Disclaimer: Don't own.
"Iruka?"
"Hmm? What is it Kakashi?"
"Can I ask you for a favor?"
"…I'm afraid to ask…but what?"
"Hmm? Do you have your mind in the gutter, Sensei?"
"Sh-shut up! What do you want?!"
"I'm only teasing Iruka. Do you mind helping me sharpen these kunai?"
"Oh…sure."
"Thank You Ruru."
"Sure. Are…are you going to need these soon?"
"Yeah…I have a mission tomorrow."
"Oh."
"…I'm sorry, I should have told you earlier."
"No, it's alright."
"…here, you can start with these."
"Alright."
I really should have told him, instead of being a selfish bastard and avoid seeing that look in his eyes…, "…"
"What rank is it?"
"Oh, A-Class…"
"Oh."
Damn, he must be upset that I didn't tell him. Damnit, Kakashi! You're supposed to be a genius"…"
"How…how long will it be?"
"About three weeks, give or take."
"Oh."
Damn…damn damn damn
"ouch!"
"Iruka?"
"Ah, sorry, I nicked myself, haha."
"Let me see -"
"No it's alright, I'll go run it under some water, I'll be right back."
"Iruka –" …damnit
DamnitI got caught up in my thoughts – ow – damn idiot.
"Iruka are you alright?"
"Huh? – Oh, yeah, I'm fine, it's just a nick – "
"That's not what I meant…"
"…Then what did you mean?"
"Iruka…I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier – "
"Don't worry about it, you have your reasons."
"I do."
Why did that hurt? "…Alright."
"And that would be that I don't like the look your eyes when I tell you."
"…what?"
"The look in your eyes."
"What about –"
"It kills me, Iruka."
"Kakashi? – "
"When I tell you that I have a mission, you give me that saddest smile, Iruka, I can't even bear it…and even though…you wear a smile, I can see it in your eyes, that you don't want me to go, that it hurts you to watch me leave…but, that you understand that it's not up to you, that you can't do anything about it. It hurts to see you like that…like this Iruka."
"Kakashi…I…" what do I say to that? "I…" No, Iruka! Not now – not now!, "Kakashi…I'll admit that, yes, it's difficult…to see you go on high rank missions, but it's your duty, our duty, and…" not now – don't cry in front of him – "…I understand. So, I wait, Kakashi, wait for you to come home…because I know that you will come home. You h-have to come home…because if you don't…" don't, Iruka – damnit! Don't!
"Iruka…"
"…I'm sorry, we should sharpen those – "
Kakashi pulled him into a tight embrace, as if holding him for dear life. He buried his face into the crock of the chunin's neck while his hold only became tighter. The embrace was too much for Iruka, he felt tears burn his eyes and make his vision blurry, he returned the embrace as tight as his lover, if not tighter. He shut his eyes and let his silent tears roll down his cheeks as he buried his face into Kakashi's neck.
"Iruka…," Kakashi whispered against the chunin's neck, "Iruka…"
"I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kakashi," Iruka tried to keep his voice steady.
"Don't be, Iruka."
"Kakashi…" He didn't know what to say. He told himself to never, never, let Kakashi see how much it hurt him to watch him leave on a mission; that watching him leave, could be his last. Could be the last time he kissed him. Touched him. Held him, but he would always, always, love him, and he would never give it – him – up for anything. He felt Kakashi pull away and gently wipe away the stray tears on his cheeks.
"Don't cry, Ruru. Please don't cry," he kissed each of Iruka's closed eyes, and kissed him tenderly, "Please, don't cry."
Iruka buried his face against the jounin's neck, "I'm sorry…" he whispered against skin, "Please…just stay like this…for a while longer…"
Kakashi held him closer, "Of course, Ruru."
The two lovers stayed in the kitchen holding each other, one trying to be stronger for the other; however it is uncertain which. The kunai were forgotten in the living room.