"So, that's why... I'm going to change Britannia into a better country, from the inside out."
He had never known how painful words could be until this sentence hit him. How ironic, he chuckled to himself at the irony. He and his friend, both antagonized endlessly by the Britannic Empire had taken such different paths. The Japanese boy who wanted to change it for the better, and the Britannian who wanted to destroy it. Once friends, now... He didn't want to think about it.
He should have remembered, should have thought about Suzaku's personality, but he had been too excited. His plan was underway, everything was going perfect. Why... why had he so quickly assumed that Suzaku, of all people, would join him? No, not him... 'Zero.'
"You'll be killed!" he found himself saying, once the boy announced his intention to go back to trial. Suzaku just smiled at him, with that smile he'd missed, remembered and craved. "You.. you're an idiot!" He was almost shouting. This was bad, he should be calm... he was a mastermind, right? Zero... so why was he getting all wound up over this? He steadied his breathing, only to have it falter when Suzaku started to speak.
"I... had a friend. He would tell me that all the time," he said, laughing at the memory with a childish innocence he'd kept intact all these years. "I am one... aren't I?" He said, and before he knew it, Suzaku was leaving. Leaving for an imminent death, if not by trial, then by trying to change Britannia. If... not by either of those...then possibly, by--
He didn't want to think about it!
He wanted to shout for him to come back, to scream that it was him, to rip off his helmet and show him the proof, to be able to see Suzaku for one last time face to face, before.
Before...
Lelouch choked down a gasp as he held back a new sensation, one he hadn't felt in ages. It was a soft burning building behind his eyes.
"You... idiot!"
If more than a tear escaped, no one could have known.