6/8/17

Criminal Minds

Fear

The scene in front of them was horrific. Great swathes of red were smeared over the landscape like some sick finger painting. The leaves on the forest floor were crimson, sticking to each other in the muggy heat. The air was thick with the sharp tang of iron.

Strewn haphazardly across the bloody scene were limbs, decomposing in the sun and swarming with black flies. Their severed ends were rough and jagged, like they had been torn, rather than cut, from their owners.

The team stood rigidly on the edge of the grisly scene, no one wanting to make the first move.

Finally Hotch set his jaw and turned to face his teammates. "I know it's not pretty, but we have to do the best we can," he said, his voice as cool and collected as ever. "Let's spread out."

One by one, everyone fanned out, picking their way carefully through the blood-soaked leaves.

Reid stood where he was for a moment, unsure of where to start. He could feel his brain fogging up a little as he tried to process the massacre in front of him.

Suddenly a heavy hand clapped over his shoulder, and he flinched and started. He looked over to see Morgan standing there beside him.

"You okay kid?" Morgan asked,

Reid nodded, "Um, y-yeah, fine," he said. His voice trembled slightly as he spoke, and his face looked vaguely worried.

"Let's stick together," Morgan said, "c'mon."

Reid followed obediently as Morgan moved off to some trees along the edge of the crime scene. He pulled his sweater vest over his nose and mouth, trying not to gag as the stench of blood and rotting flesh assaulted him the closer he got to the dismembered body parts.

Suddenly Morgan called, "Hey kid, come take a look at this."

Reid looked up and found Morgan squatting at the base of a tree. He made his way over and leaned in to see what had captivated his friend. He spotted it immediately, and shivered. There on the bark was a smeared bloody hand print. It was small, clearly female, and there were clear drag marks in the leaves beside it, speckled with a steady trail of blood, indicating that someone had attempted to pull themselves along, and relatively recently, as the hand print was still sticky, not yet fully dried.

"Look," Morgan said. He pointed in the direction of the drag marks, and it was clear that they continued for a considerable distance.

Slowly, Morgan and Reid followed the tracks and the blood trail, keeping an eye out for any other evidence.

They reached a clearing, and suddenly Reid gasped. There, at the base of a hill, lay a figure. It was barely moving, and it was making an agonised groaning sound.

The profilers ran towards the person as fast as they could, and as they approached, the sight grew sickening.

On the ground lay a young woman. Her long black hair was matted and caked with blood and leaves. She was filthy from head to toe, and the nails of her left hand were coated with dirt and more dried blood. She moaned in agony, and it became immediately evident why.

Reid's stomach lurched as he looked at her. Where her right arm should have been, there was nothing but a jagged stump with blood pouring steadily from it. He felt bile rise to his throat as he realised that one of the arms back at the crime scene they had just left must be hers.

Morgan crouched down next to her and spoke quickly but softly, "Hey, it's okay, we got you, you're safe now. We're with the FBI, we're gonna get you home, okay? We're going to roll you over and get you some help, just hang tight." He looked up at Reid, "Gimme a hand here kid," he said.

Numbly, Reid knelt down on her right side, trying to ignore the hideous stump. He grasped her firmly by the waist and helped Morgan roll her onto her back.

Morgan stood up, "You stay here with her, I'm gonna go tell the rest of the team and get the paramedics here."

Before Reid could protest, he ran off, already digging his phone out of his pocket.

Reid looked helplessly at the tortured form before him. He didn't know what to do, so he did the only thing he could think of. Slowly he pulled her so that her head rested in his lap, and she was looking up at him.

"It's okay," Reid said, trying to smile, "My friend's gone to get help, you're going to be okay."

The woman just stared at him with terrified green eyes.

"What's your name?" Reid asked.

"J-Jackie," the woman said. Her voice was weak and frail, and her lips were dry and cracked, a clear sign of dehydration. Her skin was clammy and ghostly white, and she shivered.

Reid knew she was losing a lot of blood. He pulled off his sweater vest and did his best to lay it over her. Unthreading the lace from his left shoe, he wrapped it tightly around the remains of her right arm, trying to stop the blood flow. His trousers gradually got wetter and wetter as the blood that pooled on the ground seeped into them.

"Jackie," Reid said, tying off the shoelace, "that's a really pretty name. My name's Spencer."

"Sp-encer," Jackie said. Her speech lurched as she started to cough. Blood ran from her mouth and down the side of her chin, and Reid rolled her over onto her left side.

"It's okay, you're okay," he said, holding her shoulders firmly as she coughed and shook. Eventually the hacking stopped, and she reached up with her left arm and grasped his hand that was planted on her right shoulder, squeezing it firmly.

Reid held it tightly as he gently lay her flat again. "It's okay," he murmured, "I'm not going anywhere, help will be here any minute, just hold on." His pitch rose slightly as he willed himself desperately to believe it.

Jackie took a slow, laboured breath. "Thank you," she whispered. Then, as Reid watched, her pupils dilated, and the light left her eyes.

"Jackie?" Reid said, "Jackie, stay with me, Jackie!" He shook her urgently, but her hand, which had moments ago held his so tightly, slipped away and fell to the ground with a soft thud.

Reid's breath caught in his throat and his eyes swam with tears that immediately poured down his cheeks. He hadn't known this woman for more than two minutes, but her death sent a blow to his very core. He started to sob as he hoisted her up into his arms and pulled her farther onto his lap. Very gently he reached out and closed her eyes, then brushed the matted hair from her face. He leaned over until their foreheads were touching, and rocked her as he sobbed.

That was how Morgan, the team, and the paramedics found them when they arrived five minutes later.

No one spoke, but gradually Morgan crouched down next to his distraught friend. "We did everything we could for her kid," he said softly, "you made sure she wasn't alone at the end. We have to let her go now."

Reid didn't look up, or give any indication that he had heard Morgan, he just continued to sob silently, his arms wrapped tightly around Jackie.

"C'mon kid," Morgan murmured gently. He rested a hand on Reid's shoulder, but Reid jerked away like he'd been electrocuted.

"No!" Reid shrieked, scrambling backwards. He released Jackie and scooted away.

"Reid, it's okay," Morgan said carefully. He'd seen this behaviour before from his friend. He didn't want a full-blown autistic meltdown out here in the middle of the woods.

Reid clamped his hands over his ears and moaned. As he rocked slowly back and forth amid the leaves, his fingers snaked into his hair and started pulling hard.

"Hey kid, none of that," Morgan said gently but firmly. He shuffled closer to his friend, still squatting, and reached for one of his hands.

The minute he made contact, Reid screamed, a shrill keening wail like he'd been stabbed. He yanked his hand away and immediately began slamming both fists into his head, clawing at his face and scalp.

"Hey, hey, hey easy!" Morgan said. He stood up and stepped behind Reid, trying to get a grip on his wrists.

Reid's screaming grew worse as he desperately tried to fight Morgan off. He sunk his teeth into Morgan's left hand and bit down hard.

Morgan cried out in pain as he let go of his friend.

Reid scrambled to his feet and took off up the hillside at a dead sprint. His shoe with the missing lace immediately came off, but he ignored it, racing off in one sock-foot. The rest of his team broke into a run as they tried to keep up with him. If they lost Reid while he was in this state, they might never find him again.

Finally the hill levelled off, and eventually Hotch caught up just enough to grab the back of Reid's collar with his fingers. He pulled hard, wrenching Reid back. Hotch's momentum when the two of them collided sent them both sprawling face-first into the dirt.

Reid continued to shriek desperately as he tried to claw his way out from under his unit chief. When this failed, he began to slam his head as hard as he could into the ground.

"Spence, Spence it's okay!" JJ said urgently. She pulled off her jacket and folded it quickly, putting it between Reid's head and the hard-packed earth.

Hotch remained lying on top of the younger man as he grappled with his arms, which were still trying to fight him off.

Rossi stepped in to help, and finally the two of them each held one of Reid's arms immobile.

Hotch leaned in as close as he safely could as Reid's head continued to impact JJ's jacket. "Reid, you're all right," he murmured gently, "you're okay. You need to calm down now, I've got you and you're okay."

He continued to repeat this for another five minutes, as gradually the energy dissipated from Reid's thin frame. The younger man slowly relaxed under the pressure of his friend's weight, and eventually he lay still, silent tears leaking from his eyes and soaking JJ's jacket as he stared blankly out at the forest.

After two minutes of still calm, Hotch slowly sat up, until he was sitting silently beside Reid's prone form.

Rossi slowly adjusted his grip on Reid's arm to help him up, and Reid numbly allowed himself to be propped into a sitting position.

Hotch studied him carefully. After a moment he asked quietly, "Do you want some deep pressure?"

At that, Reid whimpered and scooted closer to Hotch, pressing himself into his chest as Hotch wrapped his arms around Reid's skinny torso and squeezed hard. Reid reached up and gripped both of the older man's hands tightly, as if his life depended on him not letting go.

Over the course of several minutes, Hotch felt Reid's stiff, shaking body gradually relax. His pounding heart slowed, and his breathing became more even and less ragged. Finally Hotch murmured, "Better?"

Reid nodded and slowly dropped his hands, allowing Hotch to release him.

Morgan and Rossi each took an arm and helped him stand up. His legs were still weak and trembling, and he needed both his friends' support to keep him from collapsing under his own weight.

Reid looked at Morgan's left hand, and the clear, deep bite-mark along his thumb joint. He touched it gently and looked at his friend guiltily, remorse painted all over his face.

Morgan smiled slightly, "It's okay kid, it's not the first time I've been bitten, and it won't be the last."

Reid didn't look at all consoled, so Morgan ruffled his hair affectionately, "I promise kid, it's no big deal, I'll just patch it up when we get back to the hotel and it'll be good as new, it's not like you have rabies or anything," he chuckled.

Reid allowed a small, sheepish smile to flit across his face as he rested his head on Morgan's shoulder briefly, trying to impart the thanks and apologies that his mouth and brain currently refused to let him speak.

Morgan got the message, and leaned his head over until it rested on Reid's shaggy curls. "You're okay kid," he said softly.

They eventually reached the top of the hill, and Emily said, "I'll go brief the paramedics, you guys find another way down. I'll grab Reid's shoe while I'm there." The whole team knew that bringing Reid back to Jackie's dismembered body would be a good way to re-trigger the meltdown, and they veered off in a slightly more westerly direction, being sure to avoid the bloody crime scene as well.

Finally they reached the black SUV's, and Rossi and Morgan helped Reid into the back of the closest one.

Before Morgan climbed in beside him, Rossi squeezed Reid's shoulder affectionately. "You're gonna be okay Spencer," he said, flashing his trademark Italian half-smile.

Reid smiled back gratefully, resting his hand on Rossi's. With his other hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a keychain that contained a stack of laminated cards. He flipped through the first few and held one up. "Thank you," it said.

Rossi released Reid's shoulder and nudged it with a gentle fist. "Of course kid," he smiled.

As Rossi walked off, Morgan climbed in beside his friend, and Reid scooted over.

"How you doin' pretty boy?" Morgan asked.

Reid glanced at Morgan and sighed heavily, leaning over to rest his head against the window. He shuffled through his cards once more and pulled out another one. "I'm sorry," it read.

Morgan looked at Reid seriously, pain clouding his dark eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for, y'hear?" he said, "nothing."

Reid pursed his lips and crinkled his brow in worried disagreement, and Morgan clapped him firmly on the shoulder. "I mean it kid, you didn't do anything wrong. You did really well today, staying with that woman in her last moments. You made her feel safe and gave her hope, no one can ask for more than that. Now, no more of this apologising nonsense, understand?" he asked, giving Reid a crooked half-smile.

Reid returned the look and nodded once.

"Good," Morgan said, the smile stretching to the other side of his face. "Now let's get out of here, I need a hot shower and a strong shot of Jack."

Reid let out a small chuckle as Rossi climbed into the driver's seat.

"Hey, no bad influences on the kid!" Rossi said in a tone of mock authority, "we need all his brain cells intact!"

"Really Rossi?" Morgan asked, "gee, that's a shame, and here we were gonna invite you to the party, weren't we kid?"

Reid chuckled again and nodded.

Rossi quirked an eyebrow at them in the rearview mirror. "Well if you put it like that..." he said, smiling.

As Reid returned to resting his head against the tinted window, he sighed contentedly as he listened to his friends joke and tease each other. It was comforting to know that no matter how hard things got, how dark the days became, he could make it through, because he had a family who loved and accepted him, exactly the way he was, and that was the best feeling he could ever ask for.