sent me this ring." He pointed to the ring he had on his right hand ring finger and George smiled "It's pretty but plain." "Yeah, but I like it." John and Paul walked in "Ritchie's got a new ring, 'e got it from an Indian bird." George said and they nodded "It's very plain." Paul said and John nodded.

The Next Day:

The Beatles were returning from a recording session and two ladies were talking in the background "Wave." One in a white coat said "Don't want to, shall I?" The other one in a black coat said and she added "They 'aven't changed at all! They're still the same as they've ever been!" They both waved and Paul waved back and the four Beatles walked into their flat. Paul went downstairs, while John went to get a book out of his bookshelf, George went in his room and there was a gardener there who had chattering teeth and he started 'mowing' the grass carpet and George started reading a newspaper, and while Ringo went into his room to get a sandwich.

He patted his blue horse that George had given him on his birthday and he put his hand that has that plain ruby ring on it into the sandwich vending machine (that was also a gift from George!). When he went to grab his sandwich, someone had ahold of his ring finger. Ringo tried to pull his hand out "Someone's got a hold of me finger!" "Stop bringing things down to yer own level! It's immature son!" John said and Ringo frowned "S-she's pulling at it!" Ringo tried to pull his hand out again but the woman bit down on his finger, and he cried out in pain. Paul raised an eyebrow and Ringo finally got his finger out.

"She 'ad a 'old of me finger y'know." Ringo said and he added "I thought she was a sandwich until she bit down on me finger." He frowned and George didn't hear it because he had earplugs in.

Outside:

The woman who tried to get the ring off of Ringo's finger was pacing around she knew that Ringo was in danger and that the Beatles might lose a drummer. "Ahme, the ring?" Klang asked who was sharpening a knife that was on an umbrella. "No, I could not get it off Swami." "Oh dear!" He said and he stopped sharpening the knife and it disappeared into the umbrella. Ahme rolled her eyes and she walked off. Klang got on a bike and Bhuda followed behind.

Later that night:

All of the Beatles were fast asleep but there was a light all of a sudden most likely from a flashlight appeared. It when from George's bed who was talking in his sleep "Oh Ritchie, of course I'll 'elp ye finish tha' 'uge sandwich! Oh I love ye soo much baby!" Then to Paul's bed who was also talking in his sleep in fact all of the Beatles where! "Oh Johnny, that's a beautiful song about me!" Then to John's bed "Paulie, yer soo amazing! No ye are!" Then to Ringo's bed, a grabber type claw came out and it removed the cover where Ringo's head should be but except there was his feet instead! Ahme cursed to herself and she went down to the edge of the bed and she pulled back the covers. Ringo mumbled "Oh Georgie! I 'ave the greatest news! Guess!...I'm pregnant….yeah we're gonna 'ave a family….." She grabbed Ringo's ring with the claw and she tried to pull it off but it failed, so she tried again. This time Ringo's arm was up in the air and he fell to the ground. Ringo woke up and he yawned. He rubbed his eyes and he smirked. He crawled over to John "'ey! 'ave ye been messing around with me in me kip?!" John hummed in response and Ringo added "Y'know with a fishing rod." He pointed to his ring and John replied "I wouldn't touch ye with a plastic one, what are ye doing on the floor?" "I'm tired." Ringo said and he got up to go back to his room and laid back down. John grabbed his phone and he dialed a number and Paul and George's phones ran. "'ello?" They both said after they answered and John hit the button on his alarm clock. They needed to talk about Ringo's ring now.

The Next Day:

The Beatles were getting into their limo (George and Ringo were already in the car) and Paul was stopped "Hey Be-a-tle?" Paul turned around and Klang who had a pouch of gold nuggets said "Gold, un-marked not a mark on it eh?" "No 'ate them." Paul stated but Ahme whispered "No!" "I do! It makes yer fingers turn green!" "It's not the Beatle with the ring! He!" "Aren't I?" "No unfortunately." Ahme said winking and Paul walked off into the car and John walked out "Hey Be-a-tle! You shall have fun eh?" "No thanks I'm already rhythm guitar and mouth organ." John went in the limo and Ahme winked "I didn't encourage that wink!" George said and Ringo frowned "What?! Do ye want me to wink at ye more often Geo?!" "No! Baby! I didn't mean it like that!" "It's not the one!" Ahme complained and her boss said "My gosh! They all look the same with their similitude and language!" "Swami! Swami!" Bhuda said "It's raining on your" Ahme and Klang ran off under Bhuda's umbrella. "After them!" Klang said as the Beatles were driving off. "Quickly! Quickly!" "Yes. Yes." Bhuta replied and they got into a van. "Shilling!" "Oh shilling!" Bhuta repeated and Klang put it in a coin slot and they drove off.

Chapter 2: The Attempts:

In the weeks that followed five more attempts were made to steal the ring!

1st Attempt:

John and Ringo where in an elevator and Ringo turned to John "What first attracted ye to me?" Ringo asked John and he answered "Well yer very polite aren't ye." All of a sudden there was a humming noise and John's items that were metal flew out of his pocket and Ringo's rings made him stuck to the celling. "What the fuck?!" John exclaimed and then all of a sudden it stopped. Ringo said "That was weird." John nodded and the elevator doors opened.

2nd Attempt:

John and Ringo where walking to mail a package to Ringo's mother that had George and Ringo's wedding invitations, and also a gift for her birthday. John was reciting some poetry and Ringo put the package in a red mailbox. When he tried to pull his hand out he couldn't and Ringo bit down on his lip. He tried again and John asked "What the bloody 'ell are ye doing?" "Posting a letter to me mum!" Ringo said and he finally got his hand out. They left from there to go back to their flat.

3rd Attempt:

Ringo was munching on an apple and he was walking towards a fortune machine, just begging him to get his fortune told. "This couldn't do anything to 'urt me!" He thought and he put a few coins in. The small piece of paper that had his fortune on it appeared and when Ringo when to get it a blade appeared. Ringo quickly removed his hand quickly so it didn't cut him and he quickly walked off.

4th Attempt:

Paul and Ringo where getting ready in the restroom and Paul was warming up his voice and Ringo echoed him. Paul looked at him and Ringo went over to go dry his hands. When he pressed the pedal with his foot to make it go, his left hand was sucked in. "Paul! Help!" Ringo cried and Paul hurried up over to him but Ringo's jacket sleeve was ripped almost off. He got his hand out of the dryer and Paul's jacket sleeve was torn off. He went slowly went over to the sinks and he held onto one. But sadly the sink fell down and water was spraying at the bassist. Ringo tried to hold on to the paper towels dispenser, and George and John walked in. George's shirt was torn off, he blushed and Ringo did too. George grabbed Ringo's jacket and so did John.

The dryer stopped all of a sudden and Paul sighed "Ugh! Me suit's ruined and I'm soaked right to the skin!" "There's more 'ere that meets the eye!" Ringo complained and John and George started laughing.

"Ho, ho!"

"Ho."

"Ho ho!"

"Ho!"

"Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!"

"Ho!

"Ho Ho!"

Paul frowned and Ringo said "Geo!" "Sorry, Ritchie, but this is funny!"

5th Attempt:

It was a couple days after the restroom incident and the Beatles were in the recording studio. "Okay, You're Going To Lose That Girl." Brian said and John nodded "Okay! 1….2"

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

If you don't take her out tonight,

She's gonna change her mind,

(She's gonna change her mind)

And I will take her out tonight,

And I will treat her kind.

(I'm gonna treat her kind)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

If you don't treat her right, my friend,

You're gonna find her gone,

(You're gonna find her gone)

'cause I will treat her right, and then

You'll be the lonely one.

(You're not the only one)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

I'll make a point

Of taking her away from you, yeah,

(watch what you do)

The way you treat her what else can I do?

You're gonna lose that girl,

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

I'll make a point

Of taking her away from you, yeah,

(watch what you do)

The way you treat her what else can I do?

If you don't take her out tonight,

She's going to change her mind,

(She's gonna change her mind)

And I will take her out tonight,

And I will treat her kind.

(I'm gonna treat her kind)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

You're gonna lose that girl.

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

You're gonna lose that girl

(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

They finished recording and Brian noticed something really weird "Boys are ye buzzing?" "No thanks, I've got the car!" George replied and Brian replied "No, no, no! Listen...I'll have to play it back. You'll have to do the song all over again." Brian rewound the track and began to play the chorus. Ringo began to clap and the others danced a bit as the sound of buzzing blended with the Beatles harmonies. But none of them seemed to notice the saw that was circling him buzzing away. "Were ye buzzing Paulie?" John asked and Paul shook his head no. "Well! Don't look at me!" George said and all of a sudden there was a creaking noise. Ringo and his drums fell with a crash and two thugs grabbed on to him. One covering his mouth with his hand and holding his arms and the other holding down his legs. Klang was walking closer to him with a chainsaw. "Ritchie! 'old on baby! I'll save ye!" George yelled and John said "No! Look Geo!" Ahme looked at Klang and she grabbed a sliver disk. She threw it at him and the chainsaw cut on of the thug's legs. Ringo quickly got up and Ahme ran opened the door.
"Kaili!" A thug yelled and Ringo quickly ran out the door and he locked it. "Flee!" Ahme yelled and Ringo raised an eyebrow "Who are ye?" "Flee!" She repeated and Ringo asked "Will you explain yourself when the opportunity arises?" "Please flee!" "Okay." Ringo said and he ran off.

Chapter 3: Indian Restaurant, Jeweler, and Scientists:

It was the next day after the recording studio attempt and the Beatles were heading to this one Indian restaurant that they liked. When they got up to the door "Does this ring mean anything to you?" Ringo asked the guard. "Freemasons?" He replied looking at the ring on Ringo's hand. "Yer jus' plain old English." "Certainly, what would I be without Unions? I won't tell a lie though, but we got someone who can help. Abdul?" He said and a man came out who was holding a menu. "Yes?" "Didn't we have one of those gurus who came here? You know, ones of the magical variety?" "I think so, he's still in the basement." Ringo nodded and he said "Ta! I want this damn ring off me finger now! Before I get into any more problems!" They followed Abdul and they all spread out. John and Ringo were in the basement, George was in the kitchen, and Paul was observing the dancers.

The basement had a furnace and not a lot of lighting in it. There was a man on his head "Doesn't the blood rush to yer 'ead sir?" John asked.

George was in the kitchen and a chef was cooking "Doesn't the Eastern flavors come rather expensive?" He asked the chef.

Paul was watching a dancer "Doesn't the blood rush to yer stomach, ma'am?" He asked the woman, who was dressed in a green and gold trimmed outfit.

"Is this ring nasty, sir?" Ringo asked the man who was on his head as he showed him the ring. "Kaili! Oh my! I must lay down!" The man said and he laid down on a bed that had spikes on it. Ringo frowned and John shrugged his shoulders.

John and Ringo walked into the kitchen where George was at "There's a man down there on 'is 'ead Geo." John said and George replied "Is 'e?" Ringo nodded and they walked into the dining room. "Oi! Paul ye eating?!" John asked and Paul mouthed "No! I'm talking to this lady!" John frowned and the other three Beatles sat down. The Beatles were holding a menu in front of their eyes. While they were busy observing the food menu, they didn't notice very small changes to the layout. A dancer was pushed aside. The band was now playing A Hard Day's Night. Klang and Bhuta were there as their waiters. Paul frowned and the new dancer said "Your friend is in terrible danger, I can say no more." "Soup please." George said and John said "I'll 'ave the soup too." Ringo nodded. "He only has three hours to live." Ahme said and Paul replied "Please say no more" "I can say no more." Klang looked at Ringo and he smiled as he sharpened the knives in hand. Ringo shot a glare. "That's a very fascinating ring you got there." said Klang. "I'd do so much to have it." "The dreaded sacred sacrificial ring of the dread Kaili.." Ahme added. The bowls of soup were served as Bhuta noticed something strange. "If he's wearing the sacred ring of the dread Kaili, why isn't painted red?" He asked.

"That's something we've never had the courage to ask besides 'e's me mate." John noted and he took the spoon and began to scoop up soup...and a pair of glasses. "Glasses?" He asked. "Yes." said Bhuta. "Glasses, sir." "A victim is offered to the great Kaili every day," Ahme explained. "All are happy to go; he who wins is privileged to wear the sacred ring. From sun to moon, from moon to sun, and at the end of the day, he's slaughtered—jolly—with a knife." "And sacrificed, jolly, with a knife." Klang ended. "Or so I'm told. With only." "Three hours to live." Bhuta finished. "Is that all? You have till five o'clock..." "Until a new victim is chosen."

"You are a lucky man; my mother would give up her own right hand for that ring." Klang smiled, tapping the knife blades together. Ringo looked at George and George grinned at him. So the Beatles began eating their soup once more. John began to take another sip of his soup, but found a red ticket in it. He looked at Ringo to get an answer. "It's a season ticket," Ringo sarcastically answered. "What did ye think it was?" "Well, I like a little seasoning in me soup." said John, returning the ticket into the bowl. Ahme, while dancing with Paul, kept winking at the Beatles. George noticed this and winked back and Ringo frowned "Geo!" Ringo harshly whispered "Sorry. Yer still cuter than any bird!" He whispered back and Ringo blushed.

"It is rubbish about the whole Kaili business and all." Ringo said "Can't even get it off, but ye might be able too." Ringo held his right hand up and Klang soon took the wrist and began marking lines on it with a pen. Ahme noticed this. "Flee!" She cried and Ringo pulled his hand away just as Bhuta brought a scimitar down on the table. It sliced in half and caved in, just as the musicians and guards were about to strike. The Beatles quickly got up and they ran. George grabbed Ringo and he held him close while John and Paul were behind them. There was a scream as Klang glared at Bhuta. He pulled out his hand, but retracted the ring finger.

The Beatles quickly ran to a jewelers and the jeweler was inspecting Ringo's ring, while George was raiding some safes for some rings and other jewelry for Ringo. Paul was looking at the gems and John was watching the jeweler. "I've seen some of these problems before," The jeweler explained. "Some of them are matrimonial. This ring is not stone, and therefore it must be metal." The jeweler used a hand saw and began to saw the ring off. John continued to put the jeweler loupe in his mouth as a beautiful silver necklace was in his hands. He was thinking of giving it to Paul but he didn't know if he'd actually wear it. Paul was over by George raiding a box of rings. Then all of a sudden there was a snap and Ringo frowned the saw broke in half.

You're not getting anywhere, are you jeweler?" John asked. "It must be an alloy then." The jeweler replied. "Well this is a 'Hurry up' situation since me life is on the line and all." Ringo said and George winked at him. Ringo blushed and Paul walked over to them he had some rings on his fingers "3:10." He said looking at the time on his watch. "The wheel." the jeweler said as an idea struck his head. "Not the wheel." John sarcastically replied. "Even the royal house of Hannibal had the wheel." The wheel was just a small hand saw with a circular blade —began to scrape and saw through the metal. Unfortunate, it too fell through the same fate like the hand saw before it. "Jeweler, you failed." John said frowning "I suggest you see a specialist." said the Jeweler. "What kind of specialist?" Paul asked and Ringo replied ""The fire brigade once got my head out of some railings. I used to see lots of the world from railings when I wasn't using my head for school." Paul raised an eyebrow and George smiled.

At a lab:

Ringo was strapped to a wall, with his hand pressing against an electronic scanner. A metal helmet with wires curled down topped his head as his face showed a sardonic look. "Operations give ye a nice sense of outlook don't they Georgie." He said and George nodded. The lab was filled with machines of blinking lights and buttons, and giant walls made of stacked sandbags piled high. Paul and George were with Algernon, a short, red haired scientist. John was staring at Foot, trying to give the guy a death stare every now and then. "The theory is that we just expand the molecules in his hand until the ring drops." Algernon explained. "What's the electricity bill like?" George asked and he answered "It's quite long actually."

"Voltage!" Foot announced, noticing the statistics. "Up...up!"There was a flurry and a raising of hands as Algernon began to screw wires in. "The earth is green in America," He noted. "In some places it's brown y' know." Paul replied. "Yes, well you see, the basis of America is their machines, but Britain has her good British plugs." Algernon walked over by Ringo and he was at a giant switch. "5...4..." Algernon counted down. "Come on!" Foot interrupted. "3...2..1..." The switch went down and the machine hummed to life. John held a light bulb to his mouth like a microphone. "How do you feel?" asked John. "I used to use my hands." Ringo explained. "'e used to use 'is 'ands." John repeated in a deeper voice and Ringo's body began to shake. "To the bunker!" Foot yelled and the Beatles went behind a wall of sand bags. "I can't watch me love like this!" George muttered and he looked away.

Ringo felt the rings slip off his fingers. One by one they fell with a clatter, but the sacrificial ring was still there. Foot said "Raise the voltage!" Algernon did as he was told and then Ringo's body turned as red as a ruby. But the ring still didn't come off "Stop it!" John said as he was hitting Algernon's hand and George added "Yeah! Stop it!" Algernon finally turned it off and Ringo bit his lip. The trembling in his arm passed through his body and began to unzip his pants. They fell down, exposing his blue and white striped boxers. Paul smiled and waved, Ringo glared. While George smiled, he wished that it would have taken the rest of his clothes off as well and Ringo blushed turning deep red. "That ring is amazing..." Foot exclaimed. "With it I could, dare I say it, rule the world. I must have it." John frowned "Yer nothing but bad scientists!" "Algernon! The laser!" Foot yelled and Algernon replied "Yes!" He started looking around for it and Ahme stepped in, her dress was now in a pink buttoned dress and turban, and she had a pink gun in her hands. "Turn off that machine." She announced. "I am a dead-eye shot at shooting!" Algernon grabbed the laser and John quickly removed the things off of Ringo. Ringo put his head on George's shoulder as he was pulling up his pants. "Follow me." Ahme said "And 'ow can we trust ye?" George asked and she said "I've been saving you since Klang tried to get the ring. I stopped the magnetizing elevator, the hand dryer, and Klang from getting the ring." "Don't worry about it Geo." Paul said "I'll vouch." Algernon pulled the trigger on the laser and the Beatles along with Ahme backed up. But the laser started sparking and it stopped. "Let's get the bloody 'ell out of 'ere!" John said and the Beatles and Ahme ran out.

Chapter 4: Beatles to Battle:

The Beatles drove back to their flat, so they decided to show off their skills to their new friend! George was sitting on a black leather couch with his guitar, Ringo in John's bed with a tambourine, John sitting in a chair besides Ringo with an acoustic guitar, Paul by a bookshelf with his bass and Ahme sitting beside George and he looked at Ringo. Ringo just rolled his eyes in reply. "Georgie, I'm not in a good mood." Ringo said and George frowned "Sorry. I wish ye were!" John just smirked and he started playing.

Here I stand, head in hand
Turn my face to the wall
If she's gone, I can't go on
Feeling two foot small...

Everywhere people stare, each and every day...
I can see them laugh at me, and I hear them say...

HEY! You got to hide your love away...
HEY! You got to hide your love away...

As John continued to sing, Ahme smiled and turned her attention to Paul. George growled and he looked at his lover, who just frowned so George grinned at him.

How can I even try?
I can never win.
Hearing them, seeing them
In the state I'm in...

How can she say to me, "Love will find a way?"
Gather round, all you clowns...
Let me hear you say...

HEY! You got to hide your love away...
HEY! You got to hide your love away...

The gardener ended the songs with his flute, as he sat on George's bed. When he had finished, Ahme pulled out something in her bag. It was a large syringe needle. When he saw it, George gasped out loud. "Oh fuck! Ritchie!" Then he fainted on the couch. "What the fuck Geo?" John asked, sitting near Ahme. "Now see what you made him do with your filthy eastern ways!" "But it is not me with these filthy eastern ways," Ahme exclaimed. "It is Klang with his filthy eastern ways!" She said and John replied "How are we to believe that you're not as filthy, sent by Klang to get the ring by acting filthy, but you've already lulled us with your filthy eastern ways?" "What filthy ways are these Johnny?" Paul asked his lover and Ringo said "Yer not putting that damn thing on me! I 'ate needles and Georgie! Wake up!" George still didn't wake up from his faint and Paul frowned. "What's with the damn ring anyways?" John asked and Ahme replied "Well, we use it to show who the person, whom is going to be sacrificed so that everyone else can congratulate him or her! My sister was chosen but now she is safe! But sadly it's now a new day, a new victim is chosen...and it is the one who is wearing the dreaded ring." "No! Georgie! Wake up so ye can protect me!" Ringo cried and he reached over to George. Paul thought of something "Wake up Geo! Rings is safe now!" But George still didn't wake up. "I'll go get us some fish and chips, maybe that'll get Geo up! Come 'ead Johnny!" Paul said and John along with him walked out to get fish and chips.

The gardener had to leave but he wished them all the best of luck. Luckily the fish and chips woke up George and he sat beside Ringo 'protecting' him from evil and Klang. After the five had their lunch, George laid Ringo down on Paul's bed. He kissed him softly on the lips "Ye'll be okay, I'll be beside ye the whole time." He sat beside John on the piano bench though so Ahme could get the supplies she needed out. "That medicine is going to shrink Ringo's finger so the ring slips off right?" Paul asked and Ahme nodded "Yes, it's only temporarily!" "Be careful though! I'm allergic to penicillin and them wonder drugs!" Ringo said and he held out a pack of gum "Gum, Geo?" George nodded and he sat down beside Ringo. He took a piece and he smiled at his lover. Paul was holding Ringo's hands down but George was watching carefully because if Paul hurt his fragile lover in any way he'd kill him.

John was looking at Paul and there was a loud knocking noise on the door. Ahme gasped and the needle fell down from her hands. It hit Paul's leg injecting the medicine into the bassist's veins. "Damn!" Paul cursed and all of a sudden Paul was gone! "Paulie?!" John gasped "Where are ye darling?!" "Where's Paul?" Ringo gasped and George shrugged "I don't know but at least yer okay, Ritchie." He pecked Ringo on the lips and he said "Hide." Ringo nodded and the other three Beatles quickly got up. Ringo hid under Paul's bed, George and John hid on both sides of the door, John had a lamp in his hand and Ahme was pacing back and forth. But poor Paul had shrunk to at least half a foot off the ground. He completely shrunk, and was without any clothes! Fortunately, he found a discarded gum wrapper and wrapped it around his body. Then, he slid into the ash tray "Damnit! Johnny!" He growled and he sat there pouting.

There was a loud "Kaili!" along with a window breaking. One thug grabbed Ringo and Ringo started screaming for help "Ritchie!" George yelled and he tackled the thug "No one tries to kill or even touch me Ritchie and gets away with it!" He screamed and Ringo quickly ran to his room. John was hitting one with the phone and George growled. The thug that George was attacking kicked him in the stomach and Ringo screamed "Watch out Georgie!" The thug almost stabbed him with his scimiatar and George quickly took it from the thug. Ringo quickly went towards his vending machines. As he did, he heard someone sneaking up behind him. Without flinching, he pressed a button on one of the machines. As oranges and orange soda sprayed everywhere! Ringo turned around, seeing Bhuta being attacked. In his hands was a bucket of red paint. The drummer immediately kicked Bhuta in the shin and pulled the bucket away, bashing the cultist on the head. Paul muttered to himself as he tried to remove the orange soda on his body and the gum wrapper wasn't absorbing it well!

John immediately began to choke his attacker...but he grabbed George instead, so the two were choking each other. "Get off, that's me!" John wheezed and George gasped "Sorry!" the two stepped back. They observed one of the cultists jump toward them, only to fall onto the ground in pain. George looked at Ringo and he thought "Damn, my princess is soo beautiful and I want 'im to know 'e's a damn good fighter as well, damn, it reminds me of that one day when w-"His thoughts were cut short when he saw Bhuta slowly get up as he fumbled for something in his coat. Ringo began to march towards him, ready to get him in the face...until Bhuta threw a spare bucket of paint on hand onto his coat. The drummer looked down at his coat with some silence...and soon began to cry. "G-Georgie!" Ringo cried "Ye bastard! I love this suit! Ye fucking ruined it!" George got up but there was a gunshot and he quickly ran over to Ringo. The thugs also ran out. There was Foot and Algernon were in there flat "Which one has the ring?" Foot asked and Algernon answered "That one y'know the one with the large ned." "Neb!" Ringo corrected and he pointed to his nose "Keep your hands up!" Foot said and Ringo put his hand back up along with the other two Beatles. "Typical! 'ow can I get me ring with me 'ands 'eld up?!" "In the name of science, I demand that ring." Foot declared and Ringo nodded "'ere! Fucking take it! I don't want any part of it! Please!" The drummer tried his hardest to pull the ring off, stomping his foot as he did. Then he realized something all of a sudden! Paul was the size of a mouse!

"Uh oh..." Ringo said quietly, looking at the bottom of his shoe. "Please don't let it be Paul." At that, Paul appeared in his suit. "Where've you been?" George asked and he wrapped his arms around Ringo. "What are they doing 'ere?!" "We thought that was ye!" George said, pointing to the stain on his lover's boot. But Foot tried to fire a shot and John growled "Get out!" Sensing the defeat, Algernon and Foot stepped back. "This is the thing with British firearms." Foot complained "They always fail. If I had a Luger! "The scientists walked out and George had Ringo in his arms. The Beatles looked around Ahme was gone and they shrugged their shoulders. "Where can we go?!" Ringo cried and George kissed the top of his head. "The Alps!" John said and Paul raised an eyebrow "The Alps?" "Yeah! It's fucking cold there so I doubt that they'll be there!" "Yeah! Let's go there!" George said and Ringo nodded. It was official; the Beatles were going to the Alps. Hopefully they would be safe…...or would they?

Chapter 5: The Alps:

I think I'm gonna be sad

I think it's today, yeah

The girl that's driving me mad

Is going away

She's got a ticket to ride

But she don't care

She said that living with me

Is bringing her down, yeah

For she would never be free

When I was around

She's got a ticket to ride

But she don't care

I don't know why she's riding so high

She ought to think twice

She ought to do right by me

Before she gets to saying goodbye

She ought to think twice

She ought to do right by me

I think I'm gonna be sad

I think it's today, yeah

The girl that's driving me mad

Is going away, yeah, oh

She's got a ticket to ride

But she don't care

I don't know why she's riding so high

She ought to think twice

She ought to do right by me

Before she gets to saying goodbye

She ought to think twice

She ought to do right by me

She said that living with me

Was bringing her down, yeah

For she would never be free

When I was around, oh

She's got a ticket to ride

But she don't care

My baby don't care

The Beatles arrived at the Alps and they all decided to go and have a try at skiing. Ringo looked at George "I 'ad a nightmare last night Georgie." "Ye did what 'appened?" "Well…... I was kidnapped again but then yeh rescued me!" Ringo smiled and George chuckled. He kissed Ringo lightly on the cheek and Ringo blushed "Yer cute when ye blush." "Aw, shut it Geo." Ringo said burying his slowly burning face in George's chest. George smiled and he hugged him.

Ringo was trying his best at it but he fell. George helped him up "Ye can do it! Jus' keep trying!" "Okay, I am Geo!" Ringo replied and George waited for Ringo and the duo continued on skiing. Paul was much better at skiing than the others (he hasn't even done this before!) and John was smiling. "Paulie! Stop showing off! It's turning me on!" "Ugh! Johnny shut up!" Paul yelled and John started laughing. He quickly went up to him, kissing his lips. "Johnny! Not in public!" "Oh Paulie, ye know ye enjoy it!"

After they finished skiing the Beatles decided to go sledding. Paul and John where on the bottom, George was on top of them and Ringo was on top of George. Ringo had his arms draped over George's shoulders and George was holding the handles in front of Paul and John. The Beatles were having the best time but what they didn't know was that the scientists Foot and Algernon were there as well. They were in a ski loft and they were waiting for the Beatles to come. When they did, they let down a rope. Poor Ringo had his foot up and the rope was around his left ankle. He was lifted up into the air. "Geo! Wait!" Ringo cried as the others were going away and he was swung around a post "Mind tha' post!" He cried and the poor drummer was hanging down. Luckily for him the rope started braking and a few seconds later it snapped. He tumbled down the hill and he got up and he started running to his friends. When they got to him, he quickly got back on top of George. They all toppled off the sled and Ringo showed George the rope "Georgie! Look! Those damn scientists are 'ere!" "What?!" "Yeah! Didn't ye notice that I wasn't on top of ye." "Kind of. Well at least yer okay but that was too close!" "It was!" Ringo declared and George nodded. John and Paul looked at each other; they really needed to watch out.

Now George, Ringo, and John were playing curling...well not really they were really just messing around. "'ere ye are Ritchie!" George yelled and he threw the curling stone to his lover. "I've got it!" Ringo announced as he was sweeping at the stone but he missed "I 'aven't got it!" George chuckled and John smiled at Paul who was watching them "Ye can do it Johnny!" George smiled at Ringo and Ringo smiled back.

George was handed another one but what he didn't notice was it was smoking-wait what? "'ey! It's a thingy! A fiendish thingy! Run Ritchie!" George screamed and Ringo looked at him. John ran off over to Paul and George ran over grabbing his lover and holding him back away behind a rope. "Just what I thought! Useless!" Someone said "It's them!" Ringo gasped and George growled. Algernon looked at Foot and he sighed. Then an explosion and the Beatles gasped "That would 'ave been 'orrible if Rings was there." Paul whispered and Ringo nodded. "White Cliffs of Dover?" Asked a swimmer who appeared out of the hole in the ice. John pointed to the other way and the man sighed and he went back under.

"Bhuta here they come!" Klang yelled as the Beatles were skiing by. "In the name of Kali! Stop!" Bhuta yelled as John and Paul were passing. They both grabbed his arms and slammed him into a tree. George was helping Ringo avoid the thugs. They passed Ahme who was dressed in a snow-woman outfit holding a sign that said 'STOP'. She pointed to the other direction and the Beatles went that way. "This way swami!" She yelled as Klang was skiing that way. He did a record jump and he landed. Two men grabbed him and placed him on a stand that has '1,2, and 3' on it They put flags up and a band started playing. The Beatles were among the crowd and they were playing as well. John had a trumpet, Paul had a clarinet, Ringo had a bass drum and George had cymbals. George was eating on of the cymbals though...why Ringo guessed that his lover was just hungry.

The Beatles were skiing for the last time that night when they passed Klang! He had a flame thrower and it caught the Beatles the top of their ski poles on fire. They quickly skied to a train station and John told the man "London, four."

Chapter 6: Scotland Yard

"Red?" Superintendent Gluck asked and Ringo nodded "They 'ave to paint me red 'fore they chop me, it's a different religion than ours...I think." "So these are the famous Beatles." Gluck said and George nodded. "So this is the famous Scotland yard." John laughed and Paul smiled. George looked at Ringo and Ringo frowned at him. "I'm in fear of me life, y'know!" Ringo complained and George nodded. "'e is, 'e's now terrified of 'is own shadow!" "Geo! That was a secret!" "Sorry Ritch." The phone rang and Gluck answered it "Yes?" "Ringo please." "It's for you the famous Ringo." "'old on! It's them!" John cried "Doesn't me and Paul only know we're 'ere?!" "I know we're 'ere!" George said and John growled "Of course yeh fucking do!" "Go to the window!" The Beatles quickly covered their ears and Gluck stood up and he slowly walked to the window, and an arrow with a balloon hit the wall beside George. He quickly got down and another arrow came through and hit the balloon, popping it and red paint dripped down. George grabbed Ringo and the all unplugged their ears. "See! Now yeh believe us!" Ringo cried and Gluck nodded "Yes and thousands wouldn't!" He turned to George as he grabbed the phone. "Dial 9-9-9!" George nodded and he dialed the number.

The Beatles were at Salisbury Plain recording their songs so that they could get them done. Soldiers were watching the perimeter and they had their guns out ready to shoot the cult members.

You don't realize how much I need you

Love you all the time and never leave you

Please come on back to me

I'm lonely as can be

I need you

Said you had a thing or two to tell me

How was I to know you would upset me?

I didn't realize as I looked in your eyes

You told me, oh yes, you told me, you don't want my lovin' anymore

That's when it hurt me and feeling like this I just can't go on anymore

Please remember how I feel about you

I could never really live without you

So, come on back and see just what you mean to me. I need you

But when you told me, you don't want my lovin' anymore

That's when it hurt me and feeling like this I just can't go on anymore

Please remember how I feel about you

I could never really live without you

So, come on back and see just what you mean to me

I need you

George smiled back at Ringo and he blushed. George had written this song for his Ringo and grinned. Paul turned to John and he smiled "They 'aven't come for Rings since yesterday...so maybe they gave up." He thought and Ringo sighed, George was going to take him out on a date later tonight and he was excited for that. The song ended and Paul moved over to the microphone George was just at. George quickly kissed Ringo on the cheek and Ringo smiled. "Love yeh Georgie-bear." "Love yeh too Ritchie." Paul smiled "C'mon let's start our next number!"

We said our goodbyes, ah, the night before

Love was in your eyes, ah, the night before

Now today I find you have changed your mind

Treat me like you did the night before

Were you telling lies, ah, the night before?

Was I so unwise, ah, the night before?

When I held you near you were so sincere

Treat me like you did the night before

Last night is a night I will remember you by

When I think of things we did it makes me wanna cry

We said our goodbye, ah, the night before

Love was in your eyes, ah, the night before

Now today I find you have changed your mind

Treat me like you did the night before

Yes

When I held you near you were so sincere

Treat me like you did the night before

Last night is a night I will remember you by

When I think of things we did it makes me wanna cry

Were you telling lies, ah, the night before?

Was I so unwise, ah, the night before?

When I held you near you were so sincere

Treat me like you did the night before

Like the night before

Then at the last notes of the song there was an explosion and Ringo screamed. George ran over to him and the Beatles started running as the soldiers started shooting. George grabbed Ringo's hand and the duo ran close to each other. John was making sure Paul wouldn't fall. They ran past a tank but John gasped "Can't 'e see us?!" They ran faster but John tripped and fell. "Johnny!" Paul cried and he tried to help him "STOP! STOP!" Paul screamed and George growled. Ringo was pale and George thought he would keel over and die any second. George held him and the tank stopped, Ahme popped out "In here!" The Beatles nodded and John got up finally. The Beatles all got into the tank and they drove off. George was stroking Ringo's hair, trying to calm him down. A few minutes later Ahme said "We need to jump out when I say jump!" The Beatles nodded and George held Ringo close to his chest and Ahme yelled "Jump!" They all quickly jumped out and they waited in a thing of hay until Klang and his followers thought they were dead. Ahme laughed "There must be somewhere in England where someone can think!"

Chapter 7: A Well Known Palace:

The Beatles were hiding at Buckingham Palace and George and Ringo were playing poker. George winked at Ringo and Ringo smiled and he almost dropped his cards. George always knew how to make Ringo blush and so he could look at his cards. "Yeh aren't getting me this time Geo!" George smiled and he quickly kissed Ringo on the lips. Ringo blushed deep red but still didn't let George look at them. Paul and John were talking "Y'know, I think that they're ugly! Y'know Paulie!" "'ands!" "Some are anyways." Paul turned to Ringo. "Jus' cut this one 'and!" Paul yelled and Ringo frowned. George bit his lip and John and Paul continued about Ringo's hand. "It'll be like getting a tooth out!" Paul said and John said "Besides! We're wasting time protecting a useless member!" "'ey! Yer talking about me future wife! Be nice about 'im!" George said and John had a knife "Cut!" "NO!" Gluck came in with some tea and George asked "So are yeh gonna cut it Ritchie?" "NO! I'M NOT GONNA CUT IT! LET IT BE AN END TO IT!" Gluck frowned and Ringo whispered "I'm not gonna leave 'ere alive!" "What's that?" George asked "What?"

He pointed to a painting "Tha' whirrly thing coming out of 'is stomach?" "It's only a 'ose." "It's for yeh." John grabbed it "Then let's stick it out the window then." They stuck it out the window. Then Foot came in "The ring!" He held up a gun "You there." Ringo stood beside George and George growled. Then Gluck shot his gun in the air and George tackled Ringo. "LET'S GET THEM!" John yelled as Foot ran off. The Beatles quickly tried to follow but then a machine made them slow down. "It's a rela…...tary…...comenzers!" "Bad machine!" George yelled

There followed one more fiendish attempt on poor Ringo's life:

The Beatles were walking "We are on a friendly walk with the police down to the river!" George said and they saw a band. "'ey it's a band!" John said and they walked over to them but then the bagpipes shot out red paint. "Paint!" John yelled and George quickly grabbed Ringo and they ran into a pub. "Nice pub!" John noted and Ringo looked at George and George shook his head. "Sorry, Ritch." Ringo sighed "I'm paying. Two larmies and lime and two larmies and lime." The Beatles sat down on the bar stools. "Why don't ye just get it cut off? Ye don't miss yer tonsils now do yeh?!" Paul asked and Ringo replied "'ow do yeh know?!" "Well they did make ye collapse in George's arms and miss a tour!" Ringo growled and the waitress set down their glasses. Paul sipped at his and John smiled "It won't be that bad Ring." "Yeah, yer a Beatle so that means that yer finger is worth at least a lot of quid a week!" "Georgie that made no sense." George shrugged and Ringo tried to lift up his beer but he couldn't. George looked at him "Aww, does me princess need 'elp." Ringo blushed and George smiled. He just knocked over the glass and a trapdoor opened and his lover fell down on his ass. "GEORGE!" Ringo cried "Sorry, baby!" George turned around and he saw Klang. George growled and the Beatles ran but the doors were guarded so they decided to jump through the glass window. "Your famous Ringo is safe!" Gluck yelled and George shook his head "NO 'E ISN'T!" "What?!" They quickly ran back and Ringo looked up, he was with a small tiger. "Oh look it's Roger the famous man eater from the Berlin zoo! He knows all the classics. All you have to sing to calm him down is Beethoven's 'Ode To Joy' from the famous 9th symphony!" Ringo smiled up at George and Gluck started singing 'Ode To Joy' and Ringo sighed as the tiger was calm. He was safe...for now...

Chapter 8: The Bahamas:

The Beatles were at the airport and they were in disguises. Paul turned around "Who let it out?" Ringo asked "We aren't going there Ringo!" Paul said and Ringo sighed...this was going to be a long trip!

At the Bahamas:

For I have got another girl, another girl.

You're making me say that I've got nobody but you,

But as from today, well, I've got somebody that's new.

I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want,

For I have got another girl, another girl.

She's sweeter than all the girls and I met quite a few.

Nobody in all the world can do what she can do.

And so I'm telling you, "This time you'd better stop."

For I have got another girl. Another girl.

Who will love me till the end.

Through thick and thin

She will always be my friend.

I don't want to say that I've been unhappy with you,

But, as from today, well, I've seen somebody that's new.

I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want,

For I have got another girl. Another girl.

Who will love me till the end.

Through thick and thin

She will always be my friend.

I don't want to say that I've been unhappy with you,

But, as from today, well, I've seen somebody that's new.

I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want,

For I have got another girl. Another girl.

Another girl.

The Beatles were messing around on the beach and then "KAILI!" "Beatles! Over here!" Ahme yelled and they ran over to her and she opened a rock. "In here!" The Beatles nodded and they ran inside the rock. The Beatles looked around "The temple, but Klang needn't bother, 'e won't get me." "Are you Klang's mother?" Paul asked to a woman who was cleaning. She nodded "Yes, and he is a good boy." "Kaili!" "I don't wanna mock anyones religion but 'ere they come!" George said and Ahme gasped "In here!" She opened a whole in the alter that was filled with water. "NO! I can't swim!" Ringo gasped and John said "I'm not going!" But they all did anyways! They ended up in a swimming pool and they got some bikes and they sped off. "We should go to the temple!" "Yeah! We should!" "No they'll disembowel us!" "No they won't that's all gab disemboweling!" Ringo sighed "To the temple!"

They made it to a turnoff and there were red footprints on the road. Paul smiled and he got off of his bike. He started acting like a Native American. "Easterner with greasy feet speak with fork tongue!" "Do they?" John asked and Ringo shock his head "How do yeh know?" "How? I saw those footprints and this guidebook that points to local worship." "To the temple." Ringo frowned and got back on his bike. Paul whistled to his but it fell because of the wind and he jumped back on it. They along with the police followed them and Ringo sighed. "So this is the temple?" Gluck asked and George held onto Ringo's hand. "It should be, it's on the map for it being 'ere!" Paul said and George frowned. "It's gone!" "Was there ever a temple here Sargent?" Gluck asked to the man behind him "No, never in a million years sir." The Beatles sighed and they walked into the building. They explored it and George let go of Ringo's hand, and kissing his lover on the nose. "I'll never let them 'ave yeh, we've made it too far Ritchie." George whispered and Ringo nodded. They walked different ways and then a cage fell upon Ringo, Paul and John. "Ritchie!" George gasped "I'm off!" "NO! GEORGIE! COME BACK!" Ringo cried and Gluck walked up to it along with the sergeant. He put his hand on it and he cried out. "They electrified it with high tension! H.T." "Those fiends!" Ringo growled and a trap door opened and Ringo fell. Foot and Algernon covered an orange blanket around him and they picked the drummer up and they carried him out. "NO! GEORGE! 'ELP!" Ringo cried "'ELP ME!" He was put into the trunk of a pink car and the two scientists got into the car. They drove off but George quickly jumped onto the trunk of the car, bound to save his blue eyed princess.

"There's one in the back but it's not the right one!" Algernon said and Foot turned around and he saw George. He rolled the window down and he got halfway out of the car. He started to grab at George "Come here boy!" George growled and he started hitting Foot's hand. "I'm 'ere for ye Ritchie, I won't let anyone take yeh again. I love yeh too much...yer me princess..." George thought and Algernon tried to knock him off but he failed. He tried again slamming into a tree but George quickly jumped onto a tree branch. Foot looked up for George "That done it he's gone!" George quickly jumped down and he opened the trunk. "Georgie!" Ringo cried, he had tears in his eyes. George hugged him quickly and he grabbed a hubcap wrench. He popped off the hub cap and he started to unscrew the bolts. Ringo sighed, his prince charming had rescued him and as George finished unscrewing the tires bolts Algernon finally got the car to start. George quickly jumped onto the edge of the trunk. He grasped Ringo's hand. "I'll protect yeh I promise..." George thought and then the wheel came off and George fell on his cheek. George quickly got up and he picked Ringo up bridal style and he quickly knocked on the window "Ta for the lift sailor!" He ran off and Ringo kissed him "Ta for saving me, Georgie." George grinned "It was nothing Ritchie." Then they saw the police car and it stopped for them. George and Ringo sat in the back together and Gluck said "I've got a plan!" "A very famous plan!" Paul said and George smiled. "Yes, I've got a plan!" Gluck said and Ringo nodded...just how good was this 'famous plan' anyways?!

Chapter 9: The Very Famous Plan and The End:

Paul was disguised as Ringo and he smiled. Then a coconut was thrown on the bassist's head and he was knocked out. Then the cult members grabbed him and the realized something-that wasn't Ringo...then the Bahamas' police came and arrested the cult members.

John was disguised as Ringo as well and he was kicking a ball when the cult members came. John smirked and then the ball they were playing with exploded, knocking John out and they also figured out that wasn't Ringo! But the police came again arresting the members.

George smiled he was taking Ringo out on a date. George smiled but then he turned around. Ringo gasped and George pulled him close to his chest. A cult member grabbed the duo but luckily George pinned the member down to the ground "Ritchie! Run!" Ringo nodded and he ran off. George then let go of the thug and he ran off, trying to find his lover. "RITCHIE! RINGO! " George called and John growled "RINGO! RICHARD!" But no answer and George growled "Me princess is gone! Where did me Ritchie go?!" His mind screamed.

Little Did They Know That He's Prisoner...

Ringo was strapped on a stretcher, on a boat, and he sighed. "This isn't fair! I want Georgie!" Foot smiled "Finally I can have the ring!" Algernon replied "It took you this long." He sat his hand down by Ringo's head and Ringo tried to bite him. But Algernon quickly removed his hand. "Scalpel!" Foot cried and Algernon repeated "Scalpel!" He handed the tool to him "You wouldn't want me to go in with a blunt scalpel now do we." Ringo shook his head and then Foot went over to a sharpener. When he pressed a button for it to work—-it didn't. Ringo sighed and then he saw Ahme. She quickly unstrapped Ringo. "Is that?" "Yes, the distilled extract essence of orchids, I got some more this morning!" Ringo smiled and Foot turned around. He pointed a gun at them. "Stop! Wait...what's that?" "Distilled extract-" "Essence from orchids! It is?!" "Yes, sir." He grabbed it "This will get me a peace prize for sure!" "But the ring?" Ahme said "Who needs a ring when you have this?!" Ahme and Ringo shrugged and they turned around to the other side of the boat. "Wait...it's all in Eastern!" Foot gasped as he tried to read what was in the liquid. "Don't you know how to read it Algernon?" Algernon shook his head "We'll have to get it translated!" Ahme signaled Ringo to jump into the water and the duo did.

Ringo gasped "I-I can't swim!" "What?!" "I 'ave Georgie 'elp me swim!" Ringo screamed as some thugs swam towards them and grabbed them. Ringo screamed again and he fought but...it wasn't working so he gave up...

Ringo and Ahme were being tied down by their wrists and Ringo was being painted red. "JUS' WAIT UNTIL ME MATES AND ME FUTURE 'USBAND GETS YE!" Ringo screamed and Klang laughed "I don't think so. We have set up some rifle men to shoot them, you see, they're quite merciless. One word from you and you die instantly." Ringo gasped and his mind screamed "N-no! George and I made it too far to quit now!" Klang started chanting and Ringo bit his lip. He turned his head and he saw his mates John and Paul and his lover...his prince charming George. "RITCHIE!" George screamed and the rifle men raised their guns. Ringo gasped and he quickly got loose from the ropes holding him down. "GEORGIE! NO!" Then as he flung his hand the ring fell off "It's off! I'M SAVED!" Ringo said tearfully and he quickly grabbed the ring.

He put it on Klang's finger "I don't subscribe to yer religion!" He quickly ran over to George "Georgie!" Ringo cried and George grabbed him, embracing him. "Oh God! I thought I'd lose ye." George whispered and Ringo held onto him tight "I-I did too, Georgie." George kissed him and said "Yer all red again, Ritch." "I know, I think I'm beginning to like it!" John smiled and Ahme yelled to Klang. "Ha! To he who wears the ring!" She pointed the knife that was originally to be used to kill Ringo at him. George didn't want to let go of his lover. So he picked him up bridal style, they didn't even pay attention to what was happening behind them. George kissed him again and Ringo smiled "I missed yeh, I thought I was gonna die!" "Ye won't now though!" George grinned and Ringo sighed "I'm glad I 'ave someone like yeh Geo-bear."

George smiled "I love yeh Georgie." Ringo whispered and George nodded "I love yeh too, me princess." Ringo smiled and George knew that his lover—-no wait George's future wife was safe, the cult couldn't get him again and the scientists gave up as well. So they were all safe...for now…...just kidding, they just weren't safe from fangirls!

-The End-