Their were many Heros of the Horn and all of them were great heros and warriors but noone was as great as the legendary Pickles McSmitey. If you have not heard of him it is because this is why.

Pickles McSmitey was borned in the 2st Age the age of Legends he was a third firstborn son to his proud father and mother. His family was the poorest in the whole westland and when he was from the time of babyhood he grew up knowing his father and mother and older sister and brother was very sad all the time. When he asked them why they said "it is because we are poor and all have only one bed and our tummies hurt from no food." and Pickles

was determined to do something about it he said I will become great hero and then you will be proud and not hungry because we will have food." And then his parents were happy because he was going to be a great hearo but then they were sad because they were hungry. So his father told him "son come eat your food" and Pickles didn't wont to at first because he was so tired of being poor and eating the bad food but then he said "okay" and ate it. Because all they had to eat was pickles because they were so poor. And this is how Pickles got his name because he turns his symbols of hunger drive into his identity like Batman but with food.

And so that is how Pickles got his name. But not how he gets McSmitey because that comes later.

So Pickles ate his food and also potatoes because they were all they his family could find in the city. And he listens to the stories he would hear every day of all the other heroes of the stories like Birgitte and Gaidal Cain and other people too, and he was like "that is so cool I can do too!" so he trained everyday to become the best he could. He would find knives and reeds and rulers and fire pokers and brooms and pens and pencils and sticks and rocks and he would practice with them to be the best he could. Even his teachers noticed he was always listens to the stories and they cautioned him "you'll will stab someone's eyes out one day." But Pickles promised he would be very careful only practice with adult superstition and so the teachers were not happy but they said okay because he promised.

Meanwhile a traveling swordsman was traveling as he traveled through the farms near where he lived (he lived near the city but not in it like near the walls) and saw young Pickles practicing one day by a tree in a field by some cows (also his family were poor farmers and he was supposed to be milking the cows). He said "that is so irresponsible a thing to do but he is good at swinging a stick and hitting things." He thought to himself "Maybe he can be a good soldier or mercenary if he had someone to train him," but then he thought to him "naaaah I'm old and tired and I don't want to have an apprentice." So he kept going for now…

But now Pickles did know anything about this since it was his dinnertime and he was called in for dinner. So he was sitting around with his family at the table and they ate cabbages and pickles because tonight they only could find cabbages and they had so many pickles to eat. And Pickles whose name wasn't Pickles yet but that's how we know him now said "I'm going to be the great swordsmen when I grow up." And his father laughed at him said "boy my son you'll poke someone's eyes out with talk like those words." And Pickles got a chill up his goosebumps like a premonition or a really sudden cold shower because he heard it before. But after dinner his older sister was like "you should totally do" because she looks up to him even though she's older but Pickles is also tall.

So next day at school! Pickles was eating lunch at school with his best friend who we know through history as The man who helped Pickles because they always ate together and he would soon be come the push Pickles needed to start his great warrior name title. And they were eating food and there was a bully who decided he could scare Pickles into giving him his lunche moneye (the e's are there because it was old times like the age of legends). But Pickles said "all i have are pickles and the bully said ok fine" and turned on his friend! But Pickles said "no you can[t do that" and the bull said "haha what are you going to do stop me?" and Pickles said "yes" he said nothing but the bullies eyes grew wide with fear. Because out of nowhere Pickles's sister comes to the rescue, twist ending! but no not really it was still Pickles. He stood up and the bully rans away and Pickles nod like a hero he would be one day. He helped his friend off the ground at school and he said "I'm so happy to have you as my frined" and Pickles was smiling "yes I agree."

And then a tap on his shoulder! Pickles turned at it was the swordsman from earlier! But Pickles didn't know him he was just an old man and Pickles thought he was in trouble. and so imagine his surprise when the old man smiled and said "hello Pickles" and Pickles didn't know what to say because he was shy at first so he just waved. Adn the old man said "you show strong of carecter to stand up for your friend like that." To witch Pickles said

"He is my friend and that boy was bully so it was right."

And the old man says "but what if that boy tried to beat up your friend"

And Pickles said "Then I would just find a stick or rock and defend my friend self because I will be a hero!"

So the old man said "you should come with me there is great danger to the kingdom and only you can help to stop it. Especially if you want To be a hero."

And Pickles said "but how will I help stop?"

And the old man said "you know the Dragon Reborn?"

And Pickles said "well duh everyone does."

And the old man said "It's like that but different just trust me."

And the two of them left the school but because that was like kidnapping the police men gave chase! but they could not catch up because the old man and Pickles had a head start and the police men didn't have cars they had horses since this was the second Age of legends and not the age of Engines.

In distant lands away, there was an evil mad sad laugh. A man was watched the world from his castle and thought to himself "gosh it would be fun to destroy it all today." But he decided not to because he was tired and he didn't want people thinking he was talking to voices in his head like he was.

This was a very difficult story to get right. I had to ask for advice from professors all over the country, from John Hopkins to NYU to Hamilton, even drawing on colleges closer to where I had access like Emory and WashU. This was a study in and of itself, almost my own personal love affair with this beautiful world, with many worthwhile forays into classic literature and the occasional bit of the dadaist and minimalism movements. I would especially like to thank Dr. Dean Gus, for the insight he lent into the main character that soon became Pickles. Yours, sir, was an inspired testimony.

On a more serious note, my thanks to user Janizary for the spark behind the epic tale now unfolding. More to come... ;)

Thank you for reading.

-JT