These letters were written just after Alexis and Sonny agreed he would go back to Carly after she turned up alive at her own funeral. Your responses are important and welcome. Thank you.

One Final Letter

Closing the door behind him Sonny sat down at his desk and stared at the letter that was hand delivered only moments before. He recognized the handwriting across the face of the envelope immediately. Why would she be writing him? Turning the letter over he tore open the flap and pulled the letter from within. Opening it, he began to read.

Dear Sonny,

By the time you receive this letter I will have already left Port Charles. I can hardly believe it myself, but this time, I am taking the easy way out. There is just too much hurt and disillusionment remaining to make the possibility of my staying in Port Charles an option. Please, don't misunderstand me, Sonny. I hold myself just as responsible for the way things have turned out as I do you.

You and I, we built something very special between us, didn't we? Why did we have to go and wreck it the way we did? I would have stayed true to you for a lifetime had we just remained friends. But, we crossed the line. I once told you that I held no regrets regarding the night we spent together. But, in fact that is no longer true. The one regret I have for stepping beyond that boundary is that I have lost my one true friend. My best friend. I miss my friend. There have been so many times over the past few months that I would have given anything to be able to just walk across the hall and sit down with my friend and talk.

It wasn't possible though. As much as I needed you, I couldn't continue to subject myself to the abuse you allowed your wife to perpetrate against me. When did you decide that it was acceptable for me to become your wife's personal punching bag? Surely you weren't so blinded that you couldn't see what was happening right in front of you. I think what hurt the most was that you actually did know and didn't care enough to stop it.

We both changed. And just as I missed my friend, I know he missed me too. You began to make dangerous decisions, life altering decisions; decisions that will eventually send you to prison. Sonny, I cannot stand by and watch you destroy your life any longer.

I knew that my first lie to you would take away any hope that remained of a possible reconciliation. But, it couldn't be helped. There was someone I now needed to protect, just as you felt the need to protect Michael from AJ time and again. I suddenly found that the man I came to care so deeply for disappeared and I did not recognize the man who replaced him. I could no longer trust that you wouldn't hurt my child or me. What you did to Zander finally opened my eyes. I know what he did to you and I also know that had it been anyone else... Suffice it to say, I'm not sure if even I could have made that murder charge disappear and quite frankly I'm not sure I would have wanted to.

Yes, Sonny, you broke my heart. But, not because of the reasons you might think. There was so much potential for good in you. There is a sense of honor in you that has been buried again. Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, the potential is still there. It is not lost. But, you have to want to be more than you are. I think you have allowed yourself to believe that you do not deserve any more than what you have right now. My friend, that is simply not true. You deserve a happy life. You deserve a wife who will respect you and love you enough to look for ways to lift you higher than you thought possible. You deserve the chance to become the man your mother saw in you. I caught a glimpse of that man. He was my friend. He was my lover. Do you remember him, Sonny? Is that who you want to be? If you do, fight for him. Look deep within yourself, he is there... waiting to be freed.

Kristina was right, Sonny. I did fall in love with you or rather the man you were before 'she' came back. I will always remember the man I fell in love with. He was the light in my life. He was a man I was proud of. I leaned on his strength and shared my soul with him. He was the man I wanted to share my child with. But, he is lost to me now and the man who replaced him is too dangerous for me to allow access to the child we created together. So, I am leaving and I am taking the best part of you with me.

My only remaining request of you is to please... remember the man I fell in love with. Find him, Sonny. He will show you the way out of the chaos you have made of your life. I love you and will remain

Forever yours,

Alexis

Leaning back in his chair Sonny bowed his head and closed his eyes. It was there in the cinema of his mind that he saw her face. Her beautiful, graceful face. A small tender smile touched his lips as he laid her letter against his heart.

"I will find you Alexis. I promise you, our child and myself; I will find you and bring you both home. I remember him, Alexis. He was the best part of me and it was you who found him and breathed life into him. Wait for me, Alexis. Wait for me."