Trouble on the High Seas
by Capella A. Morningside

Summary: Link and the King of Red Lions have a little argument. Pointless humor. Complete.

"I can't see a single thing on the horizon. Are you sure you know where we are?" asked a boy clad in a strange green outfit, attempting to stand on his toes and keep balance in his boat and scanning his surroundings... nothing but deep blue meeting light blue as far as the eye could see. The sun was at the very crown of the sky, so until it began to move one way or another, it would be impossible to tell any cardinal directions.

"Of course I am sure," came a response, almost as if from nowhere. There was a heavy creaking sound as the carved head of the boat craned around to face the child. "And if I'm not it's you that got us lost."

"I thought you were supposed to know everything." Link sighed, making himself comfortable.

"I never once said I know everything," came the sailboat's retort. Then, a shocked, "What are you doing?"

For the child was digging in his Delivery Bag, pulling out a wrapped package of small, red candies. "Getting used to being here, because you won't let me go anywhere."

King growled. "We can't go anywhere until we figure out where we are!"

"And we can't figure out where we are until we go somewhere and get our bearings." The boy popped one of the candies into his mouth.

"I would have thought your grandmother would have taught you better manners."

"I do have good manners, to other people," Link smirked, holding one of the candies against the sunlight to inspect it with one eye open. "I was never taught to respect boats, though."

"Would you at least take out your chart and try to figure out something?" the boat gave a frustrated sound, bowing its wooden head.

"No."

"Well, why not?"

Link rolled his eyes. "Because I've stared at the chart until my eyes got sore and that didn't help."

"You know, Link, if you were a child in my day that acted like that..."

But the child didn't let him finish. "Blah, blah, blah..."

King's temper grew. "Now listen here!"

"Are you quite done being annoying? Because..."

"Look, I've got something to say," the boat began. "And you are not to interrupt, young man!"

"But..."

"No buts! I pulled you from the water and took you to safety, it is because of me that you are here at all, that you still have a chance of saving your sister, that you are even alive. I cannot believe you would treat me in such a way, for I am not just your elder I am your superior and one, I might add, to whom you owe a decent amount of respect!"

When the boat had thoroughly exhausted himself with his temper, Link was standing again, staring at him intently with crossed arms. He began to speak in a near-whisper, a sarcastic, almost arrogant look on his young features. "West is..." a gesture of his head. "that way. That's... where we should go." A long pause, the smirk reappearing. "Sir."

Silence reigned for several moments, and King moved his head to face forward again.

"Right," the sailboat said at last. "Up sails."

Link began to unfold and set the sail, the wind filling it out and pushing them along before they were even readied.

"Grumpy old coot," Link commented at length.

"Now listen here!"