Hi again, folks! I know I should be working on my chapter-fic right now but I was (am) tired and as usual when I'm tired and unfocused, inspiration finds me - not the other way around! I tend to be at my best when it comes to writing if I try it out while I'm tired and should go to bed (this piece being the possible exception to that rule, I don't know :/ ).
However, I decided to give it a go and publish it anyway, because it doesn't really need to be great, if it's just entertaining someone for a moment I'll be happy with that... Pay attention to the rating - 'cause even though I tend to prefer putting higher ratings just to be safe, I'm pretty sure I'm actually right about my judgement this time - and to the fact that this is actually slash (I do hope most of you guys have started to realize that I'm shipping the RLSB-pairing because I like them to be more than just friends, but I guess I shouldn't take things for granted like that...)
Disclaimer: Really, I'm putting this up at fanfiction! How many do you reckon would have believed me if I claimed to be J.K. Rowling?
Enjoy!
Sweet dreams
"No, no..."
Sirius' eyes flashed open, and he realized what was happening in an instant, heaving a deep sigh as he sat up. Sleep forgotten, he rose from his bed to head for another one.
It had now been over a month after The Incident with Snivellus, and even though Remus had immediately said he forgave him as soon as he saw Sirius' despair, regret and tears in those grey, thundery and upset eyes, Sirius still saw the thinner boy's agony every night. He knew Remus was not over it yet; he was still upset about what could've happened if it weren't for James; still terrified that something would go wrong and make Moony a killer in the future.
Even though the lycanthrope had never been angry with Sirius for his mistake – Merlin knows why; Remus really was of a forgiving nature but even Sirius would probably not have forgiven himself that quick – he knew it had hurt him and that pain was still inflicted on him. The nightmares Remus kept having night after night, was proof of how badly damaged he was from it. It was proof of how badly Sirius had in fact hurt him, mentally.
And Sirius still hadn't forgiven himself for what he'd accidentally done, of a matter of fact.
"Hngh... no! Sirius!" the werewolf exclaimed in his sleep, as if calling for him even though the black-haired youth knew he was still dreaming.
He quietly sat down at Remus' bed and reached his hand out as carefully as ever, running it gently through the other boy's soft, bleached brown hair, over and over again in a soothing matter as he whispered "I'm sorry, Moons" repeatedly like a mantra. Soon enough, Moony's gasping breaths became more even, he stopped fidgeting in his sleep and quieted down.
Sirius knew he'd succeeded in his attempts at calming the scarred – both physically and mentally – boy down, but he also knew from experience that as soon as he would go back to his own bed, Remus would drift into another uneasy nightmare even faster. In fact, the boy in question already started whimpering softly again, yet Sirius didn't go through with the usual pattern of waking him up just yet. He looked at him first; forced himself to see and memorize just about how much paler than usual Remus was this time; forced himself to see how he still grimaced in distress even though the nightmare was over.
It wasn't easy; Sirius was tortured every time with the realization that he had done this to the innocent, kind-hearted friend of his. Nevertheless, he needed to do it. It was his punishment, as much as it was his reminder never to do anything as reckless and hurtful as that ever again.
When he decided it was enough and that he simply couldn't bear seeing the brunette like that anymore, he leaned down closer to Remus' face and whispered gently into his ear:
"Remus? Wake up, Rem."
As Remus' sleep obviously wasn't very deep at this point, the words broke through his barrier and he obeyed them as he abruptly opened his eyes a few couple of seconds later.
The first thing he laid his mesmerizing hazels on was Sirius' stormy orbs. The worry immediately disappeared from his expression and he visibly relaxed his tense muscles.
"Thanks", he breathed to his friend as soon as he found his voice again.
"No worries, Moony", Sirius whispered back. "How was it this time?" he then proceeded to ask in a slightly pleading voice.
They both knew his real question was: "Is it getting better?" And Remus always tended to avoid this question because he really didn't want worry his friend (and secret love) by telling him that no, it honestly isn't.
Remus shrugged. "Okay, I guess", he sighed softly. "It wasn't so bad this time."
The werewolf had become a rather good liar throughout the years in his condition. It was a necessity, really, that he learned in which voice to speak at what moment to be believed. But the sigh gave it away. It wasn't quite light enough, and Sirius saw through his act but didn't comment on it – like usual.
"Wanna talk about it?" he instead asked, like he always did and felt responsible to do.
Remus then talked, like he always did and felt responsible to do in order for them to be able to calm each other down, even if he rarely had particularly much to say.
"It wasn't much different from the past couple of weeks, really", he said in a low voice as to not awaken any of the other two sixteen-year-olds in the room. "I transform when something bad happens; I catch a human scent, hunt it down and rip it apart", he informed as calmly as possible.
"Was it me again?" Sirius asked to control if anything had changed; ever since Remus had started having these dreams the victim in it had gone from Snape to his mother, and then in the more recent ones, to him.
Sirius didn't know what to make of this; he didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing that the fleeing shapes in Remus' nightmares changed, or if it mattered at all. But he wanted to know if there had been any changes regardless, and what Remus thought of them. He always needed to know.
The brunette laying in front of him nodded in response to his question; yes it had been him again.
The two looked at each other for a while without speaking – another habit they had developed during these nights. Sirius looked concernedly at the heavily purple bags that were all the more evident under Remus' eyes as time passed, especially with having recently experienced another full moon.
"You should go back to sleep", Sirius stated, and then – as always – he added: "Scoot over."
Remus did as he was told without any objection these days; a while ago they had found that Sirius' presence made sleep more tolerable, and Sirius had insisted on sleeping with him (though not like that of course!) ever since. He would simply not do with any protests, and Remus had eventually started letting him without saying anything, partly because he suspected that this was one of very few things that would give Sirius some peace of mind, and partly because it simply made him feel so much better. Kind of ironic how he needed Sirius to make him feel safe, wasn't it?
As soon as the animagus had lain down beside the werewolf he gently wrapped his arms around the smaller boy protectively, as if nothing on earth could hurt Remus anymore. Stupidly enough Rem had gotten used to this as well; he closed his eyes automatically, escaping all his fears and lingering only in Sirius' comforting embrace. He heaved a sigh which contained nothing of the anguish from earlier.
Merlin, what ever would he do without Sirius?
x-x-x
"Sirius!"
Said boy's eyes fluttered open immediately upon hearing that very familiar voice uttering – or yelling, rather – his name.
That's weird, he thought as he swung his legs over the edge of his bed to get to his feet. It had been almost a week since last time he'd had to wake Remus from a nightmare. He'd actually started thinking – hoping – they were gone once and for all.
He was all the more confounded as he approached the bed in which the wolf slept. The yelps of his name and the heavy panting were nothing out of the ordinary, but still something was off. For the first time in… ever, Remus didn't look particularly pale at all. Now, what would this mean? Another unexpected change?
"Remus?" he asked tentatively.
"Sirius", was the reply in a whisper from the brunette, still asleep.
Oh, and there was another thing he noticed now: the sleeping boy did not grimace.
He sat down on the bed like he used to, and ran a hand through his friend's hair.
"Moony?" he tried, and was now rewarded with a short, muffled, incoherent sentence followed by a groan that made his heart race just by the sound of it.
Sweet Merlin. This was definitely something entirely different from Remus' usual nightmares. It even seemed like… but it couldn't be. This was innocent Remus Lupin here, he didn't… Did he? He was a teenage boy after all… Hm… What if…?
Sirius carefully leaned closer to the other boy, mouth right at the werewolf's sensitive ears as he opened it experimentally.
"Remus…" he breathed in a barely audible though to most people – and hopefully to this boy too – very inviting tone of voice.
"Mm…" the brunette replied through lips parted ever-so slightly. "Sirius!"
Sirius felt the corner of his lips twitch into a small, hopeful smile. Had he ever been granted such an opportunity before? He would be nothing but the world's biggest dimwit if he didn't take it. If he played his cards right, nothing was at risk.
"Wake up", he said in another low whisper but for once he didn't draw back after he'd said the words.
Thus, when Remus opened his eyes merely seconds later as expected, he found himself directly face to face with one dangerously attractive Sirius Black, and immediately drew backwards with such force he almost fell out of bed.
"Sirius!" he exclaimed widely awake, his voice now rather high-pitched and nothing at all like the way he had hissed his name barely half a minute earlier.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, Rem", he said truthfully and very properly calmly, not at all getting turned on when meeting the slender boy's eyes and widely dilated pupils, thankyouverymuch.
"It's… i-it's fine", Remus gulped, hoping for the love of Merlin that his cover was thick enough to hide the, ah, side-effect of his rather pleasant dream that he so rapidly noticed as soon as he was awake, though obviously he did not dare to look for himself – what if it wasn't, and he'd accidentally attract Sirius' attention downwards…!
"How are you feeling?" Sirius asked in what he hoped to be a neutral voice.
"Fine, I'm fine, never been better", Remus hurriedly assured and was about to continue but didn't get around doing so because of the sceptical voice of the dog animagus.
"Are you sure?" he asked with an arched eyebrow. "'Cause you seem a little… tense."
Hah, no kidding, Padfoot! "I'm sure", the brunette insisted. "You should go ba-"
"Because you were yelling for me, so I assumed you were having another dream", Sirius explained.
Remus' eyes widened before he got around concealing it. Oh dear, he had been yelling? He gulped again as he realized Sirius was waiting for a response of some kind.
"Well, I uh… I kinda had", he said hesitantly, telling himself how he wasn't lying as they were both talking about dreams, not necessarily nightmares.
"Wanna talk about it?" Sirius asked, and managed to sound natural as this was merely an innocent routine-question.
"No." He had almost answered too fast, both of them thought, as the black-haired teen had barely finished his question before he got the reply.
Sirius slowly raised an eyebrow at his fellow Marauder again, annoyingly inquisitively. Remus had to bite his lip to prevent a low growl from ripping through his throat. He was definitely much under Moony's influence right now, rather out of control, and he did not like it one bit!
"You don't?" Sirius said, feeling all the more confident of himself and pretending not to notice how Remus' breaths had started deepening evidently. "Why not?" he asked with innocent puppy-dog eyes.
"Well, there's not… much to talk about." Not much that wouldn't freak you out, my dear Padfoot. "I just… We should probably go back to sleep, both of us." Merlin, he needed Sirius to disappear right now, or else the stupid Adonis might get scarred for life.
"Okay, move over then", Black continued their usual rituals, barely able to suppress a mischievous smile as he could now predict Remus' reaction.
Of course the wolf's hazel eyes went wide again and he could practically feel his face heating up violently. No, no, no, for Merlin's sake, no! His problem seemed to get bigger by the minute… quite literally.
"… N-not quite necessary, Pads", he stuttered before getting a grip of himself. "I assure you I'll be perfectly fine by myself tonight." Go, go! For the love of God, hurry to get down in your own bed, otherwise you might not get away from here at all!
"Are you quite sure about that, Moonshine?" he asked with a teasingly innocent expression.
Remus inhaled deeply before he was able to form a verbal response. "Yes", he said through gritted teeth. "Yes, I am."
"Oh, but dearest Moony, you can't possib-"
That's it. Angelic patience run-out.
"Sirius Black, I will have to kindly ask you to get your ass out of my bed right this instant!" Remus yelled, quite exasperated with everything right now… and honestly, who blames him?
Right then, Sirius did what could probably count as the most stupid thing possible in that situation.
He laughed. He laughed, when the werewolf he was with had so obviously run completely out of self-control and restraint in that very moment.
"The thing is, Moons…" Sirius started to explain himself as said werewolf had flung up and grabbed him by the shoulders – to kick him out or jump his throat… who knows? – "… that it doesn't really seem like you want my ass to be elsewhere right now." His eyes flickered momentarily down to the obvious, now fully uncovered tent in a certain brunette's pyjamas, and as he lifted his gaze again the hungry eyes of the lycanthrope had clearly met their match. "And as much as I would love to please you…" he continued in a husky and rather indicative tone of voice, "… I do believe there are better ways of doing that."
And with those words and clad in a naughty smile, Sirius leaned forward and captured the other boy's lips so fiercely that it brought Remus off balance. His back hit the bed again and forced them apart as Sirius was leaning a couple of inches above him, eyes wide with anticipation. Remus stared at him in chock for about two seconds. He had in no way allowed himself of ever getting his hopes up with the apparently-not-so-straight other boy, but now…
Then the two seconds had passed and Remus reached his head up, giving Sirius the signal that it was green and all clear to go. Breaths were mixed, lips were crashed together again, tongues were fighting for dominance, teeth sunk into flesh and loud moans were heard as fingers grasped hair or tugged at the fabric of clothing that kept skin from meeting skin. It was so very needy; nowhere near the sweet embraces they had previously shared, and couldn't at all be compared with the gentleness Remus had been imagining this to involve.
That was not to say it wasn't good though; excitement was sky-high for the both of them and this was reality. How could it be anything but good?
The next moments perhaps should've been a blur, but Remus both sensed, saw, heard and felt it all happen very clearly as Sirius' lips drifted south and savoured the taste of him, not stopping until he was down by the other teen's hips. The black-haired boy quickly removed what little piece of clothing was left on the wolf, which made Remus' heart race like never before.
"S-sirius!" he gasped, but soon found he had completely lost the ability of speaking as Sirius teased his head with his marvellous tongue before he took him in completely and proceeded to drive him over the edge rather quickly.
He yelped out his love's name as he came, and panting and overwhelmed with sensation as he was, Remus would want nothing more than to just stay were he was and let Sirius hold him, but he knew that wouldn't be fair and that the other boy definitely wouldn't be patient enough to be still in a moment like this if he didn't return the favour. Swept in this logic he was greatly surprised when Sirius reached up for him and cupped his cheek only to give him the tenderest kiss ever, allowing him to taste himself as their tongues met.
"Sorry if that went a bit fast for you", Sirius mumbled as soon as he'd let go of the other's lips.
"'Twas great", Remus managed to say, still quite out of breath. "D'you want me to do the same for you?"
"Won't need to, love", Sirius said as he shook his head, "I've already finished", he informed, laughing the embarrassment away like he usually did, but he really could've just said that one precious little four-lettered word as that was the only thing Remus fully detected – and it had him in Heaven.
They both smiled quite goofily – correction: extremely charmingly – at each other, and as Sirius laid down beside him, Remus really couldn't understand how he'd ever have been so incredibly lucky. That was when the thought hit him.
"Good gracious, I didn't put up any silencing charm, did you?" he asked rather sheepishly.
"I wouldn't worry about it", Sirius said with yet another smile. "Since we haven't been interrupted yet, I trust Peter's snoring outdid the sounds we made."
"Fair point", Remus laughed softly, though his laughter magically turned into a yawn and he closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Pads", he sighed.
"'Night… And Moony…?"
"Mm…?"
"Sweet dreams", he said with a tricky smile.
"Oh, shut up you!" Remus half-growled behind his laughter.
Wow. I usually don't go as far as to start balancing on the smutty line, (guess I haven't tried writing when I'm this tired before) but hey, it worked out pretty... uh, pretty... oh, I'll just go with pretty until you review me and tell me what you think for yourselves! :)
