If Edward left again
Inspired by worlds best fictional romance novels by Stephanie Meyer.
chapter one: Pain.
There are still times when I do think of Edward. Still times when I wish he could be here with me. Yet, I had lost all faith in him ever coming back to be with me. The pain is there once again. That hole was once again punched in my chest. And I never had my chance to marry him like he had asked so many times before. I still have my dreams. My bad dreams. Things that were just unthinkable for me to dream. Dreams beyond my imagination. But I dreamt them anyways. I still look to Jacob for comfort. That seems to take most of the pain away.
Maybe Jake was right. Maybe he is better for me. Maybe I am better with him. I know he wouldn't do what Edward did. Never. Never ever. It would just be unthinkable to him. Immoral. I know how much it pains him to see me in this much pain.
I went down to the kitchen to do my usual for Charlie. Make dinner. Aside from those duties, I'm now an adult, so me and him agreed that if I was to continue living here, I would do the rest. I needed a place to stay. And dipping into my college fund was completely out of the question. I wouldn't do that just to get a place for me to live in all alone with no one there but me, myself, and I . And there is no way I'll put myself in danger by becoming an old cat lady. No way!
"So whats for dinner tonight, Bells?" asked Charlie all the from the living room.
"I'm not quite sure yet dad. I'll have to look and see what we have."
I looked. The fridge was almost clean of food. "Uhhh dad. Looks like I need to go to the store tonight. Or we could eat at the diner." I said.
Charlie never really minded going to the diner when there really wasn't much to eat in the fridge. But since Waylon died, he never really cared if we went or not. Maybe the sole purpose of him wanting to eat at the diner every night was because his best friend worked there. Who really knows?
"How about we go to the diner and we'll pick up some food for tomorrow?" Charlie asked
I hesitated for a moment. "Yeah. Sure." I managed to choke out. That never really crossed my mind until just now.
All I could do was just look and stare at my food. The pain was too unbearable for me to eat. The thoughts of my dreams and the fact that Edward is gone kept replaying over and over in my head like a broken record that couldn't be fixed.
Bella, it's for your own good. I'm leaving again so you don't get hurt again. The volturi still want you. I'm not putting you threw that. So I'm leaving. For good this time.
Those thoughts. The phrases "So I'm leaving. For good this time" are the ones that hurt the most.
"You'll get through this, Bella. Everything is okay. Just go about your life as you did before he came into it. Hang out with Charlie, Jacob, and the wolf pack. You'll never hurt again if you stop thinking of him" Is what I tell myself all the time now. But as horrible of a liar I am, I never really convince myself that everything is okay. I lie to myself everyday then. I'm caught in my own lies.
Moments later, we finish dinner and grocery shopping. While I'm in need of comfort tonight, I drop Charlie off at home and head over to Jacob's. While he's still angry at Edward for leaving again and now resents him even more, Jake and I still keep a close bond. Even though I'm not in love with him like he is. But I need to bond with someone. And Jessica still really hates me and Angela is a busy person, being that she went on to be a professional journalist. So really my only option is my best friend, Jake.
Jake saw me coming down the road, and greeted me by the door. What a loyal and trust worthy friend.
Jake and I haven't talked much in the past couple of months, so it was surprising to see his smiling face again through the storm door. I smiled in reaction to seeing him smile. And then, almost like magic, the hole seemed to have disappeared. And everything felt right again. I could once again feel my heart racing. Strange...I've never felt this way with Jake. "Am I sick?" I thought to myself. I couldn't seem to shake this feeling. But I had to. I felt wrong feeling this way.
Once the racing of my heart stopped I jumped out of the truck and ran to Jake and gave him a big hug. There it was again. The strange pounding of my heart.
"Jake I missed you so much." I said in an oddly happy voice.
"I missed you too, but why do you sound so happy? It's just me, Bella." He replied with a smile.
"I'm happy to see you. Why else would I be happy?"
"Hmmm... I don't know. So what's up? You doing okay?" He sounded a little worried about me.
"Don't worry! I'm fine now. Let's go in and hang out." I offered
We went in the house and I knew there were other people there like Embry, Paul, Jared, Sam, Emily, Seth, Leah, and Billy. But when Jake would talk to me, it would be as if they weren't there. Like it were just me and him. Like the time when we were rebuilding the bikes or the time when we kissed. When I wanted him to kiss me. Those memories. The good ones. The ones I miss the most. They all seemed to disappear with the memories of Edward but had come back into my mind once again. I smiled at the memories, hoping no one thought I was crazy. Seems how they couldn't read my mind.
It felt good to feel the warm heat of Jakes skin again. I had felt so cold lately. Mentally and physically. It felt good when Jake put his arm around me and pulled me at the hip. So warm. But not so right. The feelings I was having felt...wrong!