"What the fuck."
Morgan looked up from his paperwork, smiling at Spencer.
"No, don't even smile, I - I can't even look at you I mean - I'm so mad. Just, No." he said, sporting an adorable pout.
Morgan got up from his seat in the jet, and walked over to Reid's. He pressed his knees against the young man's, and leaned over him, still smiling.
"Morgan what the hell? I mean fine, we declared war. But you don't screw with my fucking books. I mean, I'm going to kill you. I'm not even kidding, I'm going to fucking bury you alive." Reid stared Morgan in the eyes, getting even more pissed when he didn't even flinch.
"C'mon Reid, you're the smartest man I know, and yet you believed you had won the prank war with your silly little screaming stunt? Come at me babe. I'm ready." Morgan puckered his lips and blew a kiss to Reid before sitting back in his seat.
"Okay. Fine. You want to go there? Alright... But you don't screw with a genius without getting burned, Derek... Just wait. I'll get you... I'll bury you..." Reid mumbled, falling into his rambling habit, only this time, under his breath.
Derek just smirked and re-read the profile of the murderer. He couldn't wait for his weekend off work tomorrow.
4:57 am, Saturday
BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP.
Derek threw himself out of bed in surprise. He sat up on the floor and rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands. He slowly pulled himself up and walked over to switch off the alarm. On instinct, after doing so, he reached over to his drawer for clothes and pulled out some...Files?
"What the hell...?" Morgan muttered. He rubbed his eyes once again and looked around. Was it cloudy outside? The room was looking particularly grey. And since when did he have carpets on his floors... "What the hell?" He said again. He shook his head, and finally realized where he was. The BAU.
"Fuck. Reid, I swear to god, if you did this..." Oh hell, who was he kidding? His bed was in the middle of the bullpen, on his time off, at 5:00 in the morning, on Saturday. Of course it was fucking Reid.
Morgan shook the sleep out of his head and said to the empty office, "C'mon, pretty boy? Is that all you've got? Bring it on." He smiled, pleased with himself. He knew exactly what he was going to do for revenge... Suddenly, a voice interrupted his thoughts.
"You know, the velocity of the prank hasn't been reached quite yet."
Derek spun around to find none other than Spencer Reid standing behind him, looking just a bit too satisfied.
"Oh yeah genius? Well what else is there too come?" Reid's grin broadened.
"Well," He said. "For one, you're currently stark naked." Spencer paused to let this sink in, making sure not to look any lower than the older FBI agent's shoulders and he frantically realized that he was indeed, completely exposed. "Reid laughed a little as he grabbed the bed sheets and made a make-do toga style attire. "And second," Reid continued, "That was all caught on camera, and is currently being mailed to every fan you ever had. Ever."
Morgan put on his best I'm-actually-freaking-out-but-trying-my-best-not-to-show-it smile, and said "You're bluffing. You wouldn't-" But Morgan was cut off by his cellphone. Reid plucked it off his desk and handed it to Derek. "It's for you." He said curtly, smiling.
"Hello?" Morgan said into the receiver.
"O. M. G. It's YOOUUUU! I can not believe you stripped down just for me, holycrap. HOLLEE CRAP. I'm dying right you do not even-"
Morgan was sure she would've had more to say if he hadn't hung up on her.
"Reid... You just crossed a huge line."
"Pfft, you crossed a line when you stole my frickin' books!"
"Well at least it didn't involve porn! I could get suspended! Or worse! What if Hotch finds out?"
"Well maybe you should've thought of that before you stole my books!"
Both men were extremely riled up and had advanced to a point where they were so close, they could feel the sweat radiating off each other.
Morgan shook his head, and sat down on the bed. He rubbed his eyes hard.
Finally, Reid gave in. Maybe he had overreacted a little. He blew out a breath of air, long and slow.
"Alright. Okay. Look. I got Garcia to set up the video file so that it was retractable from who ever it got sent to. If you tell me where you managed to store my 3556 books, I'll get her to take all the emails back and delete the file. Deal?"
Morgan looked up. "Will you cut up the camera film and never speak of this again?"
Reid's mouth twitched into a smile. "Yeah, I guess I could."
"Okay then." Derek poked Spencer in the stomach. "You got a deal. Don't go stabbing me in the back with this though. I'm trusting you to hold up your end of things here." Reid smiled and sat on the bed.
"Your books are in the parking garage below your apartment. East wing, level three."
"The younger agent furrowed his brow. No they aren't, I checked there last night. I checked the whole building." He said.
Morgan just laughed at Reid. "That's because I've been moving them." He said. "Last night they were at my house."
Morgan burst out laughing. The look of surprise on Reid's face was just to cute. "See?" He said between laughs. "I told you, I would go to great means to win this war."
Reid couldn't help it. He giggled along with his co-worker. "Alright Derek, the war is over. Now go catch up on some sleep."
Morgan beamed at his co-worker. "Alright, kid. Bye. Oh yeah, And by the way."
Reid looked at Derek, who was almost out the door.
He almost giggled when saying "Nice haircut." Then he jogged out the door to his car. Reid watched the door close, befuddled by the comment. He reached up to run his fingers through his hair, but all the found was skin. A smooth, bald head.
"MORGAN!"
END
