Another fic that is finally finished (because exams are coming up, naturally).
We all like to pretend the "Pete" thing didn't happen. But, well, I kinda like the guy in a way that gives us the perfect angst outcome for our favourite couple. So, this is set somewhere Pre-Affinity, sort of a 'missing scenes' with a few things. I like to think that Carter's transfer was well in the works before the end of season 8, and that certain people were not willing to let her leave the SGC. And in my own little shipper-happy world, O'Neill's retirement/reassignment to Washington was part of the deal of Carter leaving the SGC.
Enjoy!
Miss_Mil :)
Sam ran her hand over her face, rubbing her temples. Her head was pounding, her muscles were aching and she couldn't remember the last time she had eaten or even left her lab. She picked up the cup of tea beside her laptop, the tepid temperature making her frown. The laptop screen blinked in front of her, the screensaver coming on from lack of use. She stared at the white light without really seeing.
Perhaps it was time to go home.
Home. She didn't know where that was anymore.
Her house didn't quite feel the same after Janet had gone. It had lost that feeling of warmth that greeted her, knowing that time off meant she could enjoy time with her friend, chatting away as they frequented each other's houses. But Janet wasn't there anymore, and Cassie had moved on to College. As much as Sam had tried to deny it, she had really enjoyed those few months when Cassie had taken up residence in her spare room after Janet's death.
Sam stood up abruptly, the chair flying back into the wall behind her.
She made her way to the door, swiping her card through the reader and waiting for her lab door to slide open. Chewing the inside of her lip, she barrelled forward out the door stopping just in time to avoid colliding with one amused Jack O'Neill.
'Sir,' she stammered, looking up.
'Carter,' he answered slowly, watching her with amused eyes. 'Going somewhere?'
'Uh,' she started. Where was she going? She knew she wasn't going to her house. So maybe it was her base quarters she was getting to in such a hurry. 'I thought I'd just… take a break from the analysis, Sir,' she finished lamely.
'It's oh-two hundred, Carter. Go home.'
She shoved her hands in the pockets of her blue BDU's. 'Why are you still here?'
He smiled briefly, the corners of his mouth tugging up just a little. 'I'm the boss.'
He certainly didn't reveal that he had come in search of her, well aware of the time and concerned that once again she was working too hard. Naturally, it was just a CO looking out for an officer under his command. Well, that's how he was justifying it to himself.
Her eyes narrowed, considering him. She realised just how tired she really was. 'Actually Sir I was just heading to my quarters.'
Jack nodded, gesturing with his hand that he'd walk with her. The two walked in silence for a while, Sam content in the knowledge that he had really come by to check up on her. She was too tired to think any further beyond that, and her headache really hadn't eased up. Truthfully, she was looking forward to getting a decent sleep, and hoping that she had worked herself long enough that the nightmares might just stay away tonight.
They arrived at the door to her quarters and Sam swiped her access card in the reader before pushing the door open. She turned to look at the General awkwardly. 'Well, uh, goodnight. Sir.'
'Yeah, I should probably,' Jack started, unsure of what to say. 'Get going. Lots of paperwork to catch up on.'
Sam half smiled, stepping back into the room as the General disappeared down the hall.
The door shut behind her loudly. Switching on the light, Sam made her way to the small bathroom. The warm spray of the shower was welcome on her sore muscles. She let her thoughts wander. SG-1 was due to ship out tomorrow – or was that today? Daniel was going to brief them on some more ruins that he wanted to fawn over for a few hours. Sam and Teal'c were really just going along for the exercise. But there was some interesting power readings she wanted to check out.
She stood under the water for far longer than she was used to, turning it off only when it started to run cold. Reaching for the towel, Sam dried herself quickly before dressing in a comfortable tank and underwear and climbing into her rack. It wasn't the most comfortable in the world, but truthfully she slept here more often than her bed at home. Over the years of course, sleeping on hard ground off-world had really become what she was used to above all else.
Sam closed her eyes. She gave a passing thought to calling Pete, but figured he would be long asleep and probably realised she was still working when she hadn't arrived home.
The silence in the SGC tonight was unusual, but not unwelcome. The pounding in her head had still not eased and somehow she allowed it to lull her to sleep.
o-O-o
At precisely oh-seven hundred, Jack O'Neill sat himself down in his office chair. Precisely thirty seconds later, Master Chief Sergeant Harriman came running in with an arm full of papers and a steaming cup of coffee.
'Morning, Sir,' Walter muttered, stifling a yawn.
'Walter,' Jack replied, eying the pile of papers suspiciously.
'I have here for you the pre-mission reports from both Doctor Jackson and Colonel Carter for SG-1's planned mission to P5X-789. There is also a letter from General Hammond. He has a request for you.'
Jack resisted the urge to bang his head on the desk. Instead he took a slow sip of his coffee, allowing the hot liquid to scald his tongue. 'Thank you Walter.'
The Sergeant scurried out of the office and back to the control room. Jack glared at the pile of papers left in his wake. Just what he really felt like doing after a few precious hours of sleep the night before. The perks of being the boss; he got to read all the good reports. Once upon a time he would just show up to a briefing, content to listen to Carter and Daniel rattle on which would tell him all he needed to know. Now he actually had to read the damn report and know all the details before the briefing.
Oh, Hammond could so have his job back.
The rest of the morning passed fairly quickly. There was evidently always something to do. It hardly seemed time for SG-1's briefing, but the glare he received from Daniel through the glass told him that he was running late.
With a sigh, he pushed himself up and made his way to the briefing room.
'Jack.'
'Daniel.'
'You're late.'
'I know.'
The two men glared at each other for a moment when Carter cleared her throat. The four of them took their seats at the table. The briefing began with Carter running him through exactly why she wanted to visit this planet and then Daniel began his "Please-Jack-We-Must-Visit-This-Planet" speech. Jack groaned.
Jack stopped him before he could begin.
'Daniel, don't bother. You're going to this planet. And I am coming along.'
Daniel's mouth opened and shut several times before he blinked. 'You're coming along?'
Jack straightened up in his chair. 'Yes,' he said rather cheerily, 'I am tagging along with you three,' he gestured to them with his hands.
'Why?'
'Why, Daniel? Because General Hammond read Carter's report on the power thingy and the prospect of technology stuff that goes with those types of reports and Hammond thought if it was worth checking out then I should go too. So you know, I can make a report to all the people that annoy the crap out of me,' Jack finished folding his hands on the table.
The three members of SG-1 stared at him.
Carter was the first to recover. 'So you'll be coming with us, Sir? Who will be running the SGC?' It was a valid question, given that she was second-in-charge.
'Yes Jack, you are aware that this is an overnight stay?' Daniel tuned in with a smirk.
'Daniel, I know it's difficult to believe but I do actually read your reports,' Jack retorted. 'Colonel Reynolds will be in charge, Carter.'
'Right,' she nodded.
Jack stood up abruptly, causing Carter to spring to her feet in a great deal of haste. 'Well, if there is nothing else, I'll see you in the gate room in two hours.'
The three muttered affirmative words and Jack turned on his heel to head back to that pile of paperwork that seemed to just constantly multiply. Precisely five seconds after he sat in his chair, there was a knock at the door.
'Come in Carter,' Jack spoke without looking up.
Her surprise was evident in her face when his eyes rose to look at her standing hesitantly in the doorway. The question as to how he knew it was her was just burning on her lips, but she stayed quiet.
'Something you wanted?' Jack asked.
'I just wanted to clarify something for the mission, Sir,' she spoke delicately.
'Shoot,' he replied, leaning back in his chair, flicking a pen between his fingers.
'Well, uh, with you coming along Sir, what will be the command structure?'
Jack inwardly grinned. He should have known something like this would bug Carter. Sometimes he forgot just how by-the-book she was, although admittedly she used to be a lot more so in their early years.
'Think nothing of it Carter. Think of me as an observer,' he stressed the last word. 'You'll still be in charge.'
Carter nodded. 'Yes Sir.' She seemed like she wanted to say something else before thinking better of it.
'If that's all Carter…' Jack trailed off, looking at her intently.
'Uh yes, Sir.' She was out of the office at a rapid pace, her blonde head disappearing as she made her way down the stairs to the control room.
Jack sighed. It wasn't that he was dreading a mission with SG-1. It had been ages since he had really been out in the field, a nice stretch would do him good. And from the telemetry the MALP had brought back, the planet was lovely and green and full of Jack's most hated thing in the universe – more trees. Not that it was entirely unpleasant.
What he was however dreading, was the politics that would no doubt follow if Carter's predictions about the power output were correct.
And she was nothing if not usually right.
o-O-o
The three members of SG-1 and one General assembled in the gate room. Sam shifted uncomfortably and decided to do a final check of the gear travelling with them. She was still fiddling with a buckle when the General spoke.
'Everything ready, Carter?'
'Good to go Sir,' she straightened up and looked at him. It had been so long since she had seen him geared up to go off-world. She swallowed thickly as a wave of nostalgia rushed over her, remembering what it was like in the early days, the four of them heading off world together. Back before their moves were calculated, everything thick and heavy with words unspoken between them.
'Okay campers, if it's alright with you Colonel, let's move out.'
Sam flushed a little at the use of her rank, a small but subtle reminder that he was technically in charge but he was willing to let her have a bit of leeway.
Sam manoeuvred the vehicle carrying their supplies and up the ramp to the Stargate. Within a second, she was stepping out into bright sunshine, a slight breeze and trees as far as the eye could see.
'Just what I was missing!' O'Neill exclaimed, tugging his cap free of his backpack and placing it on his head. 'Trees.'
Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow, before setting off in the general direction of the ruins. The General was well-known for his love (hatred) of trees. He felt that if they were going to visit other planets, then they could at least look a little less like Earth.
Sam supressed a smirk and took up the rear of the group. There had been no indication of any hostile activity or of any inhabitants around the Stargate but you could never be too careful.
They walked in silence for a while and Sam let her thoughts wander. She really hadn't slept all that well the night before, strange dreams keeping her awake at odd hours. The dreams made no sense either. But she figured she was just over doing it again.
She had briefly managed to call Pete early this morning before he started his shift at work. She explained she was going on a mission and was likely to be out of contact for at least a few days. He wasn't happy about the idea but accepted it. Sam knew the rest of her team weren't too keen on her new boyfriend, but she figured that Pete really wouldn't spend that much time with her team anyway.
Some part of her was really craving that normal life. The boring nine-to-five job and coming home to someone each night was somehow appealing. After eight years in Cheyenne Mountain, and several years before that trying to get the Stargate to work, it had become her whole life. And she had always justified working so hard by making herself believe that someday she would have a normal life.
Obviously that didn't happen with Jonas Hansen. Maybe it wouldn't work with Pete either. She squashed the thought as soon as it came up. She couldn't deny to herself anymore that her feelings for Jack O'Neill didn't exist, but she wasn't about to spend a lifetime waiting on something that might not happen.
She was determined to give herself that shot at her happy ending. Even if it meant giving the idea of Jack away.
Maybe the team was cursed, she thought bitterly. Teal'c had lost Drau'yac, Daniel had lost Sha're and the General had lost both Charlie and Sara.
'How much further Carter?' The General's voice broke in to her thoughts.
She blinked for a moment behind her sunglasses before taking them off and looking down at her reader. 'Another 5 miles, Sir.'
She heard the General groan.
'I thought you would have enjoyed getting out Jack,' Daniel quipped from behind Teal'c.
'I concur with Daniel Jackson, O'Neill. You never fail to remind us how cumbersome being in charge of the SGC is,' the Jaffa joined in as well.
'Yeah well, maybe I'm just getting old,' O'Neill joked. 'These walks never used to take so long.'
Sam smiled, watching the General's back. It was nice to have the four of them together again.
Before long, the five miles had disappeared behind them and they arrived at the ruins shortly before what Sam had guessed was the planet's midday. The weather was bright and clear, and the ruins themselves were quite expansive. The forest extended around the perimeter and Sam gave a fleeting thought that the city itself would have been quite beautiful back in its day.
'I estimate about six hours before it will start to get dark Sir. I should get started on these readings.'
'Yeah, the text I was interested in is around the other side, to the east of the building,' piped in Daniel.
'Alright, Daniel and Teal'c check out the ruins, Carter and I will go and check out the power thingy,' Jack concluded, waving his hands between them all.
Sam opened her mouth but shut it again quickly. She understood he was a General, but she thought that she distinctly remembered him saying this was her mission. She stalked off in the general direction of the anomalies that had been picked up by the UAV. It wasn't that she was annoyed that the General had come along, but she felt like it ruined her credibility as a leader if he was making the decisions before her.
But she wasn't really one to hold a grudge. At least, not when it came to Jack O'Neill.
Before long she could hear the heavy thud of footsteps behind her and she knew that the General had caught up to her rapid pace through the forest.
'Carter,' he started.
Sam stopped, and spun around to face him, almost colliding with him head on. She hadn't realised he was so close.
'I'm sorry about,' he paused, waving his hands between them. 'You know, before.'
She shrugged at him. At least he was apologising. 'Not a problem Sir.'
Teething problems with their new positions had been expected, so all things considered it was nothing major.
Sam turned around before he could say anything else and headed back off into the forest.
Before long, she had found the outcrop of the ruins she was looking for. She unclipped her P-90 and began to set up the equipment she had brought with her. The General had settled himself on a rock not far from her position, his weapon resting idly on his lap as the experienced eyes scanned the forest.
She worked away steadily, taking readings and recording the important information. It was entirely possible there was a ZPM contained somewhere here and that it was responsible for the power readings they were receiving. Daniel of course was on the other side of the building trying to determine if there was anything helpful in the text.
'Carter, is it just me or do those clouds look like they are coming closer?'
Sam jerked up from her laptop and looked toward the General. He pointed toward the sky behind her.
Her eyes travelled upwards to a rather ominous looking storm front that appeared to be rapidly approaching them.
Right on cue, the radio crackled to life. 'Jack, Sam, this is Daniel. Uh, are you guys seeing this?'
The General grabbed his radio. 'Yeah, we see it.' He clicked off the button before addressing Carter. 'How long do you think we have?'
A vicious flash of lightning lit up the sky. 'Not long Sir, I suggest we find cover. Daniel and Teal'c should be inside the ruins so they should be alright,' Sam raised her voice above the increasing winds.
The General waved and picked up his radio. 'Daniel, Teal'c, we are going to try and find some shelter and wait this out. Carter reckons you guys should be safe where you are.'
Sam gathered up as much of her equipment as she could, and bundled it together. General O'Neill was beside her, gathering what he could. 'I think I saw some sort of cave back along the track. I suggest we head there Sir,' Sam yelled at him, the wind now muffling their voices significantly.
The sky had become completely dark, the lightning highlighting the sky in bright bursts.
O'Neill nodded, and began to head off back into the forest. Sam followed behind, their pace as fast as it could be in the wind. Large drops of rain began to fall, stinging their eyes as they ran through the forest. The water was freezing.
After what seemed like the longest run in history, they made it to the mouth of the cave soaked through and freezing. O'Neill entered first, scanning the cave before settling his pack down. Sam followed behind him, dropping her stuff and squeezing water from her hair. Her breath formed puffs of mist in front of her. God, she hated being cold.
'Looks like this will do, Sir,' Sam muttered into the darkness, watching as the General's back retreated further into the cave. Crouching down, Sam began to unpack her dry set of clothes out of the backpack. What a cliché; the soaking-wet-in-a-cave-lets-get-naked joke had been done to death at the SGC. Unfortunately, it always seemed to be SG-1 that ended up in that situation in the first place.
She guessed that was why General Hammond had organised a spare set of clothes for every SG team member.
Whilst General O'Neill seemed distracted at the back of the cave, Sam quickly stripped off and changed in to her dry gear, wrapping her jacket around tightly to ward off any more cold breezes. She tucked her wet gear into a bag and slipped it back into the pack.
'So Carter, got any packs of cards to keep us entertained?' the General asked with a smirk, sauntering back toward the front of the cave with an air of arrogance about him. Even after all this time he still hadn't lost the fly-boy cocky attitude.
'Unfortunately not Sir. I decided that it shouldn't become a habit of getting stranded,' she answered with a grin.
She guessed they couldn't really count on this as being stranded. But this wasn't how she had expected their overnight stay to pan out.
O'Neill sat down beside her, sighing. 'How long do you reckon we have to wait this out?'
She shrugged. 'I don't know. Hopefully not long.'
They sat in silence for the next few minutes before Sam decided to grab out their portable cooking stove. Perhaps a cup of tea would pass the time. She made her way over to the edge of the cave, sticking the pot out in the rain to catch some water. Her canteen had been left behind in the rush to get undercover.
O'Neill lit the stove and Sam brought the pot over, sticking on top of the flame. She held her hands over the top of the pot in an attempt to warm herself. It wasn't working too well. Why could they never get stuck somewhere warm? The two of them always seemed to get stuck in freezing places.
'So Carter,' O'Neill started, breaking Sam out of her thoughts. 'You think there is an alternate version of us out there somewhere that got stuck some place nice and warm?'
Sam gave a small smile at him. 'I hope so, Sir. Next time let's agree to get stuck on a beach planet.'
'Yes,' he agreed slowly. Sam was reminded of the time with the entity Urgo, and how the General had been thinking about little bikinis. The look on his face told her he was back on that same thought pattern and she smiled. Men.
O'Neill rocked back and sighed. 'I wonder what the alternate 'us' are doing right now,' he mused to no one in particular.
Sam froze. She really hated thinking about the alternate them. It was usually quite an awkward experience for them all. That, and the at least a few of the alternate SG-1 often ended up dead.
'They'd probably be some place warm, Sir,' Sam joked, trying to lighten the tension that had somehow worked it's way in.
'Doesn't your idea of alternate realities include other,' O'Neill paused, waving his hands between the two of them, 'versions of… us ending up in the same place? So wouldn't we all be freezing right now?'
Sam flicked a bit of dirt from her coffee mug and lent over to peer at the water in the pot. Bubbling away, she quickly poured two mugs full and added a tea bag to hers, a spoonful of coffee powder to the other. 'Well Sir, I suppose you're right.'
O'Neill sat back and grinned. It wasn't often that happened.
'But,' Sam started, and she saw O'Neill roll his eyes. 'It all depends on the events in their timeline, Sir.'
O'Neill glared at her, gruffly taking the coffee mug she offered. 'You just love this stuff, don't you?'
She smiled. 'Of course, it's fascinating to think that there are other versions of us out there that took different paths to ourselves.'
Wrapping her hands around her warm mug, Sam inhaled the scent of tea.
'For one,' she continued, staring out at the rain. 'We have encountered several versions of myself that didn't enter the military. But ultimately I ended up part of the same program.'
'So you're saying that it's pretty much inevitable that the four members of SG-1 meet at some stage in whatever reality?' O'Neill asked, a slight smirk on his features.
Sam shrugged. 'It seems to be that way, Sir.'
'Great,' the General said sarcastically. 'I have to put up with Daniel wherever I go.'
Laughter filled the cave as Sam realised what he had said. 'I will tell Daniel you said that, Sir.'
'Carter, do you ever think it's a little odd that in every alternate reality we are, you know, together?' his sudden serious tone made Sam freeze.
She really didn't want to address this now. Or ever, really.
'Uh,' she started, shuffling around and tucking her legs up underneath herself. 'In what way do you mean?'
The rain was pounding down harder than ever, the lightning increasing and the wind howling. But still the silence in the cave was deafening.
'Well, we have never come across an alternate realty where I was married to Daniel,' he joked, trying to cover his awkwardness.
Sam choked on a mouthful of tea. 'I can't really say why that is Sir. If had to guess,' she took a breath, and stared down in to her cup. 'It is a result of me not joining the Air Force.'
She looked up to find the General staring at her intently.
'Is that so,' he drawled out, and Sam suddenly had the feeling she couldn't read what he was thinking. 'Still, I could think of worst people to be married to.'
Sam smiled, despite the previous untouched topic of conversation. 'I could be married to Mackay.'
O'Neill laughed. 'Now that I would love to see.'
'Considering most of the guys I date Sir end up dead, I can honestly say I would have been glad for it to be Mackay after he called me a dumb blonde.'
O'Neill supressed a grin. He had heard about that particular comment from one of the junior officers that happened to be in the mess at the time. He was genuinely surprised Carter hadn't knocked him on his arse. But he knew she was above such behaviour. Most of the time.
They lapsed into silence, both trying hard not to think of what could happen if Carter really wasn't in the military.
But she was, and that was that.
The rain began to ease and a peak outside showed the sun getting very close to the horizon. They were certainly not getting back to the Stargate tonight. A quick conversation between them and Sam would gather something to start a fire whilst the General checked in with Daniel and Teal'c to make sure they had everything they needed for the night.
There was something at the back of the cave that looked like it would burn so Sam grabbed as much as she could before dumping them down in a pile close to the entrance. She really didn't feel like dying from smoke inhalation tonight if they couldn't get proper ventilation.
The General tossed her a lighter and she flicked the button to ignite the flame. Whatever it was, it looked a bit like timber and it burnt just the same. Within an hour, both of them were warmer than they had been all day. The storm had since passed, revealing a beautiful purple sunset with brilliant streaks of green thanks to the particles in the atmosphere.
Stars were already peeking out from behind the clouds.
They cooked their dinner in silence mainly, with idle chit chat here and there. Both of them were distracted with their thoughts. Sam had been unsettled with the situation ever since the General had brought up the alternate versions of them. It was something she generally tried to avoid thinking about. The 'what ifs' were just too much.
And she didn't want to lose herself in the thoughts of possibilities.
But somehow the thought of being married to Jack O'Neill was tantalising.
She never figured herself for the marrying type after Jonas. But it was always possible the alternate Sam Carter's had never met Jonas if they had never joined the military. Still, she meant what she had said to Doctor Carter in the briefing room; she really couldn't imagine not going military.
But then she had never known anything different.
The night passed quickly, and she opted to take first watch. She felt too wired to sleep now.
'Well Carter, I'm going to hit the hay – er, rock. You'll be alright?'
It was a statement more than a question.
'Sure,' she nodded, turning her back to him to sit next to the fire and look out over the stars.
She heard the sounds of the General getting out his sleeping bag and settling down. His watch would start a few hours before dawn. In the meantime all she could do was sit and think.
The hours ticked by and Sam let her thoughts wander back to Pete. She knew she wasn't really sure about him. But she didn't want to analyse that now. Those thoughts belonged in a box she never wanted to open. The box was in a dark, small corner of her brain where almost everything to do with Jack O'Neill was also kept.
Well out of bounds.
o-O-o
Jack O'Neill groaned and rolled over in his sleeping bag. This was one thing about going off-world he didn't miss; the hard sleeping ground. It had only been a few minutes since Carter had woken him for his watch. It had taken him a while to drift off to sleep, caught up with the idea of staring at Carter's back as she sat at the mouth of the cave.
The moonlight was out in full force, and it was such a cliché the way it reflected off her golden hair. But Jack was more focused on the way her shoulders slumped slightly; the way she held her face on her hands.
Something was on her mind. And he had no doubt it had to do with him bringing up the alternate realities they had encountered over the years.
The thought of being married to Carter was one he avoided at all costs, particularly since Daniel had come back in the first year of the program sprouting about how he had met an engaged version of the two of them. Those thoughts were banished away.
But it was hard not to think about it sometimes. He had been married once, and it really hadn't worked out so well. Jack knew Sam had a failed engagement behind her (the guy was a lunatic) so it was crazy that he even contemplated the idea. She was with someone else so that made it even worse.
Jack sighed and rolled out of the sleeping bag, shoving it to the side and walking over to the fire. Carter still sat by the edge of the cave, shuffling slightly to turn around and face him. It was still dark outside.
'Anything to report Colonel?'
He saw Carter jump slightly as he spoke, which he figured at more to do with the use of her rank rather than the surprise at the noise.
'Uh, no Sir. All good.'
He nodded. 'Alright, get some rest. I'll wake you at oh-seven hundred.'
Carter stood up roughly, stretching. He guessed she had stayed their all night. He should know, he had watched her for half of it. Jack sat down next to the fire, fiddling with the laces on his boots and flicking bits of sand into the fire.
He could hear her getting organised behind him, the sound of her jacket hitting the rocky floor as she climbed into her own sleeping bag. It hadn't warmed up much. He glanced back behind himself and saw her form encased in the sleeping bag, puffs of breath swirling around her in cold mist. Nope, definitely still cold. He shuffled closer to the fire.
The hours passed fairly quickly, all things considered. His mind was elsewhere. He was thinking about them. Again.
Eight long years they had worked together. He tried not to think too hard on the places they had visited, and what it had meant for the two of them. It had taken Carter lying half dead on the floor of an isolation room for him to realise he cared about her a lot more than he was supposed to. But if he really analysed it, he had known long before that moment that she wasn't just another Captain under his command.
And that was the problem. The two of them were destined to never be together, that much he was certain of. And that was why the prospect of alternate realities was so tempting. To see them, together, and see what it would be really like. To view themselves outside of their constraints; to morph fantasy into reality.
It always came down to the same choice; them or the world. And they world always won.
Jack turned around again, glancing back at Carter. She was on her side, facing away from him, her blonde hair sticking out in tufts from under the sleeping bag. He wasn't stupid, she was trying to move on. He had to as well.
He probably wouldn't be able to, at least very successfully.
If the rumours he'd heard were true - and it was the one thing about the SGC was that the rumours were usually correct - the relationship between Carter and Pete (was that his name?) was serious and if that was the case, Jack was sure a proposal was imminent.
The thought made him cringe. There was no way he was going to that wedding.
At least he could admit to himself the only wedding he was attending where Carter was the bride was one where he was the groom.
Jack shook the thoughts off as he heard sounds of Carter stirring. A quick glance at his watch told him the time had passed quickly and it was nearing the time for them to get moving. Right on cue the radio crackled and Daniel spoke.
A glance at Carter told him she's heard Daniel's check in. The sun was coming up and it was slowing warming the frozen earth. She was busying stowing the sleeping bags into their respective packs, the early morning sun catching her hair and turning it into a brilliant shade of gold.
They quickly downed some breakfast before dousing the fire and setting back off in the general direction of the ruins to meet with Daniel and Teal'c. She set a rapid pace through the forest, obviously keen to get back to her work. But Jack knew her well, and something was definitely bothering her.
And he had a fair idea as to what. The same thing was bothering him.
They traipsed through the forest, exiting into the clearing around the ruins to find Daniel and Teal'c waiting for them.
'You guys have a good night?' Daniel asked in a tone that Jack felt was way to cheery for that time of the morning.
Jack grunted and Carter gave a non-committal shrug.
'It was cold,' she murmured.
'It was… fun,' Jack commented dryly.
Daniel stared at them both and Teal'c raised his eyebrow impassively. Jack could tell by their expressions that they were acutely aware of just how awkward the night had been between the two officers.
'Right, well Teal'c and I are done on the translations. Nothing is really mentioned about a ZPM, or anything remotely related to a device that would utilise something needing that much power so…'
Daniel trailed off at Jack's glare. So it had been a colossal waste of time them coming to this planet in the first place. Jack sighed and ran a hand over his face, glancing at Carter. She looked just as mildly irritated as he felt.
Which was to say that she was extremely annoyed.
Carter moved off and went back to the wall she was examining the day before. Jack resisted the urge to just flop down on the grass, throw his cap over his head and stuff his fingers in his ears. Some days, he really hated the fact that he had to now worry about the paperwork that came with failed missions and explaining to the higher powers that all their money was really going nowhere was now his job.
He was also caught on the vague idea of teasing Carter that she seemed to be wrong on this particular occasion.
'Sir, there is some sort of power build up here.'
Carter's voice interrupted his thoughts. He turned quickly on his heel, his muscles tensing. Years of black op's still left their mark. His blood ran cold.
Something was wrong.
A quick glance to Teal'c told him that the large Jaffa sensed it too.
'Carter!' O'Neill yelled at her, sudden panic taking over his voice.
He briefly saw Daniel glance up in surprise from his notebook, looking at Sam. Jack took three long strides in Carter's direction.
But he was too late. A spilt second later, he watched as a shockwave emanated from the ruins, branching out and striking Carter. The force knocked her over, her body going limp and falling to the ground.
'Damn it, Carter,' Jack half growled, half yelled at her as he ran the rest of the way to where she lay fallen.
This mission was really not going so well. He shouldn't have left his office.
o-O-o
The sound of the machines beeping in the infirmary was one sound that was far too familiar to the members of SG-1. Jack sat on his usual chair, mentally making a note to order one that was far more comfortable. Surely that was in the SGC budget.
Carter lay before him, hooked up to an IV machine but nothing more. A few tests had revealed nothing more than the burst from the ruins merely providing a bit of a shock to her system. She should wake any moment.
They had gotten her back to the base fairly quickly, Teal'c and Jack sharing the load of carrying Carter back to the Stargate. The trip really didn't seem to take that long. Jack had sent another SG team to retrieve the gear that they had to leave behind. Thankfully Daniel had offered to contact Carter's boyfriend – he shuddered at the word – so Jack didn't have to make that phone call.
No way was he going to do that. Not even for Carter.
He preferred to sit back and pretend like the jerk didn't exist.
Surely that could be arranged? Too bad Maybourne was off-world. He could be useful for something.
A slight stir from the bed caught his attention.
Weary blue eyes gazed back at him.
'Hey Carter.'
She stared back for a moment, and there it was.
That look.
It hit him hard, almost like he had been punched.
It was the same damn look she had given on that ship four years ago. The same damn look that told him she loved him; and that she was glad he was always by her side. His look was probably the same too, he realised with chagrin. The one look that told her he loved her and that she was all that mattered to him.
'What happened?' she murmured.
'You got knocked out by that energy thingy. We brought you back here,' he glanced at his watch. 'Oh… ten hours ago?'
The surprise registered on her face. 'Ten hours?'
Jack smiled. 'Yup.'
She stared at him blankly.
'You feelin' alright?'
It was a stupid question, he knew. But he couldn't think of anything else to say. Her response was just as predictable.
'I'm fine, Sir.'
The corners of his mouth twitched. God, sometimes he hated the way things had to be. His thoughts drifted back to the alternate universe conversation. Somewhere out there he was sure there was a version of himself that was able to hug Carter like he wanted to. Regulations be damned.
But that wasn't this universe.
And he had to stand here and pretend like she was just another officer under his command.
'Well, as much as I hate to leave this lovely party Carter, there is a whole heap of lovely paperwork on my desk just itching to be completed,' he joked.
She smiled.
Jack awkwardly shoved his hands into the pockets of his BDU's before shrugging and shuffling his way out of the infirmary.
He made his way to the elevator, leaning back on the base wall as he waited for the car to arrive. It had been a hell of a two days; Carter being knocked out, the two of them freezing their butts off in another cave on another bloody planet. Now he had to pretend like he was really excited about the prospect of paperwork.
Especially since the report would read that there was really nothing of interest on the planet, there were unpredictable weather patterns and there were more trees than you could poke a stick at. Oh, the powers higher up in the grand chain of command would be so impressed with that report.
Jack ran a hand over his face as the elevator arrived. He stepped inside and jammed his thumb into the button for his level.
He was really getting sick of this. The option of retirement was looking more and more like an opportunity not to be missed.
Some part of him was in denial. He needed the SGC as much as it needed him.
And the prospect of seeing Carter daily was a tempting reason to stay. But he didn't know how long she would really be there. A certain stack papers on his desk had begun to haunt his thoughts.
He arrived at the level he was waiting on and stepped out of the elevator, his ground covering stride taking him to the entrance to his office in no time.
Jack was ready to shoot anyone a death-inducing glare if they dared to speak to him about anything that needed his attention. He scurried into the office as quickly as he could before closing the door and sitting himself down in the chair.
Right before him loomed that pile of paperwork; including the haunting request for a transfer of one Colonel Samantha Carter.
Jack shoved it to the bottom of the pile. He wasn't sure he was ready to let her go yet. But he wasn't sure he would ever be ready to let her go.
He could always say the request got sent to the wrong address if anyone asked.
o-O-o
Her time in the infirmary was brief; the energy wave proving to be nothing more than a rather strong electromagnetic field. Before Sam knew it, she was back in the locker room getting her things together for a well-overdue trip to her house.
She had called Pete earlier, doing the standard check in. Daniel had been kind enough to call him earlier. A part of her was grateful, the other half mildly annoyed that she had to report to someone on her daily movements. She was definitely glad it wasn't the General that phoned Pete. That would have been one awkward conversation.
Sam sighed, and gathered up a few things before setting off out the door.
She walked without thought to the elevator, punching the number with extra force for the surface level. It wasn't long before the elevator stopped again, another passenger getting in.
'Carter,' O'Neill greeted. 'Heading home for the night?'
She swallowed roughly before answering. 'Yes Sir.'
'Well good, you need a rest.'
Sam glanced up at him to see him staring at her unguarded. The difference in their heights was more noticeable when she wasn't wearing her combat boots. Suddenly his size seemed to fill the small car more than she expected. The air was thick with tension.
She hadn't seen that look in years. Not since a room full of aliens and a foreign testing machine forced them to confront their feelings.
It had been hard to push her feelings aside for the General. But she had tried. It had been easier when she could pretend that he no longer felt the same way. They had pushed each other away after Daniel's death. It was a simple case of O'Neill not being there for her when she really needed him.
But it was what the both needed to do. Because they knew they couldn't guarantee the outcome if they had sought comfort from each other.
She had taken a while to lower her guard; the return of Daniel reminding her just how good they were as a team. The feelings began to seep back in. She had been so tempted to accept his numerous fishing invitations over the years.
And that's when she decided she could do it no more. A conversation with her own hallucination on board the Prometheus had made up her mind.
She couldn't spend her life waiting for someone she could never have. And she felt so hopeless about it; that night lying in the infirmary after they had brought her home. A sharp stab of feelings surfaced the moment she saw the General waiting at the end of her bed.
She mused that it was exactly the same this time, a few hours ago when she woke.
Her look and feelings completely out in the open.
'How's Pete?'
His question broke the silence and she stiffened. She cleared her throat. 'He's fine.'
She neglected the Sir. Their ranks were not relevant in this conversation. Thankfully it seemed the General had decided that was the extent of his feigned concern for her boyfriend and they fell into silence again.
The elevator stopped at the floor the General had selected. He moved toward the door, and stood there for a moment. He turned back toward her.
'Well, night Carter.'
She looked up and smiled. 'Night Sir.'
He looked like he was about to say something else but she opened her mouth first. 'Thanks for bringing me back, Sir.'
He smiled. 'Anytime Carter.'
With that he left the elevator and the doors slid shut. She sighed as the car continued upwards to the surface of the base.
She would never get over Jack O'Neill, of that much she was certain. Her dreams were plagued with him. She would wake content, the glow of forbidden embraces still alive in her mind. And then she would roll over and be faced with Pete; guilt would flood her.
Pushing herself out of the elevator, she marched her way out of the base and toward her car.
She mindlessly started the engine, and backed out of her space. The car hummed along nicely, and she was trying not to think how it was horribly domestic, driving home to her boyfriend after a day at work. She realised in that moment she could never have a standard nine-to-five job.
Jack O'Neill would always have a place in her life.
But she was willing to give her shot at her happy ending, even if she knew she was just settling with the wrong man.
Fin.