The Book of Izaya
A/N: I don't own anything but my imagination! This fic is brought to you by the fact that somewhere in the light novels and maybe anime, it's stated that Izaya's name is partially derived from the name of the Biblical prophet Isaiah, so I thought, "haha, why not?"
CHAPTER ONE: Izaya son of Orihara in the land of Tokyo is visited by a personage in his tower. A wild man, the son of the tribe of Heiwajima comes to discuss the safety of his land of Ikebukuro.
And it came to pass that Izaya, son of Orihara, dwelling in the land of Tokyo was visited by an black rider, much against his foresight.
2 Thus Izaya spake, saying, "Horsewoman, I beseech thee to return to whence thou camest from, that cursed land of Ikebukuro, and visit me no more."
3 Which angered the black rider, causing her to stand steadfastly and tap in rage at her magic stone tablet, which she then shewed to Izaya who deciphered the runes and shrugged.
4 Which further enraged the black horsewoman and thus she left his presence in his tower upon high.
5 "It is awfully disturbing to me that I did not foresee an visitation this day," said he, "No harm came of it, however I fear one day when I am called upon by the woman in black she shall seek out my bookshelves and find my secret treasure and take it from me."
6 "And surely when that day comes and the horsewoman reclaims her head and has no need for the tablet, terror will strike this earth."
7 And it came to pass as Izaya prophesied concerning the black rider, the eldest son of the tribe of Heiwajima of Ikebukuro brake down his door and demanded audience.
8 "Shizu-chan, thou damned and beastly Apollyon, I reproach thee to fix my door upon its rightful hinges. Then I will grant thee my ear." But the man possessing the legendary strength of Samson didst not comply and instead shouted,
9 "IIIZAAAYAAA-KUUUN! Thou hast dared to step foot in my family's lands and make mischiefs! I can bare these insults no longer and have come to rid the earth of your pestilence!"
10 Again Izaya entreated Shizuo the son of Heiwajima, amoral protector of Ikebukuro, to repair his chamber door and was once more ignored.
11 Now when Shizuo did finish his shouting, Izaya was sorely afraid but strewed courage about his loins and shewed the brute his own switchblade knife.
12 Also he strengthened himself and built up his intimidation by calling upon the failings of Shizuo who didst snarl and lunge towards Izaya's table. He took it and threw it with force towards Izaya who was blest to be unharmed.
13 For he dodged and rolled away from the projectile, although it did crash mightily through the tower's window and didst plummet to unfortunate peoples below.
14 Notwithstanding Izaya didst chide Shizuo,
15 "Know ye not the debts ye now accrue upon breaking my window and table and of the injuries of the passersby below?"
16 Causing Shizuo's distraction and infliction of an cut by Izaya's hand, and he roared with the wrath of twenty lions and did cause Izaya to fear.
17 But Izaya cowered not, for he admitted he wast pleased by his adversary's refusal to hide his light beneath a bushel regarding his talents of physical prowess.