Disclaimer: Don't own.
Iruka woke up. However, he didn't know why. He lay still, listening. He could hear Kakashi's breathing – it was ragged. He slowly turned, careful not to stir the jounin, and leaned back to look at him. His face was as if he was concentrating in his sleep, his eyebrows knitted together, wrinkling his sweaty forehead.
Nightmare, Iruka thought to himself, looking at his lover with concern, he slowly turn fully to his side to face the older man. Kakashi's limp hand twitched in his sleep. Iruka has handled Kakashi's nightmares before. Sometimes they were very bad, other times they only lasted a few minutes until his mind changed setting, letting him relax. Even though, it was worrying. He didn't like seeing his lover having a restless night due to nightmares.
Iruka gingerly placed his palm against Kakashi's cheek. He flinched in response, as if trying to get away for the touch.
It's bad…; he removed his hand and instead threaded his fingers softly through the silver locks. He flinched again, and his limp hand twitched. Iruka tried to relax man, usually combing his fingers through his hair did the trick. Sometimes. When it didn't, he had to gently shake the man awake. A dangerous feat, one that Kakashi told him not to do. Usually Kakashi would snap awake, or push at Iruka on instinct. Iruka gently placed his hand in the bare shoulder and slowly shook the older man.
"'Kashi…," he whispered softly, "'Kashi –," His world was flipped suddenly being pinned against the bed, the sheets nearly tossed off. Kakashi was hovering over him, one hand firmly gripping the younger man's bare shoulder, the other, firmly on Iruka's throat. His ruby eye glowed and spinned wildly in the dim moonlight that lit through the closed curtains. Iruka whimpered as the grip p his throat tightened. He didn't struggle, he patiently waited for Kakashi's mind to register that he was no longer sleeping, and that Iruka wasn't an enemy. He looked into the mismatched eyes, locking their gaze. He saw the gears turn in his mind, and lock as he quickly took his hands off of Iruka, shock and horror in his eyes. Iruka coughed a bit as his air passage reopened.
"Iruka! I'm so sorry!" Kakashi's voice told Iruka that he was panicking.
"It's alright, Kakashi, you were having a nightmare…" Iruka sat up, becoming eye level with the jounin. Mismatched eyes looked away from Iruka, and fixed his gaze on the pillow he was sleeping on.
"I told you…" Kakashi hesitated as his voice wavered, "Not to wake me if I'm having a nightmare…"
Iruka didn't have to be told, he already knew. He knew better than to wake a jounin – or any ninja – from a nightmare, their instincts take over and they become defensive during the process of completely waking. One of the reasons they keep kunai away from the bed. Iruka also knew that he couldn't stand watching his lover suffer through a nightmare, in this case, a very bad and difficult one.
"I'm sorry, Kakashi…" Iruka wanted to say more, but thought better of it. Knowing that the pale jounin was exhausted, now physically and mentally.
"Did I hurt you?" Kakashi asked softly, still keeping his gaze on the pillow.
"No," he saw the ruby eye flicker, "I'm alright Kakashi, really," Sure, it felt as if the jounin was still holding on to his throat, but he wasn't going to tell him that.
"Are you sure?" he whispered.
Iruka tentatively reached his hand out to touch the pale cheek, for Kakashi to look at him, but the pale jounin flinched at the touch instead, making the younger man withdraw his hand. He saw the jounin clench his jaw and drop his gaze to the sheets guiltily.
"Kakashi," Iruka spoke softly in an attempt to relax the older man, but it seemed that it made his tense further, "are you alright?" The ruby eye, the only one that visible to Iruka, flickered, as if looking at him, before Kakashi closed his eyes and sighed.
"I…don't think it's a good idea for me to stay the night after missions," he spoke softly, as if he didn't want the words to leave his lips; he opened his eyes to continue his gaze on the sheets, "at least…not after rough missions…" He had to admit, he liked, if not, loved coming home to Iruka after missions. Even if he was at the point of passing out from sheer exhaustion, the warm smile Iruka would give him, would make his forget just how tired he was. Even if he was filthy, to the point where his hair was changing to a muddy hue, the warm embrace Iruka gave him, despite his state, would make him forget why he was so filthy. If coming from those missions, those that involved coming back home covered in someone else's blood, or his own, kept him on edge and made him to paranoid to sleep, as to where there was a risk of hurting Iruka…it might just not be worth it. I don't want to hurt him…in any way.
He felt gentle fingers brush his cheek that was turned away from the younger man. He involuntarily flinched at the touch again. He just wasn't stable right now. Even though, the hand didn't retreat this time. The warm hand softly cupped the pale cheek, and Kakashi found himself lean into the touch. He felt the hand gently turn his head; he opened his eyes, keeping his eyes on his lap. He fixed his gaze on his limp hand that was resting on his thigh. He felt Iruka move closer, placing his free hand on top of Kakashi's. The older man looked, in the dim light, the contrast of their skin. His skin seemed much paler in the in the dim light, but Iruka's seemed to glow, giving the contrast a different, deeper, meaning; Iruka was filled with light and life that seemed to radiate from him, while Kakashi...Kakashi sighed and felt his hand tense under Iruka's as he held it tighter, but gently.
"Kakashi," Iruka spoke softly, "Look at me…" it was a quiet plea. Iruka has no idea what the older man was dreaming so heavily of, but it seemed to have him on edge, distant, "'Kashi…," he used the beloved pet name, hoping that the older man would willingly look at him. He brushed his thumb under the seemingly pale blue eye.
Kakashi slowly raised his gaze to chocolate eyes, he found a soft, loving look and his heart skipped a beat. Iruka, however, found masked sadness and guilt, he a clench in his chest, It's not your fault, it was a nightmare…, "'Kashi, please don't feel that you shouldn't or can't stay the night," a soft small smile grew on his lips, "Please, let me be here for you, let me take care of you," he leaned in and planted a kiss on this cheek and felt the man relax.
"Iruka…I…," he hesitated, Iruka pulled away to look into the mismatched eyes, "I don't want to hurt you, Iruka…," he saw Iruka shake his head slowly.
"No, 'Kashi. You won't, I know you won't, not intentionally," he brushed loose silver strands away from the pale forehead, "and I'm not made out of glass."
"Iruka –," he felt gentle soft lips on his, giving him a chaste kiss.
"Please, 'Kashi, let me be here for you," Iruka wrapped his arms around the older man's bare chest, and rested his forehead in his pale shoulder, "I want to be here when you need me…" he felt the older man return his embrace, and pull him closer. The jounin relaxed further, and leaned his head against Iruka's.
"Thank you…" Kakashi whispered against Iruka's hair, "Thank you for putting up with me."
"No, Kakashi," he felt Iruka shake his head against his shoulder, or was he nuzzling it? "I don't put up with you," he whispered against his clavicle, he pulled away and smiled lovingly, "I love you."
Kakashi felt his heart rise and pulled the blushing chunin into a passionate kiss, filled with emotion and gratitude that he just couldn't express in words, he broke the kiss when the need for air was too strong, and brushed his lips against the chunin's, "Iruka,…my Iruka…I love you," He nuzzled the crock his neck, "I love you, Iruka…" he held the younger man tighter, "Love you so much…" Iruka held on to him possessively, and buried his face in the pale neck, and moaned when he felt Kakashi lightly bit him and suck on the bruise. He was pushed back on the bed. Kakashi proceeded to show Iruka how much he loved him, how much he was grateful for him, how much he meant to him. The touches and movements were tender and soft; it was neither rough nor hard. It was passionate, and expressed everything that words couldn't.
There were no more nightmares that night.
