Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the Twilight franchise.

A/N: Hi guys! I've been reading a lot of AH Twilight stories, but I have yet to see one with a real summer camp theme. So, I decided to write one! I have no plans to do anything more with A New Family Member. I think in its entirety it was merely to answer what ifs and make for a nice fluff piece. I planned for something more angsty, with the Volturi involved, but then I thought it was fine just as it is. So, there probably won't be a sequel, but you can still vote for one if you want it on my profile. I have a really busy summer, including going to Klamath Falls and summer camp! *Squee!* I'll probably spend more time writing in notebooks than the computer this summer, but I'll try to type and get you updates! I already have like 6 very, very long chapters already in my notebook for this story. Hugs to Brookie for looking at it and encouraging me to edit and post it! Love ya! By the way, have you read her story, Go On And Cry? She's revamping (no vampires, just making it more awesome) it. It's also an AH. Did you guys read my last AN on ANFM? Well, the situation with one of my best friends is going better. He'll (the love interest) be okay. But she told me I couldn't turn it into a fanfic. So sorry to disappoint you, but the wishes and welfare of my friends comes first. Okay, that wraps up my very first long and rambling AN. I think this is the longest AN I've ever had.

Summer Camp by cheerfulladybug

Song: Gives You Hell by The All American Rejects

Chapter 1: Day One In Hell. And Hell Has Rules.

EPOV

Day one in hell. I'm not kidding. Camp Kenyan made me wanna upchuck the pizza I had for lunch. Totally not my kind of place to be. The buildings were a cheery, sunshine yellow that made me want to spray paint them black. They had white picket fences and neat flower beds with violently colored flowers. It was like walking into a rainbow shop on the set of one of those 50's movies. You know, the kind where everything is perfect and happy in Townsville. I was only here to serve my exile sentence prescribed by my parents.

"Thanks, mom," I grumbled, watching her drive away in MY car. I clutched my suitcase angrily. That was one part of my completely retarded sentence. The 'rents took away my car so I couldn't go anywhere without their supervision. The major part of my sentence was that I had to serve at this hippy-dippy, sunshine and unicorns, rainbows and cheeriness, lame-ass camp, as a counselor. For the WHOLE FREAKING SUMMER! Yeah, I know, the whole experience of going to camp is supposed to be all magical and awesome, but for a whole freaking summer? Hell no!

I picked up my suitcase, and tossed it in the large pile outside a cabin marked 'Chief's Cabin.' I opened the door, and walked in on a bunch of teenagers like me and a handful of adults sitting in a circle. A tall guy with a potbelly stood up from his chair. His name tag read, Little Joe. The head honcho. I guess Little Joe isn't quite so little. Everyone's eyes were on me. I must be late.

"Ah! Mr. Cullen! So glad you could join us! Please sit down," he enthused, motioning for me to sit in the only empty seat next to a burly guy that looked like a professional wrestler. He grinned at me, and it sent a little shock of fear through my body. I still sat down, though, because Cullen men are not wimps. As I turned my eyes to the circle, I could see that most of the girls had their eyes on me. Oh well, it'll be like normal, I thought.

Seeing that I was seated, Little Joe spoke up. "Seeing as Mr. Cullen was so late, he didn't get to hear the rules. Can anyone tell him what they were?"

Immediately, hands of girls shot up. There were only a few whose hands stayed down, and they were three high school girls and all of the adult females.

Little Joe chuckled at their enthusiasm. "Alright… Ms. Stanley? What is rule number one?"

A short brunette with curly hair and too much makeup on put down her hand and answered. "No illegal substances, drugs or tobacco are allowed on campus. No weapons either," she answered, looking at me and trying to look sexy. It wasn't working.

"Thank you, Ms. Stanley… Ms. Mallory, what is rule number two?" Little Joe said.

"No electronics. No cell phones, iPods, Mp3s, CD players, game systems, computers or anything that uses batteries or is plugged in. But we still get to have hair dryers, curling/straightening irons, and other electronic beauty products," said a silvery blond with fish lips. She pouted when she said cell phones, and it made her lips look worse.

"Thank you, Lauren… Now, Miss Swan, can you tell us rule number three, please?"

A brunette looked up, blushing. She was one of the girls that didn't put her hand up. She was beautiful… she had chocolate brown eyes and long, mahogany hair. Her skin was pale, but it had the look of iridescence. She glowed, like a moon goddess of some forgotten pagan civilization. Her skin looked oh so soft, and I wanted to see if it felt as soft as it looked. Her skin was tinged a soft rose color from her blush, and her eyes wouldn't meet mine as she talked. I forgot my current bitter mood, mesmerized by her.

"Rule number three is no purple," she said, her blush turning a furious shade of red.

I was very puzzled. Was this camp against a simple color? Surely not, because Little Joe had on a purple baseball cap.

He looked at me, and saw my puzzled face. "Ms. Swan? Would you care to elaborate?"

"Purple is the codename for sexual activities," she whispered so quietly I could barely hear her. Her blush was almost fire engine red when she said this.

The pro wrestler beside me snickered. Jerk.

I glared at him a bit.

That caused him to burst out guffawing.

"Mr. McCartey? Is there something you'd like to share?" asked Little Joe sharply.

The wrestler guy stopped laughing. "No sir," he said seriously, but I could still see the twinkle of a laugh in his eye.

"Alright, then. Let's continue," he said. "Ms. Denali. What is the last rule?"

"Curfew needs to be followed on the weekends when we're allowed to leave camp," she said. I don't even know what she looked like, because I was so wrapped up in watching Ms. Swan.

"Thank you, very much, ladies. I'll introduce myself once more, and then hand the reins over to Samoa. I'm Joe Quell, but you need to call me little Joe, alrighty?" he said. Everyone agreed, and he sat, while an average height woman with red hair and pale skin stood up.

"Alright! Time for your camp names. Chose carefully, because these will be the names you'll be called the whole summer. They will be the only names you are called by, and it is your responsibility to answer to them and not your real names. The campers will also call you by these names, so nothing inappropriate," she commanded, and glared right at the pro wrestler guy.

Oh shit… I have no idea! I thought.

A/N: So, was it everything you ever dreamed of? Didja enjoy Pissedoffward? Don't worry. He has a good explanation for being so pissed and bitter. And are you going to make my day and review this new awesome piece of crappy fan girl literature?

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