Imperfection
My first ever attempt at writing full-on slash.
I've tried to make the characters have about the same amount of knowledge I do on the subject! Very little!
Contains slash sex.
It's that time when night seems no longer an invasion of the day, but has instead found glory of its own – a bright-shining crescent moon, faint blushes of stars, strips of clouds, all silhouetted against the caustic black background of the depths of space.
And at this time, two boys stumble back into a bedroom, intoxicated on laughter and giddy from adrenaline; a pretty, petite auburn beauty and a slightly more muscular, stronger, more dominant, darker one. One kicks the door shut with his foot, the loud slam resonating for a few moments, then both pull each other into a sweet embrace.
"Thank you, Blaine, for tonight," Kurt says, smiling into a second kiss.
"No, thank you, Mr Kurt Hummel." Blaine Anderson is always the gentleman.
Both boys collapse sideways onto the bed and kiss again, tasting desperation.
"Hey, Blaine? Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, what?" Blaine's laughing at first, then looks up at Kurt's face properly. He's being serious.
"I want us...to make love." Kurt's never sounded more innocent. Faint blushes are beginning to appear on his cheeks, flowers slowly bursting into full bloom.
Blaine opens his mouth to say something, then realises he has nothing to say.
"I mean, it's what people always do on prom night, isn't it? And we've been together long enough, haven't we?"
"Well...sure." Blaine can't hide his surprise.
"You are ready, aren't you?"
"I've been ready for a while. I just didn't mention it because I thought you weren't ready."
"Well...," Kurt steels himself, nerves just beginning to slip through the cracks of his fortress, "I am now."
Somewhere, in their next warm kiss, their clothes are shed. Tuxedo trousers and suit jackets and shoes lie in a mess all over the bedroom floor, a mess, not knowing whose are whose and neither really caring because their mothers can iron them when they next see them. Both boys are lying next to each other in a tangle of limbs and linen, warm in some places and colder in others, each only in their underwear and a daze of passion.
"Kurt, are you okay? Are you sure you want to go through with this?"
"Yes, yes, I'm sure," Kurt replies, even though his voice signifies quite the opposite.
"I'm not going to do it unless you want me to." Blaine runs a hand down Kurt's spine, which Kurt arches into, his exhale slightly stronger than usual.
"Just...can you top? I'm really not sure what I'm doing and I know that you do, so..." Kurt's voice trails off into thought and worry, looking at Blaine's expressionless face as he takes in these words. He's not sure what to think. To be honest, he doubts that he does know any more than Kurt when it comes down to the basic facts of their actions, but he'll use what he can. He knows how much this means to Kurt and is desperate to make this as comfortable for him as he can.
"Sure," he tells Kurt, soothingly. "Of course I will. I love you, Kurt."
Kurt answers by pressing his lips to Blaine's throat, Blaine leaning backwards into it. Kurt's hands are cold on Blaine's back and he shivers slightly as Kurt draws a long line with his tongue from the centre of Blaine's clavicle, across his neck and up to his jaw line. He quickly kisses Blaine's earlobe, then turns back to Blaine's lips. As they start to get into everything, each touch igniting a new spark of passion, Blaine suddenly stops and gets up, leaving Kurt lying alone on the bed.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting things ready. I don't want to have to stop right on the edge of it to prepare everything, because all the energy will just drain away. See?" Blaine places a small bottle of lubricant and a condom on the bedside table, ready and waiting to be used.
"Guess so. But please, stop making me nervous." Blaine notices how Kurt eyes the objects with some kind of fascination.
He sighs. "Kurt, if you're not ready, I don't want to –"
"Stop it, Blaine! I've told you already."
"I don't want you to have regrets over this. The last thing I want – hey! What's wrong?"
"Just – what if I'm not good enough? What if I can't do it right?"
Blaine pulls Kurt into a hug, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, enveloping him in calm and reassurance and condolence.
"What if you're no good?" Blaine laughs. "What about me? I want to do this right for both of us and I would hate to know that I did anything wrong. Please, please tell me if you don't want to do this. We can wait. I'm ready whenever you're ready."
Kurt pulls away from the hug, smiles back at Blaine. "Where were we?"
So Blaine leans forward and starts to kiss Kurt's neck, along the delicate ridge of his collar bone then down, down over the causeway of Kurt's ribcage, brushing his tongue along the concave valley of his heart, tasting life itself flowing around someone. They lean back, Blaine on top, Kurt flexing and falling in and out of Blaine's touches. He's going further now, the kisses harder, wetter, along Kurt's abdomen and even closer.
He fingers the elastic of Kurt's underwear for a minute and, when no protest is given, he slowly brings them down Kurt's legs before quickly taking off his own. Now they're both as open and vulnerable as they'll ever be, more naked even than on the day they were born, covered in sweat and tasting of desire.
Kurt sits up slightly, staring down at himself, then at Blaine. Each is surveying the other's body, trying not to judge.
"You're beautiful, Kurt Hummel," Blaine whispers, before running a hand down the centre of Kurt's chest. Kurt gasps a little, his body giving way to a slight tremor.
"So are you," Kurt exhales, reaching forward to touch Blaine but not reaching any further than his shoulders. Blaine smiles, possibly a bit teasingly.
"Turn over, onto your back. I think it might be easier." And Kurt obliges, blissfully unaware of the fact that everything Blaine's doing or saying is guesswork, fabricated around the basic facts he knows. "Now, open your legs slightly, not too wide, just a bit." Again, Kurt does as he's told, head face down into the pillow, and Blaine kneels between them, leaning over Kurt's back, his hands on Kurt's shoulders.
Blaine trails down each little vertebrae, every little roll of Kurt's spine. Kurt feels his hips curl downwards, into the mattress, as Blaine gets lower, lower, right onto the base of Kurt's back, so close to edging further onwards. Kurt's issues are muffled, low and desperate.
Then Blaine lifts off him. He keeps his head down and, moments later, he hears a tearing sound and some heavy-handed fumbling. Blaine's trying to work quickly, but he's slightly clumsy and unsure and tentative, shaking just a little.
"Kurt, when we do this, it's gonna hurt. You know that, right?"
"Mmhm." Blaine can't tell if Kurt's nervous or whether he simply can't hear him properly face down.
"If you want me to stop at any time, just say so, okay?"
Blaine quickly runs a slick of lubricant over Kurt, then bends over, close, just pressing against him.
"I love you, Kurt."
And Blaine starts to push into him. It's difficult, and takes a few tries to get it exactly right, but when he does, Kurt whimpers below him. He goes forward again, and Kurt cries out fully this time, a mixture of pain and perfection.
"Further, Blaine..."
Blaine tries once more, then stays there for a moment, unsure what to do next but allowing for Kurt's body, which had become tense and contorted slightly at the previous manoeuvre, time to recover. Blaine kisses Kurt's neck softly, sweetly, feeling how tight and warm Kurt is around him. Slowly, he starts to rock back and forth, sliding in and out a little, while Kurt's pain slowly disappears and is replaced purely with a glowing heat.
It's messy and awkward and neither really know what they're doing, but there's something beautiful about it all the same. They can't get into a rhythm, neither come, neither even come close to reaching an orgasm. It's uncomfortable and odd and even slightly painful, but the tender intimacy between these two young men becoming one flesh for the first time is a heart-shattering miracle.
Blaine pulls out of Kurt slowly, who releases a deep sigh and relaxes back down into the bed.
"You okay, Kurt?"
He's speechless.
"You're bleeding a little. Here."
Blaine bends down and slides his tongue over the area, now red, sore, the skin broken in a few places and blood just welling to the surface, to soothe the damage he now feels guilty about causing.
Kurt rolls over to face Blaine, still unable to speak. Blaine moves from on top of him to lie down next to him on his side. Slowly, he starts to run his fingers through Kurt's hair, slightly lank with sweat. The air is full of the scents of lust and romance and after-sex.
"Did it hurt?" Blaine wants to hear it from Kurt, even though he already knows the answer.
"Yes." Kurt's voice is slightly cracked like a mirror. "But...it felt good, too. Oh, Blaine!"
And he buries his face into Blaine's shoulder, while Blaine awkwardly pats his back, knowing things will only get better from here.