"We are not a spiteful people. Kindness is a sum of parts, one of which is forgiveness."
"But such a burden it is. And unto an innocent of noble intent. I fear we perhaps have taken our plan beyond our values of kindness."
"No. They are the only souls incorruptible by her wiles. She does not need magic to restore her power. Only those riddled with vice and weakness."
"Perhaps she, of all villains, is beyond help?"
"If I had my doubts, I would've never considered this. But she is little more than a normal unicorn, now. A mare of deep, burning hatred that we must heal if we desire peace."
"I suppose that is correct… but the methods-"
"We shall see. Equestria has bested foes greater than her. Besides, the human is more than capable of managing his herd."
Anonymous awoke from a peaceful slumber when a rattle shook his modest home. Quaking energy drew him from bed and onto his feet so he could discover what was making such dreadful noise in his house. The morning light weakly shone through the window panes in warm and fluid shades, helping his tired eyes adjust to the world. In his boxers and shirt, the human found the ground floor assaulted by some messy intruder.
"I made quiche." A voice chirped with both feminine and deeply maniacal tones.
A flowing mane of stunning ebony emanated outwards from the grey, sour face of the Queen. Eyes, piercing like needles glowed in deep tinges of sickly green and complimentary crimson of a most unnatural look. Fangs and tusks easily peeked out of her pillowy lips when she grinned, animalistically glimmering with a hunger long forgotten by civilized minds. Her horn jut out of her skull in an arch of fiery red, only a ring strapped to its shaft keeping the devious pony from disintegrating all she saw. The curves of femininity hid beneath the flowing coat of black, only the belly of this threatening creature covered by a cutesy apron.
Queen Umbra. The bane of the Crystal Empire. The darkest sorceress of all unicorns. Master of the mind and deceiver of weak hearts. Once, she stood poised to conquer the entirety of the empire on her own, powered only by magic and her own hunger for power.
Now, she had been demoted to "rehabilitation" in Anon's home. Restricted to her original, physical, unimpressive form. For a diabolical conspirator… she was a little chubby. Perhaps busier sitting than jogging, these days.
Regardless of her rotund haunches, or Anon's severe doubts over her cooking, he nonetheless proceeded forward as if anyone else had offered him food. True to his word to the princesses, he would at least try to follow his appointed mission and help the misguided "Queen." She stared him in the eyes with piercing orbs of mal-intent, as if waiting for him to stick his finger in a bear trap and laugh.
Anon took the warm tin of breakfast in hand and inspected it quickly. Untrained eyes spotted the problem instantly.
"There are razor blades in this quiche." He said dryly, gently placing it in the garbage. Umbra shrugged at him, removing her messy apron and throwing it in his face.
"My mistake, once again the nuances of this culture confound me!" The delightful little mare hummed, taking an expensive pastry and an iced coffee from the counter in her magic. Neither had been touched by the storm she had left in the kitchen.
"Make your own then. If my kindness won't be appreciated here, the Queen shall retire once again." With lifted tail and haughty trot, the black pony made her way to the cushy sofa placed square in the middle of the living room. A pile of blankets became wrapped about her and mountains of pillows supported her ever-fattening body.
Perfectly perched to watch the human get to work cleaning her disaster.
Anon could not know why he and his wife were chosen to shoulder this burden. Why on Earth he, a simple human living a simple life, would be held responsible for the coaching of such profound evil. His wife was no Element of Harmony, nor great warrior, or even a mare of high regard in the town. Derpy Hooves lived her life gleefully as a child, barely keeping her job with cataclysmic disasters wrought on the postal service every other month by her lack of coordination. Truly, she wasn't any great savior of missguided sociopaths, like Umbra.
Regardless, Anon was stuck with his lot and complaining never improved his situation. Rather than sulk, it had become easier to ignore the eternally sassy Queen and just carry on with his life. Perhaps with time, she might even come around and befriend him. He could already imagine Umbra never again putting razors in his food, sprinkling irritating spices in his underpants or shredding all his family pictures into ribbons.
"Good morning, Bubby." The sweet voice of relief called out to her human, following after the grey pegasus as she fumbled down the stairs. Delirius from fatigue, Derpy sauntered to his side and nuzzled herself into the burly human naturally as ever. Even if the top of her head barely came up to his chest, Anon always found it easy to give his mare the sugar she needed. Bending down leisurely, the human planted an adoring smooch right between the sleepy mare's nostrils.
"Morning. You want some breakfast, Mushy?" His wife shook her head lazily, all the while stretching out great wings of silky feathers and alluring smells. Umbra visibly scoffed at the affection both displayed.
"Oh it's alright. I'm not hungry this morning anyway." She said with an adoring smile, rearing up so she could return the smooch. Her warmth was intoxicating and feminine, a magnetic cloud that tugged at every facet of Anon with hooks and chains. The tired human embraced his wife quickly and squeezed her softness. Their kiss tickled down from their lips to their very hearts in pangs of exciting energy and soothing relaxation all at once. Truly, for such a short contact, the feel of Derpy's lips energized Anon.
"Watch the grump then, Mushy. I'm gonna make some coffee and head out in a few." The cross-eyed mare wondered about the kitchen and living room as Anon worked, waving to Umbra with a soft hoof as well.
"Whatcha doing? I thought it was Saturday?"
"It is. But we gotta have more wood for the fire. Snow's gonna come down soon." She nodded as Umbra hissed at her.
"Yes please. Don't do me a favor and freeze to death. That would be ever so bleak." She grumbled, laying around in a display of shocking laziness. Anon huffed and sipped from his mug.
"Any more out of you and we'll go into town. I'm sure that "annoying" and "noisy" farmer's market will have plenty more to look at for a few hours." The dark pony shivered at his threat and glared daggers at him from under her cover.
"Now guys, be nice!" Derpy interjected, hopping up onto the couch with Umbra and unwisely giving her a pat on the side.
"Bubby can get his break and we can have some mare time! Don't you think that'll be fun?"
"I think I'd rather be skinned alive."
"Oh shush! You'll see, Miss Grumpster-dumpster! Anon, Bubby?" She squealed, turning towards you with the brightest of grins.
"Don't you think Umbra would look cute with a new mane? I bet I could do a really great braid if she lets me!" The dark sorceress popped up from her blanket wrapping with teeth bared and eyes wide. This expression quickly softened, however, once she and the hulking human nearby exchanged eye contact.
"Yeah… show her some mare time. That oughta take the fire out of her."
"Mare time" was worse than Umbra imagined. She was funneled into the upstairs bathroom shortly after Anon had gone. Locked inside with Derpy behind her, she stared at herself in the mirror whilst the ditsy blonde fumbled about with all sorts of products and tools.
How far a deity could fall. Once a Queen owed everything… now a simple mare. A squat and chubby fool filled with hatred for those that had forced her here. Celestia and Luna swirled in her mind like fish in pond. Hapless and stupid fish that she eagerly waited to pluck out of the water the instant she had the upper hand. They were foolish to think she could be tamed. They were even more mistaken in believing that a hairless ape and a deformed commoner could turn her! All she had to do was bide her time. Play her cards right. Get the right people on her side and she'd be back on track for her devious plan.
Soon, "mare time" would only be a distant memory whilst she sat atop a throne of ancient stone and sipped wine from the princess' skulls.
"Wooooooow! You have got so much hair!" Derpy giddily commented as her hooves combed through the billowing and curly mane of her brooding friend. It was true, the curls and tumbles of black silkiness carried all the way from her head, to the her knees in length and blooming body. Derpy absolutely fawned over such a shape, fluffing up the expanses of mane and brushing through its innumerable strands. "Tell me, Derpy… why have you settled on this lanky beast?" Umbra cooed, never taking her hypnotic eyes off herself in the mirror. Derpy visibly thought about it in the bright lights of the bathroom, still feeling through the circling cloud of dark hair she had a hold of.
"Lanky who?" She asked, innocently clipping hair pins here and twisting braids there.
"The beast. The one that lacks fur that you call a husband?"
"Oooooh! You mean Anon?"
"Yes. Tell me what you see in him." The queen demanded with a quickly waning patience.
"I dunno… hehe. He's just… he's… he's my husband. I like him." Derpy tittered, blushing ever so slightly beneath her fur and flicking her tail in a filly's excitement. Her heart was already skipping beats at the thought of him. How he'd hold her. How powerful and safe he felt. What boiling pleasure he could bring her. Just the warmth of his presence and the happiness she brought him set her belly ablaze with a glee Umbra so violently hated. She had to suppress her gag reflex in watching Derpy swoon like some school yard hussy crushing on a young stud.
"Indeed… but what do you SEE in him? Hm?" She added, much to Derpy's confusion.
"Do you see a bottom to his well of love? Perhaps a crack in his fortitude?" Derpy blinked as the words crept from her companion's lips like oozing sludge. Her deep voice of cruel intent rattled through the mare's bones like a sound straight from the heavens. A tingling sensation of strange attraction, as if a polite knock had come to her mind's door. Naturally however, Derpy's mind reacted differently than normal to the intrusion of Umbra's persuasive powers.
"Not really. I'm not sure what you mean, but he's really strong! He bought this house and let me live with him. Also, Anon's always been nice to me. Just loves it when I bake him things or give him smoochies." She said with the same childish energy as usual, souring Umbra's already nasty glare.
"But you must see that he is not compatible. With us. Ponies aren't meant to mingle with his kind."
"Oh no. He's a stallion. I double checked." She stated simply, sloppily braiding the bushels of black on Umbra's head into a somewhat elegant twist.
"Ugh, no! His kind. Derpy, one day he will yearn for a mare of his form. And you will be forgotten about. I have seen this many times in my years." Umbra hissed, finding that the mental barrier put up by her target's sheer ignorance thwarted her far better than any magical ward.
"Don't be silly! Me and Anon are married! He doesn't even like griffons, anyway!" She giggled and bushed up the somewhat off-kilter knit she had made, tossing it on either one of Umbra's shoulders.
"He is a stallion, my dear. They lust. It is in the very nature." Derpy paused with a bow in her mouth, as if only now Umbra's sharp words had pierced her mind. Her ears flicked and the bundle of red fell from her teeth in a nervous squeak.
"Well… he kinda does that. I think. But it's really my fault." Umbra cracked a sickening grin of teeth and vile pleasure.
"I'm not saying you should do anything… yet. I'm only warning you. Don't be surprised if you are abandoned. Anon smells of disloyalty." At that moment, Derpy twitched in a confused recoil.
"Abandon? No, no, no! I thought you were talking about how he likes to rump-bump all the time!" Umbra's heart burst in her chest in aggravation.
"He LOVES that! I'm telling you! Every other night he's poking on me and rubbing me, like a kitty!" Umbra glowered at the mirror and simply waiting on Derpy to finish her disgusting tirade. All the while simmering in her own stew of frustration.
"Not that I don't like it. He's really good at it! With those fingers and those muscles… ooh and his big chest… makes me all warm inside." She melted against Umbra's shoulder, spared a quick and painful death by the ring restricting her magic.
"I think it's fun. Even though we haven't made babies yet. I'd really like to have babies soon. OOH! Maybe that would make you feel better? You like babies, don't you, Umbra? You could watch them and play with them when we finally make them! Doesn't that sound nice? Auntie Umbra?" The dark sorceress slammed her face into the counter with a deep groan. This "rehabilitation" would be far more painful than she could've ever imagined.
Some hours later she was able to escape "mare time" and get back to her bed of soft garments and warm peace. She allowed her mane to stay braided and fixed in exchange for a speedy run from Derpy's yapping mouth. She swore that if she heard one more story about Anon's "famous" back rubs, the Queen would drown herself in the toilet. But thankfully, she had her silence again. Anon came back through the front door, but she paid him little mind. At least he could keep quiet.
The human likewise paid the brooding mare on his couch less attention, choosing instead to side step that proverbial land mine and attempt to enjoy the rest of his icy afternoon. He sifted through the cupboard and retrieved the one potion that cured his ailments. Hard liquor poured into a pair of tiny, squat glasses perfect for sipping from. Its benign appearance belied the boiling intensity of the flavor within, something that Anon assumed Umbra could appreciate.
He carefully sat next to her sulking figure and placed a shot before her on the coffee table. At least something to ease the tension. Rubbing his face with tired and cold hands, he spoke quietly so the crackle of the nearby hearth wouldn't be outmatched.
"I understand this isn't the greatest thing that could've happened for you. Really, I do." He started, not looking the dark mare in her bewitching eyes.
"Feels like a real mess, I'm sure. But trust me when I say, it's not bad. Not bad at all." Umbra rolled her eyes at him and magicked the glass closer to her lips with quite some difficulty. As if she were attempting to drink from a led ball.
"Pfft… you know nothing of my humiliation." She barked at him with a similar volume.
"They call me cruel and spiteful? Ha… I'd rather them to have beheaded me than subject me to this foul punishment." Anon huffed and sipped his stinging drink along with her. Both shuddered at its sizzling feel as it moved through their guts.
"Hm. I'm just trying to say. I didn't want you in my house. You didn't wanna come to my house. But, here we are. Both of us kinda got shafted on this one." He grumbled, staring down at her now with the displeasure keen on his features. It was then and only then, that Umbra saw something in him that she hadn't before.
As if new stone had been revealed under centuries of grime and moss, a startling appearance struck her. Anon's usual face of ugly lines and disgusting features now bore an all new manner of… allure. His masculine jaw, his stern brow, those piercing eyes. She could see in him, even in a face so different to those of her own kind, that he was serious. That he was not to be trifled with. That he was the man of this house.
She could sense the authority behind his eyes, orbs of brilliant color that stung her right to the heart with barbs of attraction. Never had Umbra felt this intimidated. This small. This aroused. Her tail flicked and her expression softened ever so slightly, a heat building around her face as she ripped her gaze from his. What could possibly be so enthralling? What sort of magic was he using on her? Was this elixir they shared really a love potion disguised? She had to know, lest her marish disposition make her do something she'd regret. Like show weakness to this vile human.
"What is this potion you serve to me? It's… unique." Anon gave just the slightest little laugh before finishing his own share.
"You don't have it, here. I happened to have a bottle with me when I came from my world." He said, his own cheeks flushing red with the tinge of alcohol.
"Made out of corn, yeast and water. Whisky." Umbra nodded her head and took another sip of the fiery drink. It tickled her tongue and perked her mind, rousing it from a bored delirium of sitting around all day in a stew of hostility. She seemed to enjoy it, swishing it over her teeth and tongue to absorb its full flavor. In truth, she was really trying to discern what manner of potion it was. Imagined or not, she didn't trust it. She needed Anon away from her as soon as possible. He grinned at her as if his guard had been lowered, beckoning the Queen to join him in a moment of friendship.
At least until she turned her head and spit directly in his face.
"There, commoner. I have improved your vile drink." She hissed defensively, placing her glass back on the table and hoping that he'd take his handsome face somewhere else. The human slowly and thoughtfully stood up before wiping the smear of warm spittle from his face. She could feel his anger. She could feel the pounding heart in his chest as it shouted and screamed for him to take action.
The masculine component within him loomed over her, sending electric zings of excitement that Umbra did her best to hide.
"I am trying really, REALLY hard to be nice to you." He said, clenching his fists tightly until the blood ran from his knuckles.
"If you wanna fight me on this one, then remember this little tidbit. The harder you make this, the worse it's gonna get for us." The sheer anger in his voice kept peeling away at her shell, picking and pulling at her composure. How dearly she lacked companionship. Umbra never even knew this weakness lay in her. Perhaps it had been too long since she had known the authority of a stallion. The safety of male muscles. The thrill of being told what to do, for once.
"Threaten me as you will, human." Umbra chided in return, covering her wild blush with hooves of blanket.
"I don't make threats. I only do what I promise to do. Get yourself together, or maybe the princesses will cook up something even worse for you."
"What could be worse than this? Hm? You believe I can sink lower?!" She snapped at him, staring up at his leviathan shape. His deep breaths restrained a hidden anger, one that a slight part of her wished to see. Like wanting an animal to strike just to observe their raw power. Anon knelt down to meet her snarling face, whispering heavily.
"We considered sticking you with Pinkie Pie. But Luna reminded us that in Equestria it's illegal to torture ponies to death." He huffed and trot off to his wife once more, leaving Umbra to bathe in her own miasma of arousal.
"Bubby? Is everything okay?" Derpy hummed from upstairs, silenced quickly by what sounded like a deft kiss.
"Forget about it. I got us stocked up for the winter… just need some down time."
"Anon you- OOH! That's my… nnf." Umbra's ears couldn't help but stand at attention, drinking in the rustling and bumping of Anon and Derpy's "bonding."
"This is really nice. Gah… your hands are cold, Bubby."
"Like you don't love it." Anon answered back with a tone that melted Umbra's mind. If only SHE could have a stallion that would talk to her like that. A stallion that wouldn't quiver and yelp when her massive cloud of black magic engulfed him for a night's fun. As ridiculous as it sounded to her, she was hanging onto every little word and sound the two made. Listening closer and closer until she was staring at the ceiling slack jawed and dripping with interest.
"Mmph! Oh wowie-wow! NNG! A-anon!" Bumping and creaking sounded through the house, coupled with Derpy's muffled cries of pleasure and bliss. Umbra could hear when Anon desperately covered her mouth, only to produce an all new symphony of melodic whimpers and squeals.
She could feel the imaginary fingers digging at her coat. The strength he would use to snap her lips shut. The weight of his body holding her own down. The force of his hips beating against her rump as he claimed his territory. Her heart always lay with stallions of strong spirit and dominant tendencies and Anon sounded as if he could easily fit this role. Her eyes closed and pictured his touch creeping down her body. A stout hand grasping her throat whilst the other explored her marehood.
Finally. Someone to match her. A shameful display, one that woke her from a fog of arousal before too long. An equal to contend to, a challenge to wake her mind from a millenia long stupor. All these centuries without a stallion worthy of her love. A stallion that could earn her respect.
She found her sheets sullied and her surroundings silent once more, say for the fire warming the house. She touched her lips below and found the sugary juices flowed readily from within like rivers of shame.
"Curses." She mumbled, rolling about in a fit of satisfaction and heated yearning. The poor Queen could already tell the loving pair's audible displays would be an all new kind of torment for her.