Disclaimer: No owning! No owning. Ownership of the following people is not
happening: Tim, Dick, Bruce...Gotham.... Stuff like that.
A/N: Well, this was just a stupid pointless fic that I wrote because I was inspired by a certain similar situation. See, living in Ontario where there's two major hockey teams which just happen to be rivals, a lot of ... well rivalry between the fans go down. That's all. SO... enjoy. :) Rated I would think... P.G for some junk.
That Stupid Keystone City Kings Flag
That stupid Keystone City Kings flag. In the heart of Gotham (home of the Gotham City Knights) some guy has the nerve to flaunt that stupid Kings flag for all to see. Everyone knew the Knights and the Kings were rival football teams. Everyone would glare at the one Kings flag in the entire city, and many plotted against it. But as far as Tim could recall no one ever really did. But he hated that flag. He hated the Kings. Ever since Tim could walk he'd been a Knights fan. To him, this was the biggest offence in Gotham.
As Tim and a few of his friends walked downtown, they passed the house with the Knights flag. Paul glared.
"I bet the guy in that house is a 50 year old virgin." He said suddenly. Tim nodded.
"Something has to be done about this flag situation."
"Your right, Drake!" Bone smirked. "Maybe YOU should do something about it!" Bone was the unspoken leader of this little circle of friends, which was somehow labeled as the "Bone Thugs", before Tim came to the school. The Thugs preferred to not be called that as it made them seem like bad kids. They weren't good kids, but they didn't want to be considered a gang or anything. They were just the schools resident group of metal heads and punks- and Tim Drake, who was eagerly welcomed for his not so good reputation.
"Well, maybe I will." Tim shrugged.
"Big talk for a little guy." Paul, who towed over Tim, elbowed him, and chuckled. "Why don't you back'em up?" He pushed Tim towards the house.
"That was a challenge Timmy! You gonna back out?" Lynn teased, ruffling his hair. She was a good girl, and Tim's best friend, but when the guys got on his case she always followed. She really wanted Paul to like her. Tim frowned and pushed her hands away.
"I never back out on a challenge!" Tim knew he was going to eat these words in a minute, but his honor was on the line here!
"Oh really?" Bone looked at the guys then back to Tim. "Ok then, take the flag!" Tim looked up at the flag, the flag he hated so much, the flag he always wanted to burn. But he knew he couldn't do it! That was stealing, and he promised himself to never steal ever again. But the guys challenged him. He certainly didn't want to be seen as a wuss to his buddies!
"Just take it? That's HARDLY a challenge." Tim faked a yawn.
"I know! Take it down and replace it with something that makes fun of the Kings!" Lynn suggested.
"That's a good idea!" Paul agreed, which made Lynn extremely happy.
"Oh! I got um.. I got this uh... thing here, one of them big white nose things... I only used it once, I swear man..." Skip, the only real drug user in the group, dug through his pockets of his jacket. He pulled out a white hand towel.
"Bud, that's not a handkerchief- that's a towel." Bone sighed. "But it will do the job. Paul, your spray please." Paul passed his spray paint to Bone, from his back pack. Bone passed both the towel and the paint to Tim. "Write something knockin' the Kings, and replace 'em."
"Cool, cool." Tim was in too deep now to back out. They watched as he wrote TO HELL WITH THE KINGS. "Does that sound to lame?"
"A bit, but its more creative then "the kings suck" so whatever." Bone shrugged, then adjusted his leather jacket. None of them expected Tim to actually go through with it. They watched as he walked towards the pole, quietly taking bets on when he'd chicken out.
"Did you hear about what Tim Drake did? He's a freakin' hero!" The halls were filled with rumors about Tim's "heroic deed". Tim had instantly became the most coolest kid in the entire school. By the end of the day, he had more friends then he could remember the names of.
"So Tim, you're the coolest kid in the history of Gotham Junior high, how do you feel?" The school reporter, Autumn Glenn, asked. Her red hair was up in a high pony tail, and she had her make up done like some pop diva. Tim often wondered if she woke up at four in the morning just to be ready for school at nine. She looked like a Barbie- she was as pretty as one too. She was definitely trying to be the next Summer Gleason.
"Um... good?" Tim shrugged.
"Good.." She wrote it on her note pad, and Tim wondered how hard one word would be to remember. "Would you ever do another act like this or is this it for you?"
"Wh-what?" Tim was confused. "What kind of question is that? What kind of article is this? Who cares?"
"I always do a report on the coolest kids. Everyone wants to know what's going on with them. Face it Drake, you're a school celebrity! You do realize if you want to remain the school hero you got to live up the student body's expectations. They'll expect you to do more." Her pony tail bounced as she explained this unspoken fact.
"Are you serious? I'm not that PASSIONATE about anything else- don't quote me on that." Tim frowned. Autumn shrugged, then tilted her head to the side. Tim was beginning to think she might be trying to impress him with her looks... which she was. He always loved how she would tilt her neck. But Autumn was one of those girls one would love to look at, but not someone you'd get involved with.
"Well, there's always mascot stealing from rival schools, or teacher humiliation. Who cares if your passionate about it. As long as the people are! Now can we do an interview or not? What's your favourite colour?"
"Tim, can I ask why your suspended?" Bruce asked, reading a note Tim had given him. "I mean, I know it says on this sheet, but I want to know what possessed you to play a private conversation between two members of the staff over the P.A system."
"My greed!" Tim wailed dramatically, flinging himself on to the couch. Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Oh Bruce! Don't you get it! I did one cool thing and now I'm screwed! I have to keep doing cool things to keep my fame and glory! And I LIKE my fame! I LIKE girls liking me! I like how Autumn tilts her head and wrinkles her nose when she talks to me about my pranks! I'm weak!" Tim pretended to be disgusted with himself. Bruce didn't buy it.
"It's that group you hang around with. Why on earth would you want anything to do with those boys?"
"They're cool guys Bruce! And they're good people. Half of them are on the honor role! I mean, I'm the stupidest one of us, other then Skip. They're pretty straight edge- uh, except for Skip- I mean LYNN is a teachers pet! They're not a gang Bruce! We're just a group of kids, and since most of them are on the punky side they get judged but there not-"
"Oh stop defending them. You just want to be cool." Bruce was tempted to bring up Dick was cool, but didn't give to peer pressure but he felt it best to not say anything of the sort.
"I do! But it's got nothing to do with them- well not really... except this whole thing started with that stupid Keystone King's flag that they dared me to-"
"YOU did that?" Dick who had been eaves dropping suddenly came in. "You stole that Stupid flag?! You are SO cool to me! I mean, my roommate was on the Gotham Knights football team, and he always complained about the flag, but he never did anything! I cannot believe how..." He looked at Bruce who was glaring daggers at him. "What I mean is, peer pressure is not cool."
"Tim, your grounded. You better straighten up and fly right, or deal with the consequences." With that said, Bruce left. Tim frowned. Consequences? Why was he always haunted by consequences?! Why couldn't his actions be consequence free?
"Man, I don't care what Bruce says. That is so cool that you actually did something about that stupid flag! I am so impressed." Dick ruffled Tim's black hair. "I'm buying you a pizza!" Dick left to make the call. Tim smiled. How often did your role model actually look up to you? Practically never! Who needed to fly right when you could fly cool!
Class was different when Tim returned to school. Two certain staff members were gone. Could it be a coincidence that both staff members were the ones Tim humiliated? Tim decided it was. He'd rather not think that they were too humiliated to come back. The conversation everyone heard wasn't THAT embarrassing- or at least it wouldn't of been had they both not been males. Tim thought it was funny, no matter WHO was saying it. "smoogy woogy" was just a funny thing to say.
"Timmy! You hear?"
"No Bone, I'm not here, I'm an illusion." Tim said sarcastically, putting books in his locker.
"No, no I mean, did you hear?"
"Oh! About what?"
"Mr. Vandrune, and Mr. Brown got FIRED! See, kids must of told their folks about it, and the parents didn't like the idea of a gay couple working at the school or something, so they got fired!"
"Oh my god! It's all my fault! I thought the union protected that kind of stuff! Bone, I gotta confess! My little prank things are getting outta control. I don't think I can do this anymore-"
"SHH!" Bone covered Tim's mouth and looked around to make sure no one heard. He took off his sunglasses, and stared into Tim's eyes to show just how serious he was. "Tim! You got to stay cool- as in you HAVE TO BE THE COOL KID! It's gets us all this respect we never had before! Please Tim, don't! I mean, they might of just quit- I mean how could they be respected by us kids after that?" Bone begged, his brown eyes pleading.
"Bone! I ruined two peoples careers, I'll never be able to shake the guilt!" Tim buried his face in his hands. "Oh Bone, I quit. You be the cool guy!"
"Drake, I'm gonna confide in you, kay. Tell NO one ,what I'm about to tell you. See, I don't have the guts you apparently have. I may wear leather jackets and spray paint public property, but really I'm just a coward who only does stuff if I know I wont get caught- you, your not afraid of getting caught, you KNOW your going to get caught, and you want to get caught. That's why YOU got to be the cool kid in our group." He places his sunglasses back on his face.
"Oh I don't know any more. Why is this so important?" Tim groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "It's not like it's a real position of power or anything."
"No, but come on, how many phone numbers did you have BEFORE you were cool?"
"Your right! The bimbas won't like me if I'm just another stupid kid! I HAVE to be a stupid COOL kid! Dammit! How cruel!" He put on his Fedora (which he had convinced Bruce he absolutely needed for some reason) and his yellow lenses glasses and sighed. "So cruel, yet I still continue."
"It is true. Now, we'll keep this little conversation between us. Ok? No one will know you lost your cool for a minute." Bone patted Tim on the back. "Side's that little stunt you pulled that got those teachers fired or made them quit made you even more of a hero! No body wants fag teachers."
"Hey! Homosexuals are people! People who should have jobs! People I lost the jobs of! OH I AM SO FILLED WITH GUILT!" Tim slammed his head into his locker door.
"Ok , Lynn, this is what I have to do... some sort of grand finale and retire officially. I mean, if I retire I'd still be a legend, right?" Tim asked as they walked to Lynn's house, waving at every student that would walk by and try to get his attention. He looked too cool for life, in his baggy short pants, black Not Jake tee shirt over a long sleeves red shirt, with his hat and glasses.
"I guess, if it's the ultimate cool thing. What can you do that's SO cool people will remember in like 30 years?" They turned to go up her driveway, leading up to her lovely suburban home.
"Oh I don't know! I could pants the hot secretary and all the guys would remember for years! But you and every other bimba would think I'm a jerk- so that's no good." Lynn rolled her chocolate brown eyes, and unlocked her door.
"Well, why don't you try doing something relevant to the first act. I mean, that guy put a new Keystone flag up, but it's a bigger one- rumor has it he did something to the pole so nobody could run any thing up it. If you replaced this new spiteful one-"
"Lynn, that's dumb. It hasn't been there long enough to make the entire city outraged like the last time- I mean it was there for YEARS." Tim rummaged through her cupboards. "Hey, ya mind if I help myself to this pink salmon and make m'self a sandwich? I never had pink salmon before."
"Go ahead." Tim smiled and began opening the tin with the can opener.
"Oh, I think I made a mistake..." He frowned when opening it. "I mean, it's just a chunk of salmon – I don't mind the skin, it adds a salty flavor, but when your food still has a spine and rib cage it really seems less appealing. If it were flaked you wouldn't even think twice about it, but with a back bone you think "crap! This was a REAL fish!" I mean I keep expecting it to wriggle or something as I pull its bones out. This is pretty gross." He rambled as he ate bits of the salmon and pulled the spine out. "Good but gross. I just prefer my fish without-"Lynn sighed frustrated and grabbed the tin Tim was picking from and tossed it in the garbage. "I was going to eat it!" Tim whined.
"Oh shut up and think about how your going to retire." Lynn crossed her arms. Tim pouted.
"I'm hungry and you threw out my food! It was a perfectly good can of tuna-"
"Salmon."
"-and you COMPLETELY wasted it! If I was still impoverish and on the streets I'd of killed you." Tim sighed and rummaged though her fridge. "OOOH! I want some of this lemon pie!!!"
"ARG!" Lynn slammed the fridge barely giving Tim time to move out of the way.
"Ok, Ok I'm thinking stealing all the confiscated stuff from the teachers lounge. It'll make me the Robin Hood of the school." Tim got to business figuring that's what Lynn wanted. She was a big girl. She was bigger then him at least, so she had no qualms with boxing his ears. Tim wasn't afraid of her. He was a street kid- she grew up in a suburban home- but still he's let her believe that she could do damage if she wanted.
"That sounds pretty good- I know you use to steal all the time, but are you any good at it- I mean you DID go to juvy, so obviously you got caught." Lynn raised an eyebrow.
"Cool Lynn. Let's be harsh to the little guy." Tim said sarcastically dragging out the "cool" and emphasizing it by making the middle of the word slightly louder. "I got skill bud, and I KNOW I can sneak in there and get all the stuff- I'll be the smoothest of cat burglars."
Tim told his plan to the rest of his friends and they began planning it out, taking into consideration how often it would be completely empty within a day- which unfortunately turned out to be never.
"There's ALWAYS at least one teacher in there! Dammit!" Paul growled cleaning his glasses. "How can we get 'em out?"
"Well, we could pull the-"Bone started.
"No, we're not pulling the fire alarm because we'll get charged!" Lynn cut him off.
"Aw, but Timmy's already got a record and his old man can afford it." Skip pointed out, his eyes bloodshot.
"No, nononononono!" Tim waved his hands. "Bruce cannot EVER hear about any more of this, or I will be in a world of misery! Therefore- nothing that I can get pinned to."
"WAIT!" Bone jumped up. "There's an assembly tomorrow! You- oh this is too brilliant- all the teachers will be at the assembly! You can sneak in then, and grab all the stuff!"
"Cool, cool!" Tim became excited. "This is going to be the greatest thing since the flag escapade!"
"But I think you should still have some element of the flag thing in your retirement act." Lynn sighed, brushing her long uneven bangs from her face, and then absently ran a finger over one of her longer spikes of hair. Tim had a thoughtful expression.
"Well, maybe in 10 years Lynn, It'll be my comeback, for the start of my career as resident cool guy in University." Tim smiled.
Everything was set. Tim was anxious as he waited for the announcement asking all staff and students to go down to the auditorium. Time seemed to move so slowly. He shot Bone a glance, and Bone couldn't seem to stop smiling. Of course, all the guys were psyched about this. Only TIM was at risk. Tim just prayed this would work and he wouldn't get in trouble with Bruce. After this, he promised himself, no more school hero.
"Would all staff and students please report to the auditorium for an important assembly." The "hot secretary" said over the P.A system. All boys seems do go dreamy as she spoke, then when the announcement ended they snapped out of the spell. As the students began filing out of the class room, Bone patted Tim on the back.
"Good luck, bud!" Tim smiled nervously. He watched the teacher as he ducked into the next hall. He waited a few minutes, hiding, until he was completely alone in the halls. He pulled a sac out from under his old school style tee shirt, and ran towards the staff room.
He tried to turn the knob but it was lock. Tim shrugged, and pulled a tool out of his back pocket. He came prepared, treating this like any other break in job he'd have to pull as his alternate persona. He smirked as he easily unlocked the door. He looked around to make sure the coast was clear before entering. The room was beyond what any student imagined! It was the crappiest room ever! They all pictured a posh environment with a wide screen T.V, pool table and a massive fridge! It was just a table, some average couch, average fridge and a FM stereo that couldn't even play CD's. Tim frowned, adjusted his ball cap, then began looking for the confiscated goods. He scanned the room and saw a big two door cabinet. He opened it, and inside it had shelves for each teacher where they put things like shoes and purses. Nothing else really. He turned around and found a cabinet just like it by the fridge. He walked over to it, and figured it would be something like a pantry but decided to check just incase.
He grinned largely when he did. He had found his treasure! Discmans, hats, provocative T-shirts, porno magazines, comic books, weapons (of the sling shot sort), and many other glorious teen and pre-teen belongings! Even some of his own! He missed his Mega-man comic! Tim was so excited he stopped breathing. This was going to be the most rewarding excursion yet! He began to put things in his sac, and checking the clock. The assembly would be over in 20 minutes, but he didn't want to risk it. He felt like Santa as he closed the bag and threw it over his shoulder. He smiled and closed the door. He was tempted to leave a note or something but didn't want it to be traced to him, so he didn't. He giddily made his way to the door, and when he was about to open the door he heard someone trying to unlock it. He panicked and looked around for a hiding spot. The door began to open, and he had no choice but to hide behind it.
It was one of the teachers who he humiliated! What was he doing here?
Mr. Brown, who smelt like booze, headed right to the teachers cabinet and opened the doors. While he was busy Tim snuck out the open door.
Students were out of control as Tim began holding up items and having people claim them. He stood on the school steps, like it was a stage, and the student population were below him, going as far back as the street. They were ultimately impressed, and very pleased to see their things again.
"A Knights cap- I think this is yours Stu." Tim held it out to his friend. "Um, a Discman with C.P engraved in it... Carl... Peterson? Yours? Yes? Here you go." After the bag was empty Tim took this as the time to make his important announcement. "If I could just have everyone's ears for a minute-"The crowd cheered and started chanting his name. We waved his arms. "See, I'm a little tired of pulling pranks and stuff, and so I've decided to retire. It was fun and all, but I gotta say- I'm spent." The student body unanimously made a whiny "aw".
"We love you Tim!" The cheerleaders yelled. Tim tried REALLY hard not to blush, but it couldn't be helped.
"You're a hero man!" a guy yelled. Then the crowd started chanting his name again. Tim shrugged, bowed, picked up his back pack and started walking through the parting crowd to where Alfred was waiting to pick him up. Several kids chased the car as they drove away.
"Holy Crap, I feel like Bono!" Tim sighed, seriously wishing he was wearing his Bono look (the glasses and fedora) instead of what he was wearing. Just to make him feel more like the Irish rock star. Alfred looked in the rear view mirror, and opened his mouth to say something. "Don't ask Alfred, don't ask."
"Tim! Can I ask you a couple of questions about your finale?" Autumn chased him down the hall the next day, hair bouncing.
"Sure." Tim smiled.
"Well, first of all, you said you were tired of pulling the pranks, is that your only reason you decided to retire?" Tim noted she didn't do as much smiling or head tilting.
"Well Autumn-"Before Tim could answer, Bone ran up to him.
"Oh man! Your got off so lucky! Yesterday, Mr. Brown was caught in the teachers lounge trying to vandalize the place and remove all their things to get revenge on the school or something- I mean he was piss- drunk, so they assumed he took the student belongings too! You got off scot- free bud!"
"Give me all the details!" Autumn demanded.
Although Tim didn't get the media attention he use too, and not as many phone numbers, Tim was always the coolest guy in the school. He was a legend that lived on through Gotham Junior High for years, even after he left the school. He had never been so popular in his life. Look at the year book- he was practically on every page three times.
10 years later...
"That STUPID Keystone City Kings flag!" One of Tim's university friends growled. "Someone should do something about it!"
"Yes... someone should." Tim smiled and headed in the direction of the flagpole- lighter in hand.
END
A/N: Well, this was just a stupid pointless fic that I wrote because I was inspired by a certain similar situation. See, living in Ontario where there's two major hockey teams which just happen to be rivals, a lot of ... well rivalry between the fans go down. That's all. SO... enjoy. :) Rated I would think... P.G for some junk.
That Stupid Keystone City Kings Flag
That stupid Keystone City Kings flag. In the heart of Gotham (home of the Gotham City Knights) some guy has the nerve to flaunt that stupid Kings flag for all to see. Everyone knew the Knights and the Kings were rival football teams. Everyone would glare at the one Kings flag in the entire city, and many plotted against it. But as far as Tim could recall no one ever really did. But he hated that flag. He hated the Kings. Ever since Tim could walk he'd been a Knights fan. To him, this was the biggest offence in Gotham.
As Tim and a few of his friends walked downtown, they passed the house with the Knights flag. Paul glared.
"I bet the guy in that house is a 50 year old virgin." He said suddenly. Tim nodded.
"Something has to be done about this flag situation."
"Your right, Drake!" Bone smirked. "Maybe YOU should do something about it!" Bone was the unspoken leader of this little circle of friends, which was somehow labeled as the "Bone Thugs", before Tim came to the school. The Thugs preferred to not be called that as it made them seem like bad kids. They weren't good kids, but they didn't want to be considered a gang or anything. They were just the schools resident group of metal heads and punks- and Tim Drake, who was eagerly welcomed for his not so good reputation.
"Well, maybe I will." Tim shrugged.
"Big talk for a little guy." Paul, who towed over Tim, elbowed him, and chuckled. "Why don't you back'em up?" He pushed Tim towards the house.
"That was a challenge Timmy! You gonna back out?" Lynn teased, ruffling his hair. She was a good girl, and Tim's best friend, but when the guys got on his case she always followed. She really wanted Paul to like her. Tim frowned and pushed her hands away.
"I never back out on a challenge!" Tim knew he was going to eat these words in a minute, but his honor was on the line here!
"Oh really?" Bone looked at the guys then back to Tim. "Ok then, take the flag!" Tim looked up at the flag, the flag he hated so much, the flag he always wanted to burn. But he knew he couldn't do it! That was stealing, and he promised himself to never steal ever again. But the guys challenged him. He certainly didn't want to be seen as a wuss to his buddies!
"Just take it? That's HARDLY a challenge." Tim faked a yawn.
"I know! Take it down and replace it with something that makes fun of the Kings!" Lynn suggested.
"That's a good idea!" Paul agreed, which made Lynn extremely happy.
"Oh! I got um.. I got this uh... thing here, one of them big white nose things... I only used it once, I swear man..." Skip, the only real drug user in the group, dug through his pockets of his jacket. He pulled out a white hand towel.
"Bud, that's not a handkerchief- that's a towel." Bone sighed. "But it will do the job. Paul, your spray please." Paul passed his spray paint to Bone, from his back pack. Bone passed both the towel and the paint to Tim. "Write something knockin' the Kings, and replace 'em."
"Cool, cool." Tim was in too deep now to back out. They watched as he wrote TO HELL WITH THE KINGS. "Does that sound to lame?"
"A bit, but its more creative then "the kings suck" so whatever." Bone shrugged, then adjusted his leather jacket. None of them expected Tim to actually go through with it. They watched as he walked towards the pole, quietly taking bets on when he'd chicken out.
"Did you hear about what Tim Drake did? He's a freakin' hero!" The halls were filled with rumors about Tim's "heroic deed". Tim had instantly became the most coolest kid in the entire school. By the end of the day, he had more friends then he could remember the names of.
"So Tim, you're the coolest kid in the history of Gotham Junior high, how do you feel?" The school reporter, Autumn Glenn, asked. Her red hair was up in a high pony tail, and she had her make up done like some pop diva. Tim often wondered if she woke up at four in the morning just to be ready for school at nine. She looked like a Barbie- she was as pretty as one too. She was definitely trying to be the next Summer Gleason.
"Um... good?" Tim shrugged.
"Good.." She wrote it on her note pad, and Tim wondered how hard one word would be to remember. "Would you ever do another act like this or is this it for you?"
"Wh-what?" Tim was confused. "What kind of question is that? What kind of article is this? Who cares?"
"I always do a report on the coolest kids. Everyone wants to know what's going on with them. Face it Drake, you're a school celebrity! You do realize if you want to remain the school hero you got to live up the student body's expectations. They'll expect you to do more." Her pony tail bounced as she explained this unspoken fact.
"Are you serious? I'm not that PASSIONATE about anything else- don't quote me on that." Tim frowned. Autumn shrugged, then tilted her head to the side. Tim was beginning to think she might be trying to impress him with her looks... which she was. He always loved how she would tilt her neck. But Autumn was one of those girls one would love to look at, but not someone you'd get involved with.
"Well, there's always mascot stealing from rival schools, or teacher humiliation. Who cares if your passionate about it. As long as the people are! Now can we do an interview or not? What's your favourite colour?"
"Tim, can I ask why your suspended?" Bruce asked, reading a note Tim had given him. "I mean, I know it says on this sheet, but I want to know what possessed you to play a private conversation between two members of the staff over the P.A system."
"My greed!" Tim wailed dramatically, flinging himself on to the couch. Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Oh Bruce! Don't you get it! I did one cool thing and now I'm screwed! I have to keep doing cool things to keep my fame and glory! And I LIKE my fame! I LIKE girls liking me! I like how Autumn tilts her head and wrinkles her nose when she talks to me about my pranks! I'm weak!" Tim pretended to be disgusted with himself. Bruce didn't buy it.
"It's that group you hang around with. Why on earth would you want anything to do with those boys?"
"They're cool guys Bruce! And they're good people. Half of them are on the honor role! I mean, I'm the stupidest one of us, other then Skip. They're pretty straight edge- uh, except for Skip- I mean LYNN is a teachers pet! They're not a gang Bruce! We're just a group of kids, and since most of them are on the punky side they get judged but there not-"
"Oh stop defending them. You just want to be cool." Bruce was tempted to bring up Dick was cool, but didn't give to peer pressure but he felt it best to not say anything of the sort.
"I do! But it's got nothing to do with them- well not really... except this whole thing started with that stupid Keystone King's flag that they dared me to-"
"YOU did that?" Dick who had been eaves dropping suddenly came in. "You stole that Stupid flag?! You are SO cool to me! I mean, my roommate was on the Gotham Knights football team, and he always complained about the flag, but he never did anything! I cannot believe how..." He looked at Bruce who was glaring daggers at him. "What I mean is, peer pressure is not cool."
"Tim, your grounded. You better straighten up and fly right, or deal with the consequences." With that said, Bruce left. Tim frowned. Consequences? Why was he always haunted by consequences?! Why couldn't his actions be consequence free?
"Man, I don't care what Bruce says. That is so cool that you actually did something about that stupid flag! I am so impressed." Dick ruffled Tim's black hair. "I'm buying you a pizza!" Dick left to make the call. Tim smiled. How often did your role model actually look up to you? Practically never! Who needed to fly right when you could fly cool!
Class was different when Tim returned to school. Two certain staff members were gone. Could it be a coincidence that both staff members were the ones Tim humiliated? Tim decided it was. He'd rather not think that they were too humiliated to come back. The conversation everyone heard wasn't THAT embarrassing- or at least it wouldn't of been had they both not been males. Tim thought it was funny, no matter WHO was saying it. "smoogy woogy" was just a funny thing to say.
"Timmy! You hear?"
"No Bone, I'm not here, I'm an illusion." Tim said sarcastically, putting books in his locker.
"No, no I mean, did you hear?"
"Oh! About what?"
"Mr. Vandrune, and Mr. Brown got FIRED! See, kids must of told their folks about it, and the parents didn't like the idea of a gay couple working at the school or something, so they got fired!"
"Oh my god! It's all my fault! I thought the union protected that kind of stuff! Bone, I gotta confess! My little prank things are getting outta control. I don't think I can do this anymore-"
"SHH!" Bone covered Tim's mouth and looked around to make sure no one heard. He took off his sunglasses, and stared into Tim's eyes to show just how serious he was. "Tim! You got to stay cool- as in you HAVE TO BE THE COOL KID! It's gets us all this respect we never had before! Please Tim, don't! I mean, they might of just quit- I mean how could they be respected by us kids after that?" Bone begged, his brown eyes pleading.
"Bone! I ruined two peoples careers, I'll never be able to shake the guilt!" Tim buried his face in his hands. "Oh Bone, I quit. You be the cool guy!"
"Drake, I'm gonna confide in you, kay. Tell NO one ,what I'm about to tell you. See, I don't have the guts you apparently have. I may wear leather jackets and spray paint public property, but really I'm just a coward who only does stuff if I know I wont get caught- you, your not afraid of getting caught, you KNOW your going to get caught, and you want to get caught. That's why YOU got to be the cool kid in our group." He places his sunglasses back on his face.
"Oh I don't know any more. Why is this so important?" Tim groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "It's not like it's a real position of power or anything."
"No, but come on, how many phone numbers did you have BEFORE you were cool?"
"Your right! The bimbas won't like me if I'm just another stupid kid! I HAVE to be a stupid COOL kid! Dammit! How cruel!" He put on his Fedora (which he had convinced Bruce he absolutely needed for some reason) and his yellow lenses glasses and sighed. "So cruel, yet I still continue."
"It is true. Now, we'll keep this little conversation between us. Ok? No one will know you lost your cool for a minute." Bone patted Tim on the back. "Side's that little stunt you pulled that got those teachers fired or made them quit made you even more of a hero! No body wants fag teachers."
"Hey! Homosexuals are people! People who should have jobs! People I lost the jobs of! OH I AM SO FILLED WITH GUILT!" Tim slammed his head into his locker door.
"Ok , Lynn, this is what I have to do... some sort of grand finale and retire officially. I mean, if I retire I'd still be a legend, right?" Tim asked as they walked to Lynn's house, waving at every student that would walk by and try to get his attention. He looked too cool for life, in his baggy short pants, black Not Jake tee shirt over a long sleeves red shirt, with his hat and glasses.
"I guess, if it's the ultimate cool thing. What can you do that's SO cool people will remember in like 30 years?" They turned to go up her driveway, leading up to her lovely suburban home.
"Oh I don't know! I could pants the hot secretary and all the guys would remember for years! But you and every other bimba would think I'm a jerk- so that's no good." Lynn rolled her chocolate brown eyes, and unlocked her door.
"Well, why don't you try doing something relevant to the first act. I mean, that guy put a new Keystone flag up, but it's a bigger one- rumor has it he did something to the pole so nobody could run any thing up it. If you replaced this new spiteful one-"
"Lynn, that's dumb. It hasn't been there long enough to make the entire city outraged like the last time- I mean it was there for YEARS." Tim rummaged through her cupboards. "Hey, ya mind if I help myself to this pink salmon and make m'self a sandwich? I never had pink salmon before."
"Go ahead." Tim smiled and began opening the tin with the can opener.
"Oh, I think I made a mistake..." He frowned when opening it. "I mean, it's just a chunk of salmon – I don't mind the skin, it adds a salty flavor, but when your food still has a spine and rib cage it really seems less appealing. If it were flaked you wouldn't even think twice about it, but with a back bone you think "crap! This was a REAL fish!" I mean I keep expecting it to wriggle or something as I pull its bones out. This is pretty gross." He rambled as he ate bits of the salmon and pulled the spine out. "Good but gross. I just prefer my fish without-"Lynn sighed frustrated and grabbed the tin Tim was picking from and tossed it in the garbage. "I was going to eat it!" Tim whined.
"Oh shut up and think about how your going to retire." Lynn crossed her arms. Tim pouted.
"I'm hungry and you threw out my food! It was a perfectly good can of tuna-"
"Salmon."
"-and you COMPLETELY wasted it! If I was still impoverish and on the streets I'd of killed you." Tim sighed and rummaged though her fridge. "OOOH! I want some of this lemon pie!!!"
"ARG!" Lynn slammed the fridge barely giving Tim time to move out of the way.
"Ok, Ok I'm thinking stealing all the confiscated stuff from the teachers lounge. It'll make me the Robin Hood of the school." Tim got to business figuring that's what Lynn wanted. She was a big girl. She was bigger then him at least, so she had no qualms with boxing his ears. Tim wasn't afraid of her. He was a street kid- she grew up in a suburban home- but still he's let her believe that she could do damage if she wanted.
"That sounds pretty good- I know you use to steal all the time, but are you any good at it- I mean you DID go to juvy, so obviously you got caught." Lynn raised an eyebrow.
"Cool Lynn. Let's be harsh to the little guy." Tim said sarcastically dragging out the "cool" and emphasizing it by making the middle of the word slightly louder. "I got skill bud, and I KNOW I can sneak in there and get all the stuff- I'll be the smoothest of cat burglars."
Tim told his plan to the rest of his friends and they began planning it out, taking into consideration how often it would be completely empty within a day- which unfortunately turned out to be never.
"There's ALWAYS at least one teacher in there! Dammit!" Paul growled cleaning his glasses. "How can we get 'em out?"
"Well, we could pull the-"Bone started.
"No, we're not pulling the fire alarm because we'll get charged!" Lynn cut him off.
"Aw, but Timmy's already got a record and his old man can afford it." Skip pointed out, his eyes bloodshot.
"No, nononononono!" Tim waved his hands. "Bruce cannot EVER hear about any more of this, or I will be in a world of misery! Therefore- nothing that I can get pinned to."
"WAIT!" Bone jumped up. "There's an assembly tomorrow! You- oh this is too brilliant- all the teachers will be at the assembly! You can sneak in then, and grab all the stuff!"
"Cool, cool!" Tim became excited. "This is going to be the greatest thing since the flag escapade!"
"But I think you should still have some element of the flag thing in your retirement act." Lynn sighed, brushing her long uneven bangs from her face, and then absently ran a finger over one of her longer spikes of hair. Tim had a thoughtful expression.
"Well, maybe in 10 years Lynn, It'll be my comeback, for the start of my career as resident cool guy in University." Tim smiled.
Everything was set. Tim was anxious as he waited for the announcement asking all staff and students to go down to the auditorium. Time seemed to move so slowly. He shot Bone a glance, and Bone couldn't seem to stop smiling. Of course, all the guys were psyched about this. Only TIM was at risk. Tim just prayed this would work and he wouldn't get in trouble with Bruce. After this, he promised himself, no more school hero.
"Would all staff and students please report to the auditorium for an important assembly." The "hot secretary" said over the P.A system. All boys seems do go dreamy as she spoke, then when the announcement ended they snapped out of the spell. As the students began filing out of the class room, Bone patted Tim on the back.
"Good luck, bud!" Tim smiled nervously. He watched the teacher as he ducked into the next hall. He waited a few minutes, hiding, until he was completely alone in the halls. He pulled a sac out from under his old school style tee shirt, and ran towards the staff room.
He tried to turn the knob but it was lock. Tim shrugged, and pulled a tool out of his back pocket. He came prepared, treating this like any other break in job he'd have to pull as his alternate persona. He smirked as he easily unlocked the door. He looked around to make sure the coast was clear before entering. The room was beyond what any student imagined! It was the crappiest room ever! They all pictured a posh environment with a wide screen T.V, pool table and a massive fridge! It was just a table, some average couch, average fridge and a FM stereo that couldn't even play CD's. Tim frowned, adjusted his ball cap, then began looking for the confiscated goods. He scanned the room and saw a big two door cabinet. He opened it, and inside it had shelves for each teacher where they put things like shoes and purses. Nothing else really. He turned around and found a cabinet just like it by the fridge. He walked over to it, and figured it would be something like a pantry but decided to check just incase.
He grinned largely when he did. He had found his treasure! Discmans, hats, provocative T-shirts, porno magazines, comic books, weapons (of the sling shot sort), and many other glorious teen and pre-teen belongings! Even some of his own! He missed his Mega-man comic! Tim was so excited he stopped breathing. This was going to be the most rewarding excursion yet! He began to put things in his sac, and checking the clock. The assembly would be over in 20 minutes, but he didn't want to risk it. He felt like Santa as he closed the bag and threw it over his shoulder. He smiled and closed the door. He was tempted to leave a note or something but didn't want it to be traced to him, so he didn't. He giddily made his way to the door, and when he was about to open the door he heard someone trying to unlock it. He panicked and looked around for a hiding spot. The door began to open, and he had no choice but to hide behind it.
It was one of the teachers who he humiliated! What was he doing here?
Mr. Brown, who smelt like booze, headed right to the teachers cabinet and opened the doors. While he was busy Tim snuck out the open door.
Students were out of control as Tim began holding up items and having people claim them. He stood on the school steps, like it was a stage, and the student population were below him, going as far back as the street. They were ultimately impressed, and very pleased to see their things again.
"A Knights cap- I think this is yours Stu." Tim held it out to his friend. "Um, a Discman with C.P engraved in it... Carl... Peterson? Yours? Yes? Here you go." After the bag was empty Tim took this as the time to make his important announcement. "If I could just have everyone's ears for a minute-"The crowd cheered and started chanting his name. We waved his arms. "See, I'm a little tired of pulling pranks and stuff, and so I've decided to retire. It was fun and all, but I gotta say- I'm spent." The student body unanimously made a whiny "aw".
"We love you Tim!" The cheerleaders yelled. Tim tried REALLY hard not to blush, but it couldn't be helped.
"You're a hero man!" a guy yelled. Then the crowd started chanting his name again. Tim shrugged, bowed, picked up his back pack and started walking through the parting crowd to where Alfred was waiting to pick him up. Several kids chased the car as they drove away.
"Holy Crap, I feel like Bono!" Tim sighed, seriously wishing he was wearing his Bono look (the glasses and fedora) instead of what he was wearing. Just to make him feel more like the Irish rock star. Alfred looked in the rear view mirror, and opened his mouth to say something. "Don't ask Alfred, don't ask."
"Tim! Can I ask you a couple of questions about your finale?" Autumn chased him down the hall the next day, hair bouncing.
"Sure." Tim smiled.
"Well, first of all, you said you were tired of pulling the pranks, is that your only reason you decided to retire?" Tim noted she didn't do as much smiling or head tilting.
"Well Autumn-"Before Tim could answer, Bone ran up to him.
"Oh man! Your got off so lucky! Yesterday, Mr. Brown was caught in the teachers lounge trying to vandalize the place and remove all their things to get revenge on the school or something- I mean he was piss- drunk, so they assumed he took the student belongings too! You got off scot- free bud!"
"Give me all the details!" Autumn demanded.
Although Tim didn't get the media attention he use too, and not as many phone numbers, Tim was always the coolest guy in the school. He was a legend that lived on through Gotham Junior High for years, even after he left the school. He had never been so popular in his life. Look at the year book- he was practically on every page three times.
10 years later...
"That STUPID Keystone City Kings flag!" One of Tim's university friends growled. "Someone should do something about it!"
"Yes... someone should." Tim smiled and headed in the direction of the flagpole- lighter in hand.
END