A/N. I don 't own Merlin. Though I would love the cast to live in my house, they don't. So I own nothing and this comes from lack of sleep, illness and a want to avoid revision. Enjoy
Tankards and missing eyebrows.
'Arthur I'm a warlock.' Merlin slurred, looking up foggily through his dark hair. His sight was fuzzy, and the room was spinning. He must have hit his head. Funny he didn't remember it.
'No you're not Merlin' Arthur slurred back, his head lolling into his hands. 'You are an idiot.'
'Noooo' Merlin said angrily thumping his fist on the table. 'I am Emrys.' He smiled wildly his eyes dilated 'Ruler of the druids.' Arthur burst out laughing, he promptly slid of his chair sideways landing on the ground with a heavy thump. He looked surprised for a moment, before his giggles doubled. Merlin was glaring down at Arthur.
'S'not funny. Tell truth I do.' Merlin blinked. That didn't sound quite right.
'Do not.' Arthur drawled back, crawling back onto his wooden stool.
'I do! Never lie to you.' Merlin paused, he was sure that was a lie. 'I am a warlock.'
'You are not a bloody sorce-sorce-sorcerer.' Arthur slurred at him, his fingers digging into the wooden table.
'No' agreed Merlin.
'Good, glad- glad we're agreed.' Arthur waved a hand at him before nearly losing his balance.
'No. Cause' I'm a warlock.'
'Merlin.' Arthur moaned lowering his head to his hands as it began to throb. 'You're not.'
'Am too.' Merlin lent forward and knocked Arthurs elbow out from under him. Arthurs head hit the table hard, causing the Prince to swear loudly. His head shot back up and he was rubbing his forehead in pain.
'Prove it then.' He growled. Merlin paused before raising his hand shakily and held it in front of his, Arthur (still clutching his forehead) managed to quirk his eyebrow at Merlin in disbelief.
'ignis casusluminis' Nothing happened, Arthur stared at Merlin before bursting into laughter, his hand thumping on the table.
'What the hell. Was that supposed to do' he still managed his eyes streaming. Merlin frowned before his eyes widened in horror at the sight of Arthurs face. His mouth was wide in horror as his mouth began to make goldfish movements. 'What's happened Merlin. What's wrong? Merlin. MERLIN.' Arthur roared groping at his face trying to find whatever had happened.
'Arthur you have to promise not to be annoyed.' Merlin started, holding his head again. Arthurs face turned a deep shade of puce.
'Well… try to promise not to hurt me?' Merlin inquired sheltering behind his arms. The movement seemed to have confused him and he began to lurch violently. Arthur lent over the table grabbed him by the neckerchief and pulled him across the table.
'Merlin. Tell me.' Arthur punctuated each word with clarity. You wouldn't know how much ale he had consumed earlier this evening.
'Well you see, sire.' Arthur noted the sudden formality. 'It would seem that you are currently missing an eyebrow.' Arthur pushed Merlin violently backwards and stood up. Grabbing his tankard Arthur swung it forward where it collided with Merlin's eye socket. 'ow! Arthur you prat! Stop it stop it! You violent mongrel! Is that what all royals are like, are just the clotpoles?' Arthur stepped out from the table and threw the tankard at Merlin. Merlin swung his arms furiously trying to stop his chair from over toppling. Unfortunately he failed and his head collided with the ground. He lay stunned for a moment as Arthur walked towards him. Unfortunately for Arthur and perhaps fortunately for Merlin, Arthur was a lot more drunk than he looked and after stumbling on his second step, he too collided head first with the ground. Both passed out into alcohol induced sleep. One could only wonder what they would remember in the morning.
The early light woke both the snoozing men. Blinking heavily and with thumping headaches they both raised themselves to their feet. Albeit very slowly and carefully. A few swear words may have been ushered. Once they were in a standing position (although leaning very heavily on the table). Arthur and Merlin both stared at each other in horror.
'Arthur did you know you only have one eyebrow, or is it a new fashion statement?' Merlin joked loudly. Arthurs hand flew to his face, checking his eyebrows. He was horror struck to realise one was missing. He must look like a court jester.
'Merlin, why do you have a black eye?' Arthur questioned looking at the blue and black angry bruise around Merlin's eye. It was in a ring shape and looked very painful.
'Arthur you have a bruise on the middle of your forehead; thought you might want to know.' Instantly Arthur's hands' flew to his forehead where he prodded the bruise, wincing at the new pain that shot through his skull. Merlin chuckled at Arthurs' discomfort before his headache increased tenfold.
'What the hell happened?' Arthur yelled. Merlin thought back, then glanced around the room thoughtfully; carefully noting the empty tankards, the barrel of ale and the state of the room.
'I think it's safe to assume sire. That you got drunk. Banged your head on the table and threw a tankard at me.'
'You can't just jump to conclusions! Maybe we were attacked and I fought of the attackers while you cowered on the floor.'
'And for a laugh they decided to shave your eyebrow off?' Arthur growled at Merlin. Merlin headed towards the door ignoring Arthur.
'I don't know about you, your royal prat. But I'm going to Gaius. He might give me something for this awful headache. That I blame you for.'
'Merlin, if anyone asks we were attacked. I did not get drunk and fall over. Got it?'
'Yes sire.' Merlin sighed opening the door and stepping out. Arthur seemed to deliberate for a moment before saying,
'And you better do your chores on time Merlin. Especially after you magicked my eyebrow off.' Arthur said lightly.
'What?' Merlin yelped. Arthur stepped forwards and started to close the door in Merlin's face.
'Don't worry, your secret is safe from me warlock.' Arthur grinned and slammed the door. Grimacing at the pain in his head Arthur wobbled over to his bed and collapsed onto it. He needed a new drinking partner if this one was going to burn his eyebrow of every time. It might be interesting though. Even if Merlin is a crap warlock.
A/N hope you enjoyed, it was fun to write and has been brewing for a while. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed.