Yes scream, shout, and let it all out! I'm back but with a drabble while procrastinating on a paper due in a few hours. Yeah this drabble came from my mind wandering away from the paper and I was thinking about my dad teaching me poker which lead to a commercial relating to strip poker I watched when I was a kid and I saw crossbust's character concept of the human Crosshairs and BAM! This drabble!
Also it's rated M for the result of strip poker and for the fact there's a ton of swearing since yeah Crosshairs and I share one thing: a habit for swearing!
I'm so screwed with my paper ;-;
Signing Off: The Sunflower Seed
Key
(f/n): first name
(c): color
(h/c): hair color
How did you get into this situation again? Currently, you were sitting at a poker table, with the now human Autobot's, looking nervously at Crosshairs. He was surprisingly tan but with the Australian accent, it was fitting. He wore his traditional green trench coat and was currently watching Joyce shuffle the cards.
"We're playing Texas Hold'em," Hound grunted, taking a puff of an actual cigar, his belly barely grazing the mahogany table, "why is it named after a state?"
"Because why not?" You shrugged harmlessly, noticing the coy smirk Cross was sending you from across the table. He took the head of one end and you the other while the other three Autobots took up the middle with Hound closest to Cross while Bumblebee was to your right. Josh took the opposite side regarding the three Autobot's since he was the dealer.
Bumblebee's blonde hair was wild and spiked, blue eyes filled with excitement, wearing a yellow sweatshirt with black stripes and black jeans; Drift had his long black hair in a high ponytail, dressed in a simple blue t-shirt and jeans; Hound wore a dirty white wife beater tank top, dark green cargo pants, a long full grey beard, and a bald head; and well Cross had his buttoned trench coat, black jeans, dark brown hair matching his thin 'stache, and his eyes were filled with sly determination.
"Ah like the idea of strip poker." Oh, there we go! The real reason why Crosshairs insisted you join the men for the day. You were about to argue when Bumblebee cried out, "Yeah! I'm down!" Drift only shook his head and Hound looked at the both of you before shooting a nasty glare at Crosshairs.
"Why?"
"We 'ave no money to bet with and why not add a little humiliation?"
You couldn't help but let a tiny smirk cross your face. You were wearing a (c) thin flowing t-shirt with a (c) spaghetti strapped shirt underneath, (c) jean shorts, and of course your converse sneakers. You rested your elbows on the rail and asked, "Depends on how far you're willing to go?"
"Well now (f/n), how about we go until we're all butt ass naked." You matched his grin. He was totally going down! You weren't kicked out of casinos for nothing! Although that's how you met Cross, you met him at a poker table, you both got kicked out of the casino at the same time, and the rest is history. Now you found out he was an Autobot when he accidentally changed into his Cybertronian form instead of making a hologram projection scenario of getting his human form into his alt mode.
Joyce dealt out the cards in silence and once everyone is about to bet, he cleared his throat, "I think that might be a little unfair to (f/n). She is the only female at this table." Everyone went red in the face except for Cross. He was such a smug bastard! You looked at your cards, tuning out the conversation the others were having: King of Spades and Queen of Hearts. Hopefully there was a chance you can out bluff Crosshairs. Since after all, he seems eager for you to take off your clothes.
You raised your eyes and focused on the flop at hand: a queen, an ace, and a jack. You bit your bottom lip so you wouldn't smile. Your poker face wasn't the strongest especially at the thought of Crosshairs losing so badly.
"Oh, I think (f/n) has something juicy~" Bumblebee sang as he set the cards back on the table.
'Damn it all Bee! You weren't supposed to say that!' You thought, watching as all eyes turn to you. Crap! Not good! Especially since Cross looked down at his cards and boomed confidently, "I'll raise to two items of clothin' bein' removed." Everyone looked to one another and folded, rather than taking two pieces off and settled for one. Except for you and Cross. You hoped Lady Luck was on your side so then you could beat Cross at his own game. All you needed was an ace of any sort and you were safe!
The next card was revealed: a ten of diamond. Crap! You hope that ace showed up soon! You were not about to pull off your shirt and pants for Cross. At least not in public but that's another complicated story for a different day.
"Oi!" You raised your head and Cross's eyes just burned your soul, "You ready to lose love?"
"Oh, hell to the no!" You shook your head with a grin before quietly chuckling. You were ready to beat Cross and put his ego in check. Joyce watched the tension between you two and laid down the last and final card: an ace of diamond. You wanted to explode happily but you wanted to be sure Cross lost. Joyce seemed to get the same idea.
He turned his body to face Cross while you did an early victory dance in your head. He coughed, "Crosshairs, since you made the highest wager for everyone here, why don't you show us your cards?" Cross threw his cards to Joyce and it happened to be two kings. Your lips spread into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.
"Oh no…" Drift was the one who spoke for the first time, trying to read your cards. The others seemed anxious to have you reveal your cards and for a split second, you swore you saw Cross's grin falter a little bit. Joyce gestured with his hand, "Show us your cards (f/n)." You laughed and turned up your cards, revealing your hand. You heard a collection of noises from around the table: Crosshairs and Hound swearing with surprise, Bumblebee shrieking with laughter, and jaw dropped shocked looks from both Drift and Joyce.
You felt your cheeks heat up to a hilarious shade of pink, your abs hurting from the suppressed laughter. You had to reign yourself in so you didn't look like a smug winner. That was Crosshairs' job after all.
"What kind of odds do you have, (f/n)!?" It was Joyce who asked that instead of Crosshairs. Then again, the paratrooper already asked you that question and you answered that Lady Luck favored you when it came to gambling. Speaking of which, after settling down, you faced Cross and beamed, "Strip!"
Drift modestly kicked off his shoes, Bumblebee threw off his sweatshirt to reveal a yellow t-shirt, Hound untied his shoes, and then Crosshairs just raised his chin defiantly at you before standing up. Oh, dear God! Please don't make him take off his pants this early in the game! You don't think you'd be able to handle the fuzzy feeling in your chest if he did take it off! He slowly unbuttoned his trench coat, slowly and how the fuck was he making it sensual? Cross roughly threw off the coat and tossed it aside revealing a black vest with a short sleeved black dress shirt underneath. So that's how he dressed…never thought he'd dress like a suave person you'd see in older films.
He unbuttoned the vest too and threw it aside before sitting down and tossing the cards back to Joyce. You followed his example and slid it back to Joyce. You couldn't help but tease, "Are you regretting your decision to play against a professional poker player?" Crosshairs narrowed his eyes darkly, "Not a chance!" Let's just hope you didn't invoke a curse on yourself for the rest of the game.
The next round ended up with you stripping but not by Crosshairs winning. It was Bumblebee who won the next round! He won with a full house with only six's and four's. You on the other hand had a crappy hand with a five and a jack so that didn't really help you out. Cross and you went for the same article of clothing to remove: your shoes. It was a cheap shot on your end but you were not giving Cross any satisfaction right now. At least not yet.
Joyce dealt out a new set of cards and immediately you knew you were going to be screwed over: a two and a three.
"Fuck…" You drew out slowly, everyone looking at you. Bumblebee made a teasing noise while Drift looked to you tentatively, "I don't think you're in trouble just yet." The flop was revealed to be a king, a five, and a jack. Yeah, you were fucked. And you knew this was a bluffing game so your swearing sigh didn't help your bluff. You hesitated to look at Crosshairs since after all, he did raise the stakes when he was confident that'd he win. You raised your eyes to Crosshairs and it looked like he was about to place another wicked bet until Hound butted in, "You raise the clothes bet Cross and I swear I'll make you regret it!"
"Thanks Hound." You giggled as you watched the new card over turn: a three. You mentally begged, 'Please let Crosshairs fold! I can't afford to lose a round with him!'
"Just makin' sure I don't get out of this game so soon." Hound grunted, taking a puff of his cigar before meeting your eyes, "and so then you don't see me naked."
"Based on how this game is going," Drift abruptly spoke, "she will most likely see us naked."
Bumblebee made a blanching noise and the next card flip showed off a two. Okay maybe you weren't too fucked over but again, it's a bluffing game.
"Surprised your still in (f/n), thought you had a shitty hand?" You raised your head to Cross as everyone showed their cards. Bee didn't have anything, same with Drift, but with Hound he had two two's and Crosshairs had two three's. Crap he trumped everybody.
"Now it's your turn to strip." Cross purred with his velvet voice. You stood up and sexily removed the (c) flowy shirt and revealed your spaghetti strapped shirt. His eyes seemed to trace the curves of your body and you had to suppress a shiver of delight. Everyone seemed to follow your lead (minus Bumblebee he removed his pants.)
You gathered Bumblebee's cards and your own before sliding them to Joyce. You shivered a bit from the A/C being craned up so high. It was the middle of summer at Joyce's vacation home in Arizona. So, you either dealt with the freezing A/C or the hot air and the hot wind. No true relief. You shook a bit from the A/C since it didn't seem intense until you removed the t-shirt.
"Damn Joyce! Couldn't you turn the A/C down a bit? It seems overkill since we are playing strip poker!" He smiled and shuffled the cards before replying back to you, "It's either that or feel like you're melting. There's no in between."
"Yeah, yeah." Bumblebee giggled before nudging you with his elbow. You turned to him and he stuck out his tongue. Oh right, they could regulate their internal temperature. Lucky bastards!
Two cards: this time a ten and an ace. You were good if the flop showed another ten or quite possibly a sequential order. Crosshairs was probably going to psych you out with intimidation or something like that. You tucked a section of (h/c) behind your ear so you can concentrate on the flop only to have it come back and whop you in the face! You blew it aside and focused on the three revealed cards: a ten, seven, and nine. Not bad. Maybe a fighting chance for you but apparently not for the other Autobots.
"I fold." Hound muttered before extinguishing his cigar in a nearby ashtray. Bumblebee followed suit, whining in disappointment. Drift however just looked at the cards in his hand and the next card was flipped: a two.
"Since the fat ballerina is out of the game," You listened to Cross but you didn't want to make eye contact with him since you might accidentally reveal your hand to him, "how about two more items of clothin'?"
"Please tell me you are joking!" Drift snapped but Cross paid no mind. You looked over to Drift, "I'm going for it."
"You two are insane!" The samurai hissed folding his cards. Well it's back down to you two again. Joyce revealed the final card: an eight. Cross revealed his cards to be a ten and a five.
"A pair! Beat that!"
"Okay!" You sang innocently revealing a ten and an ace. You won by default since the ace was the highest in the deck and with a pair of tens, you came out on top.
"(F/n) is just on a roll!" Joyce laughed, slapping the table while Cross just huffed a sigh of irritation. He didn't lie to lose especially to a human girl like yourself.
Tilting your head, you teased with an Australian accent, "You doin' okay over there love?"
"I'm fine." He growled, standing from his chair and furiously unbuttoning his dress shirt and angrily throwing it off to the side before unbuttoning his pants and shoving them off to reveal black briefs. You blushed a little bit as everyone removed an article of clothing. Drift was down to his blue boxers, Hound was down to boxers too, and Bumblebee took off his shoes.
Joyce gathered the cards and reshuffled but stopped before he dealt them. He looked around the table and cleared his throat.
"Where's everyone on being eliminated from the game?"
"In all honesty, I'm roughly four clothing items away from being eliminated." You offered first.
"I'm one away from losing." Drift murmured, a red blush crossing his cheeks. For a composed samurai, apparently being naked was one of the things that broke his composure.
"Same." Cross and Hound deadpanned but Bumblebee cheered out, "Two away!"
The cards were dealt out and you giggled, "Crosshairs, want to up the bet back to two clothing items? Or do you want to just stick to one?" Bumblebee snickered while Hound and Drift had the ultimate looks of despair at the thought of being naked.
"I'll do it with you!" Bee exclaimed triumphantly, it seemed like he was confident enough to go to war with you. You stuck your tongue out at Bee and looked at your cards: a seven and a three. The flop was revealed as a king, queen, and jack.
"Oh trust me love, I'm prepared to take ya down!" Cross wiggled his eyebrows as the next card was revealed: a five. Shoot! Yeah you might be taken down this round. Hound folded with a growl, "Damn! Looks like I'm showing off my spike."
"I'll be joining you in this despicable punishment." Drift quietly hissed as he slid his cards back to Joyce. You pitied him since Drift and Hound hadn't won a round while you and Crosshairs were evenly matched. Although Bumblebee could be considered the same level as you two. Bumblebee squirmed in his chair and you looked down. With a defeated sigh, you slid your cards to Joyce but looked at Crosshairs, "Lucky for you, I had shitty cards."
The final card: a ten. Bee ecstatically threw down a queen and a jack. He was about to start dancing until Crosshairs revealed his hand to be a king and an ace.
"NO!" Bee cried as he sunk back down into his chair. Yeah Cross won and now it was down to the both of you. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as Hound and Drift threw their underwear under the table, while Bee shyly took his underwear off first before slowly removing his t-shirt. A hot blush spread across your cheeks at the thought of this punishment. You had to win the next round! You slowly stood up from your seat and took off your shirt to reveal a (c) bra and slowly removed your (c) jeans to reveal matching underwear.
You had to win the next round since you weren't so keen on showing everyone in this room your goods. You sat down, too embarrassed and determined to look at Crosshairs.
"Mmm…can't wait to see how ya look without that garb on ya." Crosshairs purred again as Joyce dealt two cards between you and Cross. Joyce looked at you directly and whispered in a low voice, "I'll help you but you need to trust me. I really don't want to see you naked." You winked at Joyce and he seemed to get the notion you were on board with him. Hopefully he knew what he was doing because the next thing you said was going to raise the stakes even higher, "I'm going all in on this round."
Bee gasped in shock, Hound looked at you like an idiot, Drift seemed shock, and fucking Crosshairs looked like a sinister snake ready to strike. You nervously peeked at your hand: two kings, a diamond and a spade. Oh boy! You noticed in your peripheral view through your strands of (h/c), Bee bobbing his head as though trying to look at your cards. With a mischievous smirk, you showed Bee your hand. You were tempted to look down but you turned your head away to save the Autobot some of his pride.
When you won, you were totally going to destroy Cross's pride. Since he could be an asshole to you, you think you could give him the same treatment.
"Ya feelin' lucky over there? Cuz' I promise your hand isn't going to go so well." You brought your cards back to you and shot Crosshairs a nasty glare, "Don't get too cocky there Cross. I am a professional improvisor."
"Whatchya gonna do? Use the cards as makeshift clothes?"
"No but they'd look nice on you since after all they're your size." Bee choked on some water while Hound and Joyce started booming with laughter. You started snickering knowing it was a bad joke and it was rude but hey if Cross does that to you, why not do it back to him? His face was just red with what you expected to be mainly embarrassment with a hint of anger.
"Savage human you are!" Drift chuckled, a grin as he lost his composure again. Bee recovered from his water endeavor and yelled, "BURN!" Crosshairs barked, "Get on with it!" He sent you an angry glare which you hope would go away soon since even though it was a petty jab, it was rude. Now you're regretting that joke.
The flop was a king of hearts, an ace, and a two. Then the next card was a three. You looked across the table and Cross was completely buried behind his cards, probably still reeling from your joke about him. Everything was tense and silent as Joyce looked at you, raising his eyebrows and a crooked smile appeared. Oh what's he going to lay down?
"Final card for the final round." He turned the card and you held your breath.
King of Clubs.
Josh gave you a four of a kind with the kings! The second highest card in the whole deck. Before you could cheer happily, you wanted to see what the hell Crosshairs had. Speaking of said man, he groaned in misery, face completely engulfed by his left hand. He slowly wiped his hand down and threw the cards out for everyone to see.
A three and a five.
"(F/n), show us your hand."
You proudly slammed down you king's. The whole room was tense and silent. You knew you won and you didn't need any noise to confirm it. Cheekily you turned to Crosshairs, "You wanted the losers to be butt ass naked. You know the rules." He glowered at you. He didn't stand up but you did see him reach down and yank off his briefs. Joyce got up and looked straight at your face (he obviously didn't want to look down at you), "Come on (f/n), let's go and give these guys some privacy."
It was the least you could do after winning. You scooped up your clothes and shoes before following Joyce out of the stark white game room. Before you walked out completely, you stopped next to Crosshairs and couldn't but look down a bit. His head was bowed so he didn't notice you were next to him until you deadpanned, "Huh, you might need more than one card to cover up."
You immediately ran straight out of the room as you heard the chair scrape against marble tile accompanied by Crosshairs' shouts of fury, a wide grin on your face as you went to duck into a bathroom that locked. Maybe you should play this game more often.