Episode 1: The Tray (S01, Ep. 4)
"I thought Anna might have come down for her dinner." Bates was slightly worried. Anna had taken to her bed with a cold, and he hadn't seen her for the last couple of days. He found himself thinking about her at odd times during the day - and truth be told, she was occupying a tremendously large part of his waking thoughts.
O'Brien with her usual tact informed him that it wasn't likely she'd be down as it would mean she'd have to go back to work, then proceeded to whinge about missing the fair because of the amount of work SHE was having to do. Bates sighed inwardly at O'Brien's tirade, the woman really was intolerable. As O'Brien rattled on, Bates began to have the ghosting of an idea.
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He paused at the top of the steps to catch his breath and gather his courage. Silly really. He had put together the tray, added some flowers, and climbed the steps all the while thinking what an old fool he was. But somehow, he felt that he owed her this kindness, that this was a way he could thank her, show her he did care. And here he was, breathing calmed, tray steady, standing before "The Door." That was how they all referred to it - "The Door," as if it were some magical barrier, beyond which lay an undiscovered country. Perhaps, mused Bates, but it is a country I will never know.
He knocked softly on the door, once, twice, checking all the time to see whether he was at risk of being discovered. He finally took a chance and called her name, "Anna," softly, his voice a husky whisper.
He heard her then."Mr Bates?" her voice was a mixture of disbelief and uncertainty.
"Can you open the door?" He kept his voice low.
"I daren't. No one can open that door except Mrs. Hughes."
"Just for a moment, I've brought you something." He could see her now, a shadow behind the pane of frosted glass, see her hesitate, then reach for something. The key turned in the lock, and she opened the sight of her threatened to take his breath away. He held the tray out to her, and she smiled...
STOP...REWIND…
He held the tray out to her. She looked at him and smiled, and in that instant he knew he was lost. He had never in his life seen anything so beautiful or so pure. She tried to say something, but he shushed her and pushed the tray a little closer to her. She took it, all the while gazing at him with such a look of wonder and joy, that he was quite undone. Before he knew what he was doing, he reached his hand up to brush a strand of hair from her face. Gently, he tucked it behind her ear, letting his palm graze her cheek.
"You are so beautiful," he found himself whispering. "So very beautiful." He allowed his hand to cup her face, willing her to see what was in his heart, what he couldn't, mustn't say. Her countenance never changed, her eyes held his, full of something so deep he threatened to drown in them. She tried to speak again, but the sound of a door closing interrupted her, bringing him back to reality. He was once more in control of himself, but couldn't resist brushing her cheek with his thumb, as he gave her a brief smile.
She moved back through the door, and he turned away as she closed it. Anna took the tray back to her room and set in on her bed. She needed to do something before she ate. Reaching for the drawer in her nightstand, she pulled out her Bible. Carefully she plucked the delicate, pale purple flower from the bouquet on her tray, patted it dry with her shawl, and gently placed it within the worn pages. She closed the book, and clasped it to her, eyes closed, a silent prayer of thanks on her lips, a silent prayer of hope in her heart.
A/N: I have watched this scene countless times, because I am absolutely drawn to Anna. I have rarely seen an actress look as beautiful as Joanne Froggatt does as she plays this scene. I remember thinking the first time I watched how on earth Bates could not be affected by the way she looked at him. There was such love in her face. I have read interviews where Froggatt says that she laments the fact that Anna never gets to wear make-up or pretty dresses. My God, she needs to take a look at herself in that scene, she outshines Mary or Sybil by a long-shot. This vignette is a result of me wanting Bates to feel what I felt when Anna looked up at him.