I'll Get Mine Before You Get Yours!
"Man, not a single damn bite! This sucks!"
"Shut up, you idiot! You'll scare the fish off!"
"There's no fish to scare away, numbnuts! I haven't gotten so much as a single bite since we got here, and I know you haven't either because I'm 10 times the fisherman you are!"
"You aren't 10 times better than me at anything, dipshit! Stop moving so much, you're rocking the boat!"
"I'll rock your boat, douchebag! Why the hell did you bring us here anyway, we might as well be fishing in a toilet! There's no fish in here!"
"I SAID STOP ROCKING THE BOAT, JACKASS! WE'RE GONNA TIP OVER!"
"GOD FORBID LITTLE SASUKE GETS HIS HAIR WET! YOU LOOK LIKE A DIRTY HIPPIE ANYWAY, A BATH WOULD DO YOU GOOD!"
"YOU'RE THE LAST ONE TO TALK ABOUT HYGIENE! I WOULDN'T USE YOUR HAIR TO CLEAN MY FLOORS!"
"I'D USE YOURS AS TOILET PAPER! SHUT UP ANYWAY, YOU'RE SCARING THE FISH!"
"THAT'S WHAT I SAID EARLIER, DON'T SAY IT BACK TO ME, DICKHEAD!"
"I'LL SAY WHATEVER I WANT! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, PUSSY?"
Shikamaru sighed audibly and rubbed his temples, eyes clamped shut. "If I had known fishing with you guys would be so troublesome, I would've just stayed home and slept in. Can you blockheads take it down a notch? We don't get many days off and I don't want to spend it listening to you two bitch like a married couple."
Naruto huffed and dropped back in a seating position in the boat with Sasuke following suit, both ninja grabbing their fishing poles and recasting in silence. Naruto and Sasuke continued exchanging death glares in silence amidst mutterings of, "you suck!" and "no, YOU suck!" under their breaths, but not loud to disturb any supposed fish in the area.
"Much better, ladies," Shikamaru quipped with a slight grin, "with any luck, we might get one bite between the three of us."
"Yeah, yeah. Next time, we're going to the movies." Naruto said through a yawn, stretching both arms upward as he leaned back over the boat, legs dangling over the side.
Despite being out there for a few hours with nothing to show for it, it was a least a nice day out. The sun was starting to set now and the temperature was dropping slightly. A slight, cool breeze swept through the lake the three young shinobi were fishing on and brushed through the trees surrounding it, nearly lulling the blonde Hokage-in-training to sleep.
"I can live with that. Zombie Shinobi from Space 4 is coming out next week, looks pretty okay," Shikamaru replied through a yawn of his own, copying Naruto's pose but with his hands behind his head as a make-shift pillow. Might as well start cloud watching since fishing is deader than Kaguya today.
"Why don't you take Temari?" Naruto retorted through a playful smile, "I bet she likes zombie movies." Naruto turned his head and held up a pinky.
Shikamaru rolled his eyes and sighed audibly, "Gimme a break already, can't a guy relax on the lake in peace?"
Sasuke glanced at Shikamaru without turning his head, "What's the deal with you guys anyway? She's constantly hanging around the Leaf these days. I was starting to think she had moved here or something."
Shikamaru's answer was a simple shrug, his gaze fixed on a particular cloud that looked like a bulldozer pushing the others in front of it.
"I'll tell you what the deal is," Naruto sat up and adjusted his headband, "Shikamaru's too scared to make any real moves on her. Temari and him flirt constantly in our Kage meetings, and she tags along to every single one, but he never asks her out or anything. Coldest feet I've ever seen!"
Sasuke chuckled slightly, pulling his line in and casting it back out yet agian, "Is that so?"
"Yeah, he's a total dweeb," Naruto layed back down after checking his line, a fruitless endeavor if there ever was one, "Even Kakashi-sensei notices."
"That's... pathetic," Sasuke said through a raised eyebrow, one hand gripping the fishing pole and the other holding up his head, a contagious yawn escaping his lips too. Damn, maybe really did pick a terrible spot.
"Pretty much," Naruto replied, watching the sun creep ever so slowly behind the treeline, "But whatever, his loss. Maybe I'll ask her out!"
"HEY, WAIT, WHAT THE HELL?!", Shikamaru jerked upright at speeds one wouldn't think believable for the typically lazy Nara, sending both Naruto and Sasuke into a fit of hysterics.
"Tch. You guys really are a pain in the ass, you know that?" Shikamaru straightened up his jacket, retreating back to his position on the small boat and to watching the clouds drift by, "It's not like either of you jerks has any room to talk anyway, so you might as well just shut up."
"And just what the hell does that mean?!" Naruto shot back with slight indignation.
Shikamaru slyly smiled, still looking at the sky above. "You know exactly what I mean. You talk a big game about me, but I never held Temari's hand in front of the entire free world and thanked her for, what was it, 'being at my side' right?"
Naruto blushed slightly and turned his head slightly from his friends, "Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"He's got a point, Naruto" Sasuke added through a few chuckles.
"Pot, meet kettle," Shikamru breathed. "Sakura has endured murder attempts from your broody ass, you've got the least room of the three of us to talk there, Mr. Smooth Operator."
"YEAH... POT!", Naruto threw up a middle finger from his laying position and held it in Sasuke's face.
Sasuke huffed in annoyance as he pushed Naruto's hand back and put his attention back on the monumental task of catching dinner. "It's... complicated."
"Well I can tell you what ISN'T complicated, and that's the fact that we'd have better luck fishing in a desert. I vote we head back to town and get some real food," the Nanadaime Hokage responded through a rumbling stomach.
"Make it two," Shikamaru lazily raised a hand in concurrence.
"Fine", Sasuke shrugged, "Just anything but Ichiraku for once."
"Make it two for that as well, boys," Shikamaru raised his hand yet again.
"You geeks just can't appreciate good cuisine, I guess," Naruto said through a trademark grin.
"Just shut up and get us back to land, dumb ass," Sasuke retracted his line and placed his pole in the boat alongside the other two, crossing his arms and kicking his feet up over the edge as his comrades just had. "Don't blow any trees over this time."
Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Heheh, still getting used to these Rikudou powers, ya know? Being in tune with all chakra in the world is a little harder than it sounds."
"Brag some more, why don't you. Jerk-offs." Shikamaru rolled his head back, sitting up and gripping the sides of the boat tightly just in case as Sasuke scoffed once and closed his eyes.
Naruto sat upright, faced the rear of the boat, and made several handsigns in quick succession, "Hold on, losers. Wind Style: Passing Typhoon Jutsu!"
Naruto barely opened his mouth so the jutsu operated at a miniscule fraction of his actual power and ensured he used next to no chakra so it stayed small this time, but enough to move the boat steadily back to shore. Lord Hokage Kakashi would pretty agitated about the massive clearing of trees and huge damage to the landscape from their initial trek, but whatever, nothing to be done about it now. Time to eat!
"Barbeque beef all around, and make sure to keep 'em coming too. Thanks." Shikamaru ordered from this establishment like a seasoned pro, but considering he was on the same team as Choji for so long, it made a certain kind of sense. They probably came here as often as Naruto did Ichiraku.
Well... maybe not that much.
"Sure thing, Mr. Nara! Coming right up! On the house, too!" the young, spry waitress said happily with a friendly expression, "Anything for the saviors of our home!"
"Heh, you're too kind!" Naruto responded with a friendly wave and even friendlier smile. Sasuke bowed his head slightly, raising 2 fingers from his cross-armed position. About as much of a thank you as one could get from Sasuke.
Shikamaru leaned back in the booth, across from his one-time classmates and lifelong friends, and sighed deeply. Life was good these days, better than it ever was before. He and Naruto spent most of their days tailing Hokage Kakashi and learning the ropes of leading their village. It wasn't easy work, but at least it wasn't dangerous either aside from the occasional papercut and tracking down of Naruto whenever he decided to play hookie from the job. Sasuke split his time between the Leaf and following any leads regarding the Otsutsuki Clan, but he had acclimated back into the village really well for the most part. He was never too far away from his best friend and rival, who was never too far from Shikamaru, the shadow-tamer being his right hand man and all, so the three ended up spending a lot of time together and forming a tight bond. All of the former Konoha classmates were on good terms of course, but those three, far closer than the rest.
The three talked and carried on as friends do, cooking their meat to their liking, and eating their fill until the moon was full and shining bright above. They thanked the waitress for her diligent work, signed a few autographs and posed for a few pictures with other customers who recognized them (bascially everyone), and left the establishment quietly.
The three shinobi walked together through the illimunated albeit sleepy streets of the the Leaf back to their homes, silver rays of moonlight blanketing the entire village, each young warrior's head racing. Though they only briefly touched the subject, it was one that had been weighing on each of them individually for a while now, so this conversation resonated in each of them throughout the evening. Perhaps those call-outs were what each of them needed?
The Fourth Great Ninja War had ended a little over a year ago now. They had each made great strides and been decorated as ninja and heroes, yet, they neglected the other side of things almost entirely. It hadn't gone completely unnoticed... in fact, it occupied a vast majority of each of their thinking time, though they'd never admit it. Leading clans and entire villages, tracking deadly foes, these were important things to handle, right? Who could blame them for taking action? It certainly wasn't because they were... well, terrified. No, not at all. The ultimate jinchuriki and sage, a wielder of the Rinnegan, and the guy with nearly immeasurable IQ afraid of girls? A sad state of affairs doesn't begin to describe it.
Naruto, as usual, was the first one to break silence.
"So, I've been thinking," Naruto said as he peered at the moon above, hands behind his head as the three shuffled along, "maybe it's time I make a move on Hinata, ya know? I mean, she is really great and I... have a bit of a soft spot for her."
"To put it mildly," Sasuke answered curtly.
Naruto grinned ear to ear and nodded, "Yeah, who am I kidding, she's great."
"Well I think you definitely need to get your ass in gear, Naruto," Shikamaru almost chided, arms folded, as he walked side by side with his partner-in-training, "You've certainly kept her waiting long enough, and the longer you do, the greater the chance somebody else will come along."
Naruto's playful expression dropped to one of slight dejection. He wasn't an idiot after all, he knew that was a distinct possibility. It wasn't as if it was his intention to keep her waiting, especially after the way she's put her life on the line so many times for him, but romantic love wasn't exactly the Uzumaki's speciality.
"A strong point indeed," Sasuke agreed. "The sooner you decide to push forward with her, the better."
"Well if it's true for me, it's true for you guys too, ya know! Especially for you, Sasuke."
"And why, pray tell, is that?" the last Uchiha inquired.
"He's probably referring to how popular Sakura was among the Allied Shinobi Forces. More than a few soldiers made it clear how they felt about her on the battlefield," the shadow-master exclaimed plainly.
"Yeah, she's always been super popular even back in our Academy days," Naruto added in. "Not to mention how much shit you put her through, and her only payback was a jab to the dome."
Sasuke's spine got visibly more rigid even in the dark of the night. Like Naruto, he was acutely aware of his situation with the object of his desires. Hearing it out loud, however, makes a bit more visceral.
"It's a drag, but I'm no exception myself. Not to mention she lives in a completely foreign area where she can be doing who knows what, with who knows who," Shikamaru head dipped in frustration, "It's such a frustrating situation."
Naruto's eyes widened and a sneaky smile etched itself on his face, "You know, that's true! She can be getting in bed with some Sand goon right now, as we speak, kissing him on the lips, taking off her clothes, putting her-"
"THAT'S ENOUGH, YOU BASTARD! YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUB IT, I'M WELL AWARE OF WHAT SHE COULD BE DOING!"
Sasuke and Naruto exchanged hearty laughs at Shikamaru's expense as the Leaf ninja came upon a large fountain. It was a large circle, made of stone and granite, decorated with all kinds of flowers and vases on the outsides. In the middle was a highly detailed statue of the Leaf Village symbol with water running through it, acting as a pathway and dropping the water into the pool below. Coins of all kinds littered the bottom of the fountain, which gave Naruto an idea.
"I got it, guys", the jinchuriki said as he fished in his pocket and pulled out a single quarter, holding it up for his compatriots to see.
"Aren't we a little old to still be making wishes, idiot?" Sasuke chided, sitting on the edge of the fountain and watching his longtime friend.
"Not a wish. A pact. Between us." Naruto explained with a wry smile. "With a little twist, of course."
Shikamaru watched onward as Naruto flipped the coin repeatedly, "What kind of pact?"
"Well, we find ourselves in similar position, yeah? So, let's do something about it!"
"Regarding the girls, I asume?", Sasuke inquired, folding one knee toward his body and resting his arm on it.
Naruto caught the coin mid-flip and pointed at Sasuke, "Yes! You're not as dumb as you look after all!"
"Moron."
"So what are you proposing exactly? We all pledge to ask out the chicks we're into?" Shikamaru rubbed under his chin thoughtfully, pondering possible outcomes. "This has potential."
"Agreed," Sasuke remarked, "so what's the twist?"
Naruto flipped the coin again, catching it on the back of his hand as he explained, "Well, like Shikamaru said, we make our moves on Hinata, Sakura, and Temari. We can do it however, with whatever, under any conditions we want. The only catch being, it's a race."
Naruto rolled the coin down his fingers and held it in his open palm, a wicked smile on his face, "And the last one to get their lady to not only be their girlfriend, but close the deal and get it on with her, loses!"
Sasuke put his feet back on the ground and leaned forward on his legs, smirking ear to ear, "Yeah, this definitely has potential."
Shikamaru leaned against a nearby building, arms still crossed, wondering a bit before speaking, "Hmm... yeah, I can get behind this. A little kick in the ass would do us all some good here, otherwise who knows how long it would take, if ever."
"Okay, I'm in. What's the bet?" the Rinnegan wielder questioned.
Naruto shrugged and sat behind Sasuke, "I don't know, whatever you goons want. I'm up for pretty much anything."
The three sat in silence for a bit, considering what they would want in this situation and possible ramifications for all outcomes. If the girls found out, they couldn't get mad, because it's what spurred the potential relationships they wanted in the first place, right? Why would they ever find out anyway? Besides, isn't everything fair in love and war in the first place? They've certainly already been to war so love can't be that much harder. And a little fun can go a long way!
"If I win", Sasuke was the first to speak this time, "then I want you guys to put forth a petition for Kakashi to erect a statue, in my honor, right outside the village gates!"
Naruto was about to bash Sasuke for being such an arrogant prick as usual before Sasuke continued with, "and free tomatoes..."
Naruto stifled a few giggles, but relented. "Fine, you loser. But if I win, then you both have to be my man-servants! I'm talking wearing the suits, doing whatever I say, being at my beck and call, calling me King Uzumaki, Lord of the Manor or something!"
Shikamaru and Sasuke groaned in unison, but mutually agreed.
"Awesome, I can't wait! I've got the monkey suits all picked out for you tools! Hehe!"
"Should I win, then I want off any Kage work for one week, Naruto."
"Sure thing," Naruto shrugged.
"And Sasuke, I want access to the Uchiha Compound for that same week. Where I can spend it playing shogi, napping, and cloud watching in relaxation and silence for 7 whole days, practically a vacation," Shikamaru said dreamily, a comfortable smile showing on his typically stoic face.
"I suppose that's okay," Sasuke accepted.
"Then it's settled!" Naruto jumped to his feet. The Kyuubi vessel clutched the quarter in his right hand and extended it outward as he typically did to Killer Bee and Kurama.
"Bet!"
"Bet." Sasuke placed his fist forward, touching it Naruto's, the pair leering at Shikamaru to do the same.
"This could turn out to be a real drag, but... bet." The final fist lazily bumped the others.
Naruto flipped the coin over his shoulder and into the fountain without looking, the barely audible splash into the crystal blue waters signaling the official start of the contest.
"Game on!"