Yo, this was a collab fic with a friend of mine. We don't own Ouran High School Host Club or Free!.

We will try to aim for weekly updates, but we might not always be on time.

Tamaki was doing his usual whine and "let's bug Kyoya" act. He was curious as to why his darling Mommy never talked about his (her?) family. Most of the host club had seen the incident with Kyoya's father, but that was just about it. Tamaki knew he shouldn't pry, but it was so unfair. Kyoya knew everything about everyone's family, but Tamaki knew next to nothing about Kyoya's. He couldn't keep his curiosity within him. Breathing heavily, he approached Kyoya. He knew that Kyoya wasn't in a good mood, and he might get ignored (as he usually is). Kyoya was currently staring at his computer, deciding if he should censor the twin's nipples or not.

"Mommy?" Tamaki asked shyly.

"Do you need something, Daddy?" Kyoya continued working on his computer, barely acknowledging Tamaki's presence (as he usually would).

"I was wondering if I could ask you a really intimate question?"

"... No I'm not gay," Tamaki was taken aback at this comment and he could also feel a small dab (look at my dab… bitch dab) of disappointment ringing in his chest.

"Well… that wasn't what I was going to ask you, but what is your sexual orientation then?" Tamaki asked, distracted from his original plan.

"What did you want to ask me?" Kyoya's impatience grew and the clicking sound of typing increased.

Tamaki looked towards the side with his hand on his chin, trying to phrase his sentences in his head.

"Tamaki, if you don't ask me then you won't get an answer," Kyoya seemed to be getting more irritable. Maybe he had been secretly sleeping and Tamaki woke him up. Tamaki shuddered at the thought.

"I was just thinking about how you don't really share that much about your family. Maybe we could get in contact with them and have some tea (commoner's coffee)!" Tamaki squeaked.

"You've met my sister Fuyumi, my two brothers, encountered my grandmother, and you've seen my dad before. What else is there to know?" Kyoya was always good at keeping his cool (hence "the cool type" title), but Tamaki knew him better than anyone. Kyoya was annoyed at something and Tamaki was going to find out what.

"I didn't really get to know them though. I just had a brief introduction, if that," Tamaki pointed out.

Kyoya gave Tamaki a glare (glasses and all) and then closed his laptop with a slight click. "There is nothing more to my family that you should care to know," Kyoya started to leave.

"Is there something wrong, Kyoya? You seem to be really upset. Do you have something against your family?" Tamaki was getting worried for his friend.

"Tamaki, I don't want to talk about it. All you need to know is that my family has some strange people residing within the family tree."

Tamaki was starting to get desperate. He decided to bust out the puppy dog eyes. He knew Kyoya would give in.

Tamaki stared- no, pleaded- with his eyes.

"...I'm not tell-"

*stare*

"I said n-"

*stare*

Kyoya looked like he was having a very major conflict within his mind.

*stare*

"Tamaki, stop and I will tell you."

"Mon amie, please do tell!" Tamaki said, as he agreed to Kyoya's deal whilst hugging the shit out of Kyoya.

"Listen, you can't tell anyone else, or I might have to sue you," Kyoya whispered to Tamaki.

"I promise I won't tell anyone, Mommy!" Tamaki was overwhelmed with joy.

"I have a second cousin coming by my place next week," Kyoya whispered to Tamaki.

"You do?!" Tamaki was about to spring off the walls because of the overload of joy he was feeling.

"Sadly, he is bringing some of his friends with him," Kyoya said.

"That is okay with me! I always love more company," Tamaki smiled.

"That's not the point Tamaki. My cousin and I haven't seen each other in years and this was supposed to be the time we catch with each other. The fact that he'll have friends means he'll be sight seeing and since I'm technically the host I'll be funding it." Kyoya was raging at this point.

"Kyoya, you need to stop worrying so much about your 'precious money'. Relax a little, and enjoy yourself for a change!" Tamaki was trying to cheer Kyoya up, "If you want, I could show them around the city. That would make it a lot cheaper for you, and it would mean that I could meet them as well! It is the perfect scenar-"

" are not going to meet them Tamaki."

"Oh come on, Kyoya! Give me a chance! You haven't even given it a second thought," Tamaki whined.

"The idea is so preposterous that it doesn't need a second thought."

"How would it be impossible? It is valid in your situation, Mommy," Tamaki was beginning to get desperate again.

"I don't want my only reasonable family member to be creeped out by some blonde French kid."

"I'm not creepy! I think that I am fairly charming. Maybe I might be too much for him, now that you think about it. My perfection might get to his head…What's his name anyway?" Tamaki asked.

"If I tell you will you please stop pestering me?" Now Kyoya was starting to get desperate as well.

"Of course, Mommy," Tamaki promised.

Kyoya knew he was lying.

"His name is Rei. Ryugazaki Rei, and," Kyoya interrupted Tamaki before he could even ask, "he has a different last name because he is my second cousin."

Kyoya tried to leave the room once more, but was stopped by a certain French bastard pleading- begging on his hands and knees to meet Rei.

"Please! Please! Please! I really want to meet him! I will even pay for all the expenses that should be involved with hosting Rei and his friends. You won't have to pay any money whatsoever!" Tamaki promised. He really wanted to meet Rei… (it was to the point where it was almost an obsession- no it was an obsession). Hell, even the baby seal eyes were ready on command.

Kyoya considered the thought. Not spending (wasting) any money was great, but it was Tamaki. Tamaki. If he was the tour guide, then he'd end up running to all of the 'commoner's supermarkets' and not the actual monuments. Hell, Tamaki would want to do sightseeing himself. All in all, it was a recipe for disaster. But, money wise, it was a great deal. And besides, Kyoya could control Tamaki so it wasn't as if he was sending a bunch of kids with some drunkard in the city.

"Alright you can go-"

"THANK YOU SO MUCH, MOMMY! THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN!" Kyoya was drowning out Tamaki's words, instantly regretting the decision that he had made (even if it was for the greater good (that being money)).