-OMG GUYS! This archive is ALIVE! I was just so glad when I went online and suddenly I saw lots of new stories! Kyaaa!

Written for 39addict101's Cahills' Online Chatroom Contest. This…is not exactly a chatroom, or even a valid entry, but, it's the best and most original I can think of, so I have no choice but to just roll with it. Also please don't kill me for being late, 39addict101. RL is first priority. So I just have to love her for extending the deadline.

The guidelines were simple—all child clue-hunters and the Rosenblooms must be there (simple, huh?), Jamy and Natan and any rating are perfectly allowed, OCs are a no-no, humour is a required genre, a story format must be in place, and, the rule that breaks my heart the most: Amian could only be one-sided. That honestly drained my tank of inspiration just a bit, but here I go.

39addict101 said, 'You can customize it so that it would be yours.' This particular allowance made me think for a moment, and my thinking came up with this. I know I'd get disqualified for not making it a chatroom if I weren't already disqualified for being late, but I've always been that lone rebel in the corner. ;)

Note: This fic is a bit wacky, so don't take it seriously!

The World in a Microchip

The Cahills. Ah. They were the family that started it all. They were a family so influential that they had shaped the course of history of the world. There was not a single war or achievement that did not somehow involve someone who had the superior Cahillian blood running through their veins.

It all began when Gideon Cahill made a serum so powerful it became the primary object of huge volumes of histories hidden beneath the codes of all the world's wars. It was the very thing that separated the family itself into four branches that had been in much turmoil ever since—hostilities had never been silenced until each branch got the serum, the power, that it wanted.

Grace Cahill. She was the family's influential matriarch who had instigated such a hunt so that the 39 Clues, safely hidden from underneath the paintings of Vincent Van Gogh, the diaries of Anne Frank, the music sheets of Wolfgang Mozart, the philosophies of Friedrich Nietzsche, the crimes of Jack the Ripper, the writings of William Shakespeare, and the physics of Stephen Hawking, will finally come alive.

So with the bang of the gun, the Cahills had dashed into a race around the globe, tricking, double-crossing, and maligning one another just so they would get the Clues that they wanted, scrambling over the power that they had lusted for so much.

That hostility, however, calmed down with the mission of the Madrigals.

But the peace never lasted. The Cahills would always, always have war on their hands. Unbeknownst to the Cahill generation of the 21st century, a secret organization known as the Vespers have been making their move even while the whole family was in a chaos scrabbling for the Clues. The Vespers had struck the Cahills in a war unimaginable, but in the end, it is the Cahills' will, strength, determination, unity, that triumphed over evil and saved the whole world from imminent destruction and inevitable mass genocide.

Crazy, right? But it's true. They've done it all.

However, though, as Fiske Cahill observed all his thirteen nieces and nephews, he realized that there was something that the Cahills hadn't done for a very long time.

Nothing.

And he'd never seen them all so bored.

"Ah, everyone!" he began trying to cheer them up with the bounce in his words. "I have a brilliant idea to light up this summer afternoon! How about we play truth or dare?"

"Urgh, Uncle Fiske, please," whined the one and only, Jonah Wizard. "Can't y'all think of something new?"

"Yeah!" agreed Hamilton Holt. "No offense, but we've done that already for like a million times and I'm not doing that game like ever again. That's just, like, soooo old-fashioned."

Fiske recoiled. Kids calling him 'old'?

"NO!" said Jonah, jumping out of the couch and gesturing wildly. "I said I need ideas, bros! Those JW Pez dispensers and Gangsta Pop-up Books are really cool and the Wiz Lollipops are selling like hotcakes on the market, but my bashers say I gotta do something that appeal to kids more. Come on, give me ideas, guys!"

Ian cleared his throat, apparently having noticed Fiske's discomfort. "Jonah, please, respect for the elders. Even though we may have been Lucians, the 'snakes', if you will, at least Natalie and I do everything with grace, poise, and absolute elegance—"

And the double-doors suddenly exploded with an earth-shattering blast and out came the cackling wild witch who poisoned Snow White.

"And THAT is what you get for putting mustard in my luggage, you contumelious cretin!"

Everyone stared at the Natalie Kabra, who was laughing and slapping her knees like she really meant it in such an unladylike way that it shamed even Ian.

"I…take that back."

"My pants, my PAAAAANTS!" came the screaming of Dan Cahill. He burst through the doors and pushed past the laughing Natalie, all the while frantically tapping his fiery buttocks. "Aahhh, they're burning, they're BURNING!"

"Burning?"Ian looked incredulously at his sister. "Natalie!"

The girl innocently examined her nails. "What?"

"Dan!" suddenly screamed a panicked Amy, hysterical for her brother's welfare. "What have you done?" Then she glared at everybody else. "Don't just watch there, everybody, get some—"

"Water?"

The offer suddenly came from behind her, and Amy looked at the two boys that had caught her heart—Jake Rosenbloom and Ian Kabra, who now held two pails of water that forced her to choose who among them she should choose.

She blushed a thousand shades of red. "I-I…erm…"

But before Amy could decide, though, Ham had already splashed a bucket over at Dan and his burning behind, halting the screaming and drenching him in water from bottom to top. All the Cahill cousins scrambled worriedly over the wet boy.

"What just happened, yo?" said the baffled Jonah.

"Dawg, are you alright?" said the concerned Hamilton.

The Starling triplets, however, remained seated on the same couch like Siamese cats, yawning like they were still bored out of their minds.

"Classic."

"Typical."

"That's what you call normal."

The Holt twins were more enthusiastic about it, however.

"That was AWESOME, Dan!" cheered Reagan.

"Do it again, do it again!" urged Madison.

Natalie smirked, held up a dart gun, and sauntered over to Dan with a deadly grace. "Oh, gladly."

Dan immediately drew back, frightened. "No, get that woman away from me!"

"Hey!" protested the Starlings.

"What the—" gasped the Holts.

And in no time, Dan was running around wildly in the living room while Natalie chased for him. Once more the Cahills were plunged into utter chaos as every person tried to calm those two fighting grammas down.

"Natalie, stop behaving like a vulgar East Ender!" scolded Ian. "Get here this instant!"

"Dan, if you don't stop," threatened Amy, "I'm going to burn all your baseball cards collection!"

"Dan!"

"Natalie!"

"Amy, NOOOO!"

"What? Jake?"

"Atticus…"

"Ian—"

"Natalie."

"Ooh, a roll call!" said a Holt twin. "Madison here!"

"Reagan!"

A punked up girl was just passing by. "Well, I don't know what's going on, but this sounds like fun. Nellie!"

Amy groaned. "Guys—"

"Ned."

"Ted."

"Sinead."

Amy looked at her incredulously. "You too, Sinead?"

"I'm gonna HAMMER y'all to bits! Get it? Huh? Anyone get it?"

"And don't forget da Wiz!"

"Your dear Uncle Fiske!"

"Mrrp."

"STOP!"

Everyone's heads—including Saladin's—veered over to Amy.

Satisfied of the silence, Amy sighed. "Okay, Uncle Fiske, you see what happens when we're not even doing anything? Playing truth or dare will burn this house, and I don't want to spend another nineteen million rebuilding Grace's mansion."

Fiske thought that Amy couldn't understand. "But Amy, my dear, playing games will strengthen your bond as Cahills and—"

Amy was quick to retort. "No truth or dare, no double dare, no dirty double dare, no Would You Rathers. I'll only allow the playing if it doesn't put the house on fire."

"How about Scrabble? Chess? Monopoly? Those are peaceful games." People nodded in agreement at that.

Amy put two fingers at her temple in a desperate attempt to calm her blood pressure down.

"Sinead, the last time we played scrabble, Dan ended up drowning in the pool and we had to confine him to the hospital for two weeks because of the water in his lungs."

"Hey! That's was Natalie's—"

"And the last time we played chess, Dan threw the bishop and made a hole in our 52-inch flatscreen TV."

"Natalie CHEATED!"

"And the last time we played monopoly, the FBI, MI6 and the CIA all came bursting at our door thinking there was an emergency because a certain dweeb who shall remain unnamed had called them over."

"Ooo, I wonder who that is," wondered Dan.

Everyone groaned and didn't even try to think how a seemingly innocent monopoly would lead to something like that.

Natalie shook her head helplessly. "Seriously…"

"What? I needed to call them! Natalie was bankrupting me!"

Amy sighed for the umpteenth time. "The point is, we're not playing."

"Truth or dare?" offered Fiske.

"Uncle Fiske." She looked at him squarely in the eye. "The last time we played truth or dare, Nellie's kitchen exploded."

Everyone looked at Dan.

"Why is it always me?"

"So, with that said…all of you. Get out. I'm still going to clean the now messy living room because of the dweeb."

Jake approached his girlfriend with a hand. "But Ames—"

"Amy, love—"

Amy glared at both Jake and Ian. "I said out."

—o—

And so, that was why dear Uncle Fiske is at a great distress. He wanted the Cahill children to play. He wanted them to have fun. But Amy had a point—every time they play, they would always get into such an unnecessary disaster that often involved Dan almost getting killed.

They were Cahills, after all.

But Fiske thought that it shouldn't always be that way. Even if they were Cahills, they were also children. They should spend their childhood and teenage days without the stress of saving the world from a devastating catastrophe every time. Amy, at the tender age of sixteen, always worried about the welfare of her brother that she'd go so far as to prevent him from playing a game as dangerous as scrabble. With all that had happened in the past, the paranoia had fixed her into place and prevented her from being a child again.

That was why Fiske had the brilliant idea of summoning the Starlings to his office.

"So?" asked Ted. "Why did you call us, Uncle Fiske?"

Fiske looked at the triplets gravely. "I want you to build a virtual reality and program it so that you and all of your cousins could safely play Truth or Dare."

"Huh?"

"And remember," smiled Fiske, "to make it fun."

I'm sure you already know where I'm going with this. ;)

Mind dropping me a review?