THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF
I do not own Doctor Who or the Maltese Falcon and I am making no profit off of this.
CHAPTER 1
CLARA OSWALD, PRIVATE EYE
The moment that Clara Oswald opened her eyes she instantly knew that everything around her was just so, so wrong. For starters, she was in a universe that was completely devoid of color. Everything, even her, was in black and white. The next thing that she noticed that wasn't right was that she wasn't in her room in the TARDIS where she remembered falling asleep. In fact, she had absolutely no idea where she was. The only thing that she knew for sure was that she was in somebody's office and had apparently been sleeping in a chair with her head down on a desk.
"Well, that was comfortable I'm sure," Clara said to herself with a sarcastic smile as she tried to distract herself to keep the panic that was rapidly filling her heart from seizing control of her.
She didn't know where she was. All of her childhood fears of being lost came right back to her all over again.
She tried to focus on something, anything, in order to keep herself from panicking as she had when she was trapped in the Doctor's timestream. What she focused on first was her clothes.
"What in the world am I wearing?" Clara said in disbelief.
She had just noticed that she was wearing a trenchcoat and a hat like the old private detectives would do in those black and white movies that her dad used to make her watch when she was a kid. That was when she made the connection. This entire place, whatever it was, was in black and white.
Was she somehow trapped in an old movie?
"No, that's too weird even for the Doctor," Clara said out loud.
She really didn't have a better explanation at the moment though.
She decided to search her surroundings for some clues as to what was going on here, and so she went to the front door of the office and opened it. She gasped in surprise as she saw the name on the other side of the door.
It read: Clara Oswald, Private Investigator.
"What? Since when am I a private eye? I'm an English teacher. I don't know anything about solving mysteries. What is going on here?" Clara said as she just kept getting more and more confused.
Suddenly she heard a voice that she recognized as her own start speaking, and she realized that it was doing narration. She just stood there with her mouth open as she listened to it.
"My name is Oswald, Clara Oswald, and this is my world. It's not a pretty world. It's dark and it's dank and it's often full of death and danger, but that's what you have to put up with in the private detective business. That's right. I'm a dame and I'm a private eye. Do you have a problem with that? It had already been a long night, and it was about to get even longer because I was about to get a new client. A client who was going to lead me straight into one of the most dangerous cases of my life," Clara's voice narrated.
"Who is that and why are you making me sound like a character from a really cheesy version of the Maltese Falcon? Why is everything from an old movie for? And 'dame'? Dame? I am not a dame! Who are you?" Clara shouted.
Then Clara was interrupted as a woman that looked oddly familiar to her somehow came to the door of her office as she stood there and looked her up and down. She was dressed in an old 1940s style dress that showed off as much of her legs as possible, and she definitely had the longest legs of anyone that Clara had ever seen in her life.
Those legs go on for miles. Clara thought to herself and then she remembered where she had seen her from before.
This was one of the Doctor's previous companions who she saw in the TARDIS' files once. It was more than that though. A long buried memory came up in her mind from out of nowhere, and then she knew exactly who this was.
"You're the angry Scottish girl. Amy . . . Pond, right?" Clara said hesitantly as her memories continued to bubble to the surface or Oswin Oswald's did anyway.
Amy looked at her in surprise as she said, "Do I know you? Your voice sounds familiar, but I could swear that I've never met you before in my life."
"Well, yes and no. I have met you before, but I didn't look like this. I was a talking pepper pot actually," Clara said with a grin.
"Oswin? That's not possible though. You were a Dalek and you were killed. Then again I'm a fine one to talk about what's not possible considering where we are. He must have plucked you from my memories and gave you a face," Amy said more to herself than to Clara.
"He? Who is he? What are you talking about?" Clara asked in confusion.
Amy hesitated at first and then finally said, "I know that this is going to be hard to believe, but this isn't the real world. We're actually trapped inside of one of my books, and I really, really wish that I had never written it. It was horrible to write and even more horrible to actually live in."
"We're in a book? Is that why everything's in black and white?" Clara asked.
"You believe me?" Amy asked in surprise.
"Well, it would make everything here make a lot more sense. I actually thought maybe I was trapped in an old movie. This is definitely not where I went to sleep last night," Clara said.
Then Amy noticed the name on the door for the first time and said, "Clara Oswald? No, this is supposed to be a Melody Malone story. Who's Clara Oswald?"
"I am. Who's Melody Malone?" Clara asked as her head started to hurt.
"She's the one who's supposed to be the detective in this story. You're dressed like her and this is her office, but you definitely look nothing like her. This isn't right. Why is the story changing for? It must be a way to keep me from getting out of the dream by keeping me away from Melody," Amy said in puzzlement.
Clara started to tear up as she said, "What is going on here? Please tell me."
Amy put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder as she said, "It's alright. We'll both get through this together, okay?"
Then the unseen narrator with Clara's voice struck again as she said, "The woman who came to see me was filled with mystery and secrets, and she had gams that went up to her ears. She said that she had a case for me. It was a mission that only I could help her with."
"Shut up! I never should have put myself in the story like that. I should have known that would come back to haunt me someday. Why did I ever have to write this stupid book for anyway? Why did he have to pick this one out of all of my other much better ones?" Amy said in an annoyed voice.
"Why would you write something with dialogue that cheesy?" Clara asked.
"I was a struggling writer and I was trying to break into the field any way that I could, okay? These kinds of detective stories were really popular back in the 30s and 40s. I'm so glad that I got to write things like Summer Falls later on," Amy said.
Clara looked at her with a huge smile on her face as she squealed in glee and said, "You're Amelia Williams?"
"Yeah, that's my married name and the one that I wrote my books under. Have you read any of them?" Amy asked.
Then she had her answer as Clara slammed into her and knocked the wind out of her as she embraced her tightly. Amy tried to push her away, but Clara had a grip of steel around her and refused to budge.
"I love Summer Falls! I used to read it to my kids. You're my favorite author of all time. I can't believe that you used to travel with the Doctor too," Clara said with a huge smile on her face.
"You travel with the Doctor?" Amy asked in surprise.
"Yeah, I've been with him for a few months now. Well, actually I've known him all his lives even though that wasn't really me. It's a long story. The point is that we've been through so much together. I'd do anything for him," Clara said with pure affection in her eyes as she thought of him.
"You love him," Amy said with a grin.
"No, don't be ridiculous," Clara said as she suddenly let Amy go and backed away from her as she began to feel her face turning red.
"You love him. Believe me. That's easy to do. So where is he?" Amy asked as she said the last part with concern.
Clara thought about it but drew a blank as she said, "I . . . don't know. I remember going to sleep in my bedroom in the TARDIS and then waking up here. The last time I saw Chin Boy was when I left the Console Room."
"Chin Boy?" Amy asked with amusement.
"That's what I call him because of . . ." Clara started to say.
"Oh, I know exactly why you call him that. He has a chin that should be registered as a deadly weapon. What were you doing right before you went to sleep?" Amy asked as she interrupted her.
"I . . . don't remember. Wait a minute. Yes, I do. I was reading one of your books. I didn't get very far in it though because I didn't like it. Sorry. I just thought it was kind of boring. I actually feel asleep reading it," Clara said.
Amy smiled as she said, "I feel asleep writing it so don't feel so bad. Like I said, they were popular at the time. If it makes you feel any better, it didn't sell that well either. I found success writing much better stuff later on."
"Wait a minute. I know what's going on now. You actually said it before, but I was so upset that I didn't pick up on it. This is a dream! That's why everything's in black and white. I read somewhere that you dream in black and white. That's why you're here too because you're my favorite writer, and your books helped me through . . . some really hard times. My mother used to read them to me when I was little, and I after I lost her I read them again in order to reconnect to her," Clara admitted.
Amy looked touched as she said, "I'm glad that I could help. You're right and wrong about what's going on. This is a dream but it's not like any that you've ever had before, Clara. This dream is dangerous and if you die in it you die for real. Plus I still have no idea where the Doctor is."
"What? Is he here too?" Clara asked.
"I believe he is somewhere because I got a message from him recently telling me to look for him. Only when I went to the meeting place, he wasn't there. I think something's happened to him. That's what I came here for. I based the original detective in this book on my daughter and that's what I came to see her character about. I need to find the Doctor before it's too late. It's the only way to end the dream and get us both out of it now. I'm sure the Doctor will know what to do if we can just find him," Amy said.
"I don't understand. Why can't I just wake up now that I know that I'm dreaming?" Clara asked as she tried very hard to do exactly that and found to her horror that she couldn't.
Amy looked at her sadly as she said, "It is a dream but it's not a natural one, Clara. This dream isn't one of yours at all. It's actually being controlled by someone else. Tell me, Clara. Have you ever heard of the Dream Lord?"
Next: Clara and Amy must team up to find the Doctor as the Dream Lord does everything that he possibly can in order to keep them from getting to him before he does. What is the Dream Lord really up to and where is the Doctor?