Snow White, Naruto style
By: honeydew-chan
Prologue
Once upon a time, in a far away land named Konoha, there lived a King and a Queen. Konoha was a prosperous and well-known country. Its beauty reached the ears of many from other sacred lands. The people in Konoha lived peacefully and happily because the King was a great ruler and the Queen, a supportive one. Everyone thought the King and the Queen were the happiest of people for they had everything a person ever wanted.
They were wrong.
The King and Queen were far from happy. They did not want wealth. They never wanted power nor did they want land. Both of them only wanted a child… It was impossible you see, for the Queen was not able to conceive and nothing could change that fact. That was what they thought.
One winter night, as the Queen was sewing beside an opened window, 'she' accidentally prickled 'her' pinky. A drop of ruby-red blood soaked into the stark white that was snow. It was so beautiful she had to make a wish. 'Her' masterpiece tossed uncaringly in the general direction of the carpeted floor, landing on a heap alongside with other babies' clothing made of silk and cotton.
"O mighty Lord above, I wish for nothing more than a child. No longer I care if You grant me a brainless ass or a distorted face, I just want to have a child of my own", the Queen wished silently. A sigh escaped from 'her' lips.
The Queen was too disrupted to notice quiet footsteps coming 'her' way. A single drop of crystal-clear tear rolled down 'her' cheek; 'her' voice suddenly hoarse.
"I care no more if You are to take away my lif--"
The Queen's sentence was never completed when a calloused hand covered the Queen's lips; the other hand snaked at 'her' waist. The Queen went rigid for a moment and then relaxed when 'she' realised who the stranger was.
"Hush, my Queen, what you said really, really broke my heart", the stranger said from behind. Time stopped at the moment when a rush of wind grazed at their skin; ruffling both their hair; sending shivers running down their spines.
"That's it, Kakashi! I can't stand it anymore! It's too mushy." The Queen snapped after 'she' removed Kakashi's hands from 'her' body. 'She' strolled angrily to a nearby couch and slumped down ungraciously beside the fireplace, 'her' face as red as a tomato, if not redder.
"Maa, maa… It's not that bad ne, Iruka-chan, we were doing just fine", Kakashi said through his trademark mask. He took out a small, red book from within his cloak and flipped until he reached a marking.
The Queen (also known as Iruka) stared at Kakashi (the said-king) with big wide eyes. 'She' could not, would not believe it, 'her' husband, one the most promising kings in the world, one that was bound to do great things was by far, a pervert!
"Please, Kakashi, throw that filthy thing away. It is nothing more than an eyesore!" spat the Queen icily. 'She' hated that book, written nonetheless, by one of the King's advisors, Lord Jiraiya. He was a great writer, that, the Queen did not deny, however, what he wrote…. Sigh…It was nothing to be proud of at all. Not to mention, the book titled "Icha Icha Kodomo" was the bestseller of the year. Yes, sold to each and every single man on earth.
Perverts. Man's true nature.
Well, that's for most men actually, there were some who were quite decent too. For example, the Queen, Umino Iruka, a gentleman who devoted his life solely to the King; who loved him for whom he was, even though the King was a pervert. Thus, the reason he could not conceive. Sadly, that was a fact they could not change.
"But Iruka, look here! It stated that if we follow the instructions properly, we will have a child of our own" Kakashi said excitedly, pointing at a highlighted paragraph with his index finger. "We will have a child of our own, he will rule this kingdom after me and live happily, with us" the King voiced softly and turned to look at the Queen lovingly.
"We will" he repeated, his statement sounding more like a question; his character losing his usual confidence.
The Queen smiled forlornly and although he had lost hope long before, he whispered, "We will"
"But, seriously, King, what you just read is a perverted version of Snow White, a fairytale! It is not real, so are the rest of the stories!" Iruka quickly added as Kakashi flipped through the other pages. The King looked as dejected as ever.
Snow melted and it was time for spring again. The weather was beautiful, trees and flowers bloomed in canopies, and animals which had been hibernating during winter could be seen in the forests, searching for food. In the capital, the people began their daily lives, selling their products to merchants and folks.
Now, in Konoha, besides the King and the Queen, the land was managed by three advisors. Advisor No. 1 was none other than Lord Jiraiya, the famous novelist of the "Icha Icha series", No. 2 was Lady Tsunade, a former doctor who still practiced the art of healing and No. 3, Lord Orochimaru, a queer but genius. All three of them were equally powerful, influential and well respected by the people.
They knew the King and Queen were desperate in having an heir, and so, the three of them tried to help in their own ways. Advisor No. 1, being the pervert, wrote a book to ease the King's pain. Foolish, yet the King tried. And failed obviously.
Lady Tsunade decided to join forces with Lord Orochimaru by combining their ingenious ideas and doing experiments. After many failures, finally, they found a solution.
Quick footsteps could be heard racing through the corridors. In the throne room, the flute played in arrival of Lady Tsunade and Lord Orochimaru. True enough, the door opened to reveal them. Both of them panting and taking deep gulps of air.
"Why the hurry, advisors? ", asked the King, puzzled.
"Your majesty, we have found a solution! The Queen may now conceive!" Lady Tsunade said, still panting slightly. The Queen stared at them, nervousness overtook him, and his heart beat quickened. He half believed in their words, but years of experience taught him not to be too trusting. The King and Queen had endured moments of disappointment lots of time.
"If both of you are making fools out of us, I swear in the name of God, I will terminate your lives" the King said coolly.
Without hesitation, Lord Orochimaru replied in his slithery voice, "Believe in us, your Majesty".
"It's pretty simple actually. First of all, we will need an ovum from a lady. Extract the nucleus and add in the Queen's nucleus from his sperm. After the condition of the ovum stabilises, the ovum will be fertilized by the King's sperm…"
"Wait… wait… You are saying…. Wait… this is wrong. That means chromosomes XY… wait… this is confusing! There will be a possibility of having a baby with both chromosomes YY! Is that even possible?? "The King asked in confusion.
"That is the risk you have to take, your majesty, even I, the ingenious Lord Orochimaru had no idea what will happen, and by the way, Lady Tsunade agreed to mother your child."
"Ah, yea…" the King replied, his voice filled with uncertainty.
Evil laughter echoed deep in the dark chambers beneath the castle. A lone person was standing at a counter where a line of test tubes and potions were placed orderly. He held a test tube in hand, slowly and gently stirring its contents near a fire. The orange liquid emitted a strong odour and bubbled when it was heated. Finally, it turned into a charcoal black substance.
"Soon, King, you will be mine. Mine. MINE!!! Muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!" the person laughed wickedly, his mind plotting vicious plans on taking over the Queen's place.
"Now that everything is in place, I just have to wait for the result, Umino Iruka, you filthy b#$#, you think you can own the King, huh? We'll see, I will not lose to you; I will not lose to you… Finally, my chance is here, it's my turn…" mumbled the person to no one in particular, a smirk still in place.