Hello you wonderful people! I wrote this a while ago, got insanely frustrated with it, and never got around to posting it. But here it is now.

This is set a little while after Elena turned, circa 3x22/4x01. She's on animal blood, hasn't seen Damon since she turned, and goes to the boarding house after having a fight with Stefan. Guess who she finds instead.

PS. I've been horrible delinquent about responding to reviews and messages; been out of the country and away from the internets for a while. So thank you, thank you for all the support! I haven't forgotten you and I still love you all! You're amazing :)

Still don't own The Vampire Diaries.

Elena slowly made her way up the driveway, the gravel crunching under her heavy footfalls, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She was so tired. She'd walked the entire way to the boarding house. She knew Stefan would be mad about that, but she really didn't care. She had needed the quiet, the time to think. After their latest fight, or as he called it, their "disagreement", she wasn't ready to just forgive everything and rush back into his arms.

She was still trying to make it on animal blood, but she didn't know how much longer it would work. She felt horrible all the time, like she was slowly wasting away. The ironic thing was that Stefan had been trying to get her on blood bags for days, but after the disaster of her turning, she couldn't stomach human blood. Every time she even got a whiff, all she could think about was that dead body, throat torn out and eyes staring, and the taste of his blood on her tongue. She closed her eyes and shuddered. Never again.

So she had walked to the boarding house, giving her time to pull herself together before she made nice with Stefan. Her boyfriend. Her choice.

She was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she didn't hear the pounding base coming through the walls until she was already on the porch. She frowned slightly, glancing over towards the windows. Stefan wasn't really one for loud, boisterous music, or at least he hadn't been since coming off his Ripper binge. Her frown deepened and she slowly pushed the door open, stepping into the house and letting the sound engulf her as she made her way through the entryway to the main sitting room.

She froze just outside the room, the smell she had been trying to avoid for a week consuming her. She gasped, taking a step back before anger overwhelmed her. What the hell was Stefan doing? He had to have known she was coming over after he stormed out after their fight. She always found him eventually. Why would he have blood out?

She rounded the corner, the angry retort on her lips immediately dying as she took in the unexpected sight before her.

"Damon?" she called, shocked. She hadn't seen him in over a week, since she'd completed the transition actually. She'd asked Stefan if he had left town, but he had said no. Damon was just avoiding her, and she'd had too much going on to really track him down and ask what the hell was going on.

She'd found him now, however. He was sprawled across the leather couch with two blond bimbos on either side of him, all three of them barely dressed. One was idly playing with one of his hands, looking over at Elena with an uninterested expression, and Damon was slumped against the other one, his face buried in her hair either whispering in her ear or doing… other things.

The anger that had so suddenly slipped away at the sight of him reared its ugly head. She was halfway across the room before she stopped herself, her arms wrapped tightly across her chest as she repeated the litany of control that she'd lived by since turning.

"Well, you're not supposed to be here."

Damon's cool drawl pulled her from her inner turmoil. He had sat up, making a lazy move to wipe a smear of blood from his lips, as he grabbed a remote and turned off the music. She almost missed the flash of dismay and surprise that flitted across his features. Almost.

"Where have you been, Damon?" she asked, her voice coming out in a mixture of anger and vulnerability that she hated.

He shrugged and stood, drawing moans of protest from both of the women. "Where's Stefan?" he asked coldly, his gaze flicking over her quickly before he pointedly looked away.

She looked between him and the girls on the couch, acutely away of the smell of blood coming from them both. "I thought he'd be here." She looked back at him, squaring her shoulders. "Where have you been? How could you just… disappear after all that happened?"

"Well, he's not here," he replied, completely ignoring her questions. He glanced back at her and all she could see in his eyes was cold indifference. "Off you go then." He waved her towards the door. "No reason to stick around."

Elena stared at him with growing trepidation. She knew she had hurt him, knew that when she finally saw him again it wouldn't be pleasant. But this was not what she had expected. He was acting like he didn't care at all. "I'm not leaving till I find out what's going on with you, Damon."

"Does she have to be here, Damon?" one of the girls whined, coming up behind him and giving her a death glare. "We were having way more fun before she showed up."

Elena snapped. She had the girl pinned back on the couch, her fangs out, before she suddenly found herself flying through the air and slamming into a wall. She gasped, coughing slightly, and looked up in shock, finding Damon stalking towards her, his expression wild.

"What the hell, Elena?" he growled, pulling her roughly to her feet.

"So that's it then?" she yelled back, knocking his hands away. "After all we've been through, you're just back to draining every random person you come across. How could you do this?"

His eyes narrowed. "Why do you care, Elena? You let me go, remember? I can do whatever the hell I want because I don't have to answer to your ridiculous moral code. Sorry I'm not letting myself rot away on animal blood like you are. Enjoy an eternity of epic brooding. I'm sure you and Stefan will be ecstatic together." He stepped back. "Just leave me the hell out of it."

Elena flushed angrily. "You have no idea what it's been like for me. I killed someone, Damon! And you just left! I might have let you go, but I didn't want to cut you out of my life!"

"Yes, I have no idea what you're going through," he deadpanned. "And what did you think you were doing when you chose Stefan, Elena, if not cutting me out? I've done what you asked me. I've kept my distance. Why don't you do the same?"

He turned away again, and she flashed in front of him. "No. You don't get to take the easy way out of this."

His eyes turned murderous. "You think this is easy? Fuck, Elena, sometimes I wonder if you know me at all."

She flinched slightly at that one, knowing tears were going to be quick to follow. "I didn't come here to fight, Damon," she said in a quiet voice.

"You didn't come here to see me at all, and we've already established that Stefan isn't around."

"I don't care about Stefan," she snapped. "We need to talk."

Damon snorted. "As you can see, I'm kinda busy." He waved over at the two girls watching them from the couch.

Elena glanced over at them, feeling another wave of need and hunger and jealousy. "I'm sure you've compelled them. They can wait ten more minutes."

"Good to know you think we can clear the air between us in a quick ten." He crossed his arms and faced her. "So, Elena, tell me," he said in a sickly sweet tone, "how's the Bambi blood been working out?" His gaze swept over her. "You look… famished."

She bristled, crossing her own arms. "That's none of your business."

"Tsk, tsk." He waved a finger at her mockingly. "If you wanna talk, let's talk, no beating around the proverbial bush." His eyes hardened. "You're starving yourself."

"It's just taking some time to adjust," she said defensively. She'd already started having doubts about her diet, she just didn't really want to start taking them seriously.

"Is that what Stefan's been telling you?"

She shook her head. "I have to make this work."

"Why, Elena?" he demanded. "Because you killed that guy?" She nodded and started to say something, but he cut her off. "Who fucking cares? He was a threat to every person you care about. If you hadn't have done it, I would have, or Stefan, or Caroline. And later on down the line, you would have slipped up and killed someone else. It was an inevitability, Elena. We've all been there. Stop fucking martyring yourself. Otherwise, what the hell was the point of turning at all?"

"That's not who I am, Damon." Her voice had a slight tremor to it that she tried desperately to control and failed. "I have to be me. Otherwise, what am I?"

His gaze finally softened slightly. "You're a vampire. You're Elena 2.0, the new and improved, less breakable version. You still care too damn much. Why else would this be bothering you?" He shook his head, a small sigh escaping his lips. "You can't figure out how to do all this when you're constantly fighting what you are."

"What do you mean?"

He took a step towards her then stopped himself, glancing back over at the couch. "You need to ditch the bunnies, Elena, unless you plan on slipping up and killing someone else, in which case, please continue."

She paled. "No. I can't."

He frowned. "You can. You just don't want to."

"No."

He threw up his hands. "Fine. Fuck it. Don't listen to me." He turned away again.

Elena reached out and grabbed his arm. "Wait! We're not done."

"Yes, we are. I told you what you need to do. I told you why you haven't seen me. What else is there, Elena?"

She stared at him. She didn't know. She'd let him go.

Damon nodded. "That's what I thought."

"Is there any other way?" she asked abruptly, unable to watch him walk away again.

"Any other way to what, exactly?"

She swallowed hard, glancing over at the girls. "Survive." She looked back to find him staring at her silently as she fidgeted in front of him. "It's just that Stefan… He told me about Mikael and his, um, eating habits," she finished quietly, her gaze dropping.

The silence seemed to draw out for an eternity before Damon's quick, bitter laugh filled the air. Elena stiffened, her eyes flashing to his angrily. "This isn't a joke, Damon!"

He shook his head, his expression anything but amused as he looked over at the girls. "You two, time to go."

One of them stood, an angry pout on her face. "But, Damon—"

"I said get the fuck out!" he growled, his fists clenched as his gaze slid back to Elena. The two girls skittered from the room quickly, grabbing scraps of clothing as they went.

Elena's nearly non-beating heart had picked up to an almost normal pace. When she heard the door close she jumped, cursing herself for an idiot and taking an unsure step backwards away from him.

"Nah ah ah," Damon cooed, taking two steps till he was invading her personal space. "You aren't going anywhere now. Not yet anyway."

"I was just asking, Damon. I didn't mean we should try anything right now."

His blue eyes narrowed. "So when would you like to try? After you kill someone else because you can't control the hunger? Hurry up and make up your mind. I can still get the Tri Delts back in here before they leave."

She bit her lip, gnawing at it nervously as she weighed her options. They weren't many. She frowned slightly, and looked up, trying firmly to set her resolve. "How do you want to do this?"

Damon's eyes glinted with something she couldn't place. "I'm open to suggestion," he said in a low voice, opening his hands in invitation.

She swallowed hard again, her mouth suddenly dry and her gums already aching at the thought of sinking her teeth into flesh. Her eyes drifted over his bare torso as if of their own accord before fixing firmly on his throat. She took a quick step forward before she could stop herself, their bodies so close she could feel his body heat through her thin layer of clothes.

"What are you waiting for?" Damon asked, his voice a low rasp as he stood completely unmoving before her.

Elena drew in a shuddering breath, overwhelmed by the scent of him. "Are you sure about this?" she asked in barely a whisper, her hands itching to touch, to grab, to possess.

"Fuck no, but that's never stopped me before." When she tensed up even more, he sighed. "Just fucking bite me, Elena. What's the worst that could happen?"

She closed her eyes, letting her other senses drown in him. "So much," she breathed, and moved forward, her lips ghosting over his skin. He shuddered beneath her, and she felt the tell tale tingle beneath her eyes and the quick pain as her fangs came out to play.

She felt his breath on her own neck, and she couldn't hold herself back anymore. She closed her mouth over him, her tongue tasting his skin as her fangs sank into the tender flesh. Her mouth was instantly flooded with hot, pulsing blood. She groaned, her arms sliding around him, one slipping into his feather fine hair and the other clawing at the bare skin of his back.

"Elena," he gasped against her, his own breath heavy against her shoulder as he leaned into her, his own hand fisting in her hair, holding her in place.

She couldn't get enough. The experience was completely different from anything she'd yet experienced. The only time she'd fed on a human had been so frenzied, she hardly remembered anything beside the overwhelming want and need that had possessed her, and killing animals had just been horrible on every level. But this… She knew she was in trouble.

She swallowed another mouthful of Damon's intoxicating blood and knew she would never, ever get enough. His blood was like candy. She could tell it wouldn't completely sustain her, but God, she didn't care. He was like light and honey and bittersweet longing all wrapped into one irresistible package that was just Damon. It flooded every atom of her body till she was singing with it, able to feel him everywhere at once, but still not as close as she needed him to be.

He made a small noise and she paused, blinking as she suddenly realized they were both pressed together on the floor, Damon nearly limp underneath her straining form. She pulled back as cold fear doused her in reality, her hands finding his face, turning him to look at her.

"You make one hell of a vampire, Elena," he said softly, a lazy smile curving his lips.

She stared at him speechless for a long moment before she exploded. "Are you alright? You should have stopped me—"

"Why?" he interrupted, sitting up abruptly, knocking her off balance so she was basically sitting in his lap, straddling him. "I'm upset you stopped."

"You're okay?"

"I'm fine, Elena." He looked at her closely, his head cocked slightly to the side. "Are you?"

She gazed into his eyes, overwhelming emotion flooding through her. She shook her head and stood abruptly, needing to put some space between them before she combusted. "I don't know." Damon stood silently with her, his mask slowly starting to slip back into place as she watched. "But I think… I need your help, Damon."

"I know."

A lump formed in her throat and she tried to force it down. She reached up and touched his cheek lightly. "I'm so sorry."

His eyes closed briefly before he pulled out of her reach. "I know."

She started to say more, but she couldn't force out any words. Whatever had just happened between them was still too fresh, too much for her to process. And she was still so very confused.

Damon sighed again, a small half smile of understanding playing on his lips. "Go home. Sleep. We'll start on whatever this is tomorrow."

Elena nodded, giving him a halfhearted attempt at a smile back and failing miserably.

Damon just rolled his eyes.

Elena felt a genuine smile form at his typical antics. Damon was back to being Damon, the one she could always trust and rely on. She felt a weight lift from her shoulders, and for the first time since she became a vampire, she felt that she was actually at the start of something, not the tragic end.

Thanks for reading!

Title's from the song Lies by Marina and the Diamonds. Mildly in love with her right now. The song doesn't totally fit, or at all, but parts kinda do, and I thought the mood fit. Anyway, thanks again for reading. Love to hear what you think.