Rick Sanchez didn't believe in fate. The universe was far too meaningless and unpredictable for events to be predetermined and offer a higher meaning. But perhaps it was serendipitous that out of all possible realities, the Grim Reaper had accidentally arrived at his.
"Hey! This isn't Sassy Cat Land, why are we here, Grim?" Billy complained, after he, Mandy and Grim stepped out of a portal in front of the Smith's garage, that was supposed to have taken them to Billy's favourite amusement park.
"The doofus is right Grim, where did you take us to this time?" Mandy agreed with Billy for once and looked around. Their destination was far from sporting the cheerful and fun sights of Sassy Cat Land. It was just an ordinary suburb, much like their own.
"I don't know Mandy. Me old scythe must be on the fritz." Grim offered them a weak excuse for the mix-up.
"I'm not surprised, that thing's a piece of junk." Mandy wrote off Grim's most powerful weapon with derision, making his face fall at the insult towards the token of his profession.
"Maybe you're here to collect his soul." Mandy pointed in the direction of Rick's body, slumped over his workbench inside the garage.
Walking over to the work bench, Grim turned Rick over to one side and observed a slow, but present rising of his chest as he breathed in and out.
"Mandy, dis man is still alive. If you can call it dat." Grim grimaced after taking a whiff of Rick's alcohol filled breath, from being too close to his face.
"Well, we can't wait all day for him to kick the bucket…" Mandy ruthlessly insinuated what needed to be done. Thankfully, Grim was not one to take someone's life away before their time was up. That and because he didn't like Mandy telling him what to do.
"Wake up old timer! We have places to be!" Grim yelled in Rick's face, making him wake with a fright.
"W-What? Geez! I thought it would be all over by now. So what, are y-you some kind of uuurp Grim Reaper to finish the job?" Rick asked Grim accusingly.
If things had gone according to plan, he wouldn't be having this conversation right now. So, to have the leading authority in death show up to complete his failed suicide, was downright insulting to the man with a hatred for authority figures. If he was going to kill himself, he'd succeed on his own.
"You don't appear to be on my list, Mr. Sanchez." Grim pulled out a clipboard and read from a list of people's names and their living statuses.
"You have plenty of years left in you yet. But not if you keep building these kinds of gizmos." Grim continued and gestured to Rick's death ray.
"Mandy, what's Grim talking about?" Billy asked, oblivious to what had taken place.
"That man tried to kill himself with a death ray, Billy."
"Geez! You're pretty blunt for a kid." Rick made a remark about the little girl who had spoken about his suicide like it was nothing.
"Awww! You shouldn't try to kill yourself, mister." Billy attempted to hug Rick, only managing to embrace his long legs due to his short stature.
"Get the fuck off! I don't even know you." Rick tried to shake Billy off his leg, as if he was trying to get a piece of dog shit off his shoe.
"Mr. Sanchez! Please don't swear in front of the kids!" Grim begged Rick to consider Billy and Mandy. Not only for their feelings, but for his own safety. Because if they came back home with Rick's swearing habit, Grim feared that Bill's mom would try to kill him!
"Speak for yourself. I don't mind." Mandy dismissed Grim's request, having very different sensibilities than most girls her age.
After a tentative knock on the door, Rick heard the sound of Morty's voice from behind the wooden door as he entered the garage.
"R-rick, are you still in there? We didn't see you at all yesterday and I thought—"
"Oh my God! Please don't take my grandpa away! I know he's an asshole, but he's my only friend!" Morty exclaimed, when confronted with the sight of the Grim Reaper standing next to Rick.
Times with Rick weren't always nice, but for the most part Morty enjoyed spending time with his grandfather and the thought of him being gone sent Morty into a panic.
"I'm not going to take your grandpa away! We just wanted to go to an amusement park for Pete's sake!" Grim snapped. Having had enough of all the setbacks he'd experienced that day.
"Oh o-okay. Well maybe, you could come watch TV with us. We have channels from all kinds of universes!" Morty generously offered the strangers he'd just met, the comforts of his living room television.
"Does it have a channel from a universe where I am Empress and I rule over the entire Earth?" Mandy asked, making Rick's brow raise with intrigue. This kid had the makings of a future dictator.
"Uh… sure?" Morty answered, unsure if it was the right thing to say.
"This could be interesting. Grim, forget Sassy Cat Land we're going to watch TV with them." Mandy declared, having the final word on the matter.
"Okay…" Grim agreed quietly with a sigh, feeling like a useless accessory.
Once they were all settled on the couch, Morty turned on the TV where a news anchor dressed in drab prison clothes was reading a news report about cinnamon.
"Extraction of cinnamon is up by 2%, making it the Atom's mine best operating quarter yet. We hope you will be pleased with this, if you're watching this Empress Mandy."
"Hey, what are you guys watching?" Summer asked, seeing the news report as she entered the living room.
"A universe where Mandy here, is ruler of Earth." Rick told Summer, not even bothering to turn around.
"Oh. Is cinnamon valuable there?" Summer tried to make some small talk, to ease the tension of having a possible ruler of Earth sitting on her couch.
"The power of cinnamon is what will make me all powerful and invincible. The cinnamon mines will be my main industry when I take over the Earth." Mandy shared her future plans with her, making Summer fall silent.
"Me next, me next!" Billy repeated excitedly, eager to choose a channel of his own.
The channel that Billy switched to was looped footage of Billy wearing a colander tied to his head, containing tangelos and yelling, "Destroy us all!" over and over again.
"Rick, w-why is he wearing a colander on his head?" Morty turned to Rick and asked in a hushed tone, so Billy wouldn't hear.
"Who knows Morty? It's best not to question it." Rick advised Morty. Such a strange sight proving to be beyond even Rick's understanding.
"I'm bored Grim, let's get out of here." Mandy tugged on Grim's sleeve, to indicate that she wanted to go home.
"I thought you'd never ask!" Grim exclaimed, the relief obvious in his voice. Watching television programs about the two kids he was enslaved to, holding no interest for him.
"Thanks for letting us watch TV, gramps!" Billy thanked Rick with a smile and a wave, before entering the swirling green portal that Grim had just opened with his scythe.
"Yeah, whatever. See you around." Rick gave a hasty goodbye as they left and changed the channel to be spared the discomfort of hearing Billy's voice any more.
"Rick, w-why did the Grim Reaper come to our house?" Morty asked the question he'd been wanting to ask, ever since he'd seen Grim in the garage.
"Yeah, it's not like someone died or anything." Summer asked, not knowing how close that event had come to pass.
"Even the Grim Reaper can have a bad day sometimes…" Rick offered them an explanation with a sad voice and left it at that.
Ever since I saw Auto Erotic Assimilation, I thought the best Rick and Morty crossover idea for me to write would be the Grim Reaper himself from Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy coming over for a visit, only to find he had no one to escort to the other side.