(A/N) Heyy. Heres a new one-shot. Im sorry for not updating WhyMe. I am currently working on Please dont leave me's sequel. Its been taking me a long time, Ive been working on it everyday, but it will hopefully be up by tomorrow. So heres sommat to keep you going till then.
JUST A WARNING THOUGH; POSSIBLE CHARACTER DEATH; SUICIDE; CUTTING; FEMSLASH; ETC.
no POV.
Mitchie Torres lay still on her bed, the tears were still falling down her face, but they had become silent tears, not sobs like before. She was upset, depressed, she couldnt deal with it anymore. For she had a secret which she had been hiding for so long, and she had decided that she couldnt keep it anymore. She wanted her best friend, Alex Russo, To know how she felt. Thats Right, Alex Russo. Her best friend, Her Girl best friend. Mitchie had realised 4 years ago that she was in love with her, She was 12 Years old when she realised she was in love with a girl. She was 16 now, and was still completely head over heals in love with her. When ever Alex asked her to do something, She would do it, no question about it, Whenever Alex told her she loved her, all she could do, was think to herself, I love you to, but honestly, you'll never know how much. And whenever Alex was near her, her brain would shut down, and she would stutter most of the time around her.
But the worst part was, that Ales was one of those touchy-feely best friends, She would hug Mitchie and Kiss her cheek, forehead, lips, everywhere, but to Alex, It was no big deal. It was just a comforting thing, She'd kiss Mitchie good night at sleepovers, and put her arm around her waist to hold her close, but that was all it was, keeping her best friend close. She'd kiss Mitchie when she was upset, and tell her everything would be Okay, she'd Hold her close until the tears stopped, but not this time, because Alex always knew what the tears were for whenever she comforted her. This time, like so many others, Mitchie was crying in private, Alex wasn't there.
Mitchie lay under the covers in her bed, The darkness surrounding her, the lights in her room were off, her black-out blinds were closed, and her Tv and Computer were off. It was pitch black, silent, all that could be heard was Mitchies breathing.
She could make out faint shapes of the things in her room. She got off the bed, and opened the top drawer, she pulled out a small bag, and took out a few pieced of tissue, she unwrapped the tissue, and took the razord blade from inside. She rolled down her left sleeve and quickly slashed the blade, hard, across her skin. It went deep, and hurt alot, but she didnt feel enough pain, she did it 5 more times. She then felt around for the tissue the blade was formerly wrapped in. She put the tissue on her arm and let it soak up the blood. She put the blood-covered blade and tissue onto her bed, and walked out of her room.
She went to the bathroom, and turned the light on, Her eyes stung a little from the sudden light, and from the tears that had finally stopped falling. She looked at her arm. She saw the 6 newest cuts, they were deeper than the rest, There was a total of 17 cuts running down her wrist, 17 cuts, and 5 burns. Because sometimes, cutting didnt help, she didnt feel pain from cutting because she had done it so many times, so she would heat up her straightners, and burn herself, because she always felt pain from that.
She ran the cold water, and splashed it onto her face. Her eyes stung less and less everytime, she carried on. She grabbed some more tissue to re-wrap her blade with, and walked back to her pitch-black room. She wrapped the blade up, put it back in the bag, and put the bag back in the drawer. She climbed under her covers again, and closed her eyes.
She woke up the next morning, her blackberry was ringing. AlexBABEE(: calling She read on the screen, Alex had changed her name on Mitchies phone a few weeks ago. She pressed the reject call button, and then saw that she had 14 missed calls from Alex. 2 minutes later, she got a text from her. She read it.
Mitch, babe, whats up, Why wont You answer my calls? We gotta be on set in half hour Txt bk (:
-Ax
She hit the reply button.
Just woke up, Sorry, Dont feel well, cant come work today, Tell Director, Yeah?
-Mx
She waited a few Mintues when her phone vibrated again.
Aaah, babe, Okay, I'll tell him, get better soon baby.
I love you
-Ax
Mitchie didnt text back. She let a tear fall down her cheek after she read the 'I love you' part, because she knew that she only meant it as a friend, and thats all she would ever mean it as. Mitchie decided she couldnt do it anymore, going through everyday speaking to Alex, seeing her gorgeous face, and knowing that all she would ever be to her, was her best friend. She lay back down, and out her iPod on, 3oh3! - Im not your boyfriend, came on first in the playlist, she listened to the song, then the last words played through her head: Take the white pill, You'll feel alright.
Good advice she though to herself. She went downstaires and found a note left by her mom.
Mitch,
Gone to Aarons, be back tomorrow, You're dinners in the microwave, Heat it up when you get hungry. If Alex comes round, theres A bottle of WKD in the fridge you can drink, but dont be stupid with it. Kay?
CU tomorrow.
Love Mom x
Mitchie smiled, her mom was out, she had the house to herself. She went to the drawer that her mom kept all the keys and letters and cigarettes nd lighters and stuff in. She pulled out one of the 20 packs of Sovereign, Her mom had around 200 boxes of 20, she wouldnt miss one box. Mitchie took the box outside, and got a lighter, She lit the cigarette, and started to take drags. She knew it was bad, and wrong, but she couldn't help it, She'd been doing it sinse she was 12, that and cutting, It had been her only way of dealing with Alex.
After the cigarette was finished, she put the packet and the lighter in her pocket, and went back to the kitchen. Then she remebered the song. Take the white pill You'll feel alright. She went to the medicine cupboard, and searched through the tub. There was a bottle of white pills, she wasn't sure what they were, but they weren't paracetamol, or painkillers, they were definately something that would finish you off. She took the bottle and a pad of paper and a pen up to her room. She started to write.
Alex
When You read this, I'll be gone, I have to do this, It's whats right for me, 'cuz life just aint working out. You're honestly my best friend ever, You've changed my life, ever since that day we met queueing up for the barney auditions, and I saw you, You looked so beautiful, so I asked you to colour with me. Since then, we've been best friends, but then, when we were 12, I realised something, I realised that, I love you, as so much more than just a best friend, I realised that Im head over heals in love with you. I realised it the day we were at the park, when those boys came up to us, and one pulled you hair, and pushed you into the mud, and I went up to him and kicked him for hurting you. Then when I was there, comforting you, rubbing Your grazed knee, I realized that I would do anything for you, and that I loved you. I still do, I need you to know that. I'm leaving you everything I own, I love you so much Alex, I promise to always love you, no matter what, I'll look after you. I just needed you to know that I love you.
forever.
Mitchie
xoxox
She finished writing the note, she folded it and wrote ALEX really big on it. She went to her bathroom, and grabbed a glass of water. She started to take the pills. Then, everything went blank. Her eyes closed and she felt tired. Her tears were silently falling until her eyes closed, for the last time.
Alex's POV.
I decided to go to Mitchies after work, to make sure she was Okay, I called her, but she didnt answer. So I drove down to her house. I let myself in with the spare key she gave me, and went up to her room, I knocked on the door, but she didnt answer, I guessed that she was asleep. I went in, and turned the light on. I saw her lying on her bed, still, asleep. I went up to her, she didnt look ill. Then I saw the half-empty ottle of pills, and the note with my name on it next to it. My eyes filled with tears as I realised what was going on. I picked the note up and read it. Once I had finished, I grabbed her hand, I felt around for a pulse, but I couldn't find one. I knew what had happened, I now knew why she had done it aswell. She didnt think I loved her too.
"Mitchie... No, come on baby, wake up, I love you, please, wake up, Please, Im begging you. Dont do this to me. PLEASE!" I screamed at her to wake her up, but it didnt work, I knew she wasn't going to wake up, but it didnt stop me from trying. I leant down and kissed her, something I had done many times before, in the hope that she would kiss back, but she never did, this time was different though. I needed her to kiss me back, but again, she didnt. I pulled away, and broke down at her bedside. I looked at the sight before me. My best friend, the girl I was in lov with, and who was apparently in love with me, lying there, dead, not coming back.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and dialled 911, I told them to bring an ambulance, and explained what I assumed had happened, I sat there waiting for the ambulance, The door was still unlocked from when I came in, so I knew they would get in easily. I sat on the edge of the bed, and held her hand, begging her to wake up. I was still sobbing, unable to hold it in.
The ambulance arrived, and put her in a body-bag. A woman paramedic took me to the living room, and asked me about her.
"Do you know why she would have done this?" She asked, then it completely hit me.
"It's my fault." I whispered, almost inaudibly
"Dont be silly darling, Im sure she absolutely love you, it cant have been your fault." She tried to reasure me, she didnt understand.
"No, she did love me, thats why she did it, shes my best friend, she left me a note, saying that she'd been in love with me since we were 12, and thats why she did it, she didnt know that Im in love with her too, neither of us ever had the guts to tell eachother, if I had told her, it would have been different, and she wouldnt have done it." I told her. The womn shook her head, and pulled me into a hug, she rubbed soothing circles on my back.
"Shhh... Shhh.. let it out, It's not your fault, You did what you thought was best, kept your feelings to yourself, come on, Its not your fault. Is there anyone I can call for you?" She asked me, I shook my head, but then pulled my iPohone out.
I dialled my moms number, and asked her to come down to the hospital. I explained what had happened with Mitchie, and she said she'dbe right there. I then called Mitchies mom, and told her to come to the hospital. I didnt tell her what had happened, I just put the phone down, and climbed into the back of the ambulance with my beautiful Mitchie. She was hooked up to aload of Machines, one of them was breathing for her, Paramedics were examining her, then one came over to me.
"Theres nothing we can do I'm afraid, she took too many pills, We can keep her on life support for a few weeks, If you'd like, but other than that, theres nothing." I broke down for the second time that day, I wasnt hearing it. I shook my head, my eyes widened. I looked to Mitchie, and grabbed her hand. I kissed it lightly, and lowered it again, still holding onto it. The paramedic carried on. "also, there were ALOT of cuts and scars and burns on her wrists. Just thought it was best you should know." I nodded, and the rest of the ambulance journey was a blur, there were people running around in the back, someone was still pumping her chest, even though they knew it wouldnt help, and someone, Im not sure who, what sitting next to me, trying to stop me from sobbing.
We were at the hospital, me, her mom, and my mom, everyone was just by her bedside. Watching her chest go up and down, thanks to the life support machine.
"Ms Torres?" I asked the broken woman next to me, she was sitting there, shaking from shock.
"Yeah Alex?" She asked me.
"I think that, we should swith the machine off." She got a shocked expression on her face. I carried on.
"Because, there are people here now, people who are dying, that it can help, It cant save Mitchie, she didnt want to be saved, we're just going against what she wants, I really think we should turn it off." I added. she nodded her head.
"Your right Alex, but how do you know she didnt want to be saved?" She asked me, looking for any excuse she could find to keep the machine on.
"Because... If she didnt want to be saved, she wouldn't have taken the pills." I said, silent tears falling down my face as I remebered that bottle. She nodded, and called for a nurse. someone came.
"We're gonna turn her machine off. Alex told me, that if she wanted to be kept alive, she wouldn't have taken the pills. So we're going with her last wishes." Connie said, holding back a sob.
The nurse nodded, and lead us to the plug so that we could pull it out. Connies hand reached forward, but just as she went to pull it out, another nurse ran into the room yelloing "STOP!"
We turned around, and saw a young girl, around 20, she was smiling brightly, and then said "Before you do that, come with me. QUICK!" That was enough for us to follow her as fast as we could. We went back into Mitchies room. She was still lying there, nothing had changed, except she wasn't connected to the machine anymore, bur her chest was still rising and falling. I broke out into a huge smile, as my mom and Connie were still trying to work out what they were looking for.
"What are you smiling at Alex?" Connie asked me.
I pointed to Mitchie. "Look, she isnt connected to the machine anymore." Connie looked down, upset.
"Yeah, I didnt even get to turn my own daughters machines off, somebody already did it, thats really something to be happy about." She said sarcastically, before crying into my moms shoulder.
"No, look at Mitchies chest, she's breatheing, without help." I said quietly. Connies head snapped up as she realised what I was happy about. we all ran to Mitchies side, I took her left hand, her mom took her right. Her eyes started to flutter open.
Mitchies POV.
I opened my eyes, I couldnt see properly, it was all blury, but I felt both my hands being held, Just then, it all came rushing back to me. The Pills, The cuts, The note I left Alex, Alex. I remebered that if she had read the note, that she would hate me. I prayed she didnt read it.
My vision was starting to get better, and I could make out the shape of my mom, Theresa and Alex. I looked up at them, and smiled weakly. My mom smiled at me, and so did Theresa. Alex was already smiling anyway. I then said to my mom.
"Mo... Mom.. Ca..can I have some time alone wi... with alex?" I asked her, My throat hurt alot, and it hurt to talk, but my mom nodded, and her and Theresa left.
It was just me and Alex, she was still holding my hand. I was about to speak when Alex interupted me.
"I got your note." she said with a blank tone.
"And?" I asked her.
"I cant fucking believe you Mitchie! You tried to kill yourself, you've been cutting yourself, and burning you self for god knows how long, and you've apparently been smoking for fuck knows how long aswell! Yeah, thats right, they found the packet of cigarettes in your pocket!" She screamed at me. Im guessing she was mad.
"I'm sorry Alex." I said as a tear fell down my cheek. Her facial expression softened when she saw me cry. she let go of my hand and wrapped her arms around me.
"Look, Mitch, Im not gonna tell you that You'll be okay, because I honestly dont know if you will. But I am gonna tell you this. That note you left me tore my heart in two. You saying you've been in love with me since we were twelve. Mitchie, It would have been my fault if you'd died. You could've died, just because I never had the guts to tell you how I really feel about you, I never had the guts to tell you that I've been in love with you since I was around 13." She said, and I smiled so big it was unbelievable.
"Alex, I love you so much. I didnt want to lose you, thats why I never told you before." I said, she smiled and hugged me tighter. I was seriously happy.
She loosened her grip on me a bit and sat on my bed with me, Her arms still wrapped around me.
Alex's POV:
My arms were still wrapped around her, I put my hand on her face, and turned her to face me. I leant in to her, and kissed her, she kissed me back, it was amazing, out of all our kisses before, this was the one time when It meant the same thing to both of us. We pulled back, and just sat there, me holding onto her. She whispered something to me. Then i panicked, she whispered "Goodbye baby."
Then, I felt her stop breathing. I called for a nurse. She rushed in, and got me off the bed, and out the room, I explained to my mom and Mitchie's mom that she'd stoped breathing again, we all watched through the window, and then A doctor came out to us.
"I'm sorry, life support wont work for her this time, theres nothing we can do. Im trully sorry." He said, My knees buckeled, and I fell to the floor in a broken heap. I sobbed against my hands, My mom tried to comfort me, but I pushed her away. Connie tried to comfort me, but i pushed her away aswell. They didnt know what had happened between us. I ran out of the hospital, I couldn't handle it. I ran as far and as fast as I could. I didnt bother too look when I crossed the road. i felt something hit me hard, and then I felt tired.
I fell asleep.
Now Im with my girl, Now Im with my Baby, Now Im with my Mitchie, both of us together in heaven, forever.