"Tappy," eight year old Dark Pit "Kuro" Sanchez panted. "We need to talk."
Seven year old Dark Patrisha "Tamantha" Avalon-Henderson turned to face him, eating a bag of Marshmallows.
"What's up?" she asked.
"I found out something big…" he answered.
"Huh?" Dark Patrisha asked.
Dark Pit wiped the sweat from his brow before continuing.
"Well, Luna and I were watching TV with Viridi…" he explained. "And we saw one of those sappy girly movies…"
"Uh-huh…" Dark Patrisha replied.
"In that movie…" Dark Pit continued.
-POINTLESS SCENE TRANSITION-
(Flashback)
"They sure do kiss a lot," Twelve year old Luna Sanchez said. "It's so dumb."
"Yeah," Dark Pit agreed. "What's so fun about touching someone with your lips? I prefer someone who goes on adventures."
"Kuro, Luna," Viridi chuckled. "You're still children. You'll understand when you're older."
"Huh?" Luna asked.
"Oh, I know," Viridi said. "I'll tell you both something good."
"Oh, goodie," Dark Pit said, sarcastic.
"You have to marry the Smashtopican you have your first kiss with," Viridi lied.
Dark Pit gave her a look of shock.
"THAT'S why it's important to kiss the one who matters most?" Luna asked.
Viridi nodded.
"Eh?" Dark Pit asked. "For real?"
"Yep~" Viridi nodded. "There's even a law about it."
"No way…" Luna said. "If I'm careless and kiss someone I don't like, then I'm in trouble."
"Wait… that means…" Dark Pit said. "If Tappy kisses someone else, she has to marry him… What if it's an evil Smashtopican?! That would be a disaster! I'm going to see Tap! I'll be home before dinner!"
-POINTLESS SCENE TRANSITION-
(End of Flashback)
"And that's what I wanted to say," Dark Pit said.
"Marriage?" Dark Patrisha asked, confused.
Dark Pit nodded.
"It's a vow to always be with someone," he explained.
"Oh," Dark Patrisha replied. "Werewolves don't dae that, but if it's to yeh, Kuro, I think Mum would make an exception. And I wouldn't mind being with yeh forever."
Dark Pit nodded in agreement.
"Same here, Tappy," Dark Pit said. "I don't want anyone else. As long as you're by my side, I'll protect you no matter what."
Dark Pit grabbed Dark Patrisha by her cheeks and held her face in his hands.
"Let's kiss, Tappy!" Dark Pit suggested.
"Huh?" Dark Patrisha gasped. "Kay."
Dark Pit leaned in and kissed Dark Patrisha on the lips. Dark Patrisha squeaked at the surprise-contact, but kissed back. Dark Pit pulled away and wiped his lips off.
"You…" he said. "Your mouth is sticky all over… it's sweet…"
"Well, I was eating marshmallows," Dark Patrisha said, holding out the bag. "Want some? They're so smashing…"
"No thanks…" Dark Pit replied. "Anyways… You get it, right? You were my first kiss, Tappy. And I was yours. That means we have to promise to always be together."
"Okay," Dark Patrisha smiled.
"Sure you won't forget?" Dark Pit asked.
"I promise, K," she giggled.
The first kiss had a marshmallow flavor. Dark Pit repeatedly pecked Dark Patrisha on the lips.
Tappy kinda looks like a marshmallow… he thought.
"Hm?" Dark Patrisha asked, smiling. "Kuro? What are yeh doing?"
-POINTLESS SCENE TRANSITION-
(Many Centuries Later)
It hurts… Dark Patrisha thought. I can't breathe.
"Cousin Tap!" Fifteen year old Kyle Bojorquez called. "Hang in there!"
I feel summat soft… she thought. Soft and warm…
Dark Patrisha opened her eyes and saw Dark Pit hovering over her.
"Tappy!" he said.
Dark Patrisha panicked at the closeness.
"Ahhh!" she squealed, shoving him away. "Get orf me, yeh sodding git!"
"Why you…" Dark Pit threatened.
"What were yeh…" Dark Patrisha snapped. "…Gah."
She coughed and threw up on the sand of The Midnight Beach. Dark Pit and Kyle worried about this and Kyle sat close to her to comfort her. Dark Pit, however, moved farther away, but not too far so that he would get reprimanded by Kyle.
"Cousin Tap!" Kyle wailed, running over. "You seem to have swallowed a LOT of ocean water. How are you feeling?"
"Huh?" Dark Patrisha replied. "I… how did I…"
Dark Pit scoffed and Kyle scratched Dark Patrisha behind her ear.
"You fell into the water and almost drowned!" Kyle explained. "You don't remember?"
Dark Patrisha shook her head.
"The bridge collapsed," Kyle said.
Dark Patrisha gave it some thought as the memories came flooding back to her.
I was drowning? she thought. Ah…
"Aye," Dark Patrisha answered. "Now I remember…"
Dark Pit ran his hands through his hair and Kyle smiled.
"You're lucky Kuro saved you!" Kyle said.
"Yeh're right!" Dark Patrisha agreed. "Thanks, K…"
Kyle interrupted her.
"¡Gracias a dios!" he said. "When he pulled you out, you weren't breathing, so Kuro gave you mouth-to-mouth! Who knows what would've happened if he hadn't."
"Eh?" Dark Patrisha asked, eyes widening. "Mouth-to-mouth?!"
She turned to look at with shock and horror.
"…Yeh did that?" she asked. "Mouth-to-mouth?!"
Dark Pit glared at her, annoyed and angry.
"What was I supposed to do, huh?" Dark Pit snapped.
"My first snog…" Dark Patrisha whimpered, horrified.
Dark Pit gave her a look.
"You almost died!" he snapped. "How could you bring that up now?! It was a case of emergency. The situation called for it, so there was no other option. Maybe I should've let you drowned, bimbo!"
Dark Patrisha gave Dark Pit a look.
"Tch…" she replied. "Well, yeh hae a point there. It doesn't count because of the situation. I'm safe! Ah~ This is sterling ~ I would've been totally bummed out if this had been my actual first snog!"
Dark Pit became angry.
"Even so," he said. "The fact is we did press our lips together."
"Huh?" Dark Patrisha replied, confused. "Kuro…"
"You can't say it wasn't a kiss," Dark Pit answered, turning away.
Kyle smiled and Dark Patrisha looked shocked and appalled.
"Huh?!" Dark Patrisha gasped. "Hold on! Just now, yeh said it was because of the circumstances!"
She ran over to Dark Pit and jumped on his back.
"Stop saying it was a snog!" Dark Patrisha snapped. "I mean, wouldn't yeh hate it if yeh had yer first snog with me?!"
"It wasn't my first," Dark Pit replied.
"Huh?!" Dark Patrisha replied. "No way… with who? And when… did yeh…"
Dark Pit realized that his fears came true.
"You REALLY don't remember?" he asked.
"What?!" Dark Patrisha snapped. "What are yeh yakking about?! C'mon! Answer me!"
"I have no obligation to tell you…" Dark Pit said. "Sorry that your first kiss was me…"
Dark Patrisha looked at Dark Pit, appalled and shocked. He pushed her off him and put his hands in his pockets.
"Why yeh!" Dark Patrisha snapped, stomping her foot. "Yeh're SUCH a sodding douchebag!"
"Hmph," Dark Pit replied, walking away.
Our promise… he thought. You completely forgot. I'll never accept that. Stupid Tap!
-POINTLESS SCENE TRANSITION-
(One Year Later)
Dark Pit and Dark Patrisha were trapped together in the Realm of Darkness and there was nothing they could do about it. They just sat at the sea, giving up all hope of freedom.
"Say, Kuro?" Dark Patrisha said. "Who did yeh hae yer first snog with?"
Dark Pit looked over at Dark Patrisha with a curious expression.
"What's with that all of a sudden?" he asked.
"I remembered the day I nearly drowned at The Midnight Beach whilst looking out at the sea," she explained. "Yeh saved me back then, but y'know, we really argued over whether or not it counted as a snog, huh? Because yeh said it wasn't yer first."
Dark Pit rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Now," he said. "How would I remember something like that?"
Dark Patrisha looked over at him, annoyed and upset.
"Yeh said it yourself!" she snapped. "Did yeh forget yer own words?!"
Dark Pit shook his head.
"No," he answered. "I remember."
Dark Patrisha became fascinated and curious.
"So, who was it?" she asked. "Is she someone I know? Is she someone from Smashville?"
Dark Pit gave her a look of boredom and confusion.
"What's with you?" he asked. "Why do you wanna know so badly?"
Dark Patrisha looked down, as if ashamed and embarrassed.
"I was just really curious about it," she answered. "That's all."
Dark Pit looked at her with a mixture of contempt, anger, and sadness.
"It happened ages ago…" Dark Pit said, looking away. "I don't quite remember."
"Is that so? Skane," Dark Patrisha replied. "Then, how about WE snog?"
Dark Pit looked over at her, shocked.
"Huh?" he asked.
"Ah, yeh don't wanna?" Dark Patrisha sighed, looking down sadly. "It's okay if yeh don't wanna… Just forget I said anything, okay?"
"H-Hold on," Dark Pit replied. "Why are you saying these things now?"
Dark Patrisha looked down, running her fingers through the ground.
"Well…" she answered. "I still haven't had my first snog … And at this rate, we could be consumed by the Darkness. I'm kinda jealous that yeh had thine… It's just… I really wanted to hae a snog. And I was wondering who would wanna hae a snog with me…"
"That's…" Dark Pit sighed. "So–"
Dark Patrisha's sniffled and light sobs cut him off.
"It's…" she sniffled. "It's so obvious, right?"
Dark Pit looked at her, concerned.
"Yeh're the only one I'd say these things to…" Dark Patrisha wept.
Dark Pit rolled his eyes.
"Alright…" he said.
Dark Patrisha looked over at him.
"This time, I'm taking it seriously," he said. "I'm not letting you go."
Dark Patrisha looked at him, shocked, before blushing and smiling, as she leaned down.
"Okay," she said. "Same here! I'm never gonna leave yeh either."
Dark Pit rolled his eyes before leaning up to his taller friend.
"You…" he chuckled. "Bimbo…"
They then shared a sweet and meaningful kiss.
The promise from our childhood isn't forgotten because it's lasted until now… he thought. It's what held us together ever so strongly.
When they pulled away, Dark Pit pulled Dark Patrisha in for a hug.
I didn't expect such a reward… she thought. Well, at least I hae no regrets now…
Dark Patrisha giggled.
"Huh?" Dark Pit asked. "What is it?"
"I just remembered one more thingamajig," Dark Patrisha answered. "Yeh hae to marry the Smashtopican yeh had yer first snog with."
Dark Pit gave her a look.
"Tappy…" he said. "You…"
"That's what I heard, but…" she explained. "I wonder… Did I hear it from yeh? Well, I guess it doesn't matter since I wasn't yer first, right?"
Dark Pit sighed, annoyed before leaning up and looking her in the eyes.
"Seriously," he said. "How bad is that memory of yours?"
"Huh?" Dark Patrisha asked.
"Anyway," Dark Pit chuckled. "You are my first, Tappy."
"Hm?" Dark Patrisha asked, confused. "What dae yeh mean?"
"Let's just leave it at that," he replied. "Alright?"
-POINTLESS SCENE TRANSITION-
(Several Months Later)
Dark Pit and Hana Kasane were watching a sleeping Dark Patrisha at the Mysterious Tower. Her heart had been swallowed by the Darkness and was unable to wake up.
"Tappy isn't waking up…" Dark Pit sighed, slapping her lightly. "What should I do?"
"How about you try kissing her?" Hana joked. "A magic kiss that will wake up Sleeping Beauty… In other words, the kiss of true love."
Dark Pit rolled his eyes.
"We're not Disney," Dark Pit replied. "No matter how hard we try to make it look, we'll never be Disney."
Hana gave him a look.
"Well," he shrugged. "It's worth a shot."
Dark Pit leaned in and kissed her, much to the surprise of Hana. When Dark Pit pulled away, he was saddened at the fact that Dark Patrisha continued to sleep, snoring softly.
"She still hasn't woken up…" Dark Pit frowned. "Why?"
Hana looked at him awkwardly.
"I didn't think you would do that…" she said.
"Is my love not enough?!" Dark Pit asked.
"Uhh…" Hana replied. "How should I know?"
-POINTLESS SCENE TRANSITION-
(Some Time Later)
This time, Dark Pit was the one not waking up. Dark Patrisha was holding him, crying.
"Kurooo…" she sobbed, unwilling to let go.
She started smacking him in the face repeatedly.
"He'll open his eyes and everything will be fine," Hana said. "Maybe he'll wake up if you kiss him."
"Smashing idea," Dark Patrisha replied, getting on top of him.
She kissed Dark Pit quickly and pulled away. She saw that he was still asleep and became upset all over again.
"He didn't…" Dark Patrisha wept. "Yeh lied to me, Hana…"
"You guys are so gullible…" Hana giggled, putting a party hat on Dark Patrisha's head. "I was just kidding. Sweetie, just go and eat some Cocoa Molten Cake or something."
"Cocoa Molten Cake?!" Dark Patrisha replied, excited.
She ran off to do just that, excited.
"Yahoo!" she squealed. "Party time!"
Dark Pit woke up at that.
Woah. Hana thought. That was easier than I thought!