I don't own Game of Thrones nor ASoIaF!
What if GRRM were a chick lit author with zero tolerance for death, sad endings, unfairness, dead Starks but a sucker for true-love-wins all and happiness?
One-Shots about various characters and how their lives would have evolved if GRRM weren't…well…GRRM.
This is something that came to me at 2 am.
Chapter 1: Lyanna Stark and Robert Baratheon
Lyanna Stark and Robert Baratheon were in love when Rhaegar Targaryen abducted her. Together with Eddard Stark, Robert starts his rebellion, defies the Targaryens, wins Lyanna back and becomes the king of the Seven Kingdoms because, duh, the knight in shining armour always wins at the end and gets his happily ever after.
This story takes place about 20 years after that…
"Robert Baratheon! If you do not stop ogling the wench, I'll hit you so hard with this jug of wine that you'll not remember your name for a decade!"
"Lyanna, love! I wasn't 'ogling' her, I just looked if she was fit to be wed to my favourite groom, Manfrey. You know the one who is very ambitious and dutiful? I wanted to do him a favor!"
"Robert Baratheon! Don't you dare lying to me! I saw that you were looking at her bosom!" The queen was furious. Even after 20 years of marriage her husband couldn't stop his antics. True, he was faithful to her but still, Lyanna was born a Stark and Starks weren't known for their mild temper.
"What'd you do if I stared at other men the way you stare at women? If I flirted with, say, Jaime Lannister? Would you sit next to me and say nothing?"
Her husband stopped watching the buxom serving maid and looked at the man, his wife mentioned, Ser Jaime Lannister of Casterly Rock. He was now whispering to his wife Cersei Lannister who was known as the most obnoxious woman of King's Landing. Robert shuddered at the thought of how his father had tried to win Cersei's hand for him, thinking that Robert marrying the daughter of Tywin Lannister, the richest lord of Westeros, would help the penniless house of Baratheon.
"I wouldn't mind if it was Ser Jaime you were flirting with. Poor man! He has to endure Cersei! Marrying a wildling from beyond the wall would've been a better fate. You know how my late father intended to marry me off to her? Luckily, I was already in love with you for if I had taken Cersei as my wife either she'd killed me or I would."
Lyanna smiled but didn't forget to stomp on his feet with her heeled foot.
"Owww! Woman! What was that for?" Robert all but roared.
"This is your punishment. And if you don't stop looking at women who aren't me, you can spend this night and the next hundred alone in bed."
Robert pouted but stopped doing so when he realized that this small exchange between his wife and him didn't go unnoticed between his guests who were sitting at the big table.
So he decided to do as his wife said and turned to the Lord Commander of his Kingsguard, Ser Barristan Selmy to discuss politics with him.
It was his son's 18th name day and every important Lord and Lady from near and far had come to the Red Keep to celebrate with Rickard Baratheon, the future king of the Seven Kingdoms.
Rickard, who was named after his maternal great father, Rickard Stark, Lord of Winterfell was not happy. His betrothed, Lady Kaela Karstark, his uncle Ned and his cousins Robb and Jon, who were the same age as him, promised to come to King's Landing for his name day but due to bad weather – damn those snow storms! – were severely delayed. He had looked forward to meeting them for it had been almost three years when he last saw them when his family went to Winterfell to visit his mother's family and congratulate the Starks upon the birth of their son, Rickon.
And now he was left in the company of his two sisters, Cassana and Argalia, his infant brother Steffon and the insufferable git Joffrey Lannister.
"You know that it doesn't suit the crown prince to sulk on his name day," said his sixteen-year old sister, Cassana who stopped talking to her friend Lady Liya Warth and came to his side.
"And what do you care? Don't you have a knight to drool over, sister?"
"Stop changing the subject, you moron! I know that you're disappointed that uncle Ned and Kaela couldn't make it on time but you saw the letter they sent, too. They will arrive in a fortnight. Consider it as a belated name day present."
"Speaking of presents, what did you get me?"
"Didn't I tell you to stop diverting the attention from the current topic? Why is it so hard for you men to talk about feelings? Your manhood wouldn't magically disappear if you'd admit that you miss your family!"
"I don't…didn't…" He didn't know what to say. His sister was right, like always but he wouldn't own up to it.
Cassana sighed. "Very well. You can't even object to what I said.
As to your present, Argalia and I, we both got you something together. It'll be presented to you when this feast is over."
His sister stood up and went to Argalia who helped Steffon to eat his chicken. They both looked up when they saw Cassana. Argalia whispered something whereupon the older girl rolled her eyes.
Rickard caught his mother's eye who smiled at him encouragingly. He knew that Lyanna was worried that her brother Eddard was on the road during the season of snow storms. Growing up in the North, she knew how dangerous the weather could become and even though she was happy at the prospect of seeing her brother and her nephews, she was very afraid of the long and perilous journey they were taking.
After her oldest brother Brandon died during Robert's Rebellion and the youngest of the three boys, Benjen, decided to join the Night's Watch, Ned was the only one left to her. He had always been her favourite brother and the thought of losing him made her eyes well up with tears.
"Don't be stupid, Lyanna! They will be here soon and won't die because of a stupid storm. Northerners aren't bothered by cold like other people!" thought she.
Suddenly the king stood up and took his goblet. Everyone sitting in the Great Hall did the same.
"Drink in the name of my son, crown prince Rickard Baratheon, my heir and the future king of the Seven Kingdoms!"
The assembled nobles raised too their chalices and followed Robert's example who drank deeply from his wine.
Rickard smiled for the first time during the feast. Not because he felt happy but because he had too. He was the heir of his father's realm and he had to act like it.
When everyone was seated again and turned their attention to the fifth course of the evening – fish pie with crab meat and spinach – Grand Maester Pycelle appeared at Robert's side and said something to him whereat the king smiled and stood up again.
"I have good news for you all! Grand Maester Pycelle just told me that his steward Anthor reported him that a raven from Lord Eddard and his party has arrived" When Rickon heard his uncle's name he looked up from his plate and turned to his father who grinned broadly. "It says that the snow storm subsided earlier than they had anticipated. Lord Stark together with his family and my son's fiancée, Lady Kaela will arrive a week earlier than mentioned in an earlier letter. I will send 20 of my most trusted knights in order to give them the proper escort."
Robert sat back again and began talking to the queen who was very relieved that she'd see her family earlier than she thought.
Rickard smiled. This time it was a true and earnest smile. His uncle and his family plus his future wife couldn't celebrate with him but at least they were safe and on their way to King's Landing.
All was almost well.
This was the first chapter of my story. I'm planning to write about 10-12 chapters which all are loosely connected but can be read as stand-alone one-shots.
DTADAHEE is based both on the books and the show and I try to stay true to as much facts as possible and use e.g canon names but it's AU so there are going to be changes where it fits my story.
I have a few pictures of how I imagine people, who aren't in the books/TV-series to look like. The links to them is on my profile.
Please review and tell me what you think about this story.
