I stand at the foot of the hospital bed.. My eyes wide staring at the young girl lying in front of me. The dead young girl. The bed covers strewn about her, recently unhooked leads from the turned off machines littering the bed. The two orange sheets that were used with the defibrillator still left on her chest. And the blood from the gash across her stomach, her bruised face so pale and her eyes closed. The look of peace on her face, jarring with the chaos of the room. My hands grip the bar in front of me, and I shudder as I breathe in.

"Shit. Shit. Shit!" I yell, pushing against the bed before turning and lashing out at the defib cart sending it flying into another cart before they fall and hit the floor, silver instruments flying everywhere, and clanging against the hard floor.

I lean against the wall and slide down to sit on the cold floor. My eyes back on the bed.

"Feel better?" I don't look up at the voice. I just wipe angrily at the tears sliding down my cheeks.

"Well Newbie? Feel better?"

"Am I supposed to? Do you?" I glare at him, my voice sounding bitter and cold.

"Oh this isn't about me Miss Pissy Knickers. I'm not the one who is currently sat bawling her eyes out on the floor."

"What you expect me to just walk away?"

"We're Doctors newbie."

"And she was a kid Perry! A little girl. Raped and beaten by a fucking sick bastard and she came here. We're supposed to save people Perry. Save the good people!"

"We can't save everyone Newbie." He looks away from me.

"So I'm just meant to move on? Get over it? She was a fucking kid. She'd be fucked over enough and she was brought here. I was meant to do something. That's why we're Doctors. To save people!"

"I'm not saying just get over it. I'm saying you have to get used to it. Shit happens Newbie. You've been here long enough to realise that now. Karma doesn't work. The bad rarely end up here, the good die, the evil live on. We just do the best we can."

"Well it's looks like my best isn't good enough Doctor Cox."

"You can't expect to save everyone Angela, if you do then you're setting yourself up for a kick in the goddamn guts."

"I can't just expect everyone to die."

"But that's the mostly like conclusion."

"So you think every patient is gonna die?"

"Yes. I think every goddamn person that comes to me led in a bed like her," He yelled pointing at the girl behind him "is gonna die. And then I try my hardest to stop that from happening. And sometimes I do Newbie. Sometimes I make the play and get the 3 points. But sometimes, most times, I don't make the grade. I get called out on a foul in the last few seconds. I lose and death wins. But that doesn't make me a bad Doctor. Losing doesn't make you a bad Doctor either. For each loss we try harder on the next person and sometimes in losing one match you gain an insight that will help you save the next one. But if you want to win each game then you'll crash and burn there Michelle." Cox ranted, his voice filling the room. I stared at him before looking down at the ground between our feet.

"But she was just a kid. Who does that?"

"Sick people do that. People that aren't you Newbie. People that a fucking messed up and care less about other people than me. People that think it's fun to bash little kids up." his voice holds a weight of truth.

"How do you know that? How do you know we aren't them?"

"Because I know them Newbie. And I'd never let us become them."