A/N: I guess I lied about the next chapter being next year. I hadn't originally planned to write any explanation for how Saitama ended up in the Eva universe because there are wayyy too many unoriginal and terrible scenarios for Saitama's extradimensional transit. Then I got the idea for this. So enjoy the prologue of the story posted after the actual first chapter. Because why not. Also shat this out in a day instead of the usual 2 months of writing 500 word portions and taking a 3 month hiatus. Progress! And possibly also spelling and grammar errors.

Another day, another monster. Saitama sighed, or rather he would have if he hadn't felt too lazy to actually perform the action of exhaling with more force than that deemed normal of an exhalation of the referred person.

'Twas a hot summer day, the kind in which the temperature is so unbearably heated that everything appears to be stagnant through the relativistic eyes of the viewer. When small businesses such as one of many barbershops located on sides of town are ventilated by a single fan. The owners of such establishments sit fanning themselves as they wait for those of sub-par intelligence, otherwise known as 'tourists' to enter the premises and squander larges amounts of the local currency for overpriced, low quality goods that break within a single week of purchase. This makes sense too, because the only likely customers are tourists. All the locals have already retreated, or perhaps, never left their buildings of dwelling. The tourists that walk the streets have not applied adequate amounts of sunblock, so when locals peer out the window, they smile at those poor deluded fools furthering their inevitable demise into skin cancer. Flies buzz amok because the inhabitants of wherever flies buzz amok are too hot and lazy to bother with raising a swatter.

It was on such a day that Saitama stood facing a notably annoying monster.

"I am Idiotic Crossover OC McGee! I was given life by millions of slightly overweight to overweight teenage girls with dyed hair, little to no friends, terrible academic skills and an unhealthy tendency to block out reality and escape into poorly written and completely illogical fantasy! Okay fine, maybe that's a little offensive and stereotypical, but seriously, have you seen the AO3 Harry Potter section? Sort by hits, choose explicit rating, M/M for relationships and prepare to be scarred for life."

What was with this guy? He seriously reminded Saitama of that Hybridization of a Dark Push Board guy of whatever.

"I am formed of the filthiest imaginings of Harry Potter and Naruto going into other universes such as that of Calvin and Hobbes and performing the most deranged acts of a sexual manner on Calvin, involving, but not limited to, taking his-"

That guy had punched out his tooth. Sure, it had been falling into a state of disrepair and causing him pain due to a lack of proper dental hygiene, and would have fallen out at a later date anyways, but still, that was his tooth!

"-and that's how they left Calvin a jizz-soaked mess, sobbing incoherently for his tiger Hobbes!"

He'd got the tooth replaced later, at a heavy cost to his purse* and wait a minute, wasn't Calvin supposed to be a child? And these Harry Potter and Naruto guys violated him like THAT?!** He'd have to pay a visit to those two in the future to teach them a lesson about touching little boys in their 'no-no squares.'

"And now it's your turn to experience it!"

Okay, enough was enough. It was time to end this guy. There were bystanders around, and if he was too judge by their facial expressions, this guy was seriously disturbing public peace. Time to be a hero.

There are only a few words that could be used to describe Saitama's next action. Mostly because he really didn't do that much. He just kinda cocked his fist back and swung.

And that's how Idiotic Crossover OC McGee was turned into a pile of blood and flesh.

But wait! There's more! Billy Mays here with an amazing deal! Introducing the all new "Rest of the Story!" If you order now you can receive the rest of the story absolutely free! But wait! There's more! If you call now you we'll double the offer, letting you read the Rest of the Story twice! At no extra cost! Just call the toll free number listed below:
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We Now Resume Your Regularly Scheduled Program.

Due to his poorly written nature, combined with innate traits of Mary Sue-ness, he somehow managed to summon a portal right under Saitama's feet. The hero, not expecting the action, fell through the ground. Into the portal he went, seriously annoyed to be missing another sale.

Hero gone, the portal winked out of existence behind him, leaving only the remnants of a punched monster.

...

On the other end another portal blinked into existence. Out popped Saitama. Looking around at the unfamiliar scenery, he sighed, his thoughts filled with questions. Now what was he supposed to do? Where even was he? Would he ever get to another sale in his life without being interrupted by inconvenient monster appearances? Find out literally next episode of OPMZ. (Not really)

Suddenly, a loud siren interrupted his musings. Looking around, he noticed something in the sky. A rather large something. You could call it a giant floating eye, in the same way that Deep Sea King was just a large fish, but that would inaccurate to most perceptions of the subject.

Whatever the eye thing was, it looked as if it was going to fall on him. Pushing away a Serious Series: Serious Deja Vu, Saitama did what he did to the meteor.

He jumped and punched it.

...

Several miles away, a pyramid full of people watched in disbelief as Sahaquiel suddenly exploded.

Upon reviewing video footage, it was determined that some bald man had broken multiple laws of gravity, physics and things a human body was generally capable of doing.

Upon further investigation, Nerv agents located the bald man shown in surveillance footage and brought him to the GeoFront.

The first question they asked the man happened to be: "What did you do to the angel?"

The bored answer: "I punched it."

The response: "You cannot just punch the angels."

Roll Credits.

*Forcing him to miss quite a few sales, and dine on Top Ramen for seven nights a week for several months.

**While Saitama had tuned out a good majority of the rant, he did hear small portions of it, and needless to say, it was stuff that the belonged on an AO3 story with at least ten thousand hits, one thousand kudos, five hundred bookmarks and at least fifty tags, all relating to terms of a sexual nature. Did I mention that it was also a Harry Potter fic?

A/N: Now that that's out of the way, I can finally get off my ass and start working on chapter 4. See ya around.