Okay, yes, Britney Spears song, we know. But, this fit how I felt when I was writing this, and it fits what I did to Jou. So yes, anyways, moving on.
Bold: Jou's thoughts (First Person Jou P.O.V.), all 'he's' refer to Seto
Bold Italics: Song Lyrics
Italics: His letter
Regular: Third person, omniscient
That's done, on with it.
Notice me, take my hand
Jou cried, curled up in a tight ball on his bed, his sobs grew louder and louder as he lay there… thinking was too painful for him, thinking caused remembering… Remembering everything…
I know, I've always been ignored by someone… but why does it have to be him now? Why him of all people!?
Why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Jou's sobs grew stronger. He was singing in a broken voice, in broken chords, with broken heart to match.
Why did you begin to ignore me… our love was too strong for that… Maybe… Maybe I'm pretending, maybe I only thought our love was strong… Did our love even exist?
Why carry on without me?
Jou sat up, his tears still running freely. He walked over to his dresser lightly running his hands over all the objects sitting there.
You can carry on without me can't you… That cold exterior will get you though it… But… I have nothing to protect me. You were my shield, my fortress, you protected me…
Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
Jou's finger stopped when he reached a picture, a picture of Seto Kaiba, the sobs grew louder as he picked up the picture letting a few crystalline tears hit it.
My wings… You were my wings… you make me feel so small now… I've tried to fly… move on… I can't… the pain is too much… why did I leave you?!
I guess I need you, baby
Jou gently set the picture down. He moved towards a drawer, he slipped it open and pulled out a sheet of paper; he sat down and began writing a letter to all of his friends, his sister, and to Kaiba.
I thought I could live without you… but I do truly need you… forever and always…
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
Dear Everyone,Please, I beg of you to forgive me for what I am about to do. For I am a coward, and I cannot stand to live in this world any longer, the pain has encompassed my heart, my eyes, my mind.
Yes… I dream about you… I dream about you every night… those sweet touches… whispers… endearments… those ice blue eyes are haunting me… I guess I really do need you… I need you before I go even more insane, if that's even possible…
I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done?
To Kaiba, I'm sorry, but don't forgive me, I'm not worth it. I've caused much too much pain for me with my idiocy. As for you I have no idea, but don't lament if there is any pain. You will find someone that will deserve and love you.
I pretend too much. Did you know that? Of course you did… You knew everything… How could you not know something like that? I mean, it was so obvious, I think, I even pretended that we had love… I was blinded… It's sad actually.
You seem to move on easy
To Yuugi, don't let this bring you down. It, in all honesty had nothing to do with you. And I don't mean that much to people in this world anyway. So no hard feelings, otherwise I might accidentally drag you down to hell with me.
You're so distant… like before, no one knew… no one knows… Except me and my broken heart… and the tears that flow steadily down my cheeks…
And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
Shizuka, don't cry over me. Those beautiful hazel eyes shouldn't be filled up with tears especially over your idiot big brother. My purpose in life was to save your eyesight, now that that's done, I have no more reason to live.
I don't need you. Why would I? I'm my own individual; I don't need you to help me with anything. Ever…But, I know that no matter how many times I repeat this… I know can't fool myself… I know I need you… I always will….
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
Honda, thanks for helping me with all of those worthless fights and sticking up for Yuugi with me. Good times, remember them, not me.
You're sadistic, always haunting me… Do you even know you are? Why am I even asking myself this… You always know… I'm sure you know now, and you're enjoying every minute of it… You also know that I know nothing… I'm just a worthless dog in your eyes. I am so worthless, so alone… So lost…
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry
Setting down his pen, he walked over to that same desk drawer, opening it once again, this time not for a sheet of paper, but for a razor blade. He set the paper at what he thought was a safe distance away from him and slowly dragged the blade across his arm.
I know what I did… I know it was my fault, being the idiot I am, I didn't think I needed you… Would you let me back if I asked? No, I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anyone. I'm better off dead. So I will be. Soon, soon now, darkness will take me under and mark me as a permanent resident.
At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away
The blood welled up from his newly acquired wound. He watched it, one drop on the carpet, two, three, four… this sight was beautiful to him… crimson blood, mixing with other stains on the floor… Overtaking…Overpowering… Just like the darkness in his heart…
Your face will never fade form my memory, no matter how much I want it to. No matter how much I pray.
And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
The blood pooled on the floor, mixing with his tears, as he fell to the floor, the picture of Kaiba slid off the desk, crashing to the ground, breaking the glass in its frame. The last words to escape the blonde's slowing cooling mouth were, "I'm sorry…"