okay, here's the deal. Usually I'm okay with flames. They're fun to laugh
at. But this time please don;t flame me. This is about a very personal
subject and I would greatly appreciate it if yiou kept mean comments to
yourselves.
Disclaimer: Not mine. The information about Cardiomyopathia is all true. I also no very little about Wisconsin, so don't hurt me or anything if I get something wrong
WARNING: This may not be easy to read, especially for people who have lost a loved one, especially for people who have lost a loved one at a young age, especially if they died fromt this disease. READ WITH CAUTION.
I don't believe it. I simply don't believe it. How could he be dead? He's only 15.
I stare at the phone in my hand. Maybe if I ignor eit for long enough it will go away, it will be like it never happened.
"Donna!" Josh yells from his office, but I can barely hear him. It's all background noise. All I can hear is my sister's voice over and over in my head. "Oh, god, Donna, he had a heart attack during football practice. He died."
How can that be? He's only 15. 15 year olds aren't supposed to have heart attacks, they're supposed to be dating and going to parties. They aren't supposed to have bad hearts. They shouldn't have to worry about that.
I don't even relise that Josh is standing in front of me until He's shaking me gently by the shoulders. I look up at him. He has a very concerned look on his face. "Donna, what's wrong."
That's all it takes. I hadn't cried when I heard, but Josh asking me about it sends me into a fit of sobs. Josh puts his arm around mt shoulders and leads me into his office. He puts me in a chair and kneels in front of me. "Donna, what is it? Is it girl problems? Do I need to get CJ?"
I'm crying so hard I can't talk, so he gets up and goes to CJ's office. CJ comes in and kneels in front of me. "Donna, what's wrong?" she asks me gently.
I calm down enough t tell her what happened. "My nephew was at football practice and he had a heart attack and he's dead."
"Oh Donna..." Josh says and I begin to sob again. CJ envleopes me in a hug and Josh comes over and begins to stroke my hair. "How?" he asks.
"His heart," I say between sobs, "was to large and strong to pump any blood."
CJ lets go of me, whispers something to Josh and leaves the office. Josh puts his arms around me and holds me tightly. I feel safe in his arms. He doesn't say anything. He knows not to.
CJ walks into the office with my things. "I'm taking you home," Josh whispers into my ear. I'm to tired to put up a fight, so I nod mutely. Josh helps me put my coat on and takes me out to his car. I wipe at my eyes. "Josh, I can drive myself."
He shakes his head. "No, I'm taking you home."
He opens my door and I get into the car. We drive in silence for several minutes until Josh says. "When's the funeral."
I shake my had adamently. "No, I'm not going."
"Why?"
"I'm not good with funerals. I don't think it'll do me any good."
"Donna, you are going to that funeral. I know you don't think it will help, but it really will."
"Josh, I really don't want to go. I'd rather just stay here and distract myself with work."
"That will only make it worse. Look, I'll even go with you."
I look at him with an expression that says I don't want to argue. "You are not going, and I am not going."
"Donna, you may not thik it'll help now, but if you don't go you'll regret it and it will eat you up inside."
He's probably right. He's gone to enough funerals in his life to know. "Fine," I say reluctanly. "But you aren't going."
"I am. I want to make sure your okay."
My eyes fill with tears. "That's sweet, but you don;t have to."
"I want to."
I give in. "Thank you."
We pull up outside of my apartment and we get out of the car. It got dark while we were driving. He puts his arm around me as we walk up to my apartment. "You tired?" he asks me. I nod as I unlock the door. "I'll sleep on the couch," he says.
I spin around to face him. "No. Josh, really. You don't have to stay with me."
"Donna, I'm staying." I look at his face and see a silent pleading in his eyes. I get it. He thinks I'm going to try to hurt myself
"Josh, I wouldn't"
He nods. "I know, but I just want to make sure"
I take his hand. "it's okay. I want you to stay anyway. But you don't have to sleep on the couch. We're responsible adults, we can handle it."
"Famous last words," Josh mutters.
"Josh, please," I say. "I just really need someone to hold me tonight."
"okay."
He puts his arms aronud me and pulls me close to him as we walk towards the bedroom.
TBC (maybe)
Disclaimer: Not mine. The information about Cardiomyopathia is all true. I also no very little about Wisconsin, so don't hurt me or anything if I get something wrong
WARNING: This may not be easy to read, especially for people who have lost a loved one, especially for people who have lost a loved one at a young age, especially if they died fromt this disease. READ WITH CAUTION.
I don't believe it. I simply don't believe it. How could he be dead? He's only 15.
I stare at the phone in my hand. Maybe if I ignor eit for long enough it will go away, it will be like it never happened.
"Donna!" Josh yells from his office, but I can barely hear him. It's all background noise. All I can hear is my sister's voice over and over in my head. "Oh, god, Donna, he had a heart attack during football practice. He died."
How can that be? He's only 15. 15 year olds aren't supposed to have heart attacks, they're supposed to be dating and going to parties. They aren't supposed to have bad hearts. They shouldn't have to worry about that.
I don't even relise that Josh is standing in front of me until He's shaking me gently by the shoulders. I look up at him. He has a very concerned look on his face. "Donna, what's wrong."
That's all it takes. I hadn't cried when I heard, but Josh asking me about it sends me into a fit of sobs. Josh puts his arm around mt shoulders and leads me into his office. He puts me in a chair and kneels in front of me. "Donna, what is it? Is it girl problems? Do I need to get CJ?"
I'm crying so hard I can't talk, so he gets up and goes to CJ's office. CJ comes in and kneels in front of me. "Donna, what's wrong?" she asks me gently.
I calm down enough t tell her what happened. "My nephew was at football practice and he had a heart attack and he's dead."
"Oh Donna..." Josh says and I begin to sob again. CJ envleopes me in a hug and Josh comes over and begins to stroke my hair. "How?" he asks.
"His heart," I say between sobs, "was to large and strong to pump any blood."
CJ lets go of me, whispers something to Josh and leaves the office. Josh puts his arms around me and holds me tightly. I feel safe in his arms. He doesn't say anything. He knows not to.
CJ walks into the office with my things. "I'm taking you home," Josh whispers into my ear. I'm to tired to put up a fight, so I nod mutely. Josh helps me put my coat on and takes me out to his car. I wipe at my eyes. "Josh, I can drive myself."
He shakes his head. "No, I'm taking you home."
He opens my door and I get into the car. We drive in silence for several minutes until Josh says. "When's the funeral."
I shake my had adamently. "No, I'm not going."
"Why?"
"I'm not good with funerals. I don't think it'll do me any good."
"Donna, you are going to that funeral. I know you don't think it will help, but it really will."
"Josh, I really don't want to go. I'd rather just stay here and distract myself with work."
"That will only make it worse. Look, I'll even go with you."
I look at him with an expression that says I don't want to argue. "You are not going, and I am not going."
"Donna, you may not thik it'll help now, but if you don't go you'll regret it and it will eat you up inside."
He's probably right. He's gone to enough funerals in his life to know. "Fine," I say reluctanly. "But you aren't going."
"I am. I want to make sure your okay."
My eyes fill with tears. "That's sweet, but you don;t have to."
"I want to."
I give in. "Thank you."
We pull up outside of my apartment and we get out of the car. It got dark while we were driving. He puts his arm around me as we walk up to my apartment. "You tired?" he asks me. I nod as I unlock the door. "I'll sleep on the couch," he says.
I spin around to face him. "No. Josh, really. You don't have to stay with me."
"Donna, I'm staying." I look at his face and see a silent pleading in his eyes. I get it. He thinks I'm going to try to hurt myself
"Josh, I wouldn't"
He nods. "I know, but I just want to make sure"
I take his hand. "it's okay. I want you to stay anyway. But you don't have to sleep on the couch. We're responsible adults, we can handle it."
"Famous last words," Josh mutters.
"Josh, please," I say. "I just really need someone to hold me tonight."
"okay."
He puts his arms aronud me and pulls me close to him as we walk towards the bedroom.
TBC (maybe)