Disclaimer: I forgot this on my last story....Double Disclaimer : If I owned anything I would not be writing FANfiction.
AN- OMG! That OMG is for three main reasons... 1) I got a couple reviews to my new story Loch Nessie Monster. (Go read it!!) 2) I am updating really, really fast.
3) I only have ** days left of school... Yay me! I have one more thing to tell you guys..... Go vote on my pole. My next, funny story needs that pole to be successful!
For those of you who have read this list before, I changed the order so the chapters would be a little better together. I'll give the things on the list I'll do during the chapter in the authors note so it's a little bit easier. Sorry about the long note!
I would like to thank my best friend Erin (578) for helping me with ideas for this story and being my beta!
Read, Review, Go to my other stories, Repeat. Enjoy!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five-minute intervals.
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him or her, in an official tone, "Code three in Womens"...and see what happens.
3. Move a "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
4. Dart around suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
5. Hide in a clothing rack, and when people browse though, say "PICK ME!"
Chapter One: General Chaos
EMPOV
I was bored; Very bored. Edward, Bella, and Jasper were hunting. I was playing with the Wii when Alice walked in.
"Watcha doing?" She chimed
"Playing Wii," I replied, mimicking her singsong tone "Why?"
"I'm bored."
"I thought Edward was the mind reader." I laughed at my own, way lame, joke
"Very funny, I can't read minds, but I can see the future. So, I know you'll say yes to my plan." She turned off the Wii
"What's your plan?" I asked, anything was better than sitting there, playing a Wii game I could finish with my eyes closed
"I found this online." She showed me a list. It was titled '15 Things to do When You're at Walmart'. I read it over, chuckling. This would be fun.
"Sure, I'll go." I smiled, and she gave me an evil grin
We got in Alice's Porsche and sped to Walmart, it was pretty close to our house. When we got there we got out of the car and walked in the store, still smiling. Alice looked at the list.
"First we set all the alarm clocks to go off every five minutes. You can do that." Alice had memorized the list and recited what to do
"Got it," We walked to the "Housewares" section and waited for the aisle to clear. Once it did, I ran around and set all the alarms. I also put them at the highest volume. It was loud, and crazy.
"OH MY GOD, WHAT'S HAPPENING?"
"The alarms are going crazy!"
"Somebody get an employee!"
Alice and I were just laughing as a bunch of people ran over towards us. A manager came over.
"Everybody calm down! We will fix this, until then, please avoid this section of the store." She looked at us and we tried to stop laughing in time "Do you know what happened here?"
"No." I replied
"Then leave." She snapped. Somebody pulled some power strip and they all shut up. We left, laughing as we went.
"Hey did you see that manager's name?" Alice asked me
"No. Why?" I asked
"I have a feeling we're going to see here again." Alice giggled. Number One: Check.
"Alice, you need to do the next one. It might seem weird if I knew there was a "Code Three" in Womens. I'm a guy so... yeah."
"Great wording," She laughed "I need to get one of their vests so they'll take me seriously."
She snuck into an employee lounge and nabbed a vest. Then she walked over to the service desk.
"Code three in Womens." She said, with a dead straight face. It was all I could do not to laugh.
"Seriously?" The lady at the desk asked
"Yes, it's true." Alice nodded, solemnly
The lady ran over to a microphone "Attention, costumers of Walmart, please stay out of the Womens department until further notice, there is a wild animal in the store. Thank you and have a nice day."
Alice and I cracked up. The store went into chaos, again. Our favorite manager came running. She started shouting.
"Why did you do that?! I was just in Womens and there is nothing there! Who told you that?"
"They did." She pointed at us, behind our managers back. We ran before she could see us.
"Did you get her name?" I asked
"No," She said, sadly, as a crazed customer ran past us, screaming "I better go put this vest back."
She snuck back in the lounge and came out grinning.
"What's up?" I asked, the grin was a little creepy
"There was a bored saying all the on-duty managers. They were all guys but one."
"What was her name?" I grinned
"Matilda." She laughed, I laughed. Number Two: Check.
"The store is going crazy." Alice laughed
"We do good work." I laughed as I high-fived her
"Oh, there's a wet floor sign. I'll go grab it."
She ran over and snatched it.
"Let's go find some carpet." I suggested
We found some in a home display thingy. It was to let people see what they could get. Alice set it down just as Matilda turned the corner.
"You rotten kids!" She screamed at us, shaking her fist
We ran. We were trying so hard not to laugh, it didn't work.
"Let's start the next one." Alice offered
We started darting around the store humming mission impossible, loudly. Alice was jumping behind people's carts. I hid behind a tiny lamp, but I accidentally shoved it and we both started cracking up. It was tilting side to side. I pretended to be human a struggled, it fell with a crash. I dropped a hundred dollar bill on the shattered remains, and we ran.
Matilda heard the crash and came running, she was panting, and clutching her side. I think she had been looking for us.
"Let's go hide in the clothing rack!" I shouted to Alice. She smiled and ran off. I followed her and we got in two racks very close to each other. Two ladies came and started looking around our area.
"How 'bout this one?" One asked her friend
"Nah, it looks kind of weird." She replied. They came over to Alice's rack
"Pick me!" She jumped out and squealed at them
"AAHAHHAHHHHH!" They spazzed out. They turned to run and were looking at me. I hopped out.
"Pick me!" I shouted at them
"OHMYGOD!" They really were freaking
Guess who came running? It was good, old Matilda. She saw the two women running and came at us.
"Get out of my store! Now!" She screeched, she was turning a funny maroon color
We ran at a human pace out of the store, laughing. Any normal human would have suffocated from all the laughing we were doing.
We came back to the car, and leaned on it.
"What do we do now?" I asked Alice "We still need to finish the list."
"I have an idea." She replied
"Is it bad?" I asked
"I don't know..." She said in a too innocent tone
"Will I be wearing girl clothes?" I was a little afraid now
"Maybe..." She smiled. This would not be good.
So watcha think? It was only the first chapter...so give me an idea what you think!
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