Friend.
A/N: I'm sorry for the last few stories I posted up here, I got desperate and decide to have some fun with my brain due to my writer's block, so this is the same excuse, yeah…. I'm not an American or member of any country that speaks English in their mother's tough, I'm the only Vietnamese here, so please be nice, pretty please?.
I own nothing; I don't know why I have to do this.
Haunted
A word, so simple yet so complicated, for those who see this word simple, they are not a Jedi anyway, or even an Ex- Padawan.
Why they want to hunt down the not Jedi anyway, is simple, they wanted to take the root and the future of the next Jedi Order, they wanted the Jedi to extinct, not to walk the earth and bother the great Empire anymore.
But yet, there are always survivors, who always wanted fight back, to fight for their freedom, to turn the haunter into the haunted, but yet, none have succeeded, with little rebellion crushed in matters of day, some even lasted for months, but then again, rebellion are formed upon pains and unfairness caused by the Empire, so as long as the Empire still exist, there will still be Rebellion, even if they know they would be kill, be torture.
Yet Ahsoka was once in a rebellion like that, working with civilians who wanted nothing but revenge, that's goes against everything that the order's that taught her, taught her to be a Jedi, and it the same order that made her doubt, doubt about everything that the Jedi had ever done.
They taught her there is no passion, there is no ignorance, there is no chaos, and there is no death, only peace, knowledge, serenity.
And there is only the force.
The only line in the Jedi code that she couldn't understand, what does it mean anyway, there is no death, there is the force, she heard one of the masters explained to her once, now she can't remember it because surround, there is always death, death of the people trying to protect her, to hide her, to raise a hopeless rebellion against the Emperor, but yet there is only death, there is no force.
And those teaching are for the Jedi, but she is not even a Jedi anymore, only a midst, a shadow, a whisper about a warrior who wield a green light, a light of hope and of life, but there is no life, there is only hope.
And only the death haunted her, haunted her mind and her dreams, and haunted by the Empire, day to day.
By day, she walks the earth alone, letting the people passing her by and she safely conceal her face under her hood, hearing whispers in the wind, heaviness in air as stormtroopers passed by, and she can only hide herself under the heavy hood, she is hope for her rebellion, yet she can't give hope for these people who lives under the suppression, sometime she just wanted to give up hope, to give up everything and finally live in peace, to be lifted from this burden of being the wielder of the light.
But who going to take her place, not everyone in the rebellion have her power, her skill are needed, but sometime she feel hopeless, hope are reasons why people fight, for hope of better life, of a better day, to be free.
The darkest night gave way to the longer days
Yet there is still no day in sight, only suppression and pains escalated.
By night, she haunted by the nightmares, not a nightmares of a little girl the first time she's in the temple, innocent nightmares like there is a monster in the closet or the grownups Jedi are scary or the lightsaber came to life to bite you, no, this far different, only the smell of death, grey landscape met her, haunt her even in her dream, those lifeless eyes of her fallen comrades, everything crumble in her feet, loud scream of pains in the distance, and there is him.
Her master, her once master, who always joyful and sometime cocky, now it just a mask made up his face with heavy breathing, everything in him is darkness, not the ''Skyguy'' she once know anymore, as he raised his lightsaber, she awoke in her sleep, meet with only the loud silence of the night, of her apartment, the only sound is her breathing hard, there is no night she can sleep in peace.
Why just she can die on Mortis?, to be lifted from the suffering she is in, the Daughter saved her, and give her life, her life, die seem easy, to lifted from the pain, the suffering, from everything.
But there is no death, there is the force why does that keep repeating in her mind is nonsense, there are always deaths, yet there is no force.
She needed a reason to continue to live on, but those past reason seem blinded, to give people hopeless, to guild her comrades into death, there is always death, yet it seem that it didn't find her yet.
Not yet, not now, maybe soon, but not now, but she seem to give up all hopes.
Why?.
She been haunted every single day, even they never succeeded in catching, her mind haunted her at night, why does she have to do this anymore, she can rest, she can hide like Master Yoda and Master Kenobi, no she choose the hard way, to throw her life away for the people she don't even know their names, to suffer for them, to bring them hopeless, why?, why? Does this happen to her, why just she can rest in peace.
Because she will always be haunted, by everything, even if she rest, the past will come back to haunt her, the betrayal, and the trust the council gave her.
Even the memories of her friends will always came back to haunt her, her master, the 501st, even Barriss Offee, the woman who betray her with cold shoulder, she doesn't care if Ahsoka being executed, she could just walks way like nothing ever happened, but the truth come out in the last minute, her friend betray her, to let the council know about their own action dragging them into the pit of darkness, but in the progress dragging her down into it, but then again, Ahsoka thought that Barriss did save her life, if she didn't confess, Ahsoka would have never doubt about the council, and never leave the order in the first place.
And Ahsoka would die in the first purge, how ironic, that someone who betrayed you ended up saving you in an odd way, but that betrayal shattered their friendship, and shaking the faith Ahsoka have in people around her.
No one can be trusted fully, even if they are your best friend.
Sometime she even wonder that if Barriss still alive and all, and one day, her answer right in front of her, of a dark woman, holding her hand up in the air, her hand formed an invisible grip on the man's neck, and even if the man beg, she twisted her hand, and he felt to ground.
Everything in this woman still screaming Barriss Offee, but something in her changed, changed in a bad way, she is not her friend anymore, not since she betrayed Ahsoka, but this is far more.
When you look into her eyes, there is no indigo blue sky anymore; instead only sickly yellow eyes, it stares through your soul, there is no Barriss Offee anymore, only a ruthless Inquisitor, who called themselves ''truth officer''
There is no truth, no justifies in their actions, there is no passion, there is no mercy, only terror spreading in their path, and Barriss became one of them, only anger and hatred fuelled her now, killing civilians to extract information, Ahsoka resisted the urge to pull her lightsaber, there is too many, not even counting the Stormtroopers, the odd will not stand with her.
That's not the Barriss Offee she knew anymore, only a slave to the dark side they both once fight against.
And then again, fate seem to link them together, as they dance, dance the dance of lightning of Red and Green, a dance of death, not a dance of friendship, or sparring anymore, only the point of killing one another, as it strong in Barriss's mind, yet fighthing your friend, your best friend, who they have many memories together only to let Barriss end it all up in pains and saving Ahsoka's life in an unexpected way, and now Barriss wanted to take it, to exterminate this ''Jedi'' for the survival of her Empire.
Sometime Barriss wished Ahsoka killed her in that medical transport, instead of saving her miserable life, and Barriss is taking it away, but dancing with Ahsoka one last dance, a dance of death.
And adding to it, the planet itself decide to turn against them, as the rain poor on them with no mercy, Ahsoka fighting to distract Barriss from stopping her comrades from blowing up the base, and she is doing good so far and Barriss seem to play along with it.
And she seem to winning, and if Barriss run her through with her lightsaber, then fine, but she wanted to know why she changed, she know the reason why Barriss betrayed the order, but not turned into this, not the Sith she is fighting with.
''Why are you doing this, what happened to you, why?'' Ahsoka shouted in the air, hoping that Barriss would listen.
Their sabers clash again and again, even hiding the lightning sound in the background, with determination in their eyes, this end here, once and for all.
''You were my friend Barriss, we trusted each other, why do have to do this, to be a slave to Vader?''
''Shut up!''
''I loved you Barriss, like my sister, now look what have you become, you are nothing but a slave!''
In that moment, something snapped inside Barriss Offee, something shine in her dark mind, but again it got swallow by the dark side, but she, don't even notice a tear streaking down her cheek, no one notice it, and it blended with the rain, like it blended with the lights dancing in the night, blended with her dark side.
''I said shut up!''
Suddenly a loud noise below their feet, as they felt the platform they're standing begin to shake violently, as they lose their footing by the descending of the platform and combine with the slippery of the heavy rain, with one hand, Ahsoka held on, and one hand holding her enemy.
And in every moment they hanging on, Barriss let that spot of light invade her mind, let the Ahsoka' warmth of holding her hand disrupt the dark thoughts, but it still fight back, the dark had already eaten to deep in her mind, and yet Ahsoka still saved her from falling into her death as Barriss held on tight to Ahsoka's hand.
She watched Ahsoka struggle to keep both of them hanging here, not to fall down in the depth below, but if they keep continue to do this, they will both die.
''Let go!''
''I Can't, I don't want to lose you anymore''
In that moment, that very moment, Ahsoka blue met with the eyes of the woman she once called friend, not a sickly yellow eyes anymore, but a deep blue eyes with tears and full of memories, as they stared into each other, Ahsoka cannot held on any longer.
And the light inside the Inquisitor's mind begin to overcome the darkness, as she cling into the bright thoughts, of memories they shared, of everything they been through, and for all Barriss had done, Ahsoka still want to save her, to save a broken soul with darkness held on to her body, look back what she have done, killing innocent people, let her anger take control over her mind, and Ahsoka thought she could made you go back, go back from the pit of darkness, have you look at yourself in the mirror lately?, you are not that Barriss Offee anymore, you are not that healer who once breath in the pain of others anymore, that soul is not your anymore, you are a monster, a abomination who bring pains to others, what have you become?.
You become your own fear, your cause of fighting for the Jedi and bombed the Jedi Temple, you become the things you fight against, a Slave of darkness, a monster, of everything you fought against for, now look at you, did you deserve Ahsoka's kindness, no, you are too far gone.
Do you deserve to live…..anymore?.
All she can do, was suffer from her own ghosts, ghosts of the past, the present, but she doubt there will be a ghost of future for her as she watched Ahsoka suffer from the weight of two people on a falling platform into the pit of inferno below them.
A tear streak down her green cheek, on what all she done, there still someone who once love her, who was always been her sister, her trusty partner, and she betrayed her own sister just for her plot against the Jedi, and if so she can even let Ahsoka to die, what have you done?
And she is trying to save your sorry miserable life.
In this life maybe she made mistakes, mistakes that can't be forgive, she made pains instead of healing, she made others suffer instead of comfort and she betrayed her own war sister, why have she done this, done this all to be hanging here, thinking about her life, her life of once a Jedi, then turn into a Sith who called herself '' Justice''.
Maybe in another life, she would made another choice
Maybe in another life, she would redeem herself
Maybe in another life, she would never betrayed Ahsoka Tano
But in this life, it was too late for her.
But Ahsoka don't want to lose her, but Barriss Offee knows that she already lose herself.
''I'm Sorry…..'' Like a whisper to the wind, to let the rain hid her tears, but she can't hide before her friend, with her own tears, she hang on tighter.
''No…Please, I…..I….can…hold on''
''Is…..too late…for me….I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything'' And her blue indigo eyes was swallowed with tears, with tears that now is too late, too late to change, to fix anything, she finally let it go, let it all go.
Ahsoka felt a hand sliped through her palm, and watch as Barriss fall into the pit of flame.
She let the wind took her, and let the gravity do the rest, she finally feel free, she don't know if Ahsoka would ever forgive her, to forgive a Sith, she let herself fall into her death for her friend to live, to gave her life by using her own, maybe she would die Sith's hell, but if so, she is willing to die like that, for her friend to live on.
She felt warmth, not from the flame, but by love, a love forgotten in the wind and fog of betrayal, at least there is someone who would cry for her if she died, if she truly becomes one with the force.
Her master would be proud.
''No….''
Up until now, Ahsoka still remember, Barriss sacrificed herself for her, replay that scene over and over again, that blue eyes caught her memory the most, no more sickly yellow eyes but that blue indigo eyes of once a shy girl who always hide herself under her hood but open enough for Ahsoka whenever they have time to talk, even sometime meditate, every memories involved that eyes, of honesty and friendship, but now the past is in the past, and memories become blur by times, but some are scared in her mind forever and always, a memory about her friend, her friend until the end.
Barriss Offee.
Maybe now she understand why ''There is no death, There is the Force''.
Death is a part of the cycle of life, without it, there is no life, and she can feel the force flowing around her in a peaceful aurora, death is not a tragedy, Ahsoka Tano would celebrate her best friend death and also celebrate her own life that Barriss gave her, now she have a reason to live on, to fight this war.
She would embrace Barriss's death, accept it with memories and mourn her with all her tears, as she continues to fight on until she can't any longer.
And maybe there is hope for herself, after all.
Her friend memories haunted her every night, replacing the burden of nightmares.
And with acceptance, Ahsoka forgive her, as Barriss will always have a place in her heart.