DISCLAIMER: All characters, places etc exclusive to the world of Harry Potter, belong to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers. I am not making any money from this.

A/N: This is pretty much an AU fic, and will most likely be just one chapter (though I may get carried away!). Contains OotP spoiler. Please RR but no Flames. Enjoy!

The Real Petunia

"Have a good day at the drill fair with daddy." Petunia said, wrapping her arms as far as she could around her overweight son.

"I want some money." Dudley demanded as soon as he'd pulled away from his mother's embrace.

"Tell you what; I'll buy you anything you want once we get there." Vernon said, eager to get going as soon as he could.

"Anything?" Dudley asked with a greedy look in his eyes.

"Anything. And the sooner we get there the sooner we can see what there is to buy." This seemed to be the motivation Dudley needed to leave.

A minute or so later Petunia was waving goodbye to her husband and son as they drove off up the road. After shutting the front door, Petunia headed into the kitchen where she had left Harry washing up the breakfast things.

"When you've finished the washing-up you can dry everything and put it all away." She instructed her nephew on entering the room.

"I know." He mumbled, placing a freshly washed plate in the drip-dry rack next to the sink.

Choosing to ignore Harry's slightly moody tone, Petunia walked across the kitchen and took a pen and notepad out of one of the drawers. She then sat down at the table and proceeded to write Shopping List on the top sheet of notepaper. Looking up for a moment, she got a glimpse of Harry's eyes as he turned in her direction to look for a clean tea towel. They looked just like Lily's.

'Don't do this to yourself Petunia.' She thought, forcing herself to look back down at her blank shopping list. Each time she looked at her nephew it was her sister that she saw in front of her. As much as she pretended to Vernon that she was disgusted and ashamed by what her sister had grown up to become, she could never pretend to herself. She had loved Lily move than anything else in the world (with the exception of Dudley), and not a day went by in which she didn't feel guilty about not being a part of her life when she'd had the chance.

'I did it to be safe. If Vol... if he knew we were related to Lily and James he may have come after us.' Petunia was always trying to convince herself that her actions had been justified, but it never stopped her from hurting. Feeling her eyes begin to fill with tears and not wanting Harry to see her cry, Petunia got up, put the pen and notepad away, then quickly left the kitchen. Heading up the stairs towards her and Vernon's bedroom, Petunia Dursley knew exactly what she was going to do once she was there.

Shutting the door behind her, Petunia went straight over to her wardrobe, opened the pine double doors, and began moving various handbags and other accessories off of the top shelf. A minute later she was sitting on the bed, holding a shoe box full of photographs. Removing the lid, she found herself looking at a faded photo of two young girls, smiling up at the camera and each holding an ice cream cone. She turned the picture over and read the familiar words – Petunia and Lily, Brighton 1961 – written in their mother's immaculate handwriting. Petunia remembered that holiday fondly; it had only been for a long weekend but had been the best four days of her childhood. It was during that weekend that Petunia and Lily had vowed to be best friends forever.

Wiping away a tear, Petunia put down the picture from Brighton and began looking through the rest of the box. At the very bottom there was a photograph of the two sisters in a silver frame. They had their arms around each others shoulders and over-exaggerated smiles on their faces.

"I'm so sorry Lily." As Petunia spoke, the photographic images of herself and Lily stopped smiling and let their arms slip back down to their sides.

"I know I don't treat Harry as well as I should but it hurts too much to look at him. He's only here because you're not. I know you wouldn't want me to think that way but I can't help it. I'm sorry."

To show she understood and forgave her sister's actions, Lily wrapped her arms around Petunia's image and smiled at both the photographic and real versions of her older sister. As both versions of Petunia managed a smile, the real one found herself remembering an argument her and Vernon had had the night Harry was left on their doorstep:

"I will not have one of their kind living in my house Petunia."

"He's just a baby! And you read that letter; this is the only place in which he'll be safe."

"Poppycock! They just said that so they wouldn't have to look after the boy."

"Dumbledore isn't like that Vernon. If he says Harry is only protected in my care then Harry is only protected in my care!"

"How do you know what that man is like?"

"Because I do. But now is not the time for this Vernon. My sister was murdered to save Harry's life and I will not let her death be for nothing!"

"Before tonight you didn't want anything to do with that woman."

"No Vernon..."- She should have told him the truth then and there. Even in retrospect she couldn't work out what possessed her to say what she said next. -"...I just mean that maybe if we take him in he'll grow up to be normal."

"Vernon hates that Harry's a wizard. I pretend I feel the same as him but really I'm just scared that You-Know-Who will be able to find him more easily if he's a part of the wizarding world. If Harry was a...er...muggle, is that the word?" Lily nodded and so Petunia continued; "I can't help but think that if he was a muggle, he wouldn't pose a threat to that man. He'd be safe and your death wouldn't be in vain."

For the next hour, Petunia sat crying over the framed photograph. Then, once she had put the box back in its hiding place and applied some makeup to conceal the fact that she'd been crying, she exited the room. But, before going down stairs, she paused outside Harry's room and muttered the words that she could never say to her nephew's face; "I love you."