Disclaimer: The Rat Patrol is not my property. They come out to play sometimes, then I send them home.

War and Peas

By Suzie2b

The Rat Patrol had finished a recon mission that, not only got them caught by the Germans, but nearly got them killed when they escaped. It had been a very intense time on an unfamiliar base. However, they did get the information High Command wanted and managed to get away with only minor injuries that they took care of themselves.

The closest Allied base after leaving the Germans in disarray was Benghazi. They reported to Captain O'Connell, who was waiting for the procured information and were told, "Captain Boggs wants you to stay put until your next assignment comes through."

Troy asked, "How long will that take, sir?"

"Five to eight days."

Hitch asked, "If we're going to have to wait that long, why can't we just go back to Ras Tanura, captain?"

O'Connell replied, "Boggs didn't say and I didn't ask."

Troy and Moffitt smiled at one another knowingly. Moffitt said, "Do you think they can stay out of trouble for five to eight days?"

Troy said, "I give 'em forty-eight hours, tops."

Captain O'Connell looked at the four of them suspiciously. "I'm willing to give you the time off, as long as you stay on base. Heaven knows you all deserve it. But if there's going to be a problem…"

Tully said quickly, "No, sir, no problem."

Hitch nodded. "No problem at all, sir."

The remainder of that day was all about showers, clean clothes, and a hot meal that didn't have sand in it.

They were leaving the mess hall when Hitch said, "I still feel wound up. Anyone wanna have a beer with me?"

Troy, Moffitt, and Tully were in agreement, so off they went.

#################

When Moffitt woke up the next morning, the only one in the room the four of them were sharing was Troy, who was at the small table writing out a report for Captain O'Connell. Moffitt sat up and put his feet on the floor with a sigh. "My, I don't remember the last time I've slept like that."

Troy smiled. "Yeah, I know the feeling. We all slept late this morning."

Moffitt looked at his watch with surprise. It said the time was 8am. "I guess so." He grabbed his pants and started to get dressed as he asked, "What are Tully and Hitch up to?"

Troy shrugged as he went back to his report. "They were gone when I got up. I found them in the mess hall, but they wandered off after breakfast and I came back here. You have any plans?"

Moffitt buttoned his shirt, tucked it in, and sat down to put his boots on as he said, "Breakfast first. Barber second. After that we'll see what happens."

Feeling well-groomed after his haircut, Moffitt decided to see what books were available at the base library—preferably something not pertaining to war. As he walked through the streets, he heard some shouting and loud laughter. As he looked to his left, Moffitt smiled when he saw Hitch and Tully playing soccer with a group of other soldiers. He was glad to see them blowing off steam and having fun.

The novel The Door by Mary Roberts Rinehart caught Moffitt's eye and he took it with him to find a peaceful place to read. He found a bench in a shaded alcove where he thought he wouldn't be disturbed.

Several hours passed somewhat quietly before Moffitt stood and stretched. His stomach rumbled and he looked at his watch—time for some lunch.

In the mess hall he got his food and found Tully sitting alone. "Mind if I join you?"

Tully smiled up at the sergeant. "Have a seat, sarge."

Moffitt sat down as he said, "I saw you and Hitch playing soccer earlier. Who won?"

"I'm not real sure anyone was even keeping score. It broke up when some of the guys had to get ready to go on duty."

Moffitt noticed five paper straws in Tully shirt pocket. "What're those for?"

Tully smiled and took dried peas out of his pants pocket. He let them roll from his hand onto the table. "I have to have a way to deliver the ammo."

Moffitt's eyebrows shot up. "A pea shooter? Tully…"

A small green projectile hit Tully in the side of the neck. "Ow!" He looked around the crowded mess hall and spotted Hitch sneaking out the door. Tully pulled a straw from his pocket and gathered the peas off the table. "S'cuse me, sarge, but I need to take care of something."

Before Moffitt could stop the private, he was gone. He sighed and shook his head as he said to himself, "Troy gave them forty-eight hours. It hasn't been quite twenty-four yet."

#################

Tully carefully stepped out the mess hall door and looked around, but there was no sign of Hitch. He stayed close to the walls and kept his eyes on the rooftops as he walked down the street. Something small and hard made a tink sound as it hit Tully's helmet. He spun around in time to see his assailant disappear into an alley.

With a grin on his face, Tully saw a ladder leaning against a building where some repair work was being done. The owner of the ladder was currently on the ground, so Tully took the advantage and climbed to the roof of the two-story building as people watched with curiosity. Then he made his way to the edge that overlooked the alley. As he carefully peeked down, he could see Hitch hiding behind some barrels, poised to attack.

Tully moved to a spot that put him directly over Hitch. He put five dried peas in his mouth and lay down on his belly with just his head over the edge of the roof. Then, one after another, Tully let his ammunition fly. He hit his target on the head once, the back of the neck twice, and missed altogether with two shots.

Hitch hollered and covered his head, but by the time he looked for his attacker, Tully was gone, laughing as he ran across the rooftop.

It wasn't long before talk of the running pea shooter battle was making the rounds of the base. Most people laughed after being caught in the pea crossfire, but a few complained that "they're going to put someone's eye out with those things."

That evening, when Hitch and Tully showed up at the quarters they were sharing with their sergeants, they found both Troy and Moffitt waiting for them. Hitch looked from one to the other, noting the look on Troy's face, and said, "Hi, sarge…"

Troy gave the privates a hard look. "Don't 'hi, sarge' me."

Tully ventured, "Are we in trouble?"

"Not yet, but I hear you're working on it. I heard rumors that there was some kind of 'pea shooter war' going on. I was hoping it didn't involve you two, but then Moffitt told about what happened in the mess hall."

Hitch said innocently, "We were just playing around, sarge."

Tully added, "We didn't hurt anybody."

Troy sighed. "And I'm not really mad at you. I only want to warn you to be careful. I don't want to be told that some officer got razed by peas."

Moffitt said, "And stay out of the Arab quarter with it. Sheikh Saeed II bin Maktoum of the Al Maktoum royal family is said to be passing through with his entourage. He's the last person you want to bean with a pea."

Both privates nodded and Hitch said, "Okay, warning taken."

#################

The next morning Troy opened his eyes when something hit the wall above his bunk and then landed on his chest. He picked up the pea with a sigh. "Hitch, Tully! Take it outside!"

Hitch couldn't hide the smile in his voice as he said, "Sorry, sarge. That one kinda went wild."

Tully grabbed his friend by the arm and started for the door with a grin of his own. "We're leavin'."

Moffitt rolled over as Troy started to get out of bed and said with a yawn, "Boys will be boys."

Troy grumbled as he stood up and reached for his clothes. "Yeah, but why does it have to be our boys?" He grabbed his towel and shaving kit. As Troy headed for the door, he stepped on several of the hard green peas that now littered the floor. "When I see those two, I'm gonna drag them back here and watch them sweep this floor."

Troy and Moffitt missed Hitch and Tully at breakfast, but heard that the cook had thrown them out of the kitchen after they'd picked up some more ammo. Troy mumbled, "It's gonna be a looong week."

Moffitt simply grinned and sipped his tea.

#################

Hitch and Tully took a break from what they had dubbed "War and Peas" to play a round of horseshoes with some friends. They did a good job of entertaining the others as they shot peas at one another in the middle of their throws.

And then the running battle somehow got started again. They ran around the base laughing and shooting peas, warning people to duck as they went.

And then it happened…

#################

Troy and Moffitt were getting ready to go get lunch when there was a knock at the door. When Moffitt opened it, he was handed a folded piece of paper and told it was for Sergeant Troy.

As Moffitt closed the door, Troy asked, "What's that?"

"A message for you."

Troy sat down and started to pull his boots on. "Go ahead and read it."

Moffitt unfolded the paper. "It's from Captain O'Connell. He wants to see you immediately."

"Let's hope it's about our next mission. You better come along."

When Troy and Moffitt walked into the captain's office, the first thing they saw were two contrite looking privates standing to one side of O'Connell's desk. The second thing the sergeants saw were the paper straws on the desk, along with two piles of dried green peas.

They both saluted and Troy said, "Reporting as ordered, sir."

Captain O'Connell stood and circled the desk to stand before the sergeants. "Are you aware of what your men have been doing, Sergeant Troy?" Before Troy could answer the captain continued by pointing to the straws and peas as he said angrily, "First I received a formal complaint from the head cook about these two stealing peas and straws." He began pacing. "Then, not a half hour ago, I get a report that Sheikh Saeed II bin Maktoum was hit in the face by…" O'Connell stormed to the desk to pick up one of the offending green pellets and said, "…one of these!"

Troy scowled at his men. "You were told to stay out of the Arab quarter with this little game of yours."

Tully quickly said, "We didn't go anywhere near the Arab quarter, sarge."

"Then how…"

O'Connell broke in with, "Sheikh Maktoum was here at headquarter. He had requested a meeting with the colonel and was hit as he left the building afterwards."

Moffitt frowned. "Oh dear."

Hitch said, "It was an accident."

"Accident or not you two may well be in a lot of trouble."

O'Connell said, "They're lucky the MP escorts prevented the sheikh's guards from killing them on the spot! We're talking about a possible international incident here!"

Troy was trying to find something helpful to say, but there was a knock at the door. Before the captain could respond, it abruptly opened and Sheikh Maktoum marched in followed by his personal guards as one of the MPs said, "Sorry, sir, he insisted…"

"That's all right. Just close the door and don't let anyone else in."

Sheikh Maktoum pointed to Hitch and Tully. "These are who hit me and gave me this?" He indicated the small red welt on his right cheek.

O'Connell stammered slightly as he said, "Yes … yes it is, Sheikh Maktoum. Privates Hitchcock and Pettigrew. They are extremely sorry for the accident and would…"

Ignoring the captain, the sheikh moved to stand in front of the privates. "What weapon is there that can do this?"

Hitch and Tully looked at Captain O'Connell, who said impatiently, "Well, explain it to him!"

Hitch slipped past Sheikh Maktoum to go to the desk. He quickly picked up a straw and several peas. "The accident happened with these, sir."

The sheikh took the items from the private and examined then, then asked, "Which of you hit me?"

Tully said, "That would be me, sir."

Sheikh Maktoum handed the straw and peas to Tully. "Show me."

Taking the items, Tully looked at the captain, who gritted his teeth as he said, "Just do it, private!"

Tully shrugged slightly. "Well, sir, first you put the peas in your mouth." He did that, then mumbled, "Then you just take this…" Tully put the straw in his mouth and blew. Three peas pinged off a metal urn on a table and knocked it over.

Sheikh Maktoum gestured for one of his guards to bring the urn to him. He examined the small dents in the thin metal, then said, "Such a small thing can do damage to metal … amazing." The Sheikh had the guard replace the urn. He then took one of the straws and some peas off the desk. He placed the peas in his mouth and inhaled deeply … then began to choke.

Hitch hit Sheikh Maktoum on the back to dislodge the inhaled peas and a guard pushed him back a step to take his place with a warning glare.

Captain O'Connell stood next to Troy and Moffitt and whispered urgently, "Oh my God! They're going to kill one of the royal family!"

Once the sheikh stopped coughing, Tully said, "Sorry, sir, I should have mentioned that you should inhale through your nose, not your mouth."

Sheikh Maktoum nodded. "I understand." He picked up some more peas and said, "I will try again." This time the sheikh took a breath through his nose and blew hard. One pea plinked off a water glass next to the urn, shattering it. The second bounced off the wall behind the table. The last one finally hit the urn with a satisfying ping. Sheikh Maktoum smiled. "I must practice. Where might I get more of these weapons?"

Hitch said, "We get them from the mess hall, sir."

"What is a 'mess hall'?"

"It's where we eat."

Captain O'Connell quickly said, "If it would please you, Sheikh Saeed II bin Maktoum, I can arrange to have a supply delivered…"

The sheikh shook his head. "That is most kind of you, captain, but I would be interested in seeing this place. My people will take care of the rest."

"As you wish."

Sheikh Maktoum looped one arm through Hitch's and the other through Tully's. "Now, take me to this place where you eat. I am interested in seeing the reason it is called a mess hall."

They walked out of the office with the sheikh's guards following. Captain O'Connell stared after them with disbelief.

Moffitt smiled as he said, "Crisis averted."

Then the captain said, "Well, go after them! Make sure Hitchcock and Pettigrew mind their manners and don't cause any other problems!"

Troy grinned. "We're on our way, captain."

After the office was cleared out and the door closed, Captain O'Connell went to his chair and slowly slouched into it. His body ached from the tension and his heart was still beating as if it wanted to burst from his chest. "Now I know why Boggs wanted them to wait here for their orders. He needed a break."